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Although cats have that ‘speak well or stay silent’ presence on the internet, we here at Bored Panda are somewhat rebellious. So yup, we’re not afraid to do a compilation of cat jokes that lovingly mocks the internet’s overlords. Nope, we’re not shivering in angst to present these funny cat jokes to you, too, for we know there’s a great chance you’re just as rebellious as we are! So get ready and read on for the most amusing animal jokes list we’ve done so far.
Now, you might think that with our beloved felines being as awesome as they already are, no joke about cats could top the real deal. And you are right - we also agree that watching a cat do its thing is the most blessed thing ever; however, not all of us have the pleasure to do so. Thus, a silly joke is definitely the second-best thing, for it makes you laugh and lets your imagination run wild. And that creates probably the greatest combo ever - amazing cats and the limitless power of imagination. Agree? Well then, keep on reading until you get to the funny cat jokes themselves!
Yup, we’re almost there - the cute cat jokes are just a whisker’s length below. Once you are there, give the best jokes your love by upvoting them! And when that is all done, share your favorites with your friends, too.
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#1
"Cats are more like 'Hey, what are you up to? Never mind — I just remembered I don’t care.'" — Zoltan Kaszas
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#3
I saw a neighbor talking to her cat today, it was hilarious that she thought her cat could understand her. I went home and told my dog.
TheAquarius1978 2 years ago
Its been proved that cats understand comands as well, if not better than dogs, they just choose to ignore them lol.
#5
I saw a poster today that asked, “Have you seen my cat?” So, I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can.
#10
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark!
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago
After a few days living with my dad’s shiba inu dogs in the house, my two cats have learned to bark. And after my dad trained them, Donut now fetches slippers. *shrugs and look mystified* am I raising two fake doggo-cats
#20
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat. “What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”
#24
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain!
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago
I need the shirt that says: “One Cat Far from Crazy Cat Lady” :)
#34
A fun part of having a black cat is occasionally accidentally talking to a crumpled up black T-shirt on the floor.
#35
"I make a lot of jokes about my cat, but I always think wouldn’t it be fun if my cat was making jokes about me to his cat friends? That would be awesome if my cat was at home going 'What’s the deal with all the crying?'" — Debra DiGiovanni
#39
I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare…
Thanks to the cat it’s so chewed up I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
#47
What state has a lot of cats and dogs?
Petsylvania!
#50
Why did the cat eat the lemons?
He was a sourpuss!
#53
What was the kitten bowling league called?
"Alley Cats."
Hank Youngblood 1 year ago
I hopped into a coffee shop and then my jaw dropped with shock when I saw a girl with really cool pants it made me want to dance I started to advance to tell her then I heard a little voice say stop you're gonna make it weird for everyone in here and you're gonna break her clothes so you better just not I said you're really dumb then she looked up and thought that I was telling her that she was really dumb I started to explain I said I love your pants and I was previously talking to my brain she said I understand I made this pair of pants by hand and now I believe that it is time for us to dance so that is what we did we had a great time and all because I gave a stranger a complement
#58
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purr-petrator.
#59
"I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'… You probably saw our posters." — Stewart Francis, comedian
#61
What animals can you not trust?
Big cats! Because some are cheetahs, and some are always lion!
#65
Who was the most powerful cat in China?
Chairman Miaow.
#71
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Kitten."
"Kitten, who?"
"Quit kitten around and open the door."
#84
"My cat loves me so much that sometimes he stares at me with that look of love that’s almost creepy." — Debra DiGiovanni
#99
Why did the kitty get an "A" on their English assignment?
They properly used an independent claws.
#105
Me: *Sobbing* One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me!
Therapist: That’s pretty typical cat behaviour.
#107
Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
She let the cat out of the bag.
#108
A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The cat says, “A shot of whiskey.” The bartender pours the cat his drink. Slowly, the cat pushes the shot off the bar... immediately demanding, “ANOTHER!!”
#110
How do you know a cat is agitated?
He's having a hissy fit!
#113
What did the cats do when they realized they had a bad plan?
They decided to (cat)nip it in the bud.
#123
Why did the teenage cat call her parents when she found an apartment she liked?
She needed them to (cali)co-sign her lease.
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