Join the Fun!

deadcommand , Nataliya Vaitkevich/pexels Report

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be In this economy? You have your question backwards. It should be “people who want kids, why.”

Final score:

90points

POST

Linda Riebel 2 months ago

Amen! I asked a therapy client why she wanted kids and she sat stunned and speechless. Didn't have an answer.

29points

Worried-Medicine-664 , Pixabay/pexels Report

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Why would I want kids? Personally, I can’t think of a single compelling reason to have them. Kids deserve a parent who wants them, not someone who just tolerates them.

Final score:

85points

POST

Verfin22 2 months ago

I'm struggling to keep my dogs well taken care of. They love me to bits and almost never talk back😆🐶. Seriously the world is over-populated enough and going down the crapper the more I age(44).

14points

AlienSandwhich , Alex Green/pexels Report

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be There are too many reasons to list, but the biggest is probably just that it seems cruel to me to willingly raise someone in this world.

Final score:

61points

POST

Kathy Richardson 2 months ago

When I had my kids the world wasn't as bad, but I look at it now and wish I had never had them because my grand kids are in this hellscape and now they have to choose whether os not to bring kids into this catastrophe waiting to happen.

4points

gneiss_kitty , Michelangelo Buonarroti/pexels Report

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Why should I want them??

Reasons I don't:

* kids are expensive. I like spending money on travel and fun s**t
* I like my freedom. And sleep.
* I have terrible genetics. It would just be plain unfair to pass those on.
* On top of that, I'm pretty sure I'd have the worst f*****g pregnancy possible.
* I live in the US. That means it's expensive just to pop the damn thing out, there's very little social safety net, childcare is more expensive than rent, and even working for the government, I'd get 12 weeks paid parental leave, which is still nowhere near enough (but still way better than most jobs).
* I don't personally think it's very fair to bring kids into the shitshow that is our world currently.
* I don't really like kids. I love my nieces...in fairly small doses. More and more as they get older. But, I enjoy being the cool, quirky aunt, that brings them fun little gifts from various travels, with lots of cool stories, and fun experiences when they visit me. I can handle that responsibility and enjoy it for a few days at a time, then I'm totally drained. That's enough for me.
* I'm not a broodmare, and I have more purpose in life than just being a walking incubator for another life.

But the only reason that matters:

* I just plain don't want them, and kids deserve having a parent that wants them.

Final score:

60points

POST

PewPew 2 months ago

I love my role as the "cool, quirky aunt."

18points

adambl82 , cottonbro studio/pexels Report

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be It's not the only reason, but one fear I've had is a special needs kid that would require constant care for the rest of my life.

Final score:

54points

POST

sturmwesen 2 months ago

Valid reason. Better than getting pregnant and being overwhelmed after.

19points

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I struggle with anxiety and anger issues and I wouldn’t want to pass that on to my child or have them have to grow up dealing with my anxieties and anger episodes. I just couldn’t do it and it wouldn’t be fair to them. Plus it’s real expensive. I’d rather have a life of peace and quiet and travel to figure myself out. To the moms: you guys are tough saints.

anon , RDNE Stock project/pexels Report

Final score:

54points

POST

Lace Neil 2 months ago

I have clinical depression and anxiety. Some days, I can barely look after myself, let alone anyone else. That's one of the reasons why I don't have children.

16points

donatos_box , MART PRODUCTION/pexels Report

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Here’s a lot of the things pregnancy can do to someone’s body:

Normal, frequent or expectable temporary side effects of pregnancy:

exhaustion (weariness common from first weeks), altered appetite and senses of taste and smell, nausea and vomiting (50% of women, first trimester), heartburn and indigestion, constipation, weight gain, dizziness and light-headedness, bloating, swelling, fluid retention, hemorrhoids, abdominal cramps, yeast infections, congested, bloody nose, acne and mild skin disorders, skin discoloration (chloasma, face and abdomen), mild to severe backache and strain, increased headaches, difficulty sleeping and discomfort while sleeping, increased urination and incontinence, bleeding gums, pica, breast pain and discharge, swelling of joints, leg cramps, joint pain, difficulty sitting, standing in later pregnancy, inability to take regular medications, shortness of breath, higher blood pressure, hair loss or increased facial/body hair, tendency to anemia, curtailment of ability to participate in some sports and activities, urinary tract infections, infection including from serious and potentially fatal disease (pregnant women are immune suppressed compared with non-pregnant women, and are more susceptible to fungal and certain other diseases), extreme pain on delivery, hormonal mood changes, including normal postpartum depression, continued postpartum exhaustion and recovery period (exacerbated if a c-section -- major surgery -- is required, sometimes taking up to a full year to fully recover)

Normal, expectable, or frequent PERMANENT side effects of pregnancy:

stretch marks (worse in younger women), loose skin, permanent weight gain or redistribution, abdominal and vaginal muscle weakness, pelvic floor disorder (occurring in as many as 35% of middle-aged former child-bearers and 50% of elderly former child-bearers, associated with urinary and rectal incontinence, discomfort and reduced quality of life -- aka prolapsed uterus, the malady sometimes badly fixed by the transvaginal mesh), changes to breasts, increased foot size, varicose veins, permanent changes in vision, scarring from episiotomy or c-section, vaginal, perineal, and/or clitoral tearing during delivery (90% of births cause some degree of tearing). These can lead to permanent issues such as incontinence, pain during intercourse, and the loss of the ability to have a clitoral orgasm. other permanent aesthetic changes to the body (all of these are downplayed because the culture values youth and beauty), increased proclivity for hemorrhoids, loss of dental and bone calcium (cavities, tooth loss, and osteoporosis), higher lifetime risk of developing Alzheimer's, newer research indicates microchimeric cells, other bi-directional exchanges of DNA, chromosomes, and other bodily material between fetus and mother (including with "unrelated" gestational surrogates)

Occasional complications and side effects:

complications of episiotomy, spousal/partner abuse, hyperemesis gravidarum, temporary and permanent injury to back, severe scarring requiring later surgery, (especially after additional pregnancies), dropped (prolapsed) uterus (especially after additional pregnancies, and other pelvic floor weaknesses -- 11% of women, including cystocele, rectocele, and enterocele), pre-eclampsia (edema and hypertension, the most common complication of pregnancy, associated with eclampsia, and affecting 7 - 10% of pregnancies), eclampsia (convulsions, coma during pregnancy or labor, high risk of death), gestational diabetes, placenta previa, anemia (which can be life-threatening), thrombocytopenic purpura, severe cramping, embolism (blood clots), medical disability requiring full bed rest (frequently ordered during part of many pregnancies varying from days to months for health of either mother or baby), diastasis recti also torn abdominal muscles, mitral valve stenosis (most common cardiac complication), serious infection and disease (e.g. increased risk of tuberculosis), hormonal imbalance, ectopic pregnancy (risk of death), broken bones (ribcage, spine, hips, "tail bone"), hemorrhage and numerous other complications of delivery, refractory gastroesophageal reflux disease, aggravation of pre-pregnancy diseases and conditions (e.g. epilepsy is present in .5% of pregnant women, and the pregnancy alters d**g metabolism and treatment prospects all the while it increases the number and frequency of seizures), severe postpartum depression and psychosis, research now indicates a possible link between ovarian cancer and female fertility treatments, including "egg harvesting" from infertile women and donors, research also now indicates correlations between lower breast cancer survival rates and proximity in time to onset of cancer of last pregnancy, research also indicates a correlation between having six or more pregnancies and a risk of coronary and cardiovascular disease

Less common (but serious) complications:

peripartum cardiomyopathy, cardiopulmonary arrest, magnesium toxicity, severe hypoxemia/acidosis, massive embolism, increased intracranial pressure, brain stem infarction, molar pregnancy, gestational trophoblastic disease (like a pregnancy-induced cancer), malignant arrhythmia, circulatory collapse, placental abruption, obstetric fistula

More permanent side effects:

future infertility, permanent disability, Obstetric Fistula, Death

And then after all of that, you have a newborn to take care of who depends on you to live for the next 18 years minimum.

No thank you.

Final score:

54points

POST

Linda Riebel 2 months ago

This list is a gift for those on the fence!

34points

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Look, I love kids. I WORK with kids. But at the end of the day I return home, to a childfree environment, where I can relax and not worry about mysterious sticky spots or stepping on Legos. I mean, I can imagine being a parent during the fun and cute moments. But I know those are few and far between.

Basically, there's no way I'd bring a child into this world unless I was fully committed to raising and loving them. And I'm not, so I won't.

Willowed-Wisp , Pixabay/pexels Report

Final score:

46points

POST

doredde 2 months ago

Very reflected.

4points

ForsakenHummus , Tirachard Kumtanom/pexels Report

#10

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I can barely take care of myself as it is.

Final score:

44points

POST

Janelle Collard Premium 2 months ago

Same.

1point

#11

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I'm a mom. I love my little rugrat. I can still give you 100 reasons why you shouldn't have kids.

anon , Brett Sayles/pexels Report

Final score:

42points

POST

Alro 2 months ago

same here.

12points

#12

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Having a kid now is like having an exotic pet. You have to be really rich and kind of crazy.

beandip111 , KoolShooters/pexels Report

Final score:

36points

POST

May 2 months ago

In the US I guess, where you're actually allowed to have exotic pets. In Nigeria, where average is 5 to 7 kids, the moms are neither rich, nor crazy.

3points

Poopysnooperkins , Keira Burton/pexels Report

#13

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I have 2 under the age of 2 and I'm regretting it so much. I've never really liked kids but wanted to experience being a mother and I thought I would definitely love my own and i really do.... but it's incredibly draining and overwhelming. I've never been so miserable.

Final score:

35points

POST

Nota Robot 2 months ago

Poor kids...

10points

#14

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I grew up with a brother 10 years younger than i am. Went from changing his diapers to teaching him how to mod minecraft.

Left to goto college. I call him nearly every night, and we still watch anime an play video games together theough discord calls.

I already had my kid. Hes called my little brother. Just wish i understood my familys financial situation sooner.

oxidezblood , Marta Wave /pexels Report

Final score:

34points

POST

athornedrose 2 months ago

amen. parentified eldest kids already raised our siblings. we're done. we don't need to do this again. it was stressful enough the first time.

21points

waterbed87 , Pavel Danilyuk/pexels Report

#15

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I live in the United States, last thing I need is to provide healthcare for yet another human being. Not to mention future prospects seem pretty bleek in the U.S. so bringing a kid into this s**t hole would just be sort of mean.

Final score:

34points

POST

Linda Riebel 2 months ago

bleak

8points

anxiousoneisme , cottonbro studio/pexels Report

#16

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Myself (f31) and fiance (m33) have been together 12 years, no kids. Within past few years we've both finally got jobs we've been working towards and a nice income. We like our life, being able to go away for a night or two or out for nice meals as we can afford it. Then have quiet evenings watching Netflix. Neither of us want a child enough to actually have one. We talk about it frequently to check we're on the same page. Working well for us.

Final score:

34points

POST

Jen Mead 2 months ago

You sound exactly like me and my husband. We married very young, and we weren't ready to be parents. Everyone said "you'll change your mind" and I was quite prepared to believe that we would. We promised each other we would not, however, have kids until we were both ready and both WANTED kids. We've checked in with each other often to make sure we're on the same page, and we always have been. Nope. Don't want 'em. Like our life just the way it is. Check again? Actually, the older we get, the less parental we feel. Window closing? Now or never? Totally fine with the never. We're in our 50s now and have not regretted it for an instant.

5points

#17

1) I don’t like children, can’t relate to children, and feel uncomfortable around children.

2) I can’t justify birthing my own child when there are so many foster children without homes.

3) I can’t justify having a child at all with the lack of finances I have.

4) It would ruin my life to have a child, it would halt all the plans I have for my future. I could never bring a child into this world that I would resent for ruining my life. It’s not fair to the child or to me.

kathvrt Report

Final score:

33points

POST

devotedtodreams 2 months ago

Point #1 is exactly how I feel about children, and yet I rarely ever hear anyone say it this clearly. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one, OP! ♥

14points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#18

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I enjoy freedom, I enjoy my relationship exactly as it is, I have a major fear of being pregnant, I like having money. Oh and I don’t like babies or kids. The reasons are endless.

Feeling_Ad_2354 , Sora Shimazaki/pexels Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Janelle Collard Premium 2 months ago

All good reasons! Not everyone got the "mommy" gene. (*raises hand.)

12points

#19

I'm selfish. I don't want to change my lifestyle or put things on hold because I have kids. I want to sleep in. I want to spend money when I want. I want to travel without limitations. Plus, the reasons people give me as to why I should have kids are selfish. I think it's selfish to have kids so you can be taken care of when you're older. I think it's selfish to have kids just to carry on your lineage. I think it's selfish to have kids to try to make your life better.

I'm a 31 year old female and there hasn't been one point in my life where I've ever wanted kids. I'm happy for my friends and family that have them but f**k, it would make me absolutely miserable.

MrTorguesPsycho Report

Final score:

31points

POST

devotedtodreams 2 months ago

The whole argument of "someone to take care of you when you're older" is bullsh*t anyway. Having a kid is no guarantee for that - too often have I read about old folks in nursing homes whose kids rarely - or never - visit them.

23points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#20

Kids are innocent.

They don't ask to be brought into this world; and creating another human is not only a huge responsibility, it's one that's often taken WAY too lightly.

Kids only deserve our best. So if you aren't able to financially, emotionally, etc, support your kid, you shouldn't have a kid. If you aren't 110% positive you want a kid, you shouldn't have a kid. Because kids deserve our best. Not d**g houses, unloving parents, abuse, or poverty. They deserve our best.

People often have kids to save a marriage, or "because it's what you're supposed to do", or because they are coerced to, and I legitimately hate that.

Since I'm not 110% positive I want kids, that means it would be extremely irresponsible of me to have kids. So I "don't want kids".

Lord_Metagross Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Hans Georg 2 months ago

No problem. You only have to be 100% sure.

1point

External_Class_9456 , Rene Terp/pexels Report

#21

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be In case you haven't noticed, the world is a complete hell hole. I wouldn't want to force someone else into it.

Final score:

30points

POST

Linda Riebel 2 months ago

Um, I'm happily childfree, too, but the world is not a "complete" hell hole. When I'm discouraged I go to these websites: Mypositiveoutlooks.com, goodnewsnetwork.org, reasonstobecheerful.world, nicenews.com, and goodnewsnetwork.org There! I fixed it! (but feel free to go childfree if that's what you want).

13points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#22

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be I really love my wife, but she'd be a terrible parent. She's lazy, unreliable, and irresponsible. We're now in our mid 30s, and have been married for 10 years. I grew up, but she didn't.

And yet, I love her more than I want kids. But I've been putting off telling her how i feel regarding kids for a while, but she recently brought up having kids again, and now I'm going to need to face it.

I have communicated most of my issues to her, just never in the context of having kids (or not having them, I guess). Nothing changes, just more excuses.

Lazy-Equal4550 , Vera Arsic/pexels Report

Final score:

28points

POST

BrookeBT 2 months ago

Have the talk

15points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

#23

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Kids are a lifelong commitment to raise and care for another human, and I don’t think I’m capable of handling that. I like kids, but I don’t think I could raise one well, so I’m not going to try.

boymanpal , Samson Katt /pexels Report

Final score:

26points

POST

MC Scott 2 months ago

I’v heard so many people say they want a baby. Great!! But understand you’re signing up to parent through every other life stage, and all of them have different challenges.

7points

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#24

Don’t make enough money to support them and me among other reasons.

anon Report

Final score:

26points

POST

CG 2 months ago

I can barely support myself. It would be a bad idea for me to try and support a child at the same time.

6points

#25

Because it’s a lifetime commitment to taking care of another human being, when I don’t have to.

Parkerinfante Report

Final score:

26points

POST

#26

I realized while babysitting when I was younger that I don’t find the daily tasks that excellent parenting requires to be interesting or satisfying.

MyNextVacation Report

Final score:

25points

POST

doredde 2 months ago

THIS!

5points

#27

I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

No-Pin3379 Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Luke Branwen 2 months ago

I understood that reference

7points

#28

“Can’t Relate To Children”: 30 People Share Why They’re Not Parents Yet And Might Never Be Not only have I lost the desire thanks to retail, but also I just always felt that kids make a wedge between couples. They end up dedicating everything to the children and fail to give each other at least 25% of their attention. That can either seriously harm or even destroy a relationship.

anon , Brett Sayles/pexels Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Lucky Hemlock 2 months ago (edited)

Having worked many many years in Retail, I can certainly relate! You see the worst behavior of children and mothers, but listening to screaming kids every day just grates on your nerves. It was one of the reasons I went child-free, and I don't regret it one bit!

7points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#29

I can't afford to give a child the quality life I want for them yet.

Edit: I think it's important that everyone remembers that quality life may not mean the same thing to everyone, and there are multiple factors that influence quality of life.

Some people may feel financial pressure because they can't provide basic essentials, while at the same time, some people may the feel the same pressure because they can't provide a private school education. Some people may feel they don't have quality time to dedicate to raising a child and might be putting their career first for awhile. Some people may have moved multiple times in their lives and will only feel secure when they have a stable home to provide a child. You do not have to be rich to have children. But you do have to be in a place in your life where you prepared to provide for them, love them, show up for them, and help them when they need it. This includes making sure that ones self is also mentally and emotionally prepared to make that commitment and follow through.

It's not just money. It's not just time. It's not just assets or liabilities. It's not just mental health. It's all of it and it looks different for everyone.

Please keep your judgments to yourself.

ohheyhihellothere25 Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Becca not Becky 2 months ago

This should be at the top. Everyone should read this one before they have kids and before they judge someone for not doing so.

1point

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"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#30

I don't feel like raising a child or giving birth to one. It's way too stressful. I'd rather get married and enjoy life with my spouse.

detective_kiara Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Note: this post originally had 43 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

Read less »

Greta is a Photo Editor-in-Chief at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication.In 2016, she graduated from Digital Advertising courses where she had an opportunity to meet and learn from industry professionals. In the same year, she started working at Bored Panda as a photo editor.Greta is a coffeeholic and cannot survive a day without 5 cups of coffee... and her cute, big-eared dog.Her biggest open secret: she is a gamer with a giant gaming backlog.

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I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

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What do you think ?

POST

Gavin Johnson 2 months ago

Incorrect title.. It should read. 43 people STATE their case, they aren’t guilty or accused of anything, they don’t have to plead anything at all. Normalise NOT having children eh?

22points

devotedtodreams 2 months ago

This! Not having children is not a sin or anything. Also, I am very adamant about being called "childfree" instead of "childless", as I most definitely don't see the absence of children in my life as any kind of deficit.

6points

Schnitzel 2 months ago

Why does this have to be a debate?? You have kids? Great. No kids? Great. It's all bloody great!

18points

May 2 months ago

For real !!!! Both extreme parts are annoying. 'Children are annoying with their sticky fingers and legos (real post on the thread), It's so much better to focus yourself ' vs. 'Western women only care about their careers, if you're not 24 with children you're a fool, good luck being eaten by your cats and die alone'.

4points

UKGrandad 2 months ago

All valid reasons, but there's one obvious answer that's missing. Why don't I want kids? Because mind your own business, that's why.

14points

Alro 2 months ago

Next: "people who have kids: why?"

10points

highwaycrossingfrog 2 months ago

I'm actually quite curious to know the answer. To me it seems like the worst idea in the world and a no-brainer to stay child-free

2points

Mia Black 2 months ago

the fact that there are more and more articles like this feels good to me. I feel understood and less alone. Since my childhood and up to now, there have been far too many people who think I am abnormal because, as a female, I don't want children. Biologically, this viewpoint is certainly not entirely wrong, but we humans already see so many things as normal that have absolutely nothing to do with naturalness. We think we are the most highly developed. So we should actually act like that. Instead, we are becoming more and more people and cannot cope with it with the resources available. We are becoming more and more and thereby increasing the suffering of people, animals and the environment. Pure reproduction has also never been healthy in nature. That is why, among other things, there are predators or nowadays hunters who limit the population so that, for example, not too many animals have to go hungry.... I am sad about the future of the next generations of living beings

4points

Roland Nijveld 2 months ago

Dislike being around them

3points

The Other Guest 2 months ago

I've said it before & I'll say it again: Kids are like tarantulas. I don't actually dislike them, but I don't want them running around my living room, either.

3points

kansasmagic 2 months ago

I have four kids and can confidently say - I think I'd rather have the tarantulas running around my living room. Less mess and fun for the cats.

2points

Pandora 2 months ago

Bad genetics. Mental illness runs rampant in my family. I don't want to pass that on.

3points

Erin Hardcastle 2 months ago

Exactly!! I'm mad at my own parents for passing that on to me when they knew their family's histories.

0points

Lucky Hemlock 2 months ago

I have a genetic condition that I seriously don't want to pass on to a child. It's caused so many health problems for me in my life, and made earning a wage difficult, that I just cannot fathom the cruelty of deliberately bringing a child into the world who will end up suffering like I did. And into this sh*tshow of a world, no less.

2points

DC and S 2 months ago

Or it just doesn't work for you biologically, even if you wanted them.

1point

kansasmagic 2 months ago

It's called reproductive freedom, people. You don't want kids? Fine; no one can compel you to (or, rather, *shouldn't* compel you to). You do? Also fine, and you don't owe an explanation to anyone else.

1point

zovjraar me 2 months ago

i just know that even being on meds for 20+ years, i still have times when i wish i hadn't been born. why would i do that to someone else?

1point

Guess Undheit 2 months ago

Remember: the anti-abortion nutbag rightwing fanatics want more than forced birth, they want legalized rape. And the ones pushing hardest for it are white males, terrified of the fact that by 2050 less than 50% of the yank population will be white. This is why they don't have a problem with Black women being six times more likely than white women to die during childbirth.

1point

Tristan J 2 months ago

This article seems less about normalising not having kids, and more about judging those who have them

1point

TheBlueBitterfly 2 months ago

Yes. While I'm all for letting people make their own choice about having children, don't do it by demonizing and belittling those who do choose to have kids. Equality doesnt happen by bringing one side down, but by raising the other side. Every equality fight ends up swinging too far the wrong direction and demonizing the "normal" or "advantaged" side.

0points

cerinamroth 2 months ago

I can't believe that, of all these reasons, no one has mentioned climate change. I do have kids, but it's a major reason not to that makes absolute sense to me.

1point

James King 2 months ago

Because most people realize that the fear-mongering around climate change is deliberate, and is all about increasing governmental control. Notice how any proposed "solution" is a political one, not a scientific one? That should be your first clue. Notice how the political solutions involve huge transfers of wealth from the most successful Western economies to developing nations while demanding nothing but promises from the world's worst polluters? That should be your second. The planet's fine. The climate's fine. The people are screwed.

0points

Kristal 2 months ago

I've already helped to raise my younger sister (10 years apart) and, unfortunately I was the eldest of an extremely emotionally immature single mother. Due to all the mental/emotional abuse I endured growing up, plus from my ex-fiance, I'm going to need someone emotionally mature to be my forever person cause I know im going to be emotionally draining (mostly for constant reassurances of love). So, not only do I not want children for many reasons already listed, I don't even want to find a significant other that has a child because I don't want to pull that emotional energy from the parent, I want that to go to the child, they need it growing up. My mother had me because, after numerous miscarriages, the doctor said she couldn't have children. Well, she wanted to prove him wrong. We both almost died. She was told not to have anymore children cause it could really mess her up physically in the reproductive area of the body. Well, she had to prove that doc wrong too and she suffers for i

1point

Cee Cee 2 months ago

Listening to parents many seem to have had kids as an insurance policy for their later years. Me? No kids, too detrimental for the environment especially first world ones.

1point

rokkabety813 2 months ago

I'm Is a product of my father second marriage.. I have 3 half brothers that are 13,14,and 15 years respectively older than myself. My father didn't want another child, after Eight years of my mother nagging and he finally gave in and thus here I am. He made no secret that I was my mother's idea and He was my friend more than anything because he was done with parenting. It worked out because he and I are both extremely intelligent..to a point where It's Difficult to find people who can understand The way you speak in the way we think. Because he's my best friend more than a father he Never pretended I was his idea. As far back as I can remember he was clear that Having children is grossly overrated. He spoke of it in a practical sense like he will never get a return on your investment fiscally. He only needed to mention How much i've already passed me as a child In the unlikelihood that He would ever get any of that back. Then he talked about the Is weight of the responsibility as well as the stress in anxiety that children bring. But above all knowing me I would have a very difficult time Being a mother because I Had a hard time not doing what I want when I want. Not so much selfish but I don't like having to sacrifice my happiness or desires to appease others. I've always been extremely independent and strong willed. Never been known for being very patient. I wasn't good with kids when I was one, I always preferred the company of adults Because I was years ahead of my peers Both emotionally and intellectually. I don't have the personality that is required to be a good mother. I have a mother Who definitely did not Cause that's the qualities necessary to be a Mother. She only wanted a kid because in her generation I think he was almost required and I think she just saw that once all her friends got married had kids so She also wanted each other even though she didn't have the necessary characteristics her motherhood. I don't know where's a child of watching her Volatile temper tantrun Throwing personality thinking This woman needs to grow up because she's embarrassing, My five year old self recognized that my mother Was behaving as a pedgeling child while I Help make me adult any many situations. I never felt any kind of bond with her Growing up And I absolutely hate her for the longest time. As an adult my hatred wayne and you just indifference. All conversations are very superficial Because I find trying to open up And explain to her the things on me working on Trying to get her to understand is exhausting And she always gets angry because she believes I Go out of my way to make her feel stupid, And I don't have to go out of my way to make her feel dumb, Something.I definitely don't have to go out of my way to do. My father passed away a few years ago And my mother still has no idea The reason she has no grandchildren is because I believe my father all but brainwashed any kind of Biological instinct to have children out of me from day one. All I think of when I picture having children is the expense Not just to my bank account But to my piece of mind as well. But I think above all is giving up Knowing that I And able to do as I want when I want And my life is dictated Entirely around my happiness and pursuing my dreams. I'm also terrified. I'm also terrified that I would be A terrible mother , just like my mother was because I really never had a decent role model... My mother was terrible thus making my childhood miserable. And my father Wasn't very good when I came to parenting, He and I were only extremely close because I was such an unusual child And he and I were extremely similar In the way we thought the way you spoke. We had the same Interest and share the same dark dry humor. He Never bother trying to give me any Is kind of rules such as a curfew or punishment. First I never really got in the trouble because I found it much easier to get by l Just going on notice instead of Bringing attention to myself that may backfire... And on top of that if I was doing something I knew Would ainder my father I made sure he wouldn't find out. He was very aware No matter what he said I was gonna do what I wanted to do And I was smart enough To avoid game found out so His philosophy was why Bother giving you rules and having a disobedient kid, You're going to do what you wantYou're gonna do what you want anyway?Why bother even trying to stop you? As long as I maintain the aid four point a 4.0 GPA and Didn't ruin my life by getting pregnant in high school All the time I was sixteen and had a car and a job I didn't even have to come For days on end the matter is a weekend or a week day.... And If my dad hadn't seen me a few days My dad would just call the make sure I was alive but Where I was or what I was doing didn't matter. If my mom tried to implement any kind of rules I would just Pressure off and tell her to consult with Dad, If I had zero respect for her. What if I was as bad as her at motherhood,...Terrif

0points

bbfa 2 months ago

I was raised by a narcissist dad and a paranoid mom. Their line stops here.

0points

Michael Largey 2 months ago

"Having children is giving hostages to fortune." My father died suddenly with five children, the oldest 15, leaving my mother with few resources to provide for us. Men in my family rarely live long. I didn't want any child to go through what my siblings and I went through.

0points

stars.for.kaylee 2 months ago

I feel for me personally, a child’s mental state is so delicate, if I baby them that could hurt them, if I’m tough on them that could hurt them, if I try to be their friend that could hurt them, if I do what’s best for them, it could hurt them. They’re just so fragile, and no one knows if anyone is parenting the right way. It’s an impossible situation all around so I’ve decided to not risk messing them up at all and just not have kids.

0points

kath morgan 2 months ago

I have no especial desire to. I feel a lot of pressure around kids to perform correctly, it makes me anxious. Kids would be disruptive to my home and lifestyle. My partner doesn’t want kids and I wouldn’t want to do it alone. I worry about disappearing into motherhood and losing myself. Many reasons.

0points

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Gavin Johnson 2 months ago

Incorrect title.. It should read. 43 people STATE their case, they aren’t guilty or accused of anything, they don’t have to plead anything at all. Normalise NOT having children eh?

22points

devotedtodreams 2 months ago

6points

Schnitzel 2 months ago

Why does this have to be a debate?? You have kids? Great. No kids? Great. It's all bloody great!

18points

May 2 months ago

4points

UKGrandad 2 months ago

All valid reasons, but there's one obvious answer that's missing. Why don't I want kids? Because mind your own business, that's why.

14points

Alro 2 months ago

Next: "people who have kids: why?"

10points

highwaycrossingfrog 2 months ago

I'm actually quite curious to know the answer. To me it seems like the worst idea in the world and a no-brainer to stay child-free

2points

Mia Black 2 months ago

4points

Roland Nijveld 2 months ago

Dislike being around them

3points

The Other Guest 2 months ago

I've said it before & I'll say it again: Kids are like tarantulas. I don't actually dislike them, but I don't want them running around my living room, either.

3points

kansasmagic 2 months ago

I have four kids and can confidently say - I think I'd rather have the tarantulas running around my living room. Less mess and fun for the cats.

2points

Pandora 2 months ago

Bad genetics. Mental illness runs rampant in my family. I don't want to pass that on.

3points

Erin Hardcastle 2 months ago

Exactly!! I'm mad at my own parents for passing that on to me when they knew their family's histories.

0points

Lucky Hemlock 2 months ago

2points

DC and S 2 months ago

Or it just doesn't work for you biologically, even if you wanted them.

1point

kansasmagic 2 months ago

1point

zovjraar me 2 months ago

i just know that even being on meds for 20+ years, i still have times when i wish i hadn't been born. why would i do that to someone else?

1point

Guess Undheit 2 months ago

1point

Tristan J 2 months ago

This article seems less about normalising not having kids, and more about judging those who have them

1point

TheBlueBitterfly 2 months ago

0points

cerinamroth 2 months ago

I can't believe that, of all these reasons, no one has mentioned climate change. I do have kids, but it's a major reason not to that makes absolute sense to me.

1point

James King 2 months ago

0points