Murder most fowl

I hope their grandpa went viral and got his wish

Yes please!

Their tongue is long and wraps around it's brain to protect it during high speed pecking..

Coincidence? Hmm.

Sadly, OP would have smelt of horse, not corpses.

My cat does weigh 300 kilos but only in one paw at a time while stepping on me at night

I have never heard this song. Maybe that's why I'm such a mess. 😆

Damn, this is true.

Yes!!!

*bats 25 mangoes under the sofa*

this kid will grow up to be the class clown

Tinsnip got it right.

This makes me happy! Next thing will be a potato farm.

Butterflies use chrysalis. Moths use cocoons. Just saying.

Eye laughed at this! 🤓

Yes!!!!!

Serves them right. They probably still have crickets in their home.

Well done. For those not familiar with champagne: The French are very protective of that word. Only sparkling wine from that exact region is allowed to carry the word "champagne" on the bottle. For every other wine with bubbles "sparkling wine" has to be used. Or Crémant. Edit: The Crémant part is incorrect, explanation see below. Reason for mistake: I was lazy.

Great puns, but he pun on the crow post is still the best.

Ooooh, it had to happen somewhere.

Black hole's name is Maude and she sees the sandwich in your hand

The answer to this problem was to let us include publication cost in proposal budgets. Just now being added - clean up and disposal costs for the project. Next up - accepting the fact that grad students *are* part of the cost of conducting research. NSF and NIH continue to leave them off the budget template as if they are not.

Food for thought.

YES!

What a beauty.

Don’t nag OP. They’re under pressure.

I worked with a paramedic in the 90s who always replied "dressed and vertical". There are many days in my life now where I use it because sometimes that's a major accomplishment.

I guffawed at this. Derp

Figaro!

Oh, I would have so many good ideas if this happened to me!

Well thankfully there's a vacuum.

Meter readers should be called power rangers, not electricians.

I, a professionally trained military photographer, forgot the word 'shutter' and called it the camera's 'blinky eye.' Thankfully, it was in front of my father and he only laughs at me for it all the time.

Screw that. Be an exel god and make them beg for your help. Bwahahaha

I wouldn't overlook him.

I would absolutely boop the murder baby

Awww. Lil spider friend

I NEED THIS!!

Sounds like a certain Panda I know.

And what about scale, a musical collection of notes,?

*cute ominous drums beating*

You then find out that he stole it to examine it for clues that lead to a large cave filled with historical artifacts and treasure.

Why don't polar bears eat penguins? They can't get the silver paper off...

I like to think its more "We are finally as far away from the bears as we possibly can."

Originally there were many different tribes living in the current Germany: Teutonen (the "Teut'schen - Deutschen/Deutschland), Normannen, Alemannia, Sachsen, Germanen) in the differrnt countries different tribes are the reason why there are so different names

To be fair there are a lot of really freaky mutations in real life too. They're just not usually fun ones like XMen style mutations.

Angriest octopus 🐙

Ice cream cones, or maracas?