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This Fart Guide Is A Must Read For Every Couple That Sleeps In The Same Bed
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This Fart Guide Is A Must Read For Every Couple That Sleeps In The Same Bed

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During the first phase of most romantic relationships, we try to look as desirable as possible, even if that means ignoring some of our bodily urges. Like, letting out a fart, for example. Sooner or later, however, most couples realize that there’s no need to blow against the wind and deny their biology, sharing their first fart. Weng Chen, the illustrator behind The Adventures of Messy Cow, thinks it’s perfectly normal, too. To highlight this, she has created a humorous guide on how to fart for everyone who is sharing a bed with their significant other, and these funny comics might be more useful than you’d think.

“I ate all kinds of food and often ran into this problem,” Chen told Bored Panda. “I was curious how other people handled the farting in public situation, but it’s a hard topic to bring up in casual conversations. So I decided to make a webcomic about it and <...> was happily surprised by how many people were open to this discussion.”

“Some couples can fart comfortably in front of each other after a week, some won’t do that after 50 years of long term relationships,” she added. “I think you should care about how it affects your relationship because you don’t want to make your partner dislike you because of smells and fart sounds, and it’s important you keep liking each other in a long-term relationship. I recommend using my funny comic strips as a guide and test it step by step. If your partner showed disgust at some point, don’t proceed further down the list.”

Cartoonist Weng is Chinese, but she’s fluent in English and visual language, too. She started drawing manga at a very young age and has been creating comics on-and-off since. In late 2016, she started the Messy Cow series.

More info: messycow.com | Facebook | tumblr | Twitter

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Author, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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chris gill
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wife let on rip one time with the cat on the bed with us. the cat started coughing (probably a hairball) and left the room. I told her how bad it was that a even the cat had to leave the room.

Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are funny, but in reality you don't even notice your farts if you sleep well. And if you truly love each other, you will just joke about it.

Laura M D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's an idiom in Spanish "peo en sueño, no tiene dueño". The literal translation could be... "a fart during sleeping has no owner". It means you aren't guilty if you fart while sleeping. I laughed a lot the first time I heard it! I find it very useful.

I-ate-all-the-cheese
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I used to think my boyfriend was asleep and I let one go with a little noise, he would always open one eye and ask..."did the ducks follow us home from the park?"

Hans
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hans' pro tip: If you have a dog, do not feed him raw egg. They say it leads to shiny fur. They do not tell you it leads to internal rotting. The smell might overturn any human farts, but it can be so bad that the dog leaves he room after farting. And this tells you how horrible it really is...after all dogs leisurely use to smell at turds.

Anne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feed my dog raw eggs often.. No fart detected yet (at all, actually) - may be the other food in combination with egg? I don't feed her grains, which also seems to prevent stinky farty dogs

Load More Replies...
Dianar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Car farts bad as bed farts. When hubby rolls up the car window and starts giggling prepare for a whiff of the devils cologne

Tiu Tau Tilhi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hurrah for separate blankets! Common in some Nordic countries, at least. I'd never trade my own blanket for a shared large one, for so many reasons.

Chyppa Homer
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I let one rip once with both our cats sleeping on the bed by our feet, figured I'blame it on them. Cowards jumped up, ran out in terror :D

Wil Vanderheijden
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I have reached an agreement. The one who farts, will sniff it up.

NWB
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The blame the baby one is a winner every time....and accurate as how the little buggers sleep....starfished!!!

Kori K. Warriner
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandfather (RIP) would always yell "Grouse!" after he farted. At which my grandmother would say "Bert!! Gah..." while shaking her head and rolling her eyes. Hilarious.

Juana
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is the woman the only one farting in the cartoons? Does not mirror my reality.

Shawna Brianna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or..... you can let a large one fly under the covers, wait a few minutes (pretending you're asleep, of course), "wake up" blaming the smell on them farting in their sleep! They were asleep so they won't know it wasn't them! BOOM. Genius.

Mae
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I usually fart when I'm asleep and then I'm woken up by my own fart hoping I didn't wake up my boyfriend xD

Luiz Cesar Savi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The Shifty Way" reminded me of a saying I heard several times from my mom: "In a house with pets or babies, grown-ups don't fart."

toldyouso
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mz boyfriend and i have to say "safety" asap after we fart. He introduces that game to his scouts so they dont feel ashamed to pass gas. So if you dont say safety asap the other ones can tickle you until you say "donut (pun: do not)". So wherever we are sometimes one of us will gently whisper in the otger ones ear "safety" and sometimes its in unbeliveable situations like a full bus etc and its always funny xD

Jo Browne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A fart is gush of wind that gives the stomach ease, It warms up the blankets and suffocates the fleas

Bojana Zivkovic
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dog is ez to blam, everytime someone fart, he sniff his own butt 😅

Bas Molenaar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids, try this one at home: Put your cupped hand over your a*s. When you fart, close your hand. Open it in your partner's face. "Hadouken"

Eric Spence
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have an long-haired orange tabby cat that farts the fishiest fart bombs in the world. We have had dogs and their farts pale in comparison to his. He was right next to me about an hour or so ago and delivered one of his famous stink bombs. What adds insult to injury is that he has a bushy tail that fans it right in our faces. Ughhhhhh!

diane a
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

strange how your farts always reflect what you have been eating - potatos are the worst culprits

Load More Replies...
Phillip Moderow
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Trickydiarrhea": Diarrhea that tricks you into thinking "it's just gas". Heaven forbid ...

ThatJeremyKid
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex farted really loud in her sleep once, then sleep giggled about it...

Ian Bodey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is it that when someone on the telly Farts you can't stop laughing......

Grace Robertson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband used to blame our children a lot. That kind of stop when our kids began to talk and made him own up to it.

Zoomerang
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just tell her, "It's not the smell that bothers me, it's just that it burns my eyes."

Aubrie Allen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dude and I "fart toss." Who ever farts, we both try and grab it and throw it in the other person's face. It's so fun and hilarious. I love making farting a game instead of being embarrassed and having to sneak away to let one go.

Holly Hobby
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are in the Catastrophic phase. Also, we blame the car whether she is in the room or not

Brain-In-A-Vat
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'THE HOOTER' Step1, get out of bed. Step 2, leave the bedroom, BUT leave the door OPEN. Step 3, go to the bathroom/toilet, leave the door OPEN. Step 4, remove appropriate clothing and sit on the toilet. Step 5, 'Let It Go!!' the toilet bowl amplified sound will be magnificent . . .

Adriane Clermont
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I broke the fart barrier the first night I met my husband 🤣 I thought he was asleep and my lord it had to jave been the loudest thing to where come out of me! He started laughing so now it was my turn to pretend to be asleep. We've been together for 10 years married for 5 💖

Lisa Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many years ago my dad let one rip and blamed it on the dog. A moment later the dig was whining and clawing at the door to be let in the house. Dad's response, "Of course he wants in. As bad as it is in here, can you imagine what it's like out there?"

herpos derpos
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but i fart while i'm sleeping so i HAVE to do it the "a*****e way"...which is funny because I'm an a*****e even though i'm doing something bad while not even conscious so how can i be blamed for being an a*****e...besides you know...having something come out my a*s...but i'm unconscious...idk whatever if they mad they mad

Deborah Davis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I know is that you DO NOT fart when your wife is giving you a BJ. Isn’t that right, EX husband?!

Alasdair Wright
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such a hoot! I FART most times (NEVER admitting that I do! Might offend someone!?!?) in a variety of musically tuneful vibrations and noises

Mamatomypup Murphy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I've mastered it? Lactose in cows milk gives me so much gas that i can't digest and eating chicken seems to make the gas stinky. So there you go that's my theory....LOL 😂

Mamatomypup Murphy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I've conquered the no fart peaceful sleep. Lactose in cows milk gives me so much gas that I can't digest and chicken seems to make my farts stinky....So there you go I'm now watching what I eat....LOL!!

Kikka io
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

another "catastrophic way" is to get one out when the cooling fan is at your feet, and pushes the air in favor of her nose. especially when the dinner was of chili with beans

Oscar Jeong
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you shake it off outside, will you do it while you imagine the farting sound is a part of the music? If yes, will it be the symphony no.5 of Ludwig van Beethoven?

Alexandra Perry
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG! This is too funny! I have to admit, I have always been !#. I just can't let go in front of anyone no matter how long I have been with that person! Now, of course, there is nothing I can do about the ones that escape when I am asleep and so far no one has ever complained about those, so maybe I am in the clear! *L* Until I get older that is. My grandmother has told me the older you get the harder it is to hold it in. Grandpa just gave her a long slow dirty look when she told me that *L* I didn't press the subject any further after that.

Kim Lorton
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sitting here reading this, and dying laughing and gagging, as my dog is on my lap, and farting up a silent storm! I think I’m going to puke! It is almost comparable to the husband after he eats beans... except I can feed the hubby beano, and the dog? He’ll just ding something nasty in the yard to eat, and fart more!! UGHHHHHHH, 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Kim Lorton
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you can fart in freedom, and share the stinky laugh, and not die from the smell... you have the foundation for either a great friendship, or a lifelong love!

Gillian Black
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my late husband didn't know woman farted til he met me, his first wife must have done the run to the bathroom, and exs well who knows oh the relief

Shannon Moore
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always held it in for my ex...we lived together for 6 yrs. Now I can finally, just do it without any restraint #win

Ian Bodey
Community Member
6 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to play burglars when I Fart, I fart and she says what was that noise , I say it must be burglars she gets frightened and pulls the covers over her head and I just burst out laughing crying tears. She's not happy....

Jessie Gallagher
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Catastrophic way - the vibrations woke him up, then the smell hit. I slept straight through it.

SnowyLynx
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is too funny, but so true. People need to be aware of their odor and how it affects the other people around them

Ken Airhart
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex and I used to sleep with a fan on. Never had much of an issue

William Hartnell
Community Member
6 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happens to everyone and is ashamed of it's not worth it. I'm more concerned with the question and if you went with your companion to a restaurant, for example, or in a cafe and there was an incident. It is clear that your escort will support you, but still how to look into your eyes. By the way, excellent site https://escortbelohorizonte.info

Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Foul-smelling farts are a definite sign of liver problems. Look into this before it's too late.

diane a
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Foul smelling farts are a definite sign of what you ate the day before

Load More Replies...
Lola
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Never have and never will in front of people. Call me anything you want. I find it very disgusting. At least in my culture it is unheard of for a woman to do that.

SirWriteALot
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

you don't fart in front of your spouse. That's gross.

Lazy Panda
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don’t marry someone only to be so uptight and uneasy around them that you can never fart

Load More Replies...
Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

My partner's farts were so bad, I always feared that I will get brain tumor coz of them. I had to take the indirect blame many times when travelling or in tight public places. Then someone showed us the truth, opened our eyes to reality and we stopped eating beans!

Qothgaqume
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

hahaha good dicisioun. But if you're tired of your wife. Try this excellent service https://escorteilat.info . Meet with girls without obligations.

Qothgaqume
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This happens to everyone and is ashamed of it's not worth it. I'm more concerned with the question and if you went with your companion to a restaurant, for example, or in a cafe and there was an incident. It is clear that your escort will support you, but still how to look into your eyes. By the way, excellent site https://escortbelohorizonte.info

chris gill
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wife let on rip one time with the cat on the bed with us. the cat started coughing (probably a hairball) and left the room. I told her how bad it was that a even the cat had to leave the room.

Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are funny, but in reality you don't even notice your farts if you sleep well. And if you truly love each other, you will just joke about it.

Laura M D
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's an idiom in Spanish "peo en sueño, no tiene dueño". The literal translation could be... "a fart during sleeping has no owner". It means you aren't guilty if you fart while sleeping. I laughed a lot the first time I heard it! I find it very useful.

I-ate-all-the-cheese
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I used to think my boyfriend was asleep and I let one go with a little noise, he would always open one eye and ask..."did the ducks follow us home from the park?"

Hans
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hans' pro tip: If you have a dog, do not feed him raw egg. They say it leads to shiny fur. They do not tell you it leads to internal rotting. The smell might overturn any human farts, but it can be so bad that the dog leaves he room after farting. And this tells you how horrible it really is...after all dogs leisurely use to smell at turds.

Anne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feed my dog raw eggs often.. No fart detected yet (at all, actually) - may be the other food in combination with egg? I don't feed her grains, which also seems to prevent stinky farty dogs

Load More Replies...
Dianar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Car farts bad as bed farts. When hubby rolls up the car window and starts giggling prepare for a whiff of the devils cologne

Tiu Tau Tilhi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hurrah for separate blankets! Common in some Nordic countries, at least. I'd never trade my own blanket for a shared large one, for so many reasons.

Chyppa Homer
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I let one rip once with both our cats sleeping on the bed by our feet, figured I'blame it on them. Cowards jumped up, ran out in terror :D

Wil Vanderheijden
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I have reached an agreement. The one who farts, will sniff it up.

NWB
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The blame the baby one is a winner every time....and accurate as how the little buggers sleep....starfished!!!

Kori K. Warriner
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandfather (RIP) would always yell "Grouse!" after he farted. At which my grandmother would say "Bert!! Gah..." while shaking her head and rolling her eyes. Hilarious.

Juana
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is the woman the only one farting in the cartoons? Does not mirror my reality.

Shawna Brianna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or..... you can let a large one fly under the covers, wait a few minutes (pretending you're asleep, of course), "wake up" blaming the smell on them farting in their sleep! They were asleep so they won't know it wasn't them! BOOM. Genius.

Mae
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I usually fart when I'm asleep and then I'm woken up by my own fart hoping I didn't wake up my boyfriend xD

Luiz Cesar Savi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The Shifty Way" reminded me of a saying I heard several times from my mom: "In a house with pets or babies, grown-ups don't fart."

toldyouso
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mz boyfriend and i have to say "safety" asap after we fart. He introduces that game to his scouts so they dont feel ashamed to pass gas. So if you dont say safety asap the other ones can tickle you until you say "donut (pun: do not)". So wherever we are sometimes one of us will gently whisper in the otger ones ear "safety" and sometimes its in unbeliveable situations like a full bus etc and its always funny xD

Jo Browne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A fart is gush of wind that gives the stomach ease, It warms up the blankets and suffocates the fleas

Bojana Zivkovic
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dog is ez to blam, everytime someone fart, he sniff his own butt 😅

Bas Molenaar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids, try this one at home: Put your cupped hand over your a*s. When you fart, close your hand. Open it in your partner's face. "Hadouken"

Eric Spence
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have an long-haired orange tabby cat that farts the fishiest fart bombs in the world. We have had dogs and their farts pale in comparison to his. He was right next to me about an hour or so ago and delivered one of his famous stink bombs. What adds insult to injury is that he has a bushy tail that fans it right in our faces. Ughhhhhh!

diane a
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

strange how your farts always reflect what you have been eating - potatos are the worst culprits

Load More Replies...
Phillip Moderow
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Trickydiarrhea": Diarrhea that tricks you into thinking "it's just gas". Heaven forbid ...

ThatJeremyKid
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex farted really loud in her sleep once, then sleep giggled about it...

Ian Bodey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is it that when someone on the telly Farts you can't stop laughing......

Grace Robertson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband used to blame our children a lot. That kind of stop when our kids began to talk and made him own up to it.

Zoomerang
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just tell her, "It's not the smell that bothers me, it's just that it burns my eyes."

Aubrie Allen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dude and I "fart toss." Who ever farts, we both try and grab it and throw it in the other person's face. It's so fun and hilarious. I love making farting a game instead of being embarrassed and having to sneak away to let one go.

Holly Hobby
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are in the Catastrophic phase. Also, we blame the car whether she is in the room or not

Brain-In-A-Vat
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'THE HOOTER' Step1, get out of bed. Step 2, leave the bedroom, BUT leave the door OPEN. Step 3, go to the bathroom/toilet, leave the door OPEN. Step 4, remove appropriate clothing and sit on the toilet. Step 5, 'Let It Go!!' the toilet bowl amplified sound will be magnificent . . .

Adriane Clermont
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I broke the fart barrier the first night I met my husband 🤣 I thought he was asleep and my lord it had to jave been the loudest thing to where come out of me! He started laughing so now it was my turn to pretend to be asleep. We've been together for 10 years married for 5 💖

Lisa Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many years ago my dad let one rip and blamed it on the dog. A moment later the dig was whining and clawing at the door to be let in the house. Dad's response, "Of course he wants in. As bad as it is in here, can you imagine what it's like out there?"

herpos derpos
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but i fart while i'm sleeping so i HAVE to do it the "a*****e way"...which is funny because I'm an a*****e even though i'm doing something bad while not even conscious so how can i be blamed for being an a*****e...besides you know...having something come out my a*s...but i'm unconscious...idk whatever if they mad they mad

Deborah Davis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I know is that you DO NOT fart when your wife is giving you a BJ. Isn’t that right, EX husband?!

Alasdair Wright
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such a hoot! I FART most times (NEVER admitting that I do! Might offend someone!?!?) in a variety of musically tuneful vibrations and noises

Mamatomypup Murphy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I've mastered it? Lactose in cows milk gives me so much gas that i can't digest and eating chicken seems to make the gas stinky. So there you go that's my theory....LOL 😂

Mamatomypup Murphy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I've conquered the no fart peaceful sleep. Lactose in cows milk gives me so much gas that I can't digest and chicken seems to make my farts stinky....So there you go I'm now watching what I eat....LOL!!

Kikka io
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

another "catastrophic way" is to get one out when the cooling fan is at your feet, and pushes the air in favor of her nose. especially when the dinner was of chili with beans

Oscar Jeong
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you shake it off outside, will you do it while you imagine the farting sound is a part of the music? If yes, will it be the symphony no.5 of Ludwig van Beethoven?

Alexandra Perry
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG! This is too funny! I have to admit, I have always been !#. I just can't let go in front of anyone no matter how long I have been with that person! Now, of course, there is nothing I can do about the ones that escape when I am asleep and so far no one has ever complained about those, so maybe I am in the clear! *L* Until I get older that is. My grandmother has told me the older you get the harder it is to hold it in. Grandpa just gave her a long slow dirty look when she told me that *L* I didn't press the subject any further after that.

Kim Lorton
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sitting here reading this, and dying laughing and gagging, as my dog is on my lap, and farting up a silent storm! I think I’m going to puke! It is almost comparable to the husband after he eats beans... except I can feed the hubby beano, and the dog? He’ll just ding something nasty in the yard to eat, and fart more!! UGHHHHHHH, 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Kim Lorton
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you can fart in freedom, and share the stinky laugh, and not die from the smell... you have the foundation for either a great friendship, or a lifelong love!

Gillian Black
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my late husband didn't know woman farted til he met me, his first wife must have done the run to the bathroom, and exs well who knows oh the relief

Shannon Moore
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always held it in for my ex...we lived together for 6 yrs. Now I can finally, just do it without any restraint #win

Ian Bodey
Community Member
6 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to play burglars when I Fart, I fart and she says what was that noise , I say it must be burglars she gets frightened and pulls the covers over her head and I just burst out laughing crying tears. She's not happy....

Jessie Gallagher
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Catastrophic way - the vibrations woke him up, then the smell hit. I slept straight through it.

SnowyLynx
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is too funny, but so true. People need to be aware of their odor and how it affects the other people around them

Ken Airhart
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex and I used to sleep with a fan on. Never had much of an issue

William Hartnell
Community Member
6 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happens to everyone and is ashamed of it's not worth it. I'm more concerned with the question and if you went with your companion to a restaurant, for example, or in a cafe and there was an incident. It is clear that your escort will support you, but still how to look into your eyes. By the way, excellent site https://escortbelohorizonte.info

Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Foul-smelling farts are a definite sign of liver problems. Look into this before it's too late.

diane a
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Foul smelling farts are a definite sign of what you ate the day before

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Lola
Community Member
6 years ago

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Never have and never will in front of people. Call me anything you want. I find it very disgusting. At least in my culture it is unheard of for a woman to do that.

SirWriteALot
Community Member
6 years ago

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you don't fart in front of your spouse. That's gross.

Lazy Panda
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don’t marry someone only to be so uptight and uneasy around them that you can never fart

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Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
6 years ago

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My partner's farts were so bad, I always feared that I will get brain tumor coz of them. I had to take the indirect blame many times when travelling or in tight public places. Then someone showed us the truth, opened our eyes to reality and we stopped eating beans!

Qothgaqume
Community Member
6 years ago

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hahaha good dicisioun. But if you're tired of your wife. Try this excellent service https://escorteilat.info . Meet with girls without obligations.

Qothgaqume
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This happens to everyone and is ashamed of it's not worth it. I'm more concerned with the question and if you went with your companion to a restaurant, for example, or in a cafe and there was an incident. It is clear that your escort will support you, but still how to look into your eyes. By the way, excellent site https://escortbelohorizonte.info

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