What gets me is the double standard. When she was 20, underage drinking was acceptable. Now that she's 22, she has a "responsibility" to prevent underage drinking.

You are, of course, under no obligation to invite to your wedding anyone if you don't want to see them there, but it's a d**k move to exclude one of your friends just because she's slightly younger than you(and also considered adult in most countries). YATA and a s****y friend.

This wedding will not be child-free so long as OP is there.

Tell us you are too immature to get married without saying so.

So she doesn't know that cutoff for "children" is actually 18 not 21 since 18 is an adult??? She is definitely the AH

She’s old enough to vote and serve in the military so hardly a child. The one who lacks maturity is OP.

Mel needs a new friend. If no one in the friend group stood up for Mel to you, Mel needs a new group of friends. This is beyond childish.

Girl, go sit down somewhere and reevaluate getting married. You aren't mature enough. Your double standard of "it's ok because I was underage too," versus "I'm an adult and have responsibilities" is so gross. Your friend is 20 and not a child. YOU, however, need to try to be more of an adult. You know what would be more "adult"? Thinking before your open your mouth.

I'd be stepping away from that "friendship" indefinitely.

This just highlights how bizarre it is that the drinking age is 21 in the US. It's 18 in the UK, and in many countries such as Germany and Belgium It's younger than that (16). If you're old enough to leave school, vote, have sex, get married, drive a car and join the military then you're old enough to make your own choices regarding alcohol.

Bridezilla's wedding is all about alcohol? Her entire event is centered around everybody drinking??? Maybe she should exclude any alcoholics and non-drinkers she knows too, that way her entire reception can get soused together. If you need to be rip roaring drunk to have fun at your wedding, you have a problem. N

It seems like at this point so many of these are just people making stuff up for the fun of it. I wonder if these stories are even really true, or are people just posting them for attention?

20 is not a child. Bartenders card people. Grow up and a) just tell Mel why she really isn't invited, if you have an actual reason, b) Own your lack of reason, and tell Mel and everyone else that she isn't invited because you just don't like her. or c) Suck it up, apologise for being b****y and condescending, and tell her of course she's invited.

I feel so sorry for the groom. He's going to show up for the "child-free" wedding and be alone at the altar.

If we want to get technical she isn't even allowed at her own wedding as she is a child of her parents. Child free wedding tends to aim for prepubescent under 10ish. But still the national age of adulthood is 18 so regardless she's just being stupid and ugh idk she's just gross. Sadly she probably wants kids in the future and imagine her as a parent.

And heres me remembering all the wedding i went to as a "kid" and all them had alcohol and......it was fine

The legal drinking age in my country is 18, because you're adult as 18

I'm just glad Mel found out how OP really feels about her. Hopefully she doesn't go even if she does decide to invite her.

When my hubs and I got married, he was almost 22 and I had just turned 20. We served alcohol and didn’t worry about it. The bartender handled it. We served sparkling cider for the toast. My sister was my MOH and she was 16 at the time. You adjust. This is an a-hole move.

Who died and made this b**** the queen of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms? Invite this girl and maybe gently remind her she may get carded.

What is all that about carding? It's not a public event. Or are you saying that even privately you cannot have your teenagers toast with you?! That is a real surprise.

This post clearly shows that many people over 21 are only technically adults and truly still very immature. OP is a perfect example.

You're both acting like children but OP is @$$hole. Mel shouldn't be talking behind your back but OP started this whole fiasco being a bad friend and acting superior. I wondering if "The Church Lady" song will play at the wedding so OP can do her superior dance in front of everyone.

Have the bartender card her. Ask the bartender to serve her nonalcoholic beverages. Don't lose a friend over this, but allow the bartender to do their job.

The question I think she should have is AITA, as in, am I the alcoholic. But I have a different perspective. My prediction, that marriage will not survive the 7 year itch.

I don't understand this logic. I've been to many weddings where alcohol was served and children were there. So excluding a 20 year old friend and calling her a child makes the bride a major a*****e - it's not about preventing underage drinking at all but wanting to be a b***h to someone who once saw her as a friend.

While OP is being absolutely ridiculous, it's not necessarily true that the bartender is solely responsible for whether the friend drinks at the wedding. Whether OP is responsible for underage drinking depends on the state: "In addition, many states have laws that provide that “social hosts” are responsible for underage drinking events on property they own, lease, or otherwise control, whether or not the social host actually provides the alcohol." (https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0388-alcohol-laws-state). The US's patchwork of laws can be wildly different from state to state.

Had some relatives pull something just as boneheaded for my aunt's 5th wedding. They requested it be child free and made a pretty big deal about it, ok cool that's fair enough. Thing is though, in my rather large extended family the ONLY person who had a kid at the time was the bride's eldest daughter! The rest of us (excluding again, the BRIDE'S youngest daughter who was in highschool) were well over 18 yet all childless either by choice or simply not having started a family of our own yet. Nor were any of us in a relationship situation that involved kids. So the only conclusion we could come to was that she didn't want any of her siblings children there. Several of us cousins decided we simply wouldn't go and RSVPd no. What else were we supposed to think when they really made a stink about no kids? Turned out to be the smart decision. My aunt and her eldest turned up roaring drunk when they'd been specifically asked not to drink before hand by the pastor. (my uncle/her brother)

So I'll just focus on another thing about this that is really irking me. What is this sudden holier than thou attitude that makes you feel it's YOUR responsibility to prevent underage drinking in the 365 days you became of legal age to drink? Like what is going through your head?? And, no, I don't actually want to know cuz that would involve hearing more about what kind of person you are and I can already tell you're an insufferable kind. Everyone else has already covered the reasons why you are in the wrong and how incredibly rude your move was to your friend and how you could have gotten around not inviting her (which truly seems like your only ACTUAL motivation) in a much more tactful fashion that would have prevented hurting the feelings of your so-called "friend" or belittling her.