I can see why adoption agencies turned your sister down and your mother is a nut.

Time for OP and Kyle to break away from this toxic sh*t excuse of a family!!! SMH!!!

Telling someone they are unfit to be a parent is not a terrible thing to say- it’s stating a fact and I think op was right to tell her that, ya know, just in case she forgot.

NTA, especially reading the follow up where OP explains that her sister was rejected as an adopter due to neglecting her foster kids. Asking for someone else's baby, because they're having twins, is seriously inappropriate. She is very clearly not in a state of mind where she should be given care of a baby, even if it was harsh to say so. Never, ever, leave either of these babies in her care, because she's not stable.

You are NTA!!! You keep your children together and make sure , legally, that your sister and husband cannot get custody if something happens to you or your husband. Find a competent lawyer who is well versed in family court issues. You and your husband need to write your wills and name the same people as the guardians for your children, just in case. DO NOT WAIT!!! DO IT NOW!!! A long life is not guaranteed.

I think the sister would be an unfit parent just based on the fact that she thinks it reasonable and normal to demand her sister give her one of her children, like it's a candy bar and not a human being. OP is 100% justified in pointing out her sister would be an unfit parent just for that. But wait, it gets worse. Her sister was deemed an unfit foster parent and the bar is sadly pretty low. I'd question how much contact the kids should have with the nutjob family members siding with the sister. There is a high probability that the sister can't deal with grief from her infertility in a healthy way because people like mommy dearest are enabling her twisted way of thinking.

Jesus fûćking christ what the hell is wrong with that bíțch

I would keep those babies far away from her.

OP better pack and get the hell out of there as soon as she can because I guarantee Mia will end up on the news for kidnapping one of the babies.

Just the fact that she was found negligent by the state already and has consistently exhibited mental illness..... why in the hell would you hand a child over to her?!?! NTA!

Reminds me of the friends episode when Phoebe says she wakes to keep one of the triplets of her brothers. And Rachel goes "I'm gonna be on the news!" And then "(brother) is going to want to keep all of his children!"

This is creepy AF. Firstly bc she feels entitled to your child, and secondly bc some of your family members are siding with her. If there was ever a reason to go no contact this is it! NTA for anything here- you only spoke true facts. The only thing you could be the AH about is feeling bad about saying no to this! It's appalling from any angle!

Wait, WTF? What the hell is wrong with this woman's family? OP needs to cut all ties and communications with this nightmare of relatives! Apparently they don't understand why all adoption agencies REJECTED sister because she is UNFIT to adopt! I seriously doubt dear sister would be willing to give away one of her babies if the shoe were on the other foot. Fortunately you can pick and choose your friends, but the devil gave you your relatives 👿👹. Run and don't look back.

Some people said it was wrong to tell her she was unfit for adoption, but OP said that the sister abused the foster kids. She's literally unfit to raise a child.

To those in the family that think it's reasonable to expect you to do this,, tell them that if they so badly want your twin to have a baby then they should offer to be a surrogate to her. If they refuse then feel free to call them ta.

Nta, protect your little ones at all costs. Hate to say it but do not trust sister or any other family member who agrees with her to babysit or be alone with them, probably best to stick with your husband's family on that point.

If the family is really that interested in giving sister the baby, they should start an operation of EVERY fertile member of the family bear a child for her, with her and her husband's sperm NO LESS (methinks not even homozygous twins are 100% identical due to mutation so her sister's child can't truly be hers by genetic level even ignore the fact of being conceived by another man???). The audacity HUH

Isn't this the plot of Blood Brothers?

These people are insane. As soon as she knew that she was deemed unfit to raise children, Sis was nuts to even suggest such a thing. This indicates some mental health concerns, and I wouldn't feel comfortable around her, after she wished for horrible things to happen to me and my unborn kids? BYE Sis, this sounds like the beginning of a horror story 😨! Be strong OP. I know weirdness when I see it. Prayers 🙏

Restraining order is definitely needed ASAP!! Sis is CRAZY who tf would just give a baby away? I was pregoo with identicals & lost one I couldn't imagine someone wanting to keep her!!

If this is her identical twin she better keep the babies out of reach! Identical twins share the same identical DNA so a test would show the aunt as the bio mom as well. My mom is an identical twin so my aunt's kids (DNA speaking) are my half siblings! No kidding! Scary situation this mom finds herself in!

I'd be pretty wary about the babies safety in case OP's unhinged sister tries to kidnap one.

Who are always those family members in these kind of stories that message their kids/nieces/whatever they are selfish for not giving their kid away? (or house or wedding venue or kidney or whatever the article is about at the time) if my family members would message me anything like that would be the last time we ever spoke.

Time for OP to go NC with sister and mum also anyone else who thinks she should give her sister one of her twins. Who the heck thinks it's acceptable to split up kids especially twins. The sister and mum need to stay the hell away from those kids and be never allowed near them. What a disgraceful family to even say it and agree, just because the were not planned. The mum is a horrid mum to expect her daughter to give away one of her babies.

What the fück is wrong with people?

My aunt tried to do this in 1989 when my mother became Oops pregnant. I was 12 and my brother was 14. She was also on my father's side. Let's just say things didn't fly too well.

Ah, family, been there, went trough similar stuff, doesn't surprise me at all. That's just how toxic families are. While she had every right to call out her sister on that fact and you don't need to be a perfect human being. I still want to suggest: it's better to not try to reason with these people, it's especially hard when it's family, but also you know their weak points and hit them like a guided missile just like they know yours. So you want to them to understand but they can't anyway, they life in their own reality, and if you get angry then you subconciously thend to aim in on their weak points and boooom. So just a simple "no!" often is best, there is no need to explain why. They don't understand it and try to argue... tough sh*t you are not required to explain yourself. "Because I don't want to" is enough reason, they don't accept that, again that's on them. It can be good to explain your toughts with reasonable people, with toxic people in most cases you shouldn't even.

Are we near a rodeo?

What this really comes down to is is your sister a danger to you. She's your twin, do you have that bond? Can she not respect the right the twins have to each other? Could the family help her adopt or conceive? Sydney Anderson, Psychologist, Bloomington, needs to be consulted with, your best option. Her neglecting the foster chd need to be understood. This is a safety issue before it's a "sharing" issue. Your partner has a decision in this, it should have already ended the discussion, the paternal side wasn't his ppl was it? So much more to say. In beginning twins are very very difficult, they don't recognize each other until 8-10 months, they are essential one. You will need help, she could help you and be close aunt/God mother...a child can't have too much love, but the animosity factor is concerning. You must be seeing a child psychology, she will help make informed prof decision s that your family can understand.

This is ridiculous....l don't even think this is real. You cannot just give a baby away, its illegal. Who would even ask?! And her family agrees with the ask and says she's being selfish for saying no???! Whole story is suspicious and seems fake to me.

Why in the world would the OP even wonder if she's a jerk for refusing to give one of her babies to her sister!? It's clearly obvious who's in the wrong here and doesn't even need to be up for debate!!

This is, in the most polite terms i can muster, absolutely appalling! She did right by telling someone, even if they were just strangers on the internet, and I sincerely hope they’re able to have the sister committed for this.

OP isn't the AH. Time to move like someone said and in the meantime, get a restraining order.