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My older daughters, 10-year-old twins, have a secret - at night, when they are already in bed, they pretend to be asleep until my wife and I "supposedly" fall asleep too, and then tell each other made-up scary stories. We don't mind. Firstly, they fall asleep after about 20 minutes of such stories. Secondly, children's secrets are so cute and amusing!

And so, parents in this online thread on the AskReddit community also share similar secrets of their children - which they, as the kids themselves presume, have no idea about. And Bored Panda, in turn, makes a selection of the most interesting and touching stories from this thread for you.

More info: Reddit

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#1

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) I was talking to my dad about getting away with stuff when I was a kid and said, "You never knew that I would stay up reading every night with my flashlight".

He got an amused look on his face and responded, "You did that for years and never changed the batteries in that flashlight did you?"

That's when I realized he knew and was encouraging it the whole time.

mrlamcran , freepik Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same thing I mentioned in another post, somehow it has infinite power lol

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#2

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My daughter's bike was lost/stolen after she left it at the bus stop. After a few days of looking she had given up on finding it. She was crushed and I couldn't take it. I picked up an identical bike, I took the training wheels off just like the first one. When I got home I tried to pass it off that I found her bike.

A couple of days later she told my wife, that she knew it wasn't her bike, but she didn't want to make me sad by telling me she knew.

I know that my daughter knows my secret, but is keeping it a secret from me.

ysivart , Ron Lach Report

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#3

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My best friend is a lesbian. We live in Russia, it’s not safe to discuss openly, and her mom is homophobic. So, the family doesn’t know.

Her father surely knows and just avoids all the drama by pretending he doesn’t. Last small talk with him at her place was hilarious.

— Hi username, how are you? Any kids?
— Not yet, no
— Are you also one of them?
— One of whom?
— Them - *pause, looks at his daughter* -Child free.

Bulky_Gazelle_6128 , SHVETS production Report

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P Peitsch
P Peitsch
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That man is trying his best, what he can do, taking in consideration tjhe circumstances: his ortodox beliefs with was he was raised, the judging of the society, and the judging of his own wife. Give that man a kiss! He is a good father.

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Jihana
Jihana
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, they need a new code word. Russia now wants to make it illegal to advocate a childfree lifestyle.

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It's not that we parents are ratting our kids out regarding their secrets - in fact, most of the stories told here are about secret stashes of sweets, late-night trips to the fridge, or just cute, clumsy attempts to hide some mischief. How right is it to not let our kids know that we know about the secrets they hide so desperately?
#4

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My nephew lied as a kid but my mother knew and called him on it. He asked how she knew (I think she actually saw him do whatever it was wrong without him realising) she said his third eye on his forehead winked when he lied.

For about 2 years afterwards, whenever he lied he would do it with one hand over his forehead. So we *always* knew. It was great.

princecoo , cookie_studio Report

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#5

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My five year old sneaks into his 18 month old brother's bed every night. He thinks he's being sneaky, but I hear him crawl back into his own bed when I get up at 5am. It keeps both of them calm because our neighbors are loud and scare them often.

SnapCrackleandCrazy , freepik Report

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#6

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) Mine is still little enough to be very, very bad at hiding things. The other day he asked for a toffee. I said no. He went and got a toffee from the kitchen counter, 'hid' under the kitchen table, loudly unwrapped it, and when I still didn't react, he said 'I'm eating a toffee!' 😆.

GizmoTheGingerCat , Irina P Report

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"Some parents are sensitive to their children having such secrets, perceiving it as almost a betrayal. This is actually wrong," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "And in fact, this is connected precisely with the development of children as independent individuals."

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"After all, we adults may consider such secrets a mere trifle, but for little ones it can be almost the most important secret in their lives. And the fact that they will not be caught committing this or that prank is actually important for their further self-confidence."
#7

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My 5 year old daughter has a stash of snacks inside of a cat tree. The cats usually end up dragging them out and then I overhear her scolding the cats. 


I let this go on because 1) it's hilarious, and 2) it's nothing I haven't already given her. .

pantherrecon , Arina Krasnikova Report

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#8

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My son has a crush on a girl in school. He walks home from school every day and visits our neighbors very old dog. My son gives him belly scratches and, in exchange, my neighbors dog doesn’t tell a soul what my son tells him.

However, the dogs owner…who is “working nearby in the garden” is an excellent eavesdropper and knows everything, and she in turn shares it with me.

He will never know that I know.

IKnowAllSeven , Юлия Report

Final score:
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#9

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My kids sneak food from the pantry after they go to bed. I always know because they forget to turn the light off. Every. Damn. Time. I refuse to let them know what their tell is.

angmarsilar , Kaboompics.com Report

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"In addition, a child in the process of growing up constantly tests the boundaries set by parents and elders. They need to make sure where they can go beyond these boundaries - even if only for one or two steps, and where it's absolutely vital to stay 100% obedient. And the task of adults here is to treat this process with understanding, gently regulating it. And have fun together, of course," Irina Matveeva sums up.
#10

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My 7 year old keeps telling me she needs snacks for class and is selling them to the Jr. High kids on the bus.

She has made almost 60 bucks.

Her brother ratted her out.

BatSh*tCrazy , Mary Taylor Report

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#11

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My niece (4 yo) wrote her brothers name on the wall and claimed he did it. Her brother was not even a year old yet.

senrad , Yan Krukau Report

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Gourdeous
Gourdeous
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our daughter wrote the letter H in crayon on the wall and blamed the nanny (whose name starts with H)

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#12

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My daughter thinks she "gets away" with reading when she should be asleep. The fact that I have such a large book expenditure each month is also a dead give away.

Supermac34 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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As for the stories about these secrets online - well, if everything stays just at the username level, then it can hardly be a real disclosure, right? After all, I think almost all kids have similar secrets - so your little one's attempt to hide the fact that they pooped somewhere outside the potty is not at all unique. Although it's always funny. And stinky.
#13

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My 2 year old tries to hide a car behind his back when I put him to bed. I pretend not to see it until he gets in the crib and go “ooooohh you got me soooo good! You tricked daddy!” Then I tickle him which causes him to drop the car, I take it and hide it. Then I continue to play with him for a minute until he forgets about the car.

AdventureBegins , Pixabay Report

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#14

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) He likes to read my journal.

I'm an avid writer and keep several, including my laptop.

It honestly makes me laugh because no one, since my little sister eons ago, has expressed such interest in what I write.

What he doesn't know is that the one on my laptop is my *real* one, and it's password protected. The ones I leave on my bookshelf and office are the ones that are "safe" for him to read.

It tickles me to question him about stuff he shouldn't know but *knows* because he read it in my journal.

"Son, how do you know your Aunt and I are planning a trip next weekend?"

Deer caught in headlights look.

"I must have overheard you two talking..."

"Hmmm...".

ChaoticInsomniac , Maël BALLAND Report

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#15

That my 20 year old son is gay. I wish he would just come out and admit it so we can stop pretending we don't know.

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So, our dear readers, please feel free to scroll this whole selection, read the stories carefully shared here for you, and maybe add your own, in case you too have this incredibly happy burden of parenthood on your shoulders! After all, sharing this burden with someone else makes it easier to bear, doesn't it?
#16

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) That she pooped. Lady, I can smell your dirty diaper from across the room.

Starbucks__Lovers , lebsnow Report

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#17

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) I know that my 10 year old writes long letters professing his love to a girl in his class but never gives them to her and throws them in the trash.

Remarkable-Gift-7034 , Pixabay Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn but also, very nice that letter writing is still a thing, such a lost form in all this tech.

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#18

My kids read in bed at night after bed time. They thought they were so clever buying book lights with their Christmas money.

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#19

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) Not a parent, but when we were kids and one of us was sick, my parents would give us those disgusting purple Tylenol flu pills that you had to chew. My little sister would fake taking them and then stash them under the couch. Our house got flooded in a hurricane and when we pulled the couch out the carpet underneath was dyed purple from all the pills dissolving in the flood water.

Significant_Sort7501 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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glowworm2
glowworm2
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hated those chewable tablets but hadn’t mastered swallowing actual pills yet.

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#20

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) He had a secret character/identity he dresses up as in his room with a jacket and hat and acts out some hero thing. He’s never told us what it is. Been doing it for years.

Oceanbreeze871 , Kenneth Surillo Report

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#21

Went to wake up my three year old one morning and thought he had smeared poop all over the wall. Except no poopy pull up. Further investigation revealed the wrappers from the chocolates I told him the night before he couldn’t have. When asked if he did it, he said mommy smeared the chocolate on the wall. Cus yeah, she’s just like that I guess 😂.

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#22

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) Right now, my 10 year old is supposed to be asleep. Instead she's laying in bed searching for "Zoro with his shirt off" and composing a folder with the pics. She has completely forgotten that we share a Google account. She's hasn't even gotten to time ship zoro yet.

daejane1 , Kaboompics.com Report

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pineapple87
pineapple87
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to have a gigantic poster of a topless Brad Pitt on my wall, but I "hid" it on the wall between the wardrobe and a bookshelf. I was like 13-14, though

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#23

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) Mine wakes up early (some days) and sneaks in to take her phone to play games under her bed cover. I know it every time she does it. I don't tell anything.. 30 mins later I go to wake her up loudly so that she gets time to 'put it away'. And she pretends to have just woken up and I pretend to have not known that she was on her phone the last half hour.

hipityflip , Kampus Production Report

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pineapple87
pineapple87
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only remember pretending to be asleep on my birthday because I knew I was getting breakfast in bed

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#24

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) Mine is barely a toddler so right now it’s
“No, I’m TOTALLY not pooping right now, just the floor got REALLY interesting, so I need to squat down to look at it for a few minutes!”

She plays with her fingers in the carpet as if she’s doing a good job fooling us.

MysteriousWait476 , freepik Report

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#25

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) Oh, my kids think they're master spies sneaking candy at night, but little do they know, the wrappers left under the couch are like neon signs saying, 'We were here!' It’s like trying to hide a body but leaving the fingerprints.

mommyxmarianna , Terrance Barksdale Report

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Lost Panda
Lost Panda
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My children will try and throw the snack trash away in the bathroom cans forgetting that I am the one that takes out all the trash. Their mother cares, I don't since they are all at that growth spurt stage. As long as they use a trash can, then I'm happy.

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#26

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My daughter (10) has been using a shared Google doc to chat with a friend while they play games on the switch. She told me yesterday "I delete all the text so don't bother trying to see what I wrote." I wasn't planning on reading it but since she spoke up I went and checked and it was the most boring to the point game stuff ever. What pokemon they wanted to trade and what courses they wanted to do in Mario Kart.

Threndsa , Pixabay Report

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#27

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) My friend has a 13-year-old son. I used his laptop to google something and his search history popped up with “thick girl walking dog” and “jiggle physics.” Lololololol.

liberty285code6 , Ling App Report

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Marissa D
Marissa D
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oop............that's what incognito mode is for, kiddo :)

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#28

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) I think my 11 year old hides how much he really knows about stuff.

Example: he wrote his Xmas list for ‘Santa’ but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe anymore. He’s a smart boy and you know, the internet is at the tip of his fingers. I just think he won’t admit it incase he thinks he won’t get any presents which is not the case.

There’s also been incidences where he has said a grown up phrase e.g. about sex and when I’ve asked him what he thinks it means and he clams up when I explain it to him.

Kids growing up too fast nowadays.

mummyoftwoboys , August de Richelieu Report

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Peter Bear
Peter Bear
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids have always 'grown up too fast'. Because parents don't want to see their children become adults, and so we ignore the evidence. As recently as 150 years ago, your child would have been working 10 hours a day in a sweatshop, and would only be a year below age-of-consent. In Victorian England, mind you. So let's not say today's kids grow up too fast, huh? It's only in the last century that kids have been able to BE kids.

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#29

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) Not believing in Santa, she's playing her cards close for the other two that still seem to believe.

Jenos00 , Pixabay Report

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Peter Bear
Peter Bear
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 44 years old and I believe in Santa. Because 'Santa' isn't a person, he's a state of mind. Anyone can be Santa, and everyone should be.

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#30

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) That they are up in bed watching tv and not sleeping. I could resolve this but gives me a needed hour or two break.

derrabe80 , freepik Report

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#31

My three year old tells me she washed her hands after going to the bathroom... She can't reach the faucet on her stool.

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#32

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) They think we don't know what furry culture actually is.

Anom8675309 , Julian Hodgson Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Furry culture is basically people who really like build-a-bear...like stakeholders. lol

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#33

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) The cheap prepaid Android phone they bought so they have something to use when they get grounded from the phone we provide. Also so they can install apps we prohibit.

SoreDickDeal , Prashant Singh Report

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Coralinea
Coralinea
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depending on what's the reason for the phone ban, but this does not sound great to me. Also, parental control on at least some content is a good thing.

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#34

"Parents, What Secrets Do Your Children Think They Are Hiding From You?" (36 Answers) I think my daughter is hiding snacks in her pillow.

reallyihadnoidea , Elina Fairytale Report

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#35

I think my daughter has a boyfriend.

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#36

Ha! Overheard my son spilling a bunch of tea the other day. First was when he was about 9, (he’s 14 now) he came downstairs crying about a broken tv. He claimed he accidentally shot a Nerf gun at it. Come to find out he was game raging and punched the tv. Then the second broken TV he said fell off a table when he bumped it or something. Come to find out it was game rage again, threw his computer mouse and it bounced and hit the tv. Also learned that apparently the girls at school really like him… when he got himself a little gf apparently one of her friends said to “watch out because at least 6 other girls wanted him” lolol having a high schooler is a wild ride 🤣.

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