The reasons why modern-day dating sucks so much are plentiful and a lot of it is, of course, related to dating apps. For one, they are giving us too much choice while at the same time not enough good matches. This leaves many overwhelmed but still starving for meaningful connections.
Then, there are all the problems that are related to texting. Ghosting, quickly losing interest in a conversation, not being able to convey emotion or get into a conversational flow through a screen.
Throw in some instant gratification and an otherwise already hectic schedule and voila— you have just created an awful dating experience. So awful, in fact, that almost 80% of singles report that they are experiencing dating burnout.
If you’re already in that 80%, the list of examples below will only make you feel worse about it. That is why Bored Panda contacted Lilian Czolbe, a relational coach and an author of a web series on online dating, to get some tips on how to navigate today’s dating scene.
This post may include affiliate links.
At Least She Knows She's Picky?
When it comes to online dating, Czolbe has a few tips on how to make it fun and interesting. First things first: you have to be yourself. “Create a profile that screams 'you.' Use recent, unfiltered photos, and write a bio that captures your essence. Honesty is the secret sauce for cooking up meaningful connections.”
She also encourages to prioritize quality over quantity. “Rather than pursuing many connections simultaneously, focus on a few quality interactions. This approach can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling connections.”
She notes that this tactic might not only lead to deeper connections, but also will be great for your own sanity. “Keeping up with several conversations at the same time is really challenging. You mix up the different people and ask George about the sister he turns out not to have—whoops!”
A few other important things that Czolbe lists is prioritizing safety, keeping a positive attitude, and taking time to take care of your own personal needs and aspirations.
Pretty Much How Most Tinder Convos Go Now Anyone Under 25 For Me. Wanted A Sugar Daddy
Girl On Tinder Wants Korean BBQ
Another big thing is staying open-minded. “Picture this: you've got this big circle that represents all your expectations, and you're trying to fit someone inside. But guess what? It's like trying to squeeze a watermelon into a lunchbox - it's just not gonna work.
So, I encourage folks to ditch the rigid checklists. Keep an open mind, and you might find yourself pleasantly surprised by the unique qualities of someone who didn't tick all your preconceived boxes.”
Trying To Get A $100 Minimum Dinner On A First Date
Jonathan, The Choosiest Of Tinder Beggers
Guy Went On One Date With A Girl, Waited 3 Months Of No Contact Before Deciding To Pick Out Every Insecurity She Probably Has About Herself. Claims She Hurt His Ego, Then Proceeds To (Kind Of) Ask For A Second Date
In fact, managing expectations is one of the crucial things when it comes to online dating. “It’s all too easy to conjure up grand fantasies about your potential match. You know, based on those heart-fluttering messages and a carefully curated profile. It's like writing a movie script in your head, and you're the star.”
Solution? Meet with your match as soon as possible. “It's like turning on the lights in a dimly lit room; you'll get a more accurate view of your potential partner and avoid investing too much emotional energy in an imaginary superstar.”
"Not Everything Is About You"
First One I’ve Run Into On Tinder
The Choosing Beggars Of Tinder
Dating in general requires you to be aware of what we expect from our potential partners. “We've all picked up some wonky ideas about love from movies, magazines, and Aunt Jane's advice at family gatherings. But it's time to separate the rom-com illusions from reality.”
A good example of that is a partner that does it all. “In today's complex world, we all play various roles - professional, friend, lover, family member, and more. The expectation that a romantic partner should fulfill every aspect of our lives can be overwhelming. By recognizing the value of diversifying our support systems, we can maintain healthier, well-rounded relationships.”
She Took "Pay To Play" To A New Level
This Cb Is Homeless With Three Kids And Making Demands On A Dating App
How the kids popped up if there's no sex before marriage? Previous marriages maybe?
For The Record, There Wouldn't Have Been A Date
So, you have an honest profile, a good attitude, and realistic expectations, and it’s still not working out—you get discouraged by all the rejections. How do you deal with that? Czolbe’s advice is to try and normalize people saying no to you. “Rejection is like that side dish that comes with every dating meal and almost everyone gets a taste at some point."
She notes that Ken Page, the author of Deeper Dating, claims that 90% of people we date aren’t even the right match for us, so we should expect for people to turn us down.
Blunt. Feminist. Liberal
You can see why the height matters, to gather the not-so-low-hanging fruit.
Load More Replies...She claims to be a feminist who enjoys nature but is obsessed with his income and physical appearance? Cool interpretation... she sounds insufferable.
It's weird that height shaming is so normalised, if I gave a weight limit, I would be an arsehole. So shouldn't we shame people for height shaming, there is very little that can be done to change this.
Yeah, I don't get it either. Every woman I know thinks it's ridiculous to judge someone based on height. Let's hope this trend dies a quick death.
Load More Replies...Maybe we should link her with that Christopher shoe store guy from (currently) #1 post?
First of all, the income stuff is totally out of line. But I don't understand the obsession with height. I'm 5'9, and dated a guy who was 5'6. I had NO problem with it, I don't care how tall you are, but he would get literally angry with me for being taller than him. Like seriously? I was full-grown when we met, did you think I would shrink with age that quickly?
I was actually fine with all of it except the super strict rules about money and height.
She was okay until the "you can be less than 6ft if you earn..." horseshit
She shouldn't have said the first part. Heck, she shouldn't have said all of it.
Apparently this person lives in the middle of the ocean. /s (There is a what3words address that is blunt. feminist.liberal
This Guy Is A Literal Content Gold Mine. I Don't Think Any Woman Would Want To Date You Buddy
Taking Tinder Dating To A Whole New Level
And of course she's a c you next Tuesday for not wanting to do 1,000s of dollars in labor for the privilege of his match. Gtfo dude.
A great way to deal with rejection is remember that this is not just about you. “It's often about the other person's issues or their cryptic texting skills, not your worth. So, we switch the narrative from 'I must have done something wrong' to 'I'm a catch, and they missed out.' It's like a self-esteem boost with a sprinkle of empowerment.” For example, if you get ghosted, she encourages people to view it as a reflection of the other person's inability to communicate, rather than a personal failing.
Went On A Date. Said I Was Looking For Something More Serious, No Hookups, And He Left Immediately. A Couple Months Later And I Get This Message
This is bizarre. And now I really want to know where they're "competing" 🤔
Tinder Is The New U-Haul?
Part Of The Time-Honored Tradition Of Making A Dating Profile That Demands Everything And Provides Nothing
According to Czolbe, self-reflection and self-growth should also be a part of dating life. “Dive into self-development, explore hobbies, and figure out what truly matters to you. Find the activities that feed your identity and independence, and you'll not only be a more attractive date, but you'll also enrich your own life in the process.”
Dead End Dating Profile (F) Asks Me (M) For Ride At 2:07am, I'm Not That Desperate. Til "Goof" Must Be A Powerful Insult
Should have texted "Hey, you are in luck. I am right outside your house" - that should have brought things promptly to an end.
These Are Realistic Standard For Dating On Craigslist
U Pay
And while issues related to online dating and apps is one of the big pain points in modern-day dating, it is certainly not everything. Czolbe highlights the rise of long-distance relationships as well as the struggles people have with communication in general.
For those fed up with it all, she suggests connecting with a professional like her, who can help them navigate the treacherous landscape. “I am still taking clients,” she smiles.
Im A Few Months Into My Tattoo Apprenticeship.. Apparently I Shouldn't State My Job On A Dating Site
Tinder Surgarless Sugar-Daddy Wanted
This is like prostitution, except that only one party is going to get fu*ked.
Alright Boys I'm Done With Tinder
All in all, dating can be quite challenging, so be brave and have fun. And if you see any choosy beggars on the way to meeting the one, screenshot it so we can put it on the next list like this one and completely forget about their existence—there are plenty of way better fish in the sea.
Dating Apps Are For Getting Paid, Not Getting To Know Each Other
My Sister Got This Message From A Dude On Tinder Asking If She Would Overhaul The Branding, Website, And Social Media For A Tech Start Up For Free
My Tinder Bio Has Photography Set As My Job
Hey, can you just donate a bunch of your time to an entitled stranger? No? Selfish b*#@h!
Ah The Latest And Greatest From Tinder
First I Thought Cb Was Cheap. Then I Thought Cb Was Bored. Finally, I Thought Cb Was Desperate. Is The Facebook Marketplace The New Tinder?
Imagine Thinking You're Worth Paying To Talk To Lol
At least these people put it out there and say what they want. Is it gross, sure. But do they sometimes catch that fish with their s**t bait, sure. We all have our core values. Some people's values are s**t. its why the world is the way it is right now. All I can say it they are up front and honest, and that gives the other people with [in my belief better values] the chance to walk away.
I wonder if any of the people ever get any takers. That is just crazy entitled.
The delusion is strong with these ones. I'd just love to see if any got ANYTHING at all.
I am on many dating sites. they are chock full of scammers: pay me for medicines-someone is sick and needs pills, hospital won't give care etc, Then "I need Menstruation supplies, along with a bloody panty photo, PAY MY BILLS, Be my stand in to inherit, I am short on travel money- send $50. I am six blocks away, Give me STEAM card money so my nephew/son/child can play games(Sunday Night 9:30). I know a man who paid his monthly pay to a woman coming from Abalama to new York city. She had a bad tire, needed tow truck $500, gas $400, Motels for three nights $600 and food, etc She said she was in Brooklyn but never showed up
At least these people put it out there and say what they want. Is it gross, sure. But do they sometimes catch that fish with their s**t bait, sure. We all have our core values. Some people's values are s**t. its why the world is the way it is right now. All I can say it they are up front and honest, and that gives the other people with [in my belief better values] the chance to walk away.
I wonder if any of the people ever get any takers. That is just crazy entitled.
The delusion is strong with these ones. I'd just love to see if any got ANYTHING at all.
I am on many dating sites. they are chock full of scammers: pay me for medicines-someone is sick and needs pills, hospital won't give care etc, Then "I need Menstruation supplies, along with a bloody panty photo, PAY MY BILLS, Be my stand in to inherit, I am short on travel money- send $50. I am six blocks away, Give me STEAM card money so my nephew/son/child can play games(Sunday Night 9:30). I know a man who paid his monthly pay to a woman coming from Abalama to new York city. She had a bad tire, needed tow truck $500, gas $400, Motels for three nights $600 and food, etc She said she was in Brooklyn but never showed up