Join the Fun!

If you'd like to share a post on the “Clever Comebacks“ subreddit page, there's a few rules you need to follow. Firstly, you should know what a witty comment is. According to the moderators, it's “responses to someone that, for lack of a better word, roasts them.” Also, baseless insults, tasteless jokes, “no, u” style replies are what they call garbage content, and nobody likes them.

When you think about it, the only obvious goal when trying to think of a snappy comeback is to get a good laugh and share your original thought. And the same applies to real-life situations. If you hate those awkward moments when your friends or coworkers throw you a snide comment and everything that comes to your mind just sounds lame, don't worry. In real life, not many people can be as clever as Dr. House or Chandler Bing, but there's a few ways you can improve your reactions and become wittier.

#2

Bless This Woman

Final score:

828points

POST

Aiyanna Clements 3 years ago

Bless her indeed

219points

One of the things that could make you better is the world of improv acting. When it comes to showing your wit, timing is everything. The reply should be as spontaneous as the words that took you by surprise. One way of improving would be to become a better active listener. As Abigail Paul, workshop facilitator and training developer, told the BBC, “people think faster than others speak, giving the listener “extra time“ to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.”

Come to think of it, there have been many times when we already wanted to share an idea with the person who's not yet finished talking. “Most of us don't listen to the whole message,” Paul said, “we are just waiting to make our own points.” So if you want to whip out snappy remarks, you should actively listen to what the other person is saying and use the unexpected material she or he gave you.

#3

Not Be A Baby Machine

Final score:

807points

POST

A B C 3 years ago

"the transformed wife"? "godly womanhood"? Gosh, that lady is so brainwashed, it's sparkling inside her head.

261points

#4

This Always Makes Me Laugh

Final score:

800points

POST

Michelle 1 year ago

As much as I don’t like a lot of PETAs ways of doing things, this reply did make me laugh

19points

Sometimes, when we receive a biting remark, we might feel offended. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, said that negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity. So when it comes to your coworker who constantly tosses you rude remarks, remember that responding positively might ease the pressure and keep projects going smoothly. ”Positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one,” Raffy said.

#5

It Was Social Distancing Haha

Final score:

790points

POST

Raven Sheridan 3 years ago

Clearly this person got their prehistoric knowledge from watching The Flintstones.

281points

#6

They Don't Give A Damn

Final score:

768points

POST

Kristin Burggraf 1 year ago

Can I interest you in some fairtrade organic aloe for that... BURN?!?!?!

46points

Another great tip would be silencing your inner critic: “It’s about letting go of the need to judge ourselves,” Raffy explains. You should try saying what's on your mind without thinking about it. In improv theater, actors try to let go of their inner voice and give in to their “deepest fantasies” in order to say something spontaneous that they would never say in real life.

#7

Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

Final score:

760points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

*opens a GoFundMe for aloe vera purchases at Walgreens*

212points

#8

German History Lesson

Final score:

760points

POST

Me Me 9 months ago

- printing press - light bulb - telephone - tape recorder - turntable - mp3 - tv - first freely programmable computer - generator - automobile - jet engine - helicopter - jeans - toothpaste - periodic table of elements - theory of relativity - x-rays - nuclear fission - bacteriology - aspirin Just to name a few.

10points

#9

A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?

Final score:

755points

POST

WHY 2 weeks ago

3 unskippable ads, all of which are 15 seconds long, making me forget what I actually wanted to watch

1point

Let's not forget the brands that make clever comebacks a key part of their communication with customers. One obvious example is the fast-food chain Wendy's and their made-up social media holiday—National Roast Day. Their communications team does not hold back when it comes to witty replies in their social channels. The question is, do the customers actually value it?

#10

Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy

Final score:

753points

POST

Otter 3 years ago

So THAT'S how his wife explained all those kids, even if he never had sex with her while awake!

409points

#11

That's A Good Proof

Final score:

732points

POST

GoodWolf 3 years ago

Fool.

417points

#12

Got Roasted By A Police Twitter

Final score:

731points

POST

Katherine Heasley 1 year ago

It's so awful when the police murder someone like this.

13points

A survey by Sprout Social suggests that such responses are actually not appreciated by customers. Brand personality should connect your product to its consumers but as it turns out, that's not always the case. Sprout surveyed 1,000 consumers on which traits they want brands to share on social media and what action behaviors like humor or friendliness cause.

#13

It Is Funny But True

Final score:

727points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

check which one is magnetic

165points

#14

Yep May Be It Is True

Final score:

713points

POST

Andy Acceber 3 years ago

It's not illegal to seek asylum. Also, documented immigrants have lower rates of committing violent, property, or drug crimes than native-born citizens. Undocumented immigrants have rates even lower than them. The anti-immigrant, xenophobic fear-mongering that happens here is ridiculous and repulsive. Here's the research if anyone needs to educate friends or family: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32340

182points

#15

Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It

Final score:

713points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago (edited)

do you think Jeff has anymore d*** rockets? I need to get off this planet, permanently

131points

It seems that “three-quarters of consumers surveyed believe there’s value in brands exhibiting humor on social but only one-third actually want brands to bring on the snark full force.” The majority of consumers buy from brands that are honest, helpful and friendly. “It turns out that at the end of the day, consumers want brands to use social as a customer care channel”, Sprout explains. So while this kind of risky brand personality offers you a great deal of exposure, it seems that it's actually bad for business.

#16

Most Of Us Are Too

Final score:

712points

POST

J 1 year ago

It’s just a food baby 😂

6points

#17

Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic

Final score:

710points

POST

Thundernight 3 years ago

Space doesn't represent hope for me though-

126points

#18

Simple Math To Hard

Final score:

686points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

Well, math isn’t his strong suit

165points

Lastly, for a clever comeback to be considered great, it has to be honest. "The best retorts speak truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," said Paul. "That's generally what makes us laugh." So if you think of a clever comeback that's piercingly accurate and say it right there on the spot, you feel absolutely great because you know that you've earned it.

#19

True Perfection Has Been Achieved

Final score:

671points

POST

Penelope 3 years ago

This made me truly laugh out loud. Well done!

234points

#20

Old But Gold

Final score:

661points

POST

Julie C Rose 3 years ago

Congratulations to Australia for deporting her when she acted like a brat about quarantining.

76points

#21

Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours

Final score:

623points

POST

Lyone Fein 3 years ago

Daniel clearly has some disabilities of his own.

288points

#22

I Swear It Was On

Final score:

607points

POST

Lyone Fein 3 years ago

Nuf said

145points

#23

Jesus Statues vs. Police State

Final score:

593points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Matt needs a Schlapp in his face.

223points

#24

Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback

Final score:

589points

POST

ADHORTATOR 3 years ago

So did the English, but in France we did never regret it :-)

39points

#25

Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping

Final score:

574points

POST

Raven Sheridan 3 years ago

Ouch! Classical Greek burn. I take my hat off to you good sir! 🎩

237points

#26

Would You Like Some Whine With That?

Final score:

572points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Waaahaha, what a great answer. Wright got it right !

112points

#27

F*cking Sheep

Final score:

564points

POST

A B C 3 years ago

Poor sheep.

171points

#28

English Unchanged

Final score:

548points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

This needs to fly higher.

135points

#29

He Makes A Good Point

Final score:

546points

POST

Auntriarch 3 years ago

Ryan not awake yet?

28points

#30

Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create

Final score:

495points

POST

Stefan 3 years ago

I can imagine Darwin spitting his tea reading this.

245points

#31

I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"

Final score:

490points

POST

Adrian 3 years ago

So, God sent doctors with vaccines which had been developed by other doctors using the brains God gave them, and you turned them all down. Wow!

57points

#32

One For The Burn Ward

Final score:

486points

POST

Fred L. 3 years ago

A real shame; she has become such a nutcase.

136points

Ray Martin 3 years ago

She was always a nutcase.

17points

Load More Replies...

Karin Jansen 3 years ago

Meanwhile, here I was as a kid getting my first sex "education" from Look who's talking. Can still remember all the little sperms swimming towards the egg. Guess she didn't mean her movie to be informative.

10points

Zia Teasdale 3 years ago

What do you expect from Scientology?

5points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Yes! I liked her so much... back in the day. But I never knew anything about her, except her movies, do there is that

2points

Susie Elle 3 years ago

It means we should educate the other half of the parties involved in getting pregnant too, Kirstie.

14points

Sasha 3 years ago

Mama doctor jhones ehhhh. Seriously though, abortions are more common when theres less sex ed, cause teens do stuff without knowing how to avoid accidental pregnancy, get pregnant, panic cause they realize that they will now be ostracized and treated like criminals by the parents who refused to educate them, and that their lives are basically over, so they have to go get an abortion.

10points

kjorn 3 years ago

with sex education came the education to birth control. without it, the result is teen pregnancy

8points

Seabeast 3 years ago

Also, the lowest teen pregnancy rates are in countries with good sex education and access to contraceptives. The highest rates are in s**tholes like Arkansas and Mississipi.

7points

Leodavinci 3 years ago

Abstinence isn't sex education.

6points

tw 72 3 years ago

How is it a bad thing to learn how your body works? Kirstie, please be quiet.

6points

Kaisa 3 years ago

I really like Mama Doctor Jones. We need more people like that.

4points

tuzdayschild 3 years ago

Oh my!

1point

Norah Reilly 3 years ago

Kirstie, just go find a closet, get in it and shut the door.

1point

Reynard 3 years ago

I swear to Xenu that Kirstie Alley is insane

1point

riri_shizu 2 weeks ago

It's not that the numbers are increasing; it's that society is being freer and that people are coming out more easily.

0points

Tracey Stammers 4 months ago

Ouch! Well fielded!

0points

Lena Flising 4 months ago

In Sweden we have extensive s*x ed, birth controls are free for teenagers, and teen pregnancies are almost unheard of. Sure, some happen, but abortions are easily available and affordable. We also have 16 months' paid parental leave per child, which the parents can split as they want, except for the three months that are earmarked for each parent.

0points

Katherine Heasley 1 year ago

Mama Doctor Jones is so sassy! That's why I love her.

0points

Phoebe Stein 2 years ago

Mama Doctor Jones SLAAAYS

0points

Grammarly 2 years ago

Mama Doctor Jones!! :D

0points

Remind me where I am again ? 2 years ago

I hope @MamaDoctorJones was kind enough to prescribe some ointment for that burn

0points

Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 2 years ago

Then you would rather stop sex ed and have the population die until the point nobody is left? (Actually that sounds nice. Humans suck.)

0points

Lynn H 2 years ago

I <3 Mama Dr Jones! She's awesome

0points

lucy dale 3 years ago

mama doctor jones!!!!

0points

Brandy Grote 3 years ago

Mama Dr Jones! Spitting truths!

0points

Amanda Hunter 3 years ago

Youth stay home and stare at their phones these days.

0points

Nudge 3 years ago

that one's good lmao

0points

Deborah Padgett 3 years ago

🔥

0points

Phil Rubin 3 years ago

Need some aloe for that burn?

0points

FailBunny17 3 years ago

Ha! I completely forgot about her! 🤣

0points

Celesta 3 years ago

I LOVE Mama Doctor Jones. She takes no sh!t from ignorant zealots

0points

Flabuless-Jaye 3 years ago

Mama Doctor Jones - telling it how it is.

0points

NJWanderer 3 years ago

Truth; education, parental mentoring, and good reproductive care !!!

0points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Don’t debate Scientologists. It’s like debating a rock

0points

Shane S 3 years ago

She could really be a fun and enchanting diva… if she wasn’t so weird.

0points

Kay blue 3 years ago

Kirstie Alley was on a TV show in the UK called the Time Crashers, it's quite funny to see her resorting to that for work yet still she thinks she is relevant and should be listened to.

0points

Yvette Desmarais 3 years ago

Burn baby. Burn.

0points

.kirsten./ 3 years ago

Sex education only helps people understand what sex really is. But girls abuse that knowledge sometimes or maybe it’s just their hormones that get to the best of us, and that’s when they become pregnant by making poor choices, thus not wanting the child and aborting it

-2points

#33

Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down

Final score:

480points

POST

Jess Thompson 3 years ago

Mindy kalig is a highly underestimated genius

171points

#34

Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?

Final score:

460points

POST

Trillian 3 years ago

99.9% of the people claiming something is "socialism" don't have any idea what socialism means

86points

#35

Nasa Is Untrustworthy

Final score:

456points

POST

Nandina 3 years ago

Ignorance is the absence of knowledge. Stupidity is the presence of knowledge and the refusal to use it. Paul Coelho

37points

#36

It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho

Final score:

447points

POST

GoodWolf 3 years ago

Really? A pastor saying "show up acting stupid and find out if we have guns"?? WTF and I'm not even religious

263points

#37

The Real Deal

Final score:

433points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

even if he stays out of the emergency room (which he should) he'll still impact others, either by transmitting the disease to the vulnerable or to spread misinformation.

121points

#38

She Seems So Dumb

Final score:

431points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

I'll pay 38 dollars for a burrito if it means someone is able to pay their bills

157points

#39

I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing

Final score:

428points

POST

Little Wonder 3 years ago

Also video games are fun, and there's no age limit on fun.

201points

#40

Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here

Final score:

428points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

why is there such a big obsession with the military, I mean killing others or getting yourself killed is hardly a good thing

131points

#41

Look I Made A Joke

Final score:

420points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

you can't spell stupid without u, except this probably isn't a coincidence

138points

#42

Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?

Final score:

407points

POST

Little Wonder 3 years ago

Well. That's.. certainly an opinion.

80points

#43

In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”

Final score:

402points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

I though dwarfs was a verb

124points

#44

It Works Both Ways!

Final score:

372points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago (edited)

honestly pack your bags and leave, save your husband the trouble

204points

#45

He Wants The Ring Please

Final score:

369points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

You can slide off a door into oblivion, too.

78points

#46

Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses

Final score:

369points

POST

beastmachine. 3 years ago

I am pretty sure he didn't get who his father's son is...

197points

#47

Getting Schooled

Final score:

356points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

how do people who barely managed a high school degree get into parliament?

89points

#48

Fake Incest Go!

Final score:

341points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

sweet home Alabama...

131points

#49

State Representative Got Owned!

Final score:

339points

POST

Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago

It disgusts me to my core when adults use children to further their political or personal ideology.

218points

#50

He Really Went There

Final score:

326points

POST

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#51

What He Say?

Final score:

100points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

he gave him the silent treatment afterwards

28points

#52

Well Played, The Almighty

Final score:

95points

POST

Marcellus II 3 years ago

When I hold hands with my partner, I always hold both hands. Very inconvenient and somewhat unusual, but hey I can't take the chance they're masturbating with the other.

41points

#53

Only In Santa Clarita

Final score:

91points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Haaaahaha

8points

#54

She Said Over Her Dead Body......

Final score:

90points

POST

Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago (edited)

I probably shouldn't be laughing. But I am.

32points

#55

I Laughed Too Hard At This

Final score:

90points

POST

Marcellus II 3 years ago

There's entire books written without specific letters. From 6th century BC to present, that kind of wordgames have been in French, English, Turkish, German, ... and it's called a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lipogram

24points

#56

To Dress Up

Final score:

88points

POST

A B C 3 years ago

24/7 sounds inconvenient. On the other hand, if you keep your suit on while having a shower, it'll wash out the creases from sleeping in it, right? /s

35points

#57

Stop Complaining

Final score:

88points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

use hot sauce instead of oil

48points

#58

Naked Truth

Final score:

87points

POST

Spikey boi 3 years ago

Ouch. That is a nasty racist comment down below. Ignore that and take a Kitten instead! 🐱🐱🐱

36points

#59

Eddie The Eagle

Final score:

86points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

"now this young woman who has probably only jumped once in her life, will now be attempting the long jump! Look at her go, and she's made it! A full centimetre, a round of an applause for this fantastic lady!"

35points

#60

New New Testament

Final score:

85points

POST

Jess Thompson 3 years ago

Lmao

13points

#61

No, Not Like That!

Final score:

81points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

people are such hypocrites

23points

#62

He Did Spell It Wrong

Final score:

80points

POST

Marcellus II 3 years ago

How did a "novelist" get an "Oxford comma" there!?

12points

#63

Explaining Words

Final score:

79points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

Kevin Stupo

21points

#64

Screw Caitlyn Jennerule

Final score:

77points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

That whole fu*king family needs to be canceled.

65points

#65

Verizon > T-Mobile

Final score:

71points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

Lol

13points

#66

Family Problems

Final score:

70points

POST

Robyn Jones 3 years ago

*Childhood trauma enters the chat* 😅

45points

#67

Friend Sent Me This Screen-Grab About “Alpha” Males Against Dating Trans Women And That Is One Hell Of A Burn

Final score:

68points

POST

River Webb 3 years ago

you'll need a fire brigade for that burn

28points

#68

Still Chasing That Dollar

Final score:

65points

POST

Monday 3 years ago

For some context. This guy absolutely loves telling people he's the baby on the cover. He likes the attention and the reason behind the lawsuit was that he wanted more money.

40points

#69

A Pretty Thorough Demolition

Final score:

63points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

AOC always finds the right words for the worst burns.

12points

#70

There Was An Attempt

Final score:

60points

POST

Grumble O'Pug 3 years ago

I should have named my horse John Bon Pony!

32points

#71

Famous Last Words

Final score:

59points

POST

Miss-Un-Derstood 3 years ago

Cool dude

2points

#72

When You Try To Act Smart Only To Be Told Off

Final score:

53points

POST

Penelope 3 years ago

1905 the Supreme Court backed a municipal mandate on the smallpox vaccination. Which is why smallpox isn’t currently a threat to these jackasses or their offspring.

19points

#73

He So Right

Final score:

53points

POST

Brendan Roberts 3 years ago

He's right - chimps are deeply uncivilised. They should follow one of our courtships: approach a girl, flirt with her a little, drop a pill in her drink, rape her, and then claim she was asking for it because she wore a short skirt.

29points