ADVERTISEMENT

In the late 15th century, in the heart of Yemen, the first use of coffee as we know it was documented. It was used by Sufi monasteries and was to be imbibed as a form of spiritual intoxication. While its status as a symbol of wealth is, thankfully, long gone, the spiritual intoxication part remains. And you know what else, besides coffee, might give a person a certain spiritual intoxication? A pun! And what do you get when you mix these two ethereal things together? A coffee pun! And that’s exactly our topic of the day, so brew yourself a cup of moonless midnight and check out the beverage puns below.

As with anything in life, there are always two kinds of people - those who shower in the morning and those who shower at night. Then there are those who squirt ketchup straight on fries and the other kind who dip them. There, of course, are people that choose tea instead of coffee, but in our opinion, they just don’t know what they’re missing. Also, don’t forget the division between pun-lovers and pun-haters! A fierce competition of proving they’re right between those two! However, with our silly puns article, we hope to unite all these groups in one shared gale of laughter. Just a simple wish, truly.

Yet, if wishes were horses, I’d be drinking coffee now, so let’s just skip right to the cute puns here. The beans have already been spilled, so all you have to do now is check them out for yourself! As per usual, don’t forget to vote for the best coffee puns and share this article with your caffeinated compadres.

#1

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song?

Hit Me With your Best Shot!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
RELATED:
    #2

    What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you’ve been there before?

    Déja-brew.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #3

    What’s a coffee’s favorite spell?

    Espresso Patronum!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #4

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Why did the coffee call the police?

    Because it was mugged.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #5

    "Every morning I have a dangerous cup of coffee, but I make sure I have safe tea first."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #6

    "Someone stole my coffee cup from the office today, so I'm just on my way down to the police station to look at some mug shots."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #7

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What do you call a bear that makes coffee?

    A bearista.

    Report

    #8

    What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married?

    We’re meant to bean together!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    How did Henry VIII like his coffee?

    Decap.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #10

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee?

    Their friendship came to a bitter end.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #11

    How is divorce like espresso?

    It’s bitter and expensive.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #12

    A cup of coffee that gets up on the wrong side of the bed is called a despresso.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day How does Moses make coffee?

    He-brews it.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #14

    "My coffee tasted like mud this morning, but when I asked the barista why that may be she said it was only ground a few minutes ago."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #15

    The barista can be really rude sometimes: he doesn't have a filter.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #16

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

    A depresso.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #17

    What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee?

    I don’t know, but that’s certainly grounds for divorce!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #18

    What’s the highest-charting holiday Christmas song in U.S.?

    All I Want For Christmas Is Brew.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #19

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Why can’t you submit your work on time?

    Because you keep procaffeinating.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #20

    If you ever serve me a cold cup of coffee, I will be boiling mad!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #21

    "I have to get my daily cup of coffee in by whatever beans necessary."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #22

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The barista is always running late, he is constantly pressed for time.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #23

    When should you stop pouring milk into the coffee?

    Before it is too latte.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #24

    What do beans say to their Valentines?

    You keep me grounded.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #25

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s its favorite Bob Marley song?

    Don’t Worry, Be Frappé.

    Report

    #26

    Bullies who drink coffee are mean beans.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #27

    The first level of the coffee factory is called the ground floor.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #28

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "Where have you bean all my life?"

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #29

    "I’ve bean thinking of you a latte."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #30

    What did the coffees say before their night out?

    Let’s stir up some trouble!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #31

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Just like Ricky Martin, I'm livin' la vida mocha.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #32

    What did one coffee say to the other?

    Where ya bean?

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #33

    It’s hard to espresso my feelings for you.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #34

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I can’t fully espresso my excitement!"

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #35

    Avoid discussing coffee in a sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #36

    “Wake me up before you cocoa!”

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #37

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Rage Against the Espresso Machine.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #38

    The Polar Espresso.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #39

    Why was the java bean so worried?

    Because it said it had a latte problems at home.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #40

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day You affogato how much you loved me before.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #41

    You look fa-brew-lous today!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #42

    Watch me cream. Watch me nae nae.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #43

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s the best song of Taylor Swift?

    Look What You Mocha Do.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #44

    Discussions between two coffee amateurs can very quickly turn into a strong and heated debate.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #45

    After the French Revolution, Kings and Queens started only drinking decap coffee.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #46

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I was drinking my coffee in my slippers this morning, and I thought, I really must wash some mugs."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #47

    "I read that on average we spend more money on coffee than educating our children. How do we sleep at night?"

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #48

    "I met my soulmate at my local café, now we are a happy cup-le."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #49

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I read a book about the origin of lattes and cappuccinos the other day, but it was all froth and no substance."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #50

    "I won't be going back there, the barista roasted me for my poor coffee choice."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #51

    Where do birds go for coffee?

    The Nestcafe.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #52

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day We’re the perfect blend.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #53

    "I like you a latte."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #54

    Where you bean all my life?

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #55

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What did the coffee say to its date?

    "Hey there, hot stuff!"

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #56

    Thanks a latte for me being my friend.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #57

    How did the coffee show its love?

    It said, “Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me!”

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #58

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s the best Beatles’ song to play at a coffee shop?

    Latte Be!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #59

    The Smashing Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #60

    The Red Hot Coffee Peppers.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #61

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The Brothers Caramel Mocha.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #62

    Sometimes, you need to pretend that you are frappé.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #63

    Don't give a kangaroo a cup of coffee, it's already too jumpy!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #64

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Sorry I missed your birthday, better latte than never.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #65

    How are coffee beans like kids?

    They’re always getting grounded.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #66

    You’re steaming hot!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #67

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #68

    What do coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?

    Both are no good without cream!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #69

    “Excuse me while I kiss the chai.” – This Jimi Hendrix song is often misheard as “excuse me while I kiss this guy” – but what if it was about coffee instead?

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #70

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day That Thing You Brew!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #71

    He’s Just Not That Into Brew.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #72

    David Coffeefield.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #73

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The Lord of the Beans.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #74

    What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers?

    You mocha me crazy!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #75

    What did the coffee say about its late assignment?

    Better latte than never!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #76

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I had bean-ough of this pain."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #77

    "I wish it is easy to affogato the pain."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #78

    "I am frappé if I am with you."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #79

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Bean there, done that!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #80

    Hipsters love coffee but they always burn their tongues on them: they insist on drinking it before it is cool.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #81

    "I made a pot of coffee, espresso-ly for you."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #82

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Your face shines whenever you frappé.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #83

    My heart beats faster because of brew.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #84

    "I want to cream to the world, how much I love brew."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #85

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Brave Brew World by Aldous Huxley.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #86

    Why can’t you have a good lovelife?

    Because you don’t know how to espresso.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #87

    "I have my eye on you, coffee drinkers, you look ready to stir up trouble."

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #88

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Thanks a latte for being my friend.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #89

    Pardon my French roast.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #90

    Sending you a whole latte love.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #91

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day You mocha me very happy.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #92

    AC/Decaf.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #93

    Fleetwood Macchiato.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #94

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The X-Filters.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #95

    Pretty Little Lattes.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #96

    Coffee, the Vampire Slayer.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #97

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s up, brew?

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #98

    Hands up! You’re under a-roast.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #99

    You’re always brew-tiful.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #100

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Ariana Ground-de.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #101

    Roast-anne Park.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #102

    A Christmas Ca-roast by Charles Dicken.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #103

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Alright everyone, kettle down: it’s coffee time!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #104

    Al Cappuccino was the greatest criminal of all time.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #105

    You are mugnificent.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #106

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day We are cool beans.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #107

    For Whom The Bean Tolls.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #108

    The Count of Macchiato.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #109

    111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Shawn Blend-des.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #110

    Bottomless thanks!

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST
    #111

    Twin Perks.

    Report

    Add photo comments
    POST