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Crafting a snappy and witty comeback that’ll grab everyone’s attention is no easy feat. However, all that effort and comedic instinct are worth it—if it’s on the internet, it might just live on in the digital hall of fame in screenshot form. Who knows, you might see peeps sharing your comeback for years and years. Ego boost? Yes, please!

One place where these legendary testaments to people’s wit are documented is the ‘Clever Comebacks’ page on Twitter. Having been founded just a few short months ago, in February, it’s grown to have nearly 67k followers since then.

We’ve collected the crème de la crème of clever comebacks for you to enjoy, dear Pandas, so go on and have a look at them below. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to greatness the next time you need a snappy one-liner. Don’t forget to upvote the ones you enjoyed the most and let us know what the very best comeback you’ve ever said or written was in the comments.

I reached out to British musical stand-up comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine to talk to her about comebacks, the role that courage plays in comedy, and how we can overcome our fear of being judged whether on-stage or on-screen. Have a read below for Bored Panda's interview with the humor expert.

#1

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Kira Okah
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are only three companies in the USA that are allowed, by government regulation, to produce insulin. Talk to your government.

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"Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."

According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.

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The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it. 

"We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.

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Chris Wade
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.

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Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"

Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.

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Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.

#13

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Ryan Deschanel
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.

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Ben Moss
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus f*****g christ what idiot still doesnt understand that vaccines STRENGTHEN the immune system? Who honestly thinks that training your army makes it weaker?

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However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.

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Lisa
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know the bible never mentions the word, "Apple." Early Christian art depicted it as a fig. They believe Apple came into play because when translated "malum" means evil and "malus" is apple.

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“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.

Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.

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CatWoman312
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate how you can’t comment on people down arrowed. Anyway, to the sexist guys who only seem to care about embryos not actual living babies “no uterus, no opinion”

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Sum Guy
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think we have peaked with this comeback... I don't see a better one coming up

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cybermerlin2000
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19

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If you feel like you’re not up to snuff, you really should draw on others for inspiration when it comes to good comedy. Whether it’s reading through tons of screenshots of clever comebacks that you find on the net or watching reruns of your favorite comedians (both are great).

However, British comedy pro Ariane pointed out that you shouldn’t be stealing original stand-up material for your own shows. It’s fine if you’re doing it to impress your friends, but there’s a certain code of honor that pops up when you start earning money for your jokes.

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Mark Schilling
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's a radical thought: maybe being concerned for the greater good is beneficial for the individual. We live in a society, not in isolated cells.

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Sum Guy
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's easier to run a negative story than a positive story

Bama Belle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's called negativity bias. Our brains are still wired to pay better attention to bad news. It used to keep our ancestors alive. Now, it just gets in our way.

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Linus Nilsson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I the only one that reads the CNN headline the exact same way as the "comeback"? It is really enforcing the smallness of the number.

KellyO
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

5800 people became infected because no one said it's 100% effective you fu**ing troll! 99.993% of something is still better than 100% of nothing. idiots.

Kiem Gallagher
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People are completely misunderstanding the "efficacy" part, it isn't about NOT getting infected... it's about NOT dying from the virus. So, we KNOW even vaccinated we can become infected but we've armed our immune system to fight the infection so we may be asymptomatic or experience mild to moderate symptoms. It's 90+% effective IN KEEPING YOU OUT OF THE ICU AND ALIVE!

The Cute Cat
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All vaccine is just like that.. You still could sick by the disease.. But, you will not having the severe level of sickness

soni w
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The point of a vaccine is so you don't. If you get sick with it you can still pass it on. Completely defeats the PURPOSE of the vaccine. FFS don't you fools know anything? "Oh yeah I had the vaccine, but I can still get covid and I can still pass it on!" Yep, that makes me feel safe. We're all in together, yeah, nah were not.

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Elizabeth Molloy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The vaccine doesn't prevent one catching Covid-19; it prevents one DYING from it.

soni w
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of countries have given the vaccine to a huge part of the population, and yet thier covid numbers are growing, and people are still dying. In a few years time we will reflect on either the good or the harm that has come off this. From the start this whole covid issue has smacked of corporations taking advantage of this terrible time. It's only local and small business that have failed worldwide, while big corp has made a ton of money. Why would the pharma industry be any different? They make a killing on people being unwell. How many types of vaccine? So few companies and it Is Not Free. We will all across the world be paying for this. Not one GVT a has yet said how we will, as the taxpayer foot this massive bill for all the govt assistance we've had during covid Ooh ouch! It's gonna hurt

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Mazer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is exactly why I will be wearing a mask for the rest of this year even though I’m 100% vaccinated

Frozengeckolover
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As with any virus, you can still spread it without catching it. I work with autistic anti-vaxxers, who sneeze on me, constantly put their fingers in their mouth and up their nose (and sometimes MY nose), and occasionally lick random things in public places (This is not a slam on autistic people. I'm not saying that all autistic people do these things. My job is to work with the individuals who need help with certain behaviors). I will totally be wearing a mask until the virus is under control. Even though I'm vaccinated, I could still infect people.

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Mark Schilling
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, as Bill Maher just found out, you can be fully vaccinated and still get sick. But most won't and those who do won't die.

Karin Jansen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"... And out of the 5,800 infected no one died or had to be hospitalized, as the fact that you can still contract the virus doesn't mitigate the immune response boosted by the vaccin."

Lisa
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only a few people in my station got the vaccine, I have my 2nd shot next week. Most people are afraid because of the Johnson & Johnson, they tell me this while vaping and smoking.

Gwen Parker
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah CNN is just reinforcing the efficacy of the vaccine. 5,800 out of TENS of MILLIONS of vaccinated people is a VERY small percentage. I guess math and fact-checking aren't their forte.

soni w
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. Untill it's your vaccinated kid that passes it onto your sick grandmother that hasn't had the shot cause she's prone to blood clots, that you ASSUMED would be safe because you have had the Vax. See the dangerous level of complacency in that?

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fRozen_lava
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Headlines' main goal is to put questions on your mind in order for you to click/read the whole article. Click bait? yes.

Felipe Jourdan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

5,800 people have been infected up until now, doesn’t mean everyone who has been vaccinated has been exposed to the virus

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just like how a woman's fertility decreases by 50% after 35. The real number is like 2.4% VS 1.2%

Ingrid
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It takes a bit of time for immunity to develop after the vaccination, so you can still catch the disease before that happens.

soni w
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And astra at 67%. They don't yet know if you can still catch and pass on covid, or if the mutation rate accelerates with the vaccine. So much unknown and people are jumping to get it. There is nowhere near enough info yet to make an informed decision.

Frozengeckolover
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Condoms don't protect you 100% against STDs or pregnancy, but I'm still going to use them. Eating healthy does not guarantee a long life, but I'm still going to eat vegetables. Taking self-defense classes doesn't mean I will never be attacked, but I still go to the classes. Wearing a seatbelt doesn't mean I will never die in a car accident, but I still wear it. I could still get infected after taking the vaccine, but I got vaccinated as soon as I could.

Oli R
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

sissy piny
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not getting vaccinated, but if I HAD to choose it'd be the Johnson.

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Ariane told Bored Panda something that most people know but few voice aloud: it’s very clear to everybody when a comeback is good and when it’s so bad, you’ll be remembering it and cringing for years. We instinctively know what’s quality and what’s best left on the dusty lower shelf in the joke store.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He could have also used $30 million to built houses to fight homelessness.

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“It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” the stand-up comedian listed all the things that a comeback needs in order to grab our attention and make us laugh.

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Kira Okah
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thing about Superman is that he wants to help and get people working together, so they can't do an edgy dark gritty reboot of him. He's too nice and not broody enough.

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Watching
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all saw a video of trumps "peaceful protesters" that was released yesterday, showing them trying to murder a different cup and Brian Sicknick on January 6. I am truly disgusted.

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Something
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In order for these people to be satisfied, the vaccine would have to make people immortal.

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Ozacoter
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually this is something that is barely talked about. For example how it affects academic performance.

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WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can slam the anti-vaxxers with logic, facts and figures all you want. It's just as useless as telling toddler Trump and his followers that he lost the elections fair and square.

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James016
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cartel wonders why people who are paid slave wages can't buy their criminally overpriced products.

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Chris Wade
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What?! You cut off the comeback! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/d9uf56l/?context=1

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Her Highness, Duke of Qin
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like all lil nas songs even montero but those shoes bro...who ever gave him the idea?

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