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Our Readers Share How Their Friends And Family Reacted To Them Coming Out (30 Stories)
Any member of the LGBTQ+ community will probably tell you that coming out can be many things: difficult, heartbreaking, or on the contrary - beautiful and freeing. Our readers were asked to share coming-out stories of their own, and the submissions were flooded with emotional messages.
We’re hoping that reading these can raise awareness about this important topic and maybe even inspire some closeted people to be more courageous and confident about themselves.
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#1
It wasn't planned.
My parents left one day to go shopping and I was running around screaming "I'M GAY!"
Turns out they came back early. Lesson learned and embarrassment received.
Final score:
154points
#2
The first time I was about 7 years old, and my father did NOT take it well that his "son" was now his daughter. Mom somehow convinced him it was "just a phase", which worked great until he got sick of it when I was 9. That's when he decided to commit a federal crime against me and threaten to keep doing that to me every night until I gave in and started acting like a boy. Traumatic, to say the least! It took me about 30 years to undo the damage and find myself again.
Joke's on him, I'm out to my friends and family now (I was quite direct in telling them and they're all cool with it) and he's living alone in an RV miles away and hated by all of his relatives.
Final score:
137points
#3
I didn't tell them. I had a TikTok and they were blocked on there. They stole my phone saw it and told me that they are the only people who will ever love me if continue on with this stuff.
I am a genderfluid, asexual, and lesbian by the way. They took away all of my social media and here I am using bored panda because I am bored.
Final score:
114points
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
I'm so sorry, if you need someone to talk to, i'm here (im a gender confused asexual demiromantic lesbian if that matters)
#4
Not me but my wife's husband is gay and his coming story just shows what a great family they are. When he decided to tell his mom and dad he is gay his mom's answer was: "Honey!! I made you. I knew it before you could even know it yourself. And I couldn't care less. Be who you have to be. I love you. I'm proud of you. I just want you to be a respectable and happy man" and his dad ran out of the room to bring back a bottle of champagne they were keeping to open it when their son would feel safe and strong enough to tell them. I wish everybody had parents like them. The world would be a better place!!
Final score:
110points
#5
I just told my friends and they went: "Wait, we're supposed to be surprised?? Quick, guys!!"
Final score:
104points
#6
Well, my mother's kind of against my sexuality. But I wrote her a letter about me being bi. She hasn't answered yet, but my foster family is with me and supporting me!
Final score:
101points
#7
My dad pretty much ditched me and my mom when I was two so never had the greatest relationship. Cut to high school graduation and he feels the need to reach out so he invites me to his wedding. He told me it was his fifth so he wanted to poke fun at the institution so he was having it on Halloween and it would be a costume party. Well, in his absence he’d neglected to realize I’d been recently employed as a full time drag queen. I knocked on his door in full drag: a skintight leather catsuit, leather waist clincher, long black hair, stiletto boots, the works. When he opened the door he took one look at me then leaned back and shouted to his wife, “Honey, did you hire a hooker?”
“No, dad, it’s me.”
Best. Revenge. Ever.
Final score:
100points
#8
I just listened to "A Little Bit" performed by Alex Brightman on full volume the whole day and my dad thought it was a funny song so he showed it to my mom and told her that I showed it to him, and she listened to it, then looked my in the eyes and said "Are you gay?" and I said "yeah" and started crying. then she asked a bunch of questions and it was nice.
Then I accidentally came out as genderqueer to my mom the other day bc I was crying about insecurities and stuff and she was like "oh but you're so so beautiful, don't worry!" and I went "I don't wanna be beautiful, I wanna be handsome!" and then my mom was kinda like "Oh... I need to know.... what are your pronouns my dear?" and I said I don't know. She told me it was okay, I could still be figuring it out.
And to my friends I just told them something random and I ended it with "anyways girls are hot", and they were like "WAIT" most of them were okay with it, one came out to me at the same time. One literally started the conversation by calling me a lesbian and winking at me I was like "what how did you know" apparently he'd known longer than I knew lol. One went on a rant about how the bible says I'm sinning and how I'm going to hell (I told her praise satan, she wasn't ready for that. she eventually learned to deal with it because me and that other lesbian who came out to me at the same time were her only friends lol). One did the CLASSIC "so do you have a crush on ME?" and I did at the time so that wasn't a good look for lesbians.
Final score:
96points
#9
My coming out wasn't dramatic, because I know my parents support LGBTQ+, but I wasn't planning on coming out, because I think people shouldn't need to come out, as we are on the same level in importance as CisHet people. I think you should just say your pronouns, and that's it.
But of course, there are still people who think that LGBTQ+ is wrong, which is sad. Anyway, I just kind of mentioned I was Lesbian to my dad, at the dinner table, and my sister, who was also there. I don't know if they told my mom, but later when I accidentally mentioned it to her, she just acted like she already knew.
Final score:
94points
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
well that's nice. a lot of parents kind of realize it before you, they're good at reading their kids like that. i don't even know why i was scared to come out, my parents are so supportive of lgbtq that they stopped going to church because they didn't want us exposed to homophobia. and they are love church, so thats a big thing for them, and we're Christians so thats really cool to me.
#10
I got a frying pan, walked up to my Mum, and said: "Hi Mum, look at this amazing pan! You should hang it up on the wall because it reminds you of me!" She looked at me like a was an idiot. So I said, "It's a pan, and I'm a pan..." It didn't work and I didn't feel like explaining. So I'm not out yet.
Final score:
86points
#11
This is the opposite of what was asked, but I moved across the country to San Francisco when I was 20. I'd met this guy Mike and hung out with him a lot, when I'd call home I'd talk to my parents about him and things we did together. Finally Christmas time came along and I said I was going to come home and bring a friend along whose parents were out of the country for Christmas. Mom of course said "Great! We're looking forward to meeting your friend!"
My parents seemed surprised at the airport when I got off the plane, hand in hand with my girlfriend, Christine. Later that day when we were alone my mom asked "Wait, where is Mike? Isn't he your boyfriend!?" When I said "No.... he's my friend." She said "Oh my god, we thought you were gay and weren't ready to come out yet! We thought Christine was Mike's friend"
Then it hit me, I'd been pretty quiet about my relationship with my girlfriend when talking to my parents, I really only only mentioned her in context with Mike like "I went out to dinner with Mike and Chris". And I remembered that when we talked on the phone, Mom would ask a lot of questions about Mike, trying to give me an opening to reveal that he was my boyfriend - I always thought it weird the way she was so interested in him.
So even though I'm not gay and didn't actually come out, I found that my parents would have been very accepting, which makes me pretty lucky after hearing some of the horror stories from friends whose parents who would not accept their homosexuality at all.
Final score:
81points
#12
I'm going to do the time I came out to my friends, cause I still I haven't come out to my family yet. But I hope I will by the end of the month.
Anyway, my friends and I were at Knotts. I think we were in line for The Log Ride, and they were asking me who my ex-crush ex-friend was. I was like, if I tell them, then I'd have to come out. But I was originally going to come out. So, I said, "Lemme get one thing straight, I'm not." A look of surprise crossed my friends' faces. They accepted me and I was so happy. Then one of my friends said "That was so smooth, I think I might use that next time." I gave her a look and she came out to us as a lesbian. My other friend also came out as bisexual too. In the end, I was glad I came out to them. They were so supportive of me. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH Y'ALL!!!
Final score:
71points
#13
I haven't officially come out to my parents, but I drew an ace flag and hung it up, and folded up my clothes to look like an ace flag. I haven't come out to my friends because I haven't seen them in a long time, but I'm afraid they won't like me anymore.
Final score:
64points
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
I'm sure your friends will still love you, if they don't, they're toxic and not good friends. you can be whoever you want and love whoever you want. I'll be your friend, if that makes you feel better about anything.
#14
This is a little unusual, but I think it fits. I've been married a long time, and always loved the romantic and fun bits leading up to sex, but not sex itself. We thought I couldn't possibly be asexual because I always enjoyed myself beforehand. My husband knew this, and we always communicated clearly about what we wanted and needed (we used to joke that we probably talked about sex before anybody else in the country!).
One day, he was reading a novel where the main character described herself a "asexual, but not aromantic." He said, "Honey, I think this is you." So I guess my husband brought me out of the closet?
Final score:
61points
#15
Yup I'm bisexual and I'm allowed to have girlfriends (I'm a female) but only allowed to marry men.
Final score:
57points
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
That's my brothers logic too. He told me it was fine that I could have a girlfriend I just couldn't marry her. Even though he's bisexual, he tells himself that he can have crushes on boys but he has to marry a girl. Internal homophobia sucks. When you turn 18, your parents can't control that, because you're technically an adult.
#16
I said “Hey, I’m asexual” and they were like,” Okay, but what do you want for lunch?”
Final score:
57points
StrangeLittleThing 3 years ago
You just came out as asexual, it had to be garlic bread, was it garlic bread???
#17
I was in the car with them haha and then I was kinda like "hey...I'm a lesbian..." and they were like oh okay and my mom asked if I was suicidal which...thanks for caring I guess but it was kinda weird
and then I just kinda mentioned gay memes and my friends picked up on it
Final score:
55points
Noelle Morrison 3 years ago
She probably thought that because a lot of LGBTQ people commit suicide, because others bully/harass them.
#18
After seeing Eret wearing a dress and coming out as bisexual in front of so many people inspired me, I wasn’t afraid to let my true colors shine anymore. I told my family, my friends, and grandparents. My family accepted it almost immediately :), my friends being the teenagers we are they said “POGCHAMP” which made me laugh and feel appreciated because now my friend group has one of each. My grandmother however, we had an argument, she did say that I am female, but after talking it out we decided to just not bring it up again. My grandfather was chill with it. (Btw I’m non-binary)
Final score:
52points
#19
I first told by best friend before we were about to preform at a Christmas party. I told her I am gay and she just gave me a big hug. Then she was like I’m so proud of you and I still love you and care about you. Then we both cried. Then we went and preformed. Later that night I came out to rest of my friends. It was and still one of the most amazing nights of my life and wouldn’t change a thing. Ive got some advice for any closeted teens out there. I’m a teen too. I know how you feel. Constant fear and stress about people finding out your secret. Just find someone that you know will accept you. Tell them who you are. I promise that when they accept you you will feel like a GIANT weight was just lifted off your chest.
Final score:
51points
rennie roo 2 years ago
I go to a catholic school and I am so scared to come out because I did with one of my "friends" and she was like ohmygod do you have a crush on me?? and you can't change in the girls locker room anymore, it's creepy. :,( anyone have any advice
#20
While explaining to my parents what being aromantic means.
Final score:
47points
#21
Ok. My coming-out story is really not interesting. I came out to my brother with a text message, and with my parents, while we were watching tv, I was like, "Hey. I'm Bi." And they were like "Cool." I came out to by queer friends through a text message, and that's... it. Not that intristing. :)
Final score:
43points
#22
Didn't have to. It's that obvious.
Final score:
42points
Laura Ketteridge 2 years ago
I really hope that with future generations there's no need to come out as there will not have been the assumption everyone is cishet.
#23
My parents found out when my mum was accidentally added to a group chat and I didn’t realise and said my gf dumped me so I didn’t really come out to them but I came out to my friends by just telling them that I had a crush on a girl and hoping that they were supportive (they were)
Final score:
41points
#24
I made a six layer cake with my brother (he knew way before my parents did and he was totally cool, just surprised) where each layer was a color of the rainbow. On the top I wrote " I
Final score:
39points
Fishwasher 3 years ago
did you accidentally press publish? That's really impressive it's hard to bake a cake like that
#25
Bi. Knew my mother was supportive and just told her, but was unsure about my father. Me and him got chatting over wrapping some christmas presents for family, and he made it known offside that he was perfectly fine with LGBT+. So I told him too, he shrugged and said that it's fine, and jokingly said to add girls to the list of people to bring forward for marriage proposals.
Final score:
36points
#26
I was planning to do something big, but I ended up just going up to my parents and saying “ Hey, I’m bi.” Thankfully my parents are very supportive- they bought me a bi pride flag and earrings for the pride picnic going on in my area soon! It’ll be my first pride month out of the closet and I’m so grateful for an accepting family.
Final score:
36points
#28
My mother would NOT SHUT UP about cishet intercourse so I just kinda yelled at her (after asking her to stop several times because nobody at her house was gonna do THAT) “IM GAY CAN YOU STOP NOW??!” Afterwards she didn’t believe me, and kept asking “are you reeaaally though?” And once I finally convinced her she didn’t care. Then the next day she asked me about pronouns and exact sexuality and I told her (they/them/theirs) and she hasn’t respected it since. Anytime I correct her she m arks it as disrespectful.
Almost all my friends are lgbptqiaanbfd+ But I told the first at a sleepover when I was talking about a girl I liked.
Final score:
34points
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
She shouldn't tell you you're disrespectful, she's the one being disrespectful
#29
not dramatic for me... I literally said I was gay, then later I said I was Genderfluid... So I have to yell at my mom about my pronouns...
Final score:
30points
#30
I just sorta mentioned it and hmthey were like ok cool and that was that.
What do you think ?
ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
I am a fifty year old white heterosexual married man with two kids and it breaks m heart when I read that parents don't accept the sexuality of their kids, especially because of religion.
K.J. Heidebrecht 3 years ago
I worked in my dad's microfilm company (before digital record keeping began). On my lunch break, I'd sit in the camera repair shop and read. One day, my father slipped a Wall Street Journal opinion piece - more like a quiet screed - about why homosexuality is wrong. I read out and started writing a reply to him. I debunked the piece point but point. I set on it for a couple of days. When I reread it, I saw that I was irrational as I wrote, so I chucked it. I completely ignored the screed. A few weeks later I parked my car next to his one Friday. That day as I was leaving, he asked, "What are you doing this weekend?" I told him I washing my car, seeing a movie with friends, other stuff.. He said, "While you're washing your car, why don't you take off that bumper sticker?" I replied that I wouldn't do that. After we started at each other for a few secs, I said, "I know you don't want too accepts it, Dad, but I'm a les-" He cut me off and said angrily, "No, don't say that word, you're not that." Already his face had gone sunburn-red; I watched the color rise from under his shirt to the part in his hair. We started asst each other for a minute more. Then I said "Have a nice weekend," and walked out the door. -- OH, YEAH! The bumper sticker was white blockl letters on black. It read HOMOPHOBIA IS A SOCIAL DISEASE.
Aeon Flux 3 years ago
Guys, saying things like, "I don't understand why people need to even talk about who they want to have sex with," misses the point. People are telling you their identity. Who they are. They're not telling you because they necessarily want to share their sex life with you. They're telling you because it should be something we can talk about, and it shouldn't be seen as abnormal. Be careful about having a silencing effect. Be careful about having a silencing effect
ADHORTATOR 3 years ago
I am a fifty year old white heterosexual married man with two kids and it breaks m heart when I read that parents don't accept the sexuality of their kids, especially because of religion.
K.J. Heidebrecht 3 years ago
I worked in my dad's microfilm company (before digital record keeping began). On my lunch break, I'd sit in the camera repair shop and read. One day, my father slipped a Wall Street Journal opinion piece - more like a quiet screed - about why homosexuality is wrong. I read out and started writing a reply to him. I debunked the piece point but point. I set on it for a couple of days. When I reread it, I saw that I was irrational as I wrote, so I chucked it. I completely ignored the screed. A few weeks later I parked my car next to his one Friday. That day as I was leaving, he asked, "What are you doing this weekend?" I told him I washing my car, seeing a movie with friends, other stuff.. He said, "While you're washing your car, why don't you take off that bumper sticker?" I replied that I wouldn't do that. After we started at each other for a few secs, I said, "I know you don't want too accepts it, Dad, but I'm a les-" He cut me off and said angrily, "No, don't say that word, you're not that." Already his face had gone sunburn-red; I watched the color rise from under his shirt to the part in his hair. We started asst each other for a minute more. Then I said "Have a nice weekend," and walked out the door. -- OH, YEAH! The bumper sticker was white blockl letters on black. It read HOMOPHOBIA IS A SOCIAL DISEASE.
Aeon Flux 3 years ago
Guys, saying things like, "I don't understand why people need to even talk about who they want to have sex with," misses the point. People are telling you their identity. Who they are. They're not telling you because they necessarily want to share their sex life with you. They're telling you because it should be something we can talk about, and it shouldn't be seen as abnormal. Be careful about having a silencing effect. Be careful about having a silencing effect
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