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My Comic Guide On How To Handle Gender Expectations As A Parent
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My Comic Guide On How To Handle Gender Expectations As A Parent

After A Conversation With My Wife About Parenting And Gender Stereotypes, We Realized That We Aren’t Our Expectations And I Made A Comic About ItMy Comic Guide On How To Handle Gender Expectations As A ParentA Comic I Created After An Important Talk With My Wife About Our Son And Gender ExpectationsAfter Saying To My Son After A Conversation With My Wife About Gender Stereotypes, We Realized That We Aren't Our Expectations And I Made A Comic About ItWe Aren't Our Expectations: I Made A Comic After A Conversation With My Wife About Parenting And Gender StereotypesMy Comic Guide On How To Deal With Gender Expectations As A ParentAfter Saying I Made A Comic About The Pressures Of Gender Expectations And How To Make It Better As A ParentMy Comic Guide On How To Handle Gender Expectations As A Parent
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I’m an ordinary salary otter from Singapore, and I love to create content about family, psychology, and most importantly, understanding each other.

My wife and I had an important talk about us and our son and how to parent him. At the end of the day, a little shift in mindset can make a powerful difference in our children’s lives.

When we focus on who they are, and not society’s expectations, we’re creating an environment where the next generation can be themselves and love themselves.

Empathy is a trait we’re constantly asked to have, but it can only be utilized when we truly understand how people see the world from numerous angles. For the Gender Expectations post, I drew on personal experiences, conversations with friends, and insightful articles to create a more nuanced and measured comic. This has no agenda; it’s simply about understanding the pressures all of us face because of gender expectations, and how to make it better.

More info: Facebook | Instagram | twitter.com

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Robert the Otter

Robert the Otter

Author, Community member

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Just an ordinary otter embracing the Otter Way of Life.

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Robert the Otter

Robert the Otter

Author, Community member

Just an ordinary otter embracing the Otter Way of Life.

Violeta Draseikaitė

Violeta Draseikaitė

Moderator, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

My name is Violeta and I am an editor here at Bored Panda. I love reading memes for a living. It’s obviously much more than that, but I appreciate the variety of topics, information, and pics I get to see every day and share with the world! Those funny memes really make my day too. Being born in the ’90s in post-Soviet Lithuania speaks more about me than I’d like to admit. I’m still learning about the world and myself, but I do love my friends, traveling, art, and my cat. My favorite fact to share about myself is that I used to hide meatballs in my friend’s pockets at lunch so I could go play outside. I wish all those meatballs could find their way back to me someday.

Read less »

Violeta Draseikaitė

Violeta Draseikaitė

Moderator, BoredPanda staff

My name is Violeta and I am an editor here at Bored Panda. I love reading memes for a living. It’s obviously much more than that, but I appreciate the variety of topics, information, and pics I get to see every day and share with the world! Those funny memes really make my day too. Being born in the ’90s in post-Soviet Lithuania speaks more about me than I’d like to admit. I’m still learning about the world and myself, but I do love my friends, traveling, art, and my cat. My favorite fact to share about myself is that I used to hide meatballs in my friend’s pockets at lunch so I could go play outside. I wish all those meatballs could find their way back to me someday.

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tradition is just peer pressure from the dead. You think you should live a certain way because other people think they should think you should... And in the end, nobody cares, but everybody cares because nobody knows that nobody cares. Simple.

Bambi_da1andonly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love it! I have short hair and I’m bi. I really needed this for the bully’s!

Demon Child
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A comic about gender stereotypes...AND OTTERS???? perfect🖤

Ambar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! consider likes and dislikes, culture, tradition do anything to be the person you wanna be! women can be strong, men can cry. there shouldn't be one way on how genders should be, it would be too plain then. (p.s I like the way how the drawings are, very simple yet wonderful!)

Phica Afton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sadly part of the reason I'm non-binary is because of all these expectations for certain genders. Some people would tease me about it saying s**t like "you're a girl, so that means you like pink." I actually despise the color, reason being that females are "supposed to like it" it pisses me off that people tend to see a female or male, and immediately assume stuff, "oh you're a boy, you must like sports an working out" "you're a girl, you must like makeup and the way your hair looks!" Please stop assuming these things. One of my friends bought me pink stuff because they thought I like pink because I was a female at that time.

VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate pink. It’s like one of my least favorite colors. I have like on shirt that’s pink, but it happens to be my most comfortable shirt so I like it. But I get that. That’s kind of why I’m non binary too. I hate that it’s just like “ oh your a girl here’s some makeup and some pink crap” or “oh you’re a boy here’s weights and action figures”. I hate makeup and pink. I like action figures and weights are fun. I want to join a rock climbing team. Like a lot of that stuff is typically “boy stuff”. I’m just so sick of it.

Load More Replies...
Chillace
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i played pokemon my male kirlia evolved into a gardevoir, i showed my brother and he got mad about "gardevoir is a girl bla bla bla" i named my gardevoir "F*k da norm"

HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad does most of the cooking and cleaning and my mom works all day in our house, I know a lot of my friends have really sexist and stereotypical gender roles in their houses and they hate it. I wish everybody could be more accepting of getting rid of gender stereotypes and roles

RandomBeing
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They make no sense. Like genitals and chromosomes or whatever (cuz those peeps are probs cis) actually defining who does what household chores????????? WHAT :D my parents share chores and do whatever is most practical for our family at the time.

Load More Replies...
Nicola Dimigen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this! <3 No one should have to take on specific roles that they aren't comfertable with, because strangers and dead people think they should. Although my favorite part was the Otter Stare.

Just_Another_Hooman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this so much! I'm a demigirl (they/she) and I want to look slightly more androgynous but I live in a conservative area and it's hard to express myself without critisism

Heather Mack-Scott
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. My Hubby and I raised our kids as people not just boys. My oldest son had a doll he loved to play with when he was young and that was fine with us. My youngest son love to ware make up and my hubby dose his nails. I see nothing wrong with any of that and hate people that talk bad about it. I say be who you want to be a fug what society say you have to be.

Sophie Delpas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's cool to see that you and your wife actually accepted your gender biases and worked on improving it. 👏

A_BadlyDrawnBearPic
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup- My dad makes a pretty good beef, salmon, chicken, and clam chowder.

Gina Festa
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh i know this feeling, i see many ads or tv show where actors be beautiful and as a woman who a bit chubby i didn't felt like I wantnt like other female bc of my deep voice, but I happy as myself, I a female who like to do boys things sometime and girls things but no pressure

Mermeow Overlord (they/them)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(Replying to Pitre) You are thinking like society is just some machine designed to produce a new generation of humans with the exact same purpose, life should enjoyed and that means being able to live the life you want to live, it's true that only women and trans afab people can give birth but what if they don't want to go through 9 months of suffering and childbirth, men may have more natural physical strength but their life should not be: childhood, school, reproduce for 5 minutes, go to war and die, on the subject of gay people not reproducing, gay people can adopt children or have children some other way. I am also concerned about another thing "a man needs to be alive 5 minutes to make a baby, a woman needs to be alive at the very least 9 months to make a baby" are you suggesting that children should reproduce within the first 5 minutes of their life, I am going to hope that is not what you meant.

Mermeow Overlord (they/them)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry for any spelling and grammar errors, I haven't typed something this long in such a small box before, I actually reached the character limit for the first time.

Load More Replies...
Mermeow Overlord (they/them)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was younger I had a similar experience, I was trying to go against stereotypes instead but it was still similar, I was trying to go against the male expectations, I wore dresses and wanted to learn to cook. Eventually I started questioning my gender identity and realized I might be a girl, I wanted to go against those expectations by exercising and stuff but that took too much effort and I had actually enjoyed wearing dresses, I soon realized I was non-binary and realized that those expectations should just be ignored, going against them had the same effect on me as following them, now I wear dresses because I want to and I don't think I will try to learn cooking.

Yzabela Tam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All must fear the great otter stare. The great otter stare has power of the unspoken. All hail the otter stare...

Axolotl King
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's funny, I have 3 sets of grandparents (my maternal grandparents got divorced and both each got a new partner) and in 2 out of those 3 sets the guy cooks. And they're both AMAZING COOKS. Like my grandpas fried potatoes are the BEST breakfast EVER

Ben Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People over think this WAY too much. Raise your children to care about other people and the rest sorts itself out. Quit forcing the issue.

Pitre
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Gender expectations exist for a reason. A biological one. Why are boys told not to cry? Because they are supposed to be the ones to fight in wars and protect the family. For biological reasons that I hope I don't have to explain (from the superior muscle mass and strength of men to the fact a man needs to be alive 5 minutes to make a baby, a woman needs to be alive at the very least 9 months to make a baby). Why do we say little girls are pretty but we hardly compliment them on being smart? Because being smart doesn't make you less or more likely to find a mate; being pretty does. And in our species, the females are the one who look cute to attract partners (kinda the reverse of how it is for birds?). Why were homosexuals hated in many cultures? Because they wouldn't help continue the species. Why are homosexuals over-celebrated today in some cultures? Because they wouldn't help continue the species. (For me, they're normal people, who don't need hate or special treatment.)

Vera
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This comment has been deleted.

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tradition is just peer pressure from the dead. You think you should live a certain way because other people think they should think you should... And in the end, nobody cares, but everybody cares because nobody knows that nobody cares. Simple.

Bambi_da1andonly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love it! I have short hair and I’m bi. I really needed this for the bully’s!

Demon Child
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A comic about gender stereotypes...AND OTTERS???? perfect🖤

Ambar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! consider likes and dislikes, culture, tradition do anything to be the person you wanna be! women can be strong, men can cry. there shouldn't be one way on how genders should be, it would be too plain then. (p.s I like the way how the drawings are, very simple yet wonderful!)

Phica Afton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sadly part of the reason I'm non-binary is because of all these expectations for certain genders. Some people would tease me about it saying s**t like "you're a girl, so that means you like pink." I actually despise the color, reason being that females are "supposed to like it" it pisses me off that people tend to see a female or male, and immediately assume stuff, "oh you're a boy, you must like sports an working out" "you're a girl, you must like makeup and the way your hair looks!" Please stop assuming these things. One of my friends bought me pink stuff because they thought I like pink because I was a female at that time.

VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate pink. It’s like one of my least favorite colors. I have like on shirt that’s pink, but it happens to be my most comfortable shirt so I like it. But I get that. That’s kind of why I’m non binary too. I hate that it’s just like “ oh your a girl here’s some makeup and some pink crap” or “oh you’re a boy here’s weights and action figures”. I hate makeup and pink. I like action figures and weights are fun. I want to join a rock climbing team. Like a lot of that stuff is typically “boy stuff”. I’m just so sick of it.

Load More Replies...
Chillace
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i played pokemon my male kirlia evolved into a gardevoir, i showed my brother and he got mad about "gardevoir is a girl bla bla bla" i named my gardevoir "F*k da norm"

HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad does most of the cooking and cleaning and my mom works all day in our house, I know a lot of my friends have really sexist and stereotypical gender roles in their houses and they hate it. I wish everybody could be more accepting of getting rid of gender stereotypes and roles

RandomBeing
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They make no sense. Like genitals and chromosomes or whatever (cuz those peeps are probs cis) actually defining who does what household chores????????? WHAT :D my parents share chores and do whatever is most practical for our family at the time.

Load More Replies...
Nicola Dimigen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this! <3 No one should have to take on specific roles that they aren't comfertable with, because strangers and dead people think they should. Although my favorite part was the Otter Stare.

Just_Another_Hooman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this so much! I'm a demigirl (they/she) and I want to look slightly more androgynous but I live in a conservative area and it's hard to express myself without critisism

Heather Mack-Scott
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. My Hubby and I raised our kids as people not just boys. My oldest son had a doll he loved to play with when he was young and that was fine with us. My youngest son love to ware make up and my hubby dose his nails. I see nothing wrong with any of that and hate people that talk bad about it. I say be who you want to be a fug what society say you have to be.

Sophie Delpas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's cool to see that you and your wife actually accepted your gender biases and worked on improving it. 👏

A_BadlyDrawnBearPic
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup- My dad makes a pretty good beef, salmon, chicken, and clam chowder.

Gina Festa
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh i know this feeling, i see many ads or tv show where actors be beautiful and as a woman who a bit chubby i didn't felt like I wantnt like other female bc of my deep voice, but I happy as myself, I a female who like to do boys things sometime and girls things but no pressure

Mermeow Overlord (they/them)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(Replying to Pitre) You are thinking like society is just some machine designed to produce a new generation of humans with the exact same purpose, life should enjoyed and that means being able to live the life you want to live, it's true that only women and trans afab people can give birth but what if they don't want to go through 9 months of suffering and childbirth, men may have more natural physical strength but their life should not be: childhood, school, reproduce for 5 minutes, go to war and die, on the subject of gay people not reproducing, gay people can adopt children or have children some other way. I am also concerned about another thing "a man needs to be alive 5 minutes to make a baby, a woman needs to be alive at the very least 9 months to make a baby" are you suggesting that children should reproduce within the first 5 minutes of their life, I am going to hope that is not what you meant.

Mermeow Overlord (they/them)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry for any spelling and grammar errors, I haven't typed something this long in such a small box before, I actually reached the character limit for the first time.

Load More Replies...
Mermeow Overlord (they/them)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was younger I had a similar experience, I was trying to go against stereotypes instead but it was still similar, I was trying to go against the male expectations, I wore dresses and wanted to learn to cook. Eventually I started questioning my gender identity and realized I might be a girl, I wanted to go against those expectations by exercising and stuff but that took too much effort and I had actually enjoyed wearing dresses, I soon realized I was non-binary and realized that those expectations should just be ignored, going against them had the same effect on me as following them, now I wear dresses because I want to and I don't think I will try to learn cooking.

Yzabela Tam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All must fear the great otter stare. The great otter stare has power of the unspoken. All hail the otter stare...

Axolotl King
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's funny, I have 3 sets of grandparents (my maternal grandparents got divorced and both each got a new partner) and in 2 out of those 3 sets the guy cooks. And they're both AMAZING COOKS. Like my grandpas fried potatoes are the BEST breakfast EVER

Ben Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People over think this WAY too much. Raise your children to care about other people and the rest sorts itself out. Quit forcing the issue.

Pitre
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Gender expectations exist for a reason. A biological one. Why are boys told not to cry? Because they are supposed to be the ones to fight in wars and protect the family. For biological reasons that I hope I don't have to explain (from the superior muscle mass and strength of men to the fact a man needs to be alive 5 minutes to make a baby, a woman needs to be alive at the very least 9 months to make a baby). Why do we say little girls are pretty but we hardly compliment them on being smart? Because being smart doesn't make you less or more likely to find a mate; being pretty does. And in our species, the females are the one who look cute to attract partners (kinda the reverse of how it is for birds?). Why were homosexuals hated in many cultures? Because they wouldn't help continue the species. Why are homosexuals over-celebrated today in some cultures? Because they wouldn't help continue the species. (For me, they're normal people, who don't need hate or special treatment.)

Vera
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This comment has been deleted.

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