Join the Fun!

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Hyper independence.
Can’t be let down if you never ask for anything in the first place.

caseofgrapes , Zhu Liang Report

Final score:

187points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

I find it easy to detach myself from people, I don't get attached to people easily. I avoid doing so much, keep them at a safe distance, so that if something happens i'm affected minimally.

47points

OkJellyfish6400 , RODNAE Productions Report

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Being an "empath." You actually have conditioned yourself to be highly attuned to micro changes that indicate negativity you need to look out for. Also codependency or hyper independence.

Final score:

159points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

This has just stuck with me, always. I can immediately tell when someone is angry, I can detect changes in their tone, the way they walk, their facial expressions, their body, all of it.

52points

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Oversharing when you haven’t known the person long OR the opposite where you don’t open up to anybody. Two extremes

agbellamae , Metin Ozer Report

Final score:

152points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

I do both. I'm like "f**k they didn't need to know that, now they're going to think _____" when I do talk, or I just don't talk about my emotions or feelings at all.

44points

ReynaAllman , Alexei Maridashvili Report

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Difficulties trusting, low self-esteem, fears of being judged.

Final score:

146points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

Never hopeful for anything. Anxious, worried about so much, depressed about all of it.

30points

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood "Animals are better than people."

StuntFace Report

Final score:

128points

POST

Sandy D 1 year ago

This one is true, well, in most cases they are

41points

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Not wanting attention. Not taking photos. No social media. Don't celebrate birthdays. Dont want any awards. Don't want any kind words. Just let me exist, lol.

MyMotherIsACar Report

Final score:

128points

POST

Ash 1 year ago

OR secretly longing for people to make a really big deal out of things like your birthday, but not being able to ask for it.

71points

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Extreme self cringe, doubting if what you said was the right thing. Doubting if you acted the right way, or behaved the right way in a social setting. Asking someone several times if you did something correctly. Zoning out because you randomly remembered a traumatic childhood memory, low self esteem, lack of confidence.

HistoryTurd , Dmitriy Zub Report

Final score:

127points

POST

Mad Dragon 1 year ago

Me *trying to fall asleep* Head: "Let's review every conversation you had today and figure out what you said and did wrong!"

36points

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Unable to forgive themselves for small mistakes.

PhreedomPhighter , Fernandes Report

Final score:

121points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

It's because I'm yelled at for every single mistake I make. So when I do make a mistake, I spend forever thinking about it and criticizing myself for it.

29points

mrpji 1 year ago

wow youre on every single BP post lol

4points

Mia Black 1 year ago

I have this and a lot of the other points but I did not grew up in a rough rough household... Just in s household struggling with money ( to less), time (to less) and work ( to much) where I am the eldest of three had to look out for my siblings and another child too. Chores hab to be done from young age, including garden chores and stuff related to animals like picking up dog poo from four dogs from the yard, cleaning goat/sheep and chicken kennels, helping harvesting and stuff like this. Exhausting for a kid but pretty normal in rural areas. Maybe it would have been a lot easier to cope with if I were not bullied since kindergarten plus my depression I had since weeks years which I realised in hindsight

1point

Lynette Vella 1 year ago

Finally, at 60, I've given up berating myself bc it seems everyone else has done enough of it for me.

0points

Timbob 1 year ago

Asking yourself daily, if you have anything to worry about !

0points

Westworld Employee 7 1 year ago

Yes, yes, yes!

0points

#10

Someone once told me, "your parents shouldn't be your first bullies" and holy F**K that rocked me.

One sign you can notice in yourself that I didn't realize until I started therapy: you don't have physical sensations when feeling. Everything is just like....mental? It's hard to explain but...happiness is supposed to exist somewhere physically. Not every emotion is supposed to be represented by your permanent vague chest tension. Wild!

Another sign: you rarely, if ever, talk about yourself socially. I ask a s**t ton of questions of people and I am happy to listen to them and hear their problems, but I don't share much of myself to anyone. It makes it hard for me to deepen relationships because I don't practice vulnerability. I don't think people want to hear from me.

Finally, hypervigilance. I know people based on their footsteps. I know where my husband is at any given moment (he's lovely, he just has to deal with my traumatized a*s) in the house. I don't think I have ever truly relaxed.

But tbh.....this thread is kind of nice for me, in a weird way. It's terrible other people experience this, but I don't feel so alone right now.

AmbienWalrusTime Report

Final score:

114points

POST

Renno Lillemets 1 year ago

I think alot of us feel that we are not alone with our stupid weird problems. TY who ever made this and thank all of you sharing, i feel so many of you have what i have...

21points

#11

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Scared of conflict to the point you avoid it at all costs, certain that if it happens the other person will hate you/ it will end awfully. You’ve never seen people calmly sit down and discuss their emotions in a loving way, so that world doesn’t exist.

blushbell , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:

104points

POST

Donna Peluda 1 year ago

I had this problem when I was younger, I worked hard to be able to communicate with the people I loved but it always backfired on me. They took it as personal criticism. It could also be due to the kind of person I've had relationships with.

13points

#12

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Perfectionism. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I just always thought I was bad at everything or 'lazy,' when, in fact, I deal with a crippling level of perfectionism.

HedyHarlowe , Los Muertos Crew Report

Final score:

103points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

Lazy, I hate that word. It's used by people who don't know a damn thing about it. My dad uses that word a hell of a lot. I was good at things when I was younger. Now things are harder, I couldn't adjust and learn at a correct pace, I'm bad at things and I feel dumb, weak, lazy.

23points

paul_rudds_drag_race , Jed Villejo Report

#13

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood In some cases, excessive people-pleasing tendencies

Final score:

95points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

I do this a lot. I can't stand not being liked, it makes me feel at risk. I try to make people as happy as possible so no one's mad at me, people like having me around, etc.

24points

hooray__questionmark Report

#14

Imposter syndrome.

You don't feel like you deserve anything. Don't feel like you're good at things. You feel like someone else has to be better or deserve those things more than you do.

I know that's not the only reason for it, but when you're told over and over how useless you are and how you don't deserve your family or to even exist, that stays with you. And it's really f*****g hard to convince yourself otherwise. Jobs, relationships, my feeling is kinda always "there has to be someone better."

It's also why rejection hits so much harder, because then it's confirmation of those beliefs. And it's really f*****g hard not taking it personally all the time.

Final score:

94points

POST

Martin 1 year ago

Yes. The feeling as if other people will discover that you're not that good after all really burns each time I do things at work.

15points

External_Falcon7447 Report

#15

Inability to form and keep relationships, having sparse or little to no memory of your childhood, eating disorders, depression, social anxiety, agoraphobia, extreme emotional shifts, attachment issues, consistent exhaustion, strong unexplainable reactions towards social stimuli, separation anxiety, gastrointestinal issues and complications, substance abuse and addiction, intrusive thoughts, self-destructive behavior, etc

Final score:

82points

POST

Renno Lillemets 1 year ago

This is me in so many ways....

13points

Glass_Command_5432 , cottonbro studio Report

#16

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Constantly apologizing for every little thing. Extreme introversion. Little to no outward emotion. Ability to stay calm in emergencies or chaotic situations.

Final score:

76points

POST

NickTheDuck 1 year ago

and then feeling even worse when the other person says "don't apologize!" just trying to be helpful and it gets worse

20points

#17

Constant dark humor or self deprecating humor.

Also the ability to totally pretend cr**py things never happened or pretend someone didn't do something awful to you.

People might think you're really funny and forgiving but sometimes they are both just coping mechanisms.

IKickedASmurf Report

Final score:

74points

POST

Samyan Elrod 1 year ago

Dark humour yes, but my guard is always so far up I can't do the self deprecating jokes becasue I'm so scared that the jokes are actually true and I won't risk it :/

10points

#18

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Feeling bad just for existing.

thatdrunkbetch , Brett Sayles Report

Final score:

71points

POST

NickTheDuck 1 year ago

TW I heard a story of an 11 year old kid who unalived himself for mothers day, and his note said that it was the greatest gift he could give his mother.

26points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#19

Among many of the signs people have posted here, thinking you’re completely responsible for everyone else’s emotions. If someone seems upset, it’s because you think you did something. You constantly try to predict other’s emotions because you grew up in an emotionally unstable living environment. Predicting others emotions was a useful survival tactic at one point, but can add lots of stress later in life and cause you to misinterpret social interactions with other people.

Chaz_Cheeto Report

Final score:

69points

POST

Ash 1 year ago

Yes! And even if you know they're not upset because of something YOU did, you continue to feel upset as long as they do. Because somehow that's your JOB.

19points

#20

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Getting disproportionately frustrated at themselves for small accidents such as spilling things, accidentally breaking something, etc.

What happens is, a lot of these people would be abused as a kid for these things, so as an adult when it happens, their brain overloads their system with fear and anxiety, and frustration can be secondary emotion to that.

So when these things happens, this is basically a conditioned response because your brain associates these accidents with imminent danger.

This is why therapy is so important for people who had s**t childhoods especially during their developing years. I had no idea this was a thing until I went to therapy, but when my therapist explained this to me, it made so much sense. And now when these things happen, I tend to laugh it off.

Mirraco323 , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

64points

POST

devotedtodreams 1 year ago

I am this, though this is chiefly because I have had weak nerves for a long time, and they don't seem to be improving. And especially when everything seems to go wrong at the same time, it feels like a cosmic conspiracy or something.

1point

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#21

Always having an escape plan. From the current room, building, or most importantly, current life situation

NEED_A_NEW_UN Report

Final score:

64points

POST

McSydney 1 year ago

I call this survivor mode

17points

#22

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Choosing partners who don't support, cherish or value you. Choosing jobs and relationships that reflect the lack of empathy and neglect that you grew up with.

strawman_11 , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

62points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

Please stop describing me.

21points

#23

Feeling like you have to do everything yourself. This can often come from either being taught to "be a man," or "if you can't do it yourself, you'll fail in life." Those are just a few that stemmed from for me. Constantly feeling like you're bothering someone by asking for help can f**k you up as a kid, and it can carry to adulthood.

PotatyTomaty Report

Final score:

58points

POST

Daria 1 year ago

I don't feel safe relying on other people, but sometimes you have to.

17points

#24

Poor social skills, complex PTSD, ADHD like symptoms.

OrionJ71 Report

Final score:

57points

POST

Sardonyx_3 1 year ago

(👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉

6points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#25

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood An adult acting childlike. People think it's cringe but age regression is a trauma response. You can especially see this is you've ever been to a psych ward. People are clinging to blankets and stuffed animals. Childhood was probably the last time they existed without being traumatized.

dinosanddais1 , whoiswasiq Report

Final score:

53points

POST

Sandra Guistwhite 1 year ago

Actually, I was traumatized in childhood, so when I do childlike things, it's a do-over, not reliving

37points

#26

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Being insecurely attached to friends and romantic partners

Leeser , Afta Putta Gunawan Report

Final score:

52points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

Attachment anxiety. It sucks thinking you're losing someone or that they don't like you like they used to, or that they never did.

17points

#27

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Hypervigilance.

StuEdin , Rene Asmussen Report

Final score:

50points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

I hear every single sound that's made. Footsteps, voices, I just listen and prepare. I don't like when people come up behind me. I can tell if someone is angry just by the way the floor sounds when they walk.

25points

#28

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Having a hard time showing emotion.

-LavenderFlower- , Anton Darius Report

Final score:

45points

POST

EmbersAreOut 1 year ago

I hav this issue with emotion. I lock it all up until something happens which releases months of anger and sadness. not a fun thing.

9points

StriveForGreat1017 Report

#29

Constantly feeling like you need approval from other people

Final score:

45points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

I always want people to like me. Always. I want them to like what I'm doing, I want to be praised because if I'm not, then I don't feel like I'm doing it right.

14points

#30

30 Revealing Signs Of Behavior That Indicate Someone Had A Traumatic Childhood Trouble forming relationships

CavalloScuro , Külli Kittus Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Loverboy 1 year ago

Hard to do it when all you've had is bad experiences, and all you can see is it going wrong.

14points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Note: this post originally had 62 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

Read less »

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

Isabela Cincu 1 year ago

Any kind of abusive relationship...also a marriage

9points

MontanaMariner 1 year ago

Hey Dad, finally got 30/30 on a test. Finally proud of me? Nope. You hated me so much I hate myself. Thanks.

8points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

We all have some of these to a point.... but if you can put hyper- in front of vigilance, awareness, self-criticial, scared of authority, etc.? Yeah, you're not "oversensitive". Adult survivor of 17 years of people hurting me since I was 2 years old. Go ahead. Tell me I'm just whining about "oh my trauma". I still have screaming nightmares in my 50s. Sometimes, it really is traumatic by clinical definition.

8points

Hayhaypaula 1 year ago

And yet your heart led you to become a nurse that takes care of others! Good for you.

3points

Sleestak 1 year ago

Well, that's a revelation. And I have a great family.

4points

Cami 1 year ago

BTW just because you experience things like these doesn't mean that you have childhood trauma. A lot of these are normal to a certain point or are related to neurodivergencies.

4points

Blue_Mouse 1 year ago

That is true, but everyone has trauma to a degree, just some more than others

0points

AwesomeLeoWife 1 year ago (edited)

Everyone has a lot of these to a certain degree. Yes I understand that’s not the point of the article but we shouldn’t be thinking about “oh my trauma” just because we relate to anything here though.

3points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

Yes, we're all a little sensitive. We'retalking *hyper*. To the point that you can't sleep, can't eat, consider suicide, and thats at age 11. True story. Mine, in fact.

2points

El is so weird (s)t(he)y 1 year ago

I relate to too many of these

2points

Daria 1 year ago

Most of these did strike home. And here I thought I was almost normal and ordinary.

2points

Sandy D 1 year ago

I relate to many of these, unfortunately

2points

Lilla Ontherun 1 year ago

Me too. My mother tried everything to raise me as a single parent, I could never tell her how broken I became.

2points

freakingbee (they/them) 1 year ago

well um..i guess i had childhood trauma? i never thought of it that way...

1point

A gay cat man 1 year ago

Yay a 100%

1point

Steven 1 year ago

As others have rightly said, just because we can relate to these does not necessarily mean we were traumatized. Not everything indicates trauma. The Anerican Psychiatric Association (2013) defines traumatic stressor as "Any event(s) that may cause or threaten death, serious injury, or sexual violence . . . "

1point

TMoxraaar 1 year ago

My parents hated each other (along with second spouses). I was told to "not tell them" this or that. I got used to trying to remember lies and figure out what I was "supposed" to say. To this day I feel guilty if I embellish a story, and even though I've told the truth I still always do that quick mental check of "what did I tell them about this last time?"

1point

Alex 1 year ago

I related to almost all of these, and just realized I did not have the best childhood

1point

TheDag 1 year ago

God damn bored panda get out of my head XD

1point

Tyler 1 year ago

the thing is I wasn't abused or actually bullied but I display many of these traits and I don't know why and its so annoying because I dont know why Im like this and I feel guilty for feeling like this and its just an endless cycle

0points

Janine Randall 1 year ago

I always prepare for the worst. There is no hope for the best.

0points

Cyndielouwhoo 1 year ago

Unfortunately, I can relate to a lot of these. I think the only saving grace for me and my siblings is that my mother tried to be a good parent and build us up as much as possible, of course she was treated badly too by my father. She did eventually leave him and take us along (which took a lot of guts, especially considering how rough it was for a suddenly single mom without recent work experience or family support.) But she did it! Even went to college, first in her family too.

0points

microwaved mcdonalds fries 1 year ago

uhh 23/30 i thought i was more ok than that

0points

POST

Isabela Cincu 1 year ago

Any kind of abusive relationship...also a marriage

9points

MontanaMariner 1 year ago

Hey Dad, finally got 30/30 on a test. Finally proud of me? Nope. You hated me so much I hate myself. Thanks.

8points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

8points

Hayhaypaula 1 year ago

And yet your heart led you to become a nurse that takes care of others! Good for you.

3points

Sleestak 1 year ago

Well, that's a revelation. And I have a great family.

4points

Cami 1 year ago

BTW just because you experience things like these doesn't mean that you have childhood trauma. A lot of these are normal to a certain point or are related to neurodivergencies.

4points

Blue_Mouse 1 year ago

That is true, but everyone has trauma to a degree, just some more than others

0points

AwesomeLeoWife 1 year ago (edited)

3points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

Yes, we're all a little sensitive. We'retalking *hyper*. To the point that you can't sleep, can't eat, consider suicide, and thats at age 11. True story. Mine, in fact.

2points

El is so weird (s)t(he)y 1 year ago

I relate to too many of these

2points

Daria 1 year ago

Most of these did strike home. And here I thought I was almost normal and ordinary.

2points

Sandy D 1 year ago

I relate to many of these, unfortunately

2points

Lilla Ontherun 1 year ago

Me too. My mother tried everything to raise me as a single parent, I could never tell her how broken I became.

2points