Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app

Continue in app Continue in browser

6Kviews

171 Cheesy Jokes We Don’t Feel Guilty Laughing At

ADVERTISEMENT

We aren’t here to divide jokes into categories based on their intellectual qualities, but with this topic, we just couldn’t help ourselves. In fact, putting these whimsies into a category of low-brow makes them even funnier and climactic for those considered to be somewhat connoisseurs of laughs (us included). Do you have an idea what we are talking about here? Oh yes, it’s cheesy jokes - the lame jokes that make you laugh against your own free will, no matter how much you try to keep that sour expression on your face. These silly jokes seem to melt any pucker away and give you a heartfelt belly laugh that’s like heavenly elation. Hence our collection of the best cheesy jokes ever, all in one place, all pret-a-porter for you, dear readers.

But what about the history of this glorious expression? Well, there are a couple of theories, but the first known usage of ‘cheesy’ was noted in 1858 as part of British slang. However, at that time, cheesy meant ‘fine.’ Same as cheese, we guess? However, just a couple of decades later, in 1896, U.S. student slang had already turned ‘cheesy’ into something a bit more along the lines of contemporary slang, and for them, cheesy was an ‘ignorant person’ or something ‘cheap and inferior.’ So, I guess they were the first to actually invent ‘ironic reversal,’ a language tool that we just love to overuse these days. Anyhoo, we think these funny, cheesy jokes are a nice continuation in the evolution of the term, and once you read them, you might agree with us, too.

So, ready or not, some cheese-tastically hilarious jokes are coming your way. You know where to find them - just a little bit further down, of course. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote and share this article with anyone who cannot resist the charms of a bit of cheesiness in their day.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.

I said it must be my weekend immune system.

15points

#2

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

"Are you having a cry-sis?"

13points

#3

My boss told me to have a good day.

So I went home.

13points

#4

My wife told me I have no sense of direction.

I was so mad at her, I packed up my stuff and right.

12points

#5

I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

11points

ADVERTISEMENT

#6

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn".

Stupid firefighters!

10points

#7

Why are there no unemployed farmers?

They can get a job in any field.

10points

#8

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know Y.

10points

ADVERTISEMENT

#9

To the person who stole my glasses:

I will find you. I have contacts.

10points

#10

I asked my wife if I'm the only one she's ever slept with.

"Yes," she said. "All the other guys were nines or tens."

9points

ADVERTISEMENT

#11

Some people say that I'm self-centered.

But enough about them.

9points

#12

What word starts with "e," ends with "e," and only has one letter in it?

Envelope.

9points

#13

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.

9points

#14

Why are spiders so smart?

They can find everything on the web.

9points

#15

I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I accidentally used my organ donor card instead of my debit card.

Cost me an arm and a leg!

8points

#16

I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg.

8points

ADVERTISEMENT

#17

What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?

1Forrest1.

8points

Federico Guerrero-Isaza 2 years ago

*Gump by Weird Al plays*

0points

#18

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

8points

Ryan Pittaluga 11 months ago

so good

0points

#19

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music.

8points

#20

Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed?

Because it would blow his cover.

7points

#21

My wife asked me if I thought our kids were spoiled.

I said, "No, I think all kids smell like that."

7points

#22

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?

A barber-queue.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#23

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

7points

#24

Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone.

I threw it in the ocean.

7points

#25

At first, I thought my chiropractor wasn’t any good.

But now I stand corrected.

7points

#26

Why are balloons so expensive?

Inflation.

7points

#27

Why is it hard to understand volunteers?

Because they make no cents.

7points

#28

What do you call a hippie’s wife?

Mississippi.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#29

What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry after dinner?

He went back four seconds.

7points

#30

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

“GRRRAAAIIINNNNS!”

7points

Scary Laugh 2 years ago

Swedes

0points

#31

What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc.

7points

#32

Which bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh.

7points

#33

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

7points

#34

Dogs can't operate MRI machines.

But catscan.

7points

ADVERTISEMENT

#35

My dad was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer.

But he could never pass the bar.

6points

#36

Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.

February 14th.

6points

#37

Why do teenage girls walk in groups of three, five, and seven?

Because they literally can't even.

6points

#38

What kind of jokes does a quarantined dad tell?

Inside jokes.

6points

#39

Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?

He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#40

Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage?

Because every play has a cast.

6points

#41

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?

Because it’s pointless.

6points

#42

RIP, boiling water.

You will be mist.

6points

#43

I ordered a chicken and an egg online.

I’ll let you know what comes first.

6points

#44

I decided to sell the vacuum cleaner.

It was just gathering dust.

6points

#45

I finally watched that documentary on clocks.

It was about time.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#46

Why are elevator jokes so good?

They work on many levels.

6points

#47

What’s the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories?

Leave the pizza in the oven.

6points

#48

How do you cure a fear of a speed bump?

You slowly get over it.

6points

#49

I have a scary joke about math, but I'm 2² to say it.

6points

#50

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

6points

#51

Once I was kidnapped by mimes.

They did unspeakable things to me.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#52

I got so excited that spring is here.

I accidentally wet my plants.

6points

#53

I have a few jokes about retired people.

None of them work, though.

6points

#54

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

6points

#55

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

He had no body to go with.

6points

#56

What washes up on very small beaches?

Microwaves.

6points

#57

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep?

Because of his coffin.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#58

You know what the loudest pet you can get is?

A trumpet.

6points

#59

What do you call a factory that sells good products?

A satis-factory.

6points

#60

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

6points

#61

What do you call a man that irons clothes?

Iron Man.

6points

#62

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his snack?

He was shellfish.

6points

#63

How do you impress a baker?

Bring him flours.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#64

How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?

With a cow-culator.

6points

#65

I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap.

6points

#66

What does a baby computer call his father?

Data.

6points

#67

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

6points

#68

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.

6points

#69

Where do fruits go on vacation?

Pear-is.

6points

ADVERTISEMENT

#70

I bought a pen that can write underwater.

It can write other words as well!

5points

#71

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.

Now I can't read anything!

5points

#72

The first photograph of a black hole was released.

It sucks.

5points

#73

If alcohol can damage your short term memory…

Imagine the damage alcohol can do!

5points

#74

On his deathbed, my grandfather said, "Remember these two words. It'll open a lot of doors for you in life…

Push and Pull."

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#75

If anyone gets a DM from me about canned meat, don't open it!

It's SPAM!

5points

#76

My mama always told me, "You are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.

I want to become a fun guy.

5points

#77

Someone threw a bottle of Omega-3 pills at me.

Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.

5points

#78

I once made a belt out of $50 bills.

It was a waist of money.

5points

#79

What smells like feet and tastes like fish?

Shoe-shi.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#80

I once paid $20 to see Prince live in concert.

But I partied like it was $19.99.

5points

#81

How do short people cut their pizza?

With Little Caesar's.

5points

#82

If I had 50 cents for every math test I failed, I'd have $8.40.

5points

#83

No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele.

That way, when someone asks if I play an instrument, I can say, "I play a little guitar."

5points

#84

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,

"You know, one would have been enough."

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#85

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

5points

#86

Why did the bike fall over?

It was two tired.

5points

#87

What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?

One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

5points

#88

Your mom and I let astrology get between us.

It just Taurus apart.

5points

#89

I'm so good at sleeping.

I can even do it with my eyes closed!

5points

#90

Mom said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

That would be a big step forward.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#91

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

5points

#92

Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him.

That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

5points

#93

My dog is a genius. I asked him, "What's two minus two?"

He said nothing.

5points

#94

Mom texted me from the grocery store to say they’re out of pasta.

And we’re penneless.

5points

#95

Justice is a dish best served cold.

If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#96

I used to hate facial hair.

But then it grew on me.

5points

#97

Most people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology.

I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.

5points

#98

I'm reading an anti-gravity book.

I just can't put it down.

5points

#99

I'd avoid the sushi if I were you.

It's a little fishy.

5points

#100

I used to be able to play piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#101

I failed my calculus exam, because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins.

I couldn’t differentiate between them.

5points

#102

Every night, I have hard time remembering something.

But then it dawns on me.

5points

#103

I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line.

5points

#104

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows.

They're making headlines.

5points

#105

My therapist told me I have problems expressing my emotions.

Can’t say I’m surprised.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#106

I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex.

So I can have watch dogs.

5points

#107

Why can’t you send a duck to space?

Because the bill would be astronomical.

5points

#108

What side of a tree grows the most branches?

The outside.

5points

#109

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

5points

#110

Why are peppers the best at archery?

Because they habanero.

5points

#111

Why did the computer get mad at the printer?

Because it didn’t like its toner voice.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#112

Why are nurses always running out of red crayons?

Because they often have to draw blood.

5points

#113

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?

It is either one or the utter.

5points

Michelle Thiel 2 years ago

*udder

1point

#114

What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

5points

#115

Why can’t you ever run through a campsite?

You can only ran — it’s always past tents.

5points

#116

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#117

Why is the cow always smiling?

It’s in a good moo-d, I guess.

5points

#118

Why did the coffee go to the police?

To report a mugging.

5points

#119

I had a joke about canned juice, but I couldn't concentrate.

5points

#120

My wife turned to me and said, "What starts with F and ends with K?"

I said, "No, it doesn't."

5points

#121

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

No, I don't think they'll fit me.

5points

#122

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

It let out a whine.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

See Also on Bored Panda

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#123

What do you call a man who is in a tree?

A branch manager.

5points

#124

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

5points

#125

What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?

A loose Canon.

5points

#126

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

5points

#127

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.

5points

#128

Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

They crack up too easily.

5points

ADVERTISEMENT

#129

What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

5points

#130

What do you call banana peel shoes?

Slippers.

5points

#131

Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on Earth?

It's pasteurized before you can even see it.

5points

#132

I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident.

My next poop could spell disaster!

4points

#133

I was so bored sitting at home that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

4points

#134

My friend said, "You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot."

It was a third-degree burn.

4points

ADVERTISEMENT

#135

I once walked in on my teachers making love.

Being homeschooled was never easy for me.

4points

#136

Where do mice park their boats?

At the Hickory Dickory Dock.

4points

#137

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest.

4points

#138

I wanted to eat a watch for lunch, but it was too time-consuming.

4points

#139

My toddler is refusing to nap.

He’s guilty of resisting a rest.

4points

#140

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

4points

ADVERTISEMENT

#141

I was once a personal trainer.

Until I got a too-weak notice.

4points

#142

What breed of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?

Any breed of dog. Skyscrapers can’t jump.

4points

#143

Did you hear about the square that got into a car accident?

Yeah, now he’s a rect-angle!

4points

#144

Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s Belt?

It’s a big waist of space.

4points

#145

What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?

He puts his PJ-Amazon.

4points

ADVERTISEMENT

#146

What does a pirate’s wife wear?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-mour.

4points

#147

Why did the tree go to the hospital?

Because it had a leaf problem.

4points

#148

Why was the student's report card wet?

It was below C level.

4points

#149

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy & z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

4points

#150

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

A Clausterphobic.

4points

#151

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts.

4points

ADVERTISEMENT

#152

How do you organize a space-themed party?

You planet.

4points

#153

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s fine, he woke up.

4points

#154

What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?

Don’t wok away from me!

4points

#155

Where can you buy soup in bulk?

The stock market.

4points

#156

What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?

Namaste.

4points

#157

What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?

Ketchup.

4points

ADVERTISEMENT

#158

What do cows most like to read?

Cattle-logs.

4points

#159

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore.

4points

#160

Why did the robber jump in the shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

4points

#161

Where does the electric cord go to shop?

An outlet mall.

4points

#162

Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist said I could be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle.

So I guess it was an ether/oar situation.

3points

ADVERTISEMENT

#163

I once had a hen who could count her own eggs.

She was a mathemachicken.

3points

#164

What animal builds buildings?

Boa constructors.

3points

#165

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

3points

#166

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse.

3points

#167

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon?

“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

3points

ADVERTISEMENT

#168

What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament?

Live stream it.

3points

#169

What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

3points

#170

What can you serve but never eat?

A volleyball.

3points

#171

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fungi.

2points

Viltė Domkutė

Viltė is a SEO List curator here at Bored Panda. She graduated in Applied Photography, so is no stranger to visual and artistic content. Despite her professional path, she also loves watching TV series, even could binge watch them all day long. Viltė also owns a pet crab at home, named Pūkis - Fluffy (spoiler alert: he's not fluffy at all).

Viltė is a SEO List curator here at Bored Panda. She graduated in Applied Photography, so is no stranger to visual and artistic content. Despite her professional path, she also loves watching TV series, even could binge watch them all day long. Viltė also owns a pet crab at home, named Pūkis - Fluffy (spoiler alert: he's not fluffy at all).

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

You May Like

‘Ends Humour’: 50 Spot-On Posts That May Leave You Chuckling At The Ridiculousness Of It All (New Pics)

Viktorija Ošikaitė

100 Funny Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust

Saimonas Lukošius

“What Is The Funniest Joke You’ve Been Told That You Still Think About To This Day?” (30 Answers)

Gabija Palšytė

Back to Homepage

More about Funny

Related on Bored Panda

Related on Bored Panda

Word Search

WordroW

Jigsaw

Crossword

Sudoku

Picdoku

Killer Sudoku

Kriss Kross

Word Flower

Trending on Bored Panda

Also on Bored Panda