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Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.

However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.

When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.

#1

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

beerbellybegone Report

A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“

And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.

But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.

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#2

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

Wiggles114 Report

And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.

Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.

#3

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

Ishihado Report

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Meeple13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish that green was wrong... this inequality is something that needs to be changed in the world.

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#4

Deserved It

Deserved It

BonSim Report

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River Webb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?

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Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”

#5

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

beerbellybegone Report

#6

Say Her Name

Say Her Name

kashannkilson Report

Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.

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#7

What Did You Do?

What Did You Do?

chiragtutlani Report

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KJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a moronic comment from Goel, clearly doesn't know who he is critisising.

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#8

Science Is Hard

Science Is Hard

Genetikk-- Report

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Meeple13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just learned that IV drips contain a body-altering substance called 'vitamins'. All people who died had at some stage consumed vitamins. Never using IV drips again.

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But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.

#10

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

The_vert Report

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The Scout
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.

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#11

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

beerbellybegone Report

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LuckyL
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I love most as an answer for this kind of questions is - so why do you wear glasses/pants/shoes - that's not how good created you

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To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.

#14

Shoot Like A Girl

Shoot Like A Girl

ifallupthestairsalot Report

#15

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

Dank_Gun Report

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River Webb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks

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#17

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

beerbellybegone Report

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River Webb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"

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#18

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

DSKDG Report

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#19

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

Dank_Gun Report

#20

Reading Is For Suckers

Reading Is For Suckers

beerbellybegone Report

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When the Church of 😈 is more ethical than Catholic churches...

Ray Heap
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The more I hear about the church of Satan, the more I like them. Hail Satan!

Dan Buczynski
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's an evangelical christian in their private jet!

Beta
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait a minute. Didnt the church of satan roast one of the other guys on a previous post?

Loty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can I convert my donut shop into "Church of the Holly Donut" and stop paying taxes?

Karis Ravenhill
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love these guys at the satanic church, every time they do or say something it's comedic gold with a beautiful slice of realistic truth for a topping.

Stephanie Esquivel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Church of Satan has been killing it lately with the witty comebacks. Kinda makes me want to join.

Shane S
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aww yay for the Church of Satan. Words I never thought I would say.

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@The Church of Satan, Micah is merely an example of the portion of the population that makes extreme statements like that with absolutely zero knowledge of the subject. To compound that, they don’t even try to fact-check themselves by looking the subject up beforehand. They would never have even thought to check your website, much less your FAQ page.

Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, it was started for trolling purposes. And has done a superb job over the years!

Glynn Reid
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Atheists don't believe in Satan. It's Christians who do that. Satan is part of the Christian narrative. Atheists utterly reject this narrative as complete nonsense.

Riley Quinn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Atheists pay their taxes, and most wish churches were also required to do the same. Ya know, that whole separation of church and state stuff those guys wrote about.

Sasha
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually thats church of the flying spaghetti monsters thing. Not existing solely for tax exemption that is, but illustrating how religious organization getting special privilege is bs. A man demanded he be allowed to wear a colander on his head for his drivers license as "religious headwear". He won btw.

Thomas E S Thomas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah. That's a picture of the Great God Bhal. He lived in Mesopotamia for seven hundred years. (BC 920s-200s). He and his fellow Ghisali fled Earth when the Roman Empire conquered Assyria.

Marcellus II
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So he's completely convinced, without any thought or looking up? Yeah, fits with all his other "opinions".

Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And a Christian never formed their own Church to get out of paying taxes. Wait! Damn you Henry VIII.

Rosie Hamilton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not exactly it. When Henry was made king he was short of money because he had fought lots of expensive wars. He knew the church had a lot of money so if he took over the church all of its treasury would be his. The monasteries were very rich and owned about a quarter of the land in the country. So Henry could close down the monasteries, take their money and sell the land. That way Henry could increase his power by building a stronger army and fight more wars. Plus, marrying Anne Boleyn, having an heir etc.

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Monday
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd say we're more anti-organized religion. People's faith and belief are their own business and I'm all for it, but organized religion is a money making business.

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Yort
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think churches should be tax exempt but under more scrutiny. I mean theoretically the only income the church gets goes to paying the pastor and to charitable works. So put these places under more scrutiny so we know they’re not giving the pastor $300,000 a year under the guise of charitable donations. Tax the rich.

Reynard
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They do if they perform any political activities - and last I checked, churches are all in on political activities.

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#21

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

TheNotSoFreshFeeling Report

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Linda van der Pal
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...

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#22

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

beerbellybegone Report

#24

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

tiny_rick_tr Report

#25

Just Work Harder!

Just Work Harder!

beerbellybegone Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?

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#26

Don't Forget To Recycle

Don't Forget To Recycle

adamjohnsonnyc Report

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#27

Same Same, But Different

Same Same, But Different

beerbellybegone Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."

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#29

Shame On You, Crayola!

Shame On You, Crayola!

Crayola Report

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Vorknkx
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.

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#30

Parental Disparages

Parental Disparages

Miml-Sama Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.

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#32

The Misspell Just Perfects It

The Misspell Just Perfects It

Dartherizer59 Report

#34

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

beerbellybegone Report

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#35

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

beerbellybegone Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.

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#36

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

various_reflections Report

#37

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

drjengunter Report

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MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing

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#38

Quitting 101

Quitting 101

TheNorthernMunky Report

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KJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to see the boss explaining this to the shift leader.

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#39

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

Freezer12557 Report

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ZAPanda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wouldn't have cops that are jumpy and shooting first on the assumption that random traffic stops are cases where someone would pull a gun on them, IF GUNS WERE NOT GIVEN TO CITIZENS, you know, like normal countries?

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#40

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

VespasianTheMortal Report

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Sum Guy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never seen a phrase so perfectly formulated to cause maximum damage and also compliment

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#41

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

brythax Report

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Susan Green
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?

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#42

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

nhannahjones Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.

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#43

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

ackocher Report

#44

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

robmalcomson Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.

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#45

You Tell Him!

You Tell Him!

beerbellybegone Report

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Axlemunshine 001
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)

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#46

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

chaposagrift Report

#48

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

bacchys1066 Report

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Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.

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#51

At A Loss For Words On This One

At A Loss For Words On This One

beerbellybegone Report

#52

Homeless Doesn't Mean Without A Home, Apparently!

Homeless Doesn't Mean Without A Home, Apparently!

themacity Report

#53

From What I've Heard, Target Is Not A Good Place To Work

From What I've Heard, Target Is Not A Good Place To Work

Thedepressionoftrees Report

#54

It's Literally In The Name

It's Literally In The Name

zbumgardner Report

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I I
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

imagine the good that 750billion could do , if we spent less trying to kill each other and more trying to help each other the world would be so much better

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#56

Tearing People Down Instead Of Building Them Up

Tearing People Down Instead Of Building Them Up

hollyrpeete Report

#57

Uno Reverse Card

Uno Reverse Card

FattyPatty42 Report

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Candia Lee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister tried to do this with washing the dishes, but mom was smart and just made her wash them again.

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#58

Work Is More Important Than Family

Work Is More Important Than Family

beerbellybegone Report

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I I
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol i had leave from my office bedroom so i could go to my kitchen and see my kids

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#59

No Sign Of Intelligent Life Anywhere

No Sign Of Intelligent Life Anywhere

mkgrdc Report

#61

Tolkien Says Stfu

Tolkien Says Stfu

Buelldozer Report

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's one of the things I love about LOTR, the fact that the final conflict with the One Ring is complex, and not a "fairy tale ending". (But yeah, Sam is the real hero of the War of the Ring.)

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#62

My Favorite Antivax Poem

My Favorite Antivax Poem

MaxAvery Report

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Goth mouse (they/them)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are so many people comparing it to nazis??? in the history I learned they murdered people not vaccinated them against disease 😳

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#63

Attention Is A Hell Of A Drug

Attention Is A Hell Of A Drug

beerbellybegone Report

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Axlemunshine 001
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus you would only have succeeded to make life more difficult to a minimum wage worker, not teaching a life lesson to Sainsbury's CEO, that frankly, couldn't give a rat'ss ass about your opinion.

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#64

In A Video About Killing Pigs Mercifully At A Family Farm

In A Video About Killing Pigs Mercifully At A Family Farm

Rafdioactivo2574 Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's the kind of life I would love to live one day. Being self sufficient, growing and raising my own food. I personally couldn't do the killing myself though. I would hire someone to do it or hubby can.

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#66

So Much Wrong Here, Where To Begin?

So Much Wrong Here, Where To Begin?

beerbellybegone Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where I live, it's illegal to discriminate your hiring based on gender. On top of fixing all the red flags in this post, don't be a sexist d**k.

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#67

Nabisco Wants You To Know They Care More About Your Cookie Dipping Habits Than Their Workers…

Nabisco Wants You To Know They Care More About Your Cookie Dipping Habits Than Their Workers…

justyouandme2014 Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, what we do with your product once we buy it is none of your business.

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#68

Own The Libs By Staying At Home

Own The Libs By Staying At Home

OverPaladiin Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if you want to commit to extreme social distancing and zero human connection until COVID is eliminated, I suppose that is a choice. I'm not sure it's possible. But if you have absolutely no human interaction, I think I'm okay with you, alone in your cabin, not being vaccinated. You have no chance of catching the virus or passing it on.

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#69

You Can Be Whatever You Want On The Internet

You Can Be Whatever You Want On The Internet

beerbellybegone Report

#72

Redirection At Its Finest

Redirection At Its Finest

beerbellybegone Report

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M O'Connell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It really sounds like gardening is the answer to this problem.

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#73

Ea Asks Users To Tell Them What Makes Them A Simmer, Gets A Brutally Honest Answer

Ea Asks Users To Tell Them What Makes Them A Simmer, Gets A Brutally Honest Answer

ral365 Report

#74

Thats Is A Great Goal

Thats Is A Great Goal

magimagi-W Report

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