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Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.

However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.

When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.

#1

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

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A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“

And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.

But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.

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    #2

    Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

    Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

    Wiggles114 Report

    And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.

    Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.

    #3

    Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

    Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

    Ishihado Report

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    Meeple13
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish that green was wrong... this inequality is something that needs to be changed in the world.

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    #4

    Deserved It

    Deserved It

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    River Webb
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?

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    Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”

    #5

    See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

    See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

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    #6

    Say Her Name

    Say Her Name

    kashannkilson Report

    Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.

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    #7

    What Did You Do?

    What Did You Do?

    chiragtutlani Report

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    KJ
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a moronic comment from Goel, clearly doesn't know who he is critisising.

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    #8

    Science Is Hard

    Science Is Hard

    Genetikk-- Report

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    Meeple13
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just learned that IV drips contain a body-altering substance called 'vitamins'. All people who died had at some stage consumed vitamins. Never using IV drips again.

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    But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.

    #10

    The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

    The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

    The_vert Report

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    The Scout
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.

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    #11

    It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

    It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

    beerbellybegone Report

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    LuckyL
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I love most as an answer for this kind of questions is - so why do you wear glasses/pants/shoes - that's not how good created you

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    To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.

    #14

    Shoot Like A Girl

    Shoot Like A Girl

    ifallupthestairsalot Report

    #15

    I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

    I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

    Dank_Gun Report

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    River Webb
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks

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    #17

    There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

    There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

    beerbellybegone Report

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    River Webb
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"

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    #18

    Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

    Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

    DSKDG Report

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    #19

    Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

    Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

    Dank_Gun Report

    #20

    Reading Is For Suckers

    Reading Is For Suckers

    beerbellybegone Report

    #21

    When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

    When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

    TheNotSoFreshFeeling Report

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    Linda van der Pal
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...

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    #22

    What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

    What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

    beerbellybegone Report

    #24

    Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

    Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

    tiny_rick_tr Report

    #25

    Just Work Harder!

    Just Work Harder!

    beerbellybegone Report

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    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?

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    #26

    Don't Forget To Recycle

    Don't Forget To Recycle

    adamjohnsonnyc Report

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    #27

    Same Same, But Different

    Same Same, But Different

    beerbellybegone Report

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."

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    #29

    Shame On You, Crayola!

    Shame On You, Crayola!

    Crayola Report

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    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.

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    #30

    Parental Disparages

    Parental Disparages

    Miml-Sama Report

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.

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    #32

    The Misspell Just Perfects It

    The Misspell Just Perfects It

    Dartherizer59 Report

    #34

    Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

    Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

    beerbellybegone Report

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    #35

    Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

    Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

    beerbellybegone Report

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    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.

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    #36

    Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

    Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

    various_reflections Report

    #37

    Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

    Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

    drjengunter Report

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    MagicalUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing

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    #38

    Quitting 101

    Quitting 101

    TheNorthernMunky Report

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    KJ
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would love to see the boss explaining this to the shift leader.

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    #39

    Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

    Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

    Freezer12557 Report

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    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You wouldn't have cops that are jumpy and shooting first on the assumption that random traffic stops are cases where someone would pull a gun on them, IF GUNS WERE NOT GIVEN TO CITIZENS, you know, like normal countries?

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    #40

    Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

    Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

    VespasianTheMortal Report

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    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never seen a phrase so perfectly formulated to cause maximum damage and also compliment

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    #41

    Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

    Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

    brythax Report

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    Susan Green
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?

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    #42

    Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

    Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

    nhannahjones Report

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    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.

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    #43

    Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

    Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

    ackocher Report

    #44

    Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

    Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

    robmalcomson Report

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.

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    #45

    You Tell Him!

    You Tell Him!

    beerbellybegone Report

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    Axlemunshine 001
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)

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    #46

    Can't Find Anyone To Hire

    Can't Find Anyone To Hire

    chaposagrift Report

    #48

    Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

    Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

    bacchys1066 Report

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    Nathan Pogorzala
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.

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    #51

    At A Loss For Words On This One

    At A Loss For Words On This One

    beerbellybegone Report

    #52

    Homeless Doesn't Mean Without A Home, Apparently!

    Homeless Doesn't Mean Without A Home, Apparently!

    themacity Report

    #53

    From What I've Heard, Target Is Not A Good Place To Work

    From What I've Heard, Target Is Not A Good Place To Work

    Thedepressionoftrees Report

    #54

    It's Literally In The Name

    It's Literally In The Name

    zbumgardner Report

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    I I
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    imagine the good that 750billion could do , if we spent less trying to kill each other and more trying to help each other the world would be so much better

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    #56

    Tearing People Down Instead Of Building Them Up

    Tearing People Down Instead Of Building Them Up

    hollyrpeete Report

    #57

    Uno Reverse Card

    Uno Reverse Card

    FattyPatty42 Report

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    Candia Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister tried to do this with washing the dishes, but mom was smart and just made her wash them again.

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    #58

    Work Is More Important Than Family

    Work Is More Important Than Family

    beerbellybegone Report

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    I I
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol i had leave from my office bedroom so i could go to my kitchen and see my kids

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    #59

    No Sign Of Intelligent Life Anywhere

    No Sign Of Intelligent Life Anywhere

    mkgrdc Report

    #61

    Tolkien Says Stfu

    Tolkien Says Stfu

    Buelldozer Report

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    Otter
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's one of the things I love about LOTR, the fact that the final conflict with the One Ring is complex, and not a "fairy tale ending". (But yeah, Sam is the real hero of the War of the Ring.)

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    #62

    My Favorite Antivax Poem

    My Favorite Antivax Poem

    MaxAvery Report

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    Goth mouse (they/them)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are so many people comparing it to nazis??? in the history I learned they murdered people not vaccinated them against disease 😳

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    #63

    Attention Is A Hell Of A Drug

    Attention Is A Hell Of A Drug

    beerbellybegone Report

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    Axlemunshine 001
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plus you would only have succeeded to make life more difficult to a minimum wage worker, not teaching a life lesson to Sainsbury's CEO, that frankly, couldn't give a rat'ss ass about your opinion.

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    #64

    In A Video About Killing Pigs Mercifully At A Family Farm

    In A Video About Killing Pigs Mercifully At A Family Farm

    Rafdioactivo2574 Report

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    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the kind of life I would love to live one day. Being self sufficient, growing and raising my own food. I personally couldn't do the killing myself though. I would hire someone to do it or hubby can.

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    #66

    So Much Wrong Here, Where To Begin?

    So Much Wrong Here, Where To Begin?

    beerbellybegone Report

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where I live, it's illegal to discriminate your hiring based on gender. On top of fixing all the red flags in this post, don't be a sexist d**k.

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    #67

    Nabisco Wants You To Know They Care More About Your Cookie Dipping Habits Than Their Workers…

    Nabisco Wants You To Know They Care More About Your Cookie Dipping Habits Than Their Workers…

    justyouandme2014 Report

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, what we do with your product once we buy it is none of your business.

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    #68

    Own The Libs By Staying At Home

    Own The Libs By Staying At Home

    OverPaladiin Report

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    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, if you want to commit to extreme social distancing and zero human connection until COVID is eliminated, I suppose that is a choice. I'm not sure it's possible. But if you have absolutely no human interaction, I think I'm okay with you, alone in your cabin, not being vaccinated. You have no chance of catching the virus or passing it on.

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    #69

    You Can Be Whatever You Want On The Internet

    You Can Be Whatever You Want On The Internet

    beerbellybegone Report

    #72

    Redirection At Its Finest

    Redirection At Its Finest

    beerbellybegone Report

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    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It really sounds like gardening is the answer to this problem.

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    #73

    Ea Asks Users To Tell Them What Makes Them A Simmer, Gets A Brutally Honest Answer

    Ea Asks Users To Tell Them What Makes Them A Simmer, Gets A Brutally Honest Answer

    ral365 Report

    #74

    Thats Is A Great Goal

    Thats Is A Great Goal

    magimagi-W Report

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