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Mother Left ‘Lost’ And ‘Heartbroken’ When Daughter’s Newborn Is Dressed In A Designer Outfit Instead Of Her Handmade Set
Has anyone ever asked you for a favor and, in the moment, you felt like Captain Ahab, having you and your imaginary crew split their backs for them, working super hard, putting all of your effort into it, sweat running down your brow…
…only for them to go like “no need, thanks for the effort” a little while later?
This feeling is amplified ten times in today’s story, when a daughter asked her mom to knit custom clothes for her granddaughter’s departure from the maternity ward, only to not even put them on.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
It’s difficult not to be mad when someone asks for a specific gift and then goes on to never use it, especially if it’s something you made
Image credits: grauliflower (not the actual photo)
The poster wanted to know if she’s a jerk for being upset at her daughter not clothing her newborn in her hand-knit clothes
Image credits: Remarkable_Sea_4546
Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)
The mom would knit the clothes for all of her grandkids, but would never force them and would have her kids ask for them to be made
Image credits: Remarkable_Sea_4546
The daughter announced her pregnancy and requested baby clothes specifically for the occasion of them leaving the maternity ward
Image credits: Remarkable_Sea_4546
Image credits: shirley binn (not the actual photo)
When it was time to go home with the newborn, her daughter decided to clothe the baby in expensive brand clothes, rather than mom’s handmades
Image credits: Remarkable_Sea_4546
Mom vented about the whole thing to her son, but when word reached the daughter, the family was split
The original poster (OP) of this story is a heartbroken mom with a passion for knitting. With 4 kids and 5 grandkids, she’s created a really cute tradition with all of them – she makes custom clothes for them when they leave the maternity ward.
It takes the mom a considerable amount of time to do it and she always puts her heart into it, as well as using colors with a specific meaning in their culture.
Her oldest daughter announced that she was pregnant and asked if the mom could knit her granddaughter-to-be a set.
Mom lovingly abided, but had her heart shattered when her daughter and granddaughter left the maternity ward in expensive brand clothes (think something like Gucci, she mentions), instead of the mom’s handmade clothes and hat which were her best work yet.
Mind you, she didn’t mention any of this to her daughter, only confiding it to her son that she was sad about it, but word somehow got out and soon the family was divided.
Some people speculated that she put those clothes on because the father’s family had gifted them to her and the daughter wanted to appease them. At the same time, she had asked for mom to make the clothes specifically for the occasion of leaving the maternity ward.
Image credits: Burst (not the actual photo)
If you’re as clueless about babies as I am, you may be wondering why these clothes are so important. In the first place, I thought that babies are swaddled when they leave the hospital.
Turns out I was very wrong, as corrected by my very dear mother who I had the chance to interview with the help of Bored Panda (for who else would I trust to answer questions about babies)!
According to my mom and corroborated by online sources, it’s not recommended to swaddle babies entirely. Loose sheets of blankets may present a choking hazard and swaddling them too hard can lead to a whole host of issues from overheating to chest infections.
Therefore, moms can buy sets of clothes for their newborns from specialized stores, as babies’ skin is very sensitive and even absorbs harmful chemicals easily, so these clothes are made from fabrics that are sure to be safe. Then with these clothes, they can dress their newborns and leave the maternity wards in about a week, depending on the mom’s and her infant’s health.
Babies also have difficulties regulating temperature, so these clothes help them do just that. You, just like babies, aren’t likely to walk out of the hospital wearing only your undies, right? Unless you’re a movie protagonist.
For what it’s worth, my mom emphasized that people who care about brands and clothes in general would choose the expensive clothes, while more sentimental peeps will definitely go for the handmade ones.
So there you have it – the definitive answer to this story. Just kidding. Mostly.
Thank you, mom!
Image credits: Lisa Risager (not the actual photo)
To get another opinion from a renowned expert knitter, we also reached out to Norman, owner of the Nimble Needles blog educating people about knitting and dazzling them at the same time with his custom-made sweaters, shawls, gloves, and even decorative mushrooms and pumpkins which I’m just dying for.
Norman has also had experiences when people didn’t appreciate his hard work and has things to say about it.
“I personally think it’s even more hurtful when people accept an item you’ve poured your love into with no intention ever to wear it. And then it will just gather dust in a closet – never to be worn.”
He mentions that it’s just as bad when gift recipients put a beautiful, hand wash-only item into the washing machine and the knitter’s hard work turns into an “unsightly felt rag.” Both have happened to him and felt devastating.
The only thing a knitter or someone who makes handmade gifts can do in the end is move on and cross the offenders off the list of people who may receive beautiful one-of-a-kind handmade gifts.
Norman says that if you dwell on it too much, it could destroy your love for the craft. “I would be very careful to give the opinion of anyone else that much power over my hobby and my joy,” he adds.
Image credits: nimbleneedlez (not the actual photo)
Knitting, like any other hobby, has various superstitions, but Norman isn’t one for them. He says that if you believe something too strongly, you’re liable to guide your actions in that very direction, reinforcing your beliefs.
Rather than superstitions, he’d like to address several myths about knitting.
“Knitting is not hard. Millions around the world learned the craft, and so can you.” He goes on to say that it’s not a hobby “for grannies” either. It’s very relaxing, allowing people to make their own made-to-measure wardrobes, as there is so much more to knit than doilies and shawls.
It also has the benefit of allowing knitters to make their own choices and select more sustainable materials in our world of fast fashion.
If all of this talk about knitting has got you interested, Norman has some tips.
You should start with something small and simple, like a coaster or a potholder and increase the difficulty one step at a time. He knows that you may be dying to knit that beautiful sweater or sock right away, “but nothing is more frustrating than wanting to knit something and not even being able to make sense of the instruction. You don’t start learning English by reading Shakespeare sonnets, either.”
If you would like to see more of Norman’s work, make sure to visit his website or even his YouTube or Instagram page.
The original post got more than 11k upvotes and 1.8k comments. The community judged mom not to be a jerk, saying that the daughter simply shouldn’t have asked for the clothes if she was going to dress the baby in expensive brand clothes instead.
Share your thoughts below!
The community judged mom not to be a jerk, primarily because of the fact that the daughter had asked for the clothes for that occasion
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What do you think ?
howdylee 1 year ago
Maybe the daughter was surprised with the designer outfit and guilted into using that one instead ("we spent so much money, you HAVE to use this one.")
Tiffany Southcott 1 year ago
I agree, but the mom is still NTA she's allowed to have feelings and feel the way she feels. If anyone is TA it would be the son for spreading it around.
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tabithapaquette98 1 year ago
I understand the new mom went through a lot, but she specifically asked her mom to make the going home outfit. I took her months. She vented to her son because she didn't want to upset new mom. Son should have kept his mouth shut. NTA
ThisIsMe 1 year ago
I think you handled the situation at the hospital with grace and sensitivity. But you were hurt, and understandably so. If you spoke to your son in confidence, then he was wrong to share that further, although he could have spoken directly with Pam to let her know that you had been hurt and it would be the right thing to come to you and explain. If you did not speak to your son with the expectation of it being kept between you, well that sounds like something that goes on with my husband's family a lot - ask that something be kept secret with the expectation that they will be the ones to go tell, ie. do the dirty work for you. I don't know you, so I'm not going to judge that. But the right thing to do now is for you and Pam to discuss what happened and why, and let others mind their own business.
howdylee 1 year ago
Maybe the daughter was surprised with the designer outfit and guilted into using that one instead ("we spent so much money, you HAVE to use this one.")
Tiffany Southcott 1 year ago
I agree, but the mom is still NTA she's allowed to have feelings and feel the way she feels. If anyone is TA it would be the son for spreading it around.
Load More Replies... tabithapaquette98 1 year ago
I understand the new mom went through a lot, but she specifically asked her mom to make the going home outfit. I took her months. She vented to her son because she didn't want to upset new mom. Son should have kept his mouth shut. NTA
ThisIsMe 1 year ago
I think you handled the situation at the hospital with grace and sensitivity. But you were hurt, and understandably so. If you spoke to your son in confidence, then he was wrong to share that further, although he could have spoken directly with Pam to let her know that you had been hurt and it would be the right thing to come to you and explain. If you did not speak to your son with the expectation of it being kept between you, well that sounds like something that goes on with my husband's family a lot - ask that something be kept secret with the expectation that they will be the ones to go tell, ie. do the dirty work for you. I don't know you, so I'm not going to judge that. But the right thing to do now is for you and Pam to discuss what happened and why, and let others mind their own business.
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