Join the Fun!

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

794points

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varwenea 3 years ago

That's a sick burn. Hope he got bonus points for that answer.

264points

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

786points

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IFXO 3 years ago

OML

112points

"Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."

According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

730points

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Sum Guy 3 years ago

We saw the man kill a man on TV. f**k if the trial wasn't fair

232points

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

729points

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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

The student is not wrong. See what education does?

203points

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

697points

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Sum Guy 3 years ago

People should really start taking those Grammarly adverts seriously.

87points

The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it.

"We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

692points

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Kesam 3 years ago

Agree but disagree. Everyone should do their part.

143points

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

685points

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Chris Wade 3 years ago

In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.

54points

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

670points

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troufaki13 3 years ago

And the will to live

206points

Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"

#10

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

632points

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Nat Hedley 3 years ago

(You could text in the 90s though).

66points

#11

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

622points

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troufaki13 3 years ago

I prefer dad bods, but everyone has a preference :)

83points

#12

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

612points

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If I could I would live under water 3 years ago

I love this one :D

47points

Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.

Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.

#13

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

599points

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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.

16points

#14

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

594points

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Linda Cowley, auntriarch 3 years ago

Ouchy McOuchface!

127points

#15

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

570points

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Ben Moss 3 years ago

Jesus f*****g christ what idiot still doesnt understand that vaccines STRENGTHEN the immune system? Who honestly thinks that training your army makes it weaker?

268points

However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.

#16

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

569points

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Sheila Stamey 3 years ago

Oh that's a good one.

45points

#17

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

561points

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Lisa 3 years ago

You know the bible never mentions the word, "Apple." Early Christian art depicted it as a fig. They believe Apple came into play because when translated "malum" means evil and "malus" is apple.

40points

#18

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

532points

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Premislaus de Colo 3 years ago

I absolutely love the insult

89points

“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.

#19

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

530points

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crazy_cat_notAlady 3 years ago

burrrrrrrrrrrrrn

84points

#20

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

504points

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James016 3 years ago

We drink the t.

148points

#21

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

502points

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infinite upvote 3 years ago

Lol Ryan doesnt know about corporate tax breaks

48points

Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.

#22

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

477points

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CatWoman312 3 years ago (edited)

I hate how you can’t comment on people down arrowed. Anyway, to the sexist guys who only seem to care about embryos not actual living babies “no uterus, no opinion”

73points

Mark Schilling 3 years ago

Yeah that's a pet peeve of mine too (the lack of reply function, that is). They also often disappear so I have no idea who you're referring to. Yours is the only comment I'm seeing.

33points

May 3 years ago

I cant see the comments you're referring to, but everyone has a right to an opinion. I'm pro choice - absolutely. Nobody should be made to have kids they don't want, and I feel bad for women who live in countries where the right to choose is in question. But men have a right to be heard (not to make decisions about women's bodies). They have feelings too, and if they wanted the potential child that was aborted, I'm sure that must be painful.

13points

Matheus Oliveira 3 years ago

How about non-sexist men who wish to help women on making a healthy decision? I think the criterion for a good discussion on this is a humanitarian one, not whether someone has an uterus...

9points

TrashPandaSociety 3 years ago

My body, my choice. Period.

2points

Nikki Sevven 3 years ago

Existing human beings have rights. You cannot force women to give up their rights for a collection of cells that might, if everything goes exactly right, become a human being. If you do force women, and they die from pregnancy or delivery complications, then you've committed murder.

9points

Black Karen 3 years ago

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Oliver Parker 3 years ago

just so you know they usually want an abortion after being raped

7points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Or after accidentally getting pregnant from amazing sex. It doesn’t matter why we get pregnant. Just that we shouldn’t be forced to keep the pregnancy.

12points

Booklover378 3 years ago

Listen I am pro choice, abortion is only legal in the first 12 weeks (I think) and at that stage the fetus has just started developing and has no thoughts or emotions. It is just a cluster of cells and terminating it inst actually causing it any harm and might be saving it from a difficult future.

6points

Black Karen 3 years ago

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elfin 3 years ago

Also make sure that contraceptives are widely and cheaply available.

5points

‍ 3 years ago

I'm pro-bacon.

4points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

So anti-choice for pigs then.

3points

Signe Manat Hansen 2 years ago

Be aware that Ryan Deschanel is a terrible person who should have been aborted to the benefit of everyone :)

2points

Christel Nellemann 3 years ago

No contraceptive is a 100% functional, not the Pill, not IUD’s, certainly not condoms. And trying to forbid sexual intercourse/abstinense never worked either. And no-one uses abortion as a contraceptive, no one.

2points

Dark Pearl 3 years ago

Cheri Aline Sydney is such a troll. People can make a choice depending on what THEY want

2points

John Baker 3 years ago

Leah Helbig, does it hurt to be that stupid?

1point

Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 3 years ago

If it's too underdeveloped to to survive outside the womb (or NICU), it is not a human. (Yes yes, there are babies that are stillborn and they and all the other children who die because of a disease etc do not fit in to this gategory) Your body your choice.

1point

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

It’s a human. It just doesn’t have the right to another human’s body. It isn’t a cat or dog obviously. Who cares if it’s a human. It doesn’t have the right to our bodies

2points

Suzy the observer 3 years ago

No uterus = no decisional power. You may have emotions, but NO CONTROL over a life-altering event that makes no demands on your body. And no, ejaculation does not count as a demand.

1point

Hugo Raible 3 years ago

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Janet Graham 2 years ago

Pro-Life and Pro-Choice can be compatible if the choice is keeping the baby or adopting. Or the choice is birth control or not. But the choice should never be like something out of the Roman Coliseum; Life or Death of the child.

0points

Reinaldo Fuentes 2 years ago

If nothing else, it's a good example of how the Right has rebranded Left sentiments. They teach that pro-choice somehow means pro-actively-pushing-people-to-have-abortions. This kind of thing happens all the time. The GDR (German Democratic Republic, aka East Germany) was neither democratic nor a republic. And every anti-LGBTQIA group in America finds a way to wedge "family", "Christian", and "freedom" into their name no matter what the heck they represent because they want you to think that gay people wanting to get married and adopt or have kids (you know, a family) are trying to destroy families.

0points

Jennifer Brekke 3 years ago

By that "comeback", isn't everything then pro-choice? The choice to HAVE the baby, the choice to NOT HAVE the baby?

0points

Marty BlackEagle-Carl 3 years ago

why is ass blocked, it's a animal with long ears?

0points

soni w 3 years ago

Noone likes the actual information, the real deal. You get shot down for making informed choices if they don't match up to what the majority has been brainwashed to believe. Whether that's racism, abortion, sexuality, vaccination, etc. There is no going against the norm if he norm is uneducated and indoctrinated. Let's have a discussion about abortion among sheltered die hard Christians - yep, that will never happen.

0points

CharliAnn Olney 3 years ago

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Susan Egan 3 years ago

Mario Elia, your saying a woman that wanted an abortion, but should wait for the babies opinion, should give birth and just leave it where it lays. The baby in your story obviously can take care of it's self. You don't know much about babies.

4points

Miss Cris 3 years ago

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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

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Mario Elia 3 years ago

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Kristal 3 years ago

Can't decide when it hasn't formed a brain or mouth to let you know ....

10points

Damon Tripodi 3 years ago

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Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

His body stays in tact.

11points

QuotedPrawn7490 3 years ago

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ChickyChicky 3 years ago

Then don't do it.

19points

Everything_Fubar 3 years ago

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Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

You mean anti choice. Everyone is pro life.

22points

Cheri Aline Sydney 3 years ago

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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

So a woman who doesn't take precautions because she's single and has no need for it but gets raped, should just go with the flow and have the baby... You're not for women choosing for themselves, you're for controlling what choices women should have. Just like any other Greedy Old Pervert.

72points

Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago

Consenting to even completely unprotected sex does Not constitute a commitment to 9 months of pregnancy and childbirth.

39points

StormWolf 3 years ago

Ah but there's the rub: when, exactly, is the fetus developed enough to be considered an actual "new human life"? And I know it is with all the best will in the world when people say it deserves its own rights and protection but those people certainly won't be the ones to step up and take the unwanted baby in, rather they insist on thrusting it in the arms of an unwilling, unhappy mother. Too often this leads to a (at best) neglected and (at worst) abused childhood. Ohhh I wish I had a screenshot of this Karen's FB post which so perfectly illustrates my point: basically she is ranting with indignation because a couple of years ago she protested outside an abortion clinic and basically bullied a young woman into keeping the child, even roping in CPS and the courts. Well recently she received an official letter stating that (surprise, surprise) the mother is unable to care for the baby so she and the powers that be was requesting that Karen, who was SO determined to give that child life,

20points

Black Karen 3 years ago

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Something 3 years ago

But what if she didn't choose?

16points

Sonia Reddel 3 years ago

Does a woman or girl who isn't on birth control as she isn't expecting any sex, and is raped get any consideration?

7points

Black Karen 3 years ago

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Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago

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Kat 3 years ago

In my case the precautions just didn't work (I was on birth control). So f...k you. You have no right to say the things you just did.

30points

Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

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#23

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

465points

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Sum Guy 3 years ago

I think we have peaked with this comeback... I don't see a better one coming up

113points

#24

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

Final score:

462points

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cybermerlin2000 3 years ago

They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19

45points