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111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day

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In the late 15th century, in the heart of Yemen, the first use of coffee as we know it was documented. It was used by Sufi monasteries and was to be imbibed as a form of spiritual intoxication. While its status as a symbol of wealth is, thankfully, long gone, the spiritual intoxication part remains. And you know what else, besides coffee, might give a person a certain spiritual intoxication? A pun! And what do you get when you mix these two ethereal things together? A coffee pun! And that’s exactly our topic of the day, so brew yourself a cup of moonless midnight and check out the beverage puns below.

As with anything in life, there are always two kinds of people - those who shower in the morning and those who shower at night. Then there are those who squirt ketchup straight on fries and the other kind who dip them. There, of course, are people that choose tea instead of coffee, but in our opinion, they just don’t know what they’re missing. Also, don’t forget the division between pun-lovers and pun-haters! A fierce competition of proving they’re right between those two! However, with our silly puns article, we hope to unite all these groups in one shared gale of laughter. Just a simple wish, truly.

Yet, if wishes were horses, I’d be drinking coffee now, so let’s just skip right to the cute puns here. The beans have already been spilled, so all you have to do now is check them out for yourself! As per usual, don’t forget to vote for the best coffee puns and share this article with your caffeinated compadres.

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#1

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song?

Hit Me With your Best Shot!

21points

#2

What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you’ve been there before?

Déja-brew.

21points

#3

What’s a coffee’s favorite spell?

Espresso Patronum!

20points

#4

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Why did the coffee call the police?

Because it was mugged.

19points

#5

"Every morning I have a dangerous cup of coffee, but I make sure I have safe tea first."

18points

#6

"Someone stole my coffee cup from the office today, so I'm just on my way down to the police station to look at some mug shots."

18points

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#7

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What do you call a bear that makes coffee?

A bearista.

17points

#8

What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married?

We’re meant to bean together!

16points

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#9

How did Henry VIII like his coffee?

Decap.

16points

#10

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee?

Their friendship came to a bitter end.

16points

#11

How is divorce like espresso?

It’s bitter and expensive.

16points

#12

A cup of coffee that gets up on the wrong side of the bed is called a despresso.

16points

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#13

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day How does Moses make coffee?

He-brews it.

15points

#14

"My coffee tasted like mud this morning, but when I asked the barista why that may be she said it was only ground a few minutes ago."

15points

#15

The barista can be really rude sometimes: he doesn't have a filter.

15points

#16

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

A depresso.

14points

#17

What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee?

I don’t know, but that’s certainly grounds for divorce!

14points

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#18

What’s the highest-charting holiday Christmas song in U.S.?

All I Want For Christmas Is Brew.

14points

#19

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Why can’t you submit your work on time?

Because you keep procaffeinating.

14points

#20

If you ever serve me a cold cup of coffee, I will be boiling mad!

14points

#21

"I have to get my daily cup of coffee in by whatever beans necessary."

14points

#22

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The barista is always running late, he is constantly pressed for time.

14points

#23

When should you stop pouring milk into the coffee?

Before it is too latte.

14points

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#24

What do beans say to their Valentines?

You keep me grounded.

13points

#25

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s its favorite Bob Marley song?

Don’t Worry, Be Frappé.

13points

#26

Bullies who drink coffee are mean beans.

13points

#27

The first level of the coffee factory is called the ground floor.

13points

#28

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "Where have you bean all my life?"

12points

#29

"I’ve bean thinking of you a latte."

12points

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#30

What did the coffees say before their night out?

Let’s stir up some trouble!

12points

#31

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Just like Ricky Martin, I'm livin' la vida mocha.

12points

#32

What did one coffee say to the other?

Where ya bean?

12points

#33

It’s hard to espresso my feelings for you.

11points

#34

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I can’t fully espresso my excitement!"

11points

#35

Avoid discussing coffee in a sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.

11points

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#36

“Wake me up before you cocoa!”

11points

#37

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Rage Against the Espresso Machine.

11points

#38

The Polar Espresso.

11points

#39

Why was the java bean so worried?

Because it said it had a latte problems at home.

11points

#40

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day You affogato how much you loved me before.

11points

#41

You look fa-brew-lous today!

11points

#42

Watch me cream. Watch me nae nae.

11points

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#43

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s the best song of Taylor Swift?

Look What You Mocha Do.

11points

#44

Discussions between two coffee amateurs can very quickly turn into a strong and heated debate.

11points

#45

After the French Revolution, Kings and Queens started only drinking decap coffee.

11points

#46

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I was drinking my coffee in my slippers this morning, and I thought, I really must wash some mugs."

11points

#47

"I read that on average we spend more money on coffee than educating our children. How do we sleep at night?"

11points

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#48

"I met my soulmate at my local café, now we are a happy cup-le."

11points

#49

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I read a book about the origin of lattes and cappuccinos the other day, but it was all froth and no substance."

11points

#50

"I won't be going back there, the barista roasted me for my poor coffee choice."

11points

#51

Where do birds go for coffee?

The Nestcafe.

11points

#52

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day We’re the perfect blend.

10points

#53

"I like you a latte."

10points

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#54

Where you bean all my life?

10points

#55

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What did the coffee say to its date?

"Hey there, hot stuff!"

10points

#56

Thanks a latte for me being my friend.

10points

#57

How did the coffee show its love?

It said, “Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me!”

10points

#58

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s the best Beatles’ song to play at a coffee shop?

Latte Be!

10points

#59

The Smashing Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

10points

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#60

The Red Hot Coffee Peppers.

10points

#61

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The Brothers Caramel Mocha.

10points

#62

Sometimes, you need to pretend that you are frappé.

10points

#63

Don't give a kangaroo a cup of coffee, it's already too jumpy!

10points

#64

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Sorry I missed your birthday, better latte than never.

10points

#65

How are coffee beans like kids?

They’re always getting grounded.

10points

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#66

You’re steaming hot!

9points

#67

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.

9points

#68

What do coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?

Both are no good without cream!

9points

#69

“Excuse me while I kiss the chai.” – This Jimi Hendrix song is often misheard as “excuse me while I kiss this guy” – but what if it was about coffee instead?

9points

#70

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day That Thing You Brew!

9points

#71

He’s Just Not That Into Brew.

9points

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#72

David Coffeefield.

9points

#73

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The Lord of the Beans.

9points

#74

What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers?

You mocha me crazy!

9points

#75

What did the coffee say about its late assignment?

Better latte than never!

9points

#76

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day "I had bean-ough of this pain."

9points

#77

"I wish it is easy to affogato the pain."

9points

#78

"I am frappé if I am with you."

9points

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#79

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Bean there, done that!

9points

#80

Hipsters love coffee but they always burn their tongues on them: they insist on drinking it before it is cool.

9points

#81

"I made a pot of coffee, espresso-ly for you."

8points

#82

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Your face shines whenever you frappé.

8points

#83

My heart beats faster because of brew.

8points

#84

"I want to cream to the world, how much I love brew."

8points

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#85

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Brave Brew World by Aldous Huxley.

8points

#86

Why can’t you have a good lovelife?

Because you don’t know how to espresso.

8points

#87

"I have my eye on you, coffee drinkers, you look ready to stir up trouble."

8points

#88

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Thanks a latte for being my friend.

8points

#89

Pardon my French roast.

8points

#90

Sending you a whole latte love.

7points

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#91

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day You mocha me very happy.

7points

#92

AC/Decaf.

7points

#93

Fleetwood Macchiato.

7points

#94

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day The X-Filters.

7points

#95

Pretty Little Lattes.

7points

#96

Coffee, the Vampire Slayer.

7points

#97

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day What’s up, brew?

7points

#98

Hands up! You’re under a-roast.

7points

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#99

You’re always brew-tiful.

7points

#100

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Ariana Ground-de.

7points

#101

Roast-anne Park.

7points

#102

A Christmas Ca-roast by Charles Dicken.

7points

#103

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Alright everyone, kettle down: it’s coffee time!

7points

#104

Al Cappuccino was the greatest criminal of all time.

7points

#105

You are mugnificent.

7points

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#106

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day We are cool beans.

6points

#107

For Whom The Bean Tolls.

6points

#108

The Count of Macchiato.

6points

#109

111 Coffee Puns That Might Brighten Your Day Shawn Blend-des.

6points

#110

Bottomless thanks!

5points

#111

Twin Perks.

5points

Aivaras Kaziukonis

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

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