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Woman Goes Viral With Over 126K Likes After Sharing A Powerful Personal Story About Why We ‘Can’t Stop Saying Gay’
Interview With Author
The internet and technology in general has empowered a lot of movements over the years, most notably human rights ones, and especially those fighting for the LGBTQ+ community.
And as the movement evolves, we’re seeing more and more people getting involved in the fight for equal rights and taking a stand, encouraging discussions and change for the better.
The current story is no different. A woman recently went to Twitter with a story of love and respect, urging change in society and culture, and even more so in the impending legislature that might prove to be more toxic than good.
More Info: Twitter
It seems the fight for LGBTQ+ rights is never-ending, but people persist, and this story explains just how crucial it is to endure
Image credits: Lorie Shaull
Meet Rhian Beutler, an entrepreneur from Southern California who recently shared a story about a very close friend of hers. Bored Panda contacted Rhian to talk about her story and the LGBTQ+ movement.
In short, back in high school, Rhian met a guy who had just transferred from a prestigious school to her public school. They became good friends, and in the long run, Rhian found out why he was transferred in the first place—he was gay, and his family didn’t approve of it. Aggressively.
While they couldn’t do anything about it at that point, they did do something when he turned 18—they took him in, gave him a safe home, and empowered him to do great things in life through love and support. He’s now an Ivy League graduate and immunologist who’s working on cancer.
Entrepreneur Rhian Beutler took to Twitter to share a story of how her family took in her gay high school friend, and why “we can’t stop saying gay”
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
“Frankly, I was rage tweeting at the introduction of Ohio House Bill 616, which is Ohio’s attempt at legislating homophobia, transphobia, and racism,” elaborated Rhian. “Further, this came at the heels of the passage of the Texas and Florida laws, alongside the introduction of 200 bills in the United States legislating hatred targeting the LGBTQIA+ community.”
For context, Bored Panda recently covered Florida’s legal attempts, i.e. the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, at prohibiting talks of sexual orientation in kindergartens and primary schools up to grade 3, which is also touched upon in Rhian’s thread.
She continued: “I needed people to understand the human cost of forcing kids to stay in the closet or live an inauthentic life. I wrote this hoping it would resonate with some of my followers, which is why I urged folks to vote and call as the only way to prevent further acts of legislated hatred is to pass federal legislation.”
“Further, as evidenced in my thread, I was brought up in a household that highly values social justice. My great-grandmother fled Nazi Germany with our family and imprinted two words into my memory ‘tu etwas,’ which means ‘do something.’ For me, writing the tweet was doing something and was a way to reach the most amount of people in the fastest way possible.”
“We can’t stop saying gay” comes in reference and response to the numerous “Don’t Say Gay” bills being enacted on state levels
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Rhian went on to say in her thread that there are many others in similar and even same situations, and what is worse, state-level authorities continue to pass legislation that empowers the anti-queer agenda.
Rhian urged people to take a stand, fight whatever anti-queer legislation is thrown the people’s way, and take action so LGBTQ+ people, especially kids, can feel safe, all the while fostering a culture of love and acceptance.
“When I was in high school, there was a de facto message of ‘don’t say gay.’ To my knowledge (and I could be wrong), there weren’t any gay kids ‘out’ at my school when I graduated in 2003,” elaborated Rhian about the current state and trajectory of LGBTQIA+ rights.
“This cultural gag made coming out very difficult and scary. While times have changed, and the Supreme Court passed marriage equality in the summer of 2015, hatred towards the LGBTQ+ community still exists. Enough so that the cultural homophobic gag of my youth is now being legislated against the most vulnerable in society.”
“Legislating homophobia and transphobia is scary and dangerous, and I would urge anyone reading this to reach out to your congressional representative.”
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
The response from people on Twitter varied, with some not really understanding how legislation affecting kindergarten through grade 3 kids has any significance here. But we have to remember that it all starts somewhere and it can slowly start seeping into other grades. This is besides the fact that it still adds to the overall formation of a culture and society that leans towards or away from equal rights.
But there were also those in support of Rhian’s message. Whether it was people merely thanking Rhian for the story, or those who joined the conversation with their own experiences and thoughts on the matter, the thread spoke to a lot of people as it got over 126,000 likes and 35,000 retweets.
In our interview with Rhian, she also noted that a lot of people reached out to her via direct messages with stories—folks sharing their own experiences from their families, parents sharing about their kids, teachers sharing about how to be better allies to kids in classrooms, and, needless to say, stories of many LGBTQ+ folks in crisis.
In her now viral thread, Rhian urges people to “do something” and to push away the legal tide of homophobia and hate
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Given the several updates and additions she made in the thread, we asked Rhian if there’s anything else she’d like to add or change at this point and she said this:
“First, I acknowledge I made a mistake in my Twitter thread; I identified my friend as a refugee, which is incorrect. He is an immigrant. This is important to note as the experience of immigrants and refugees vary greatly.”
“Moreover, 56% of trans kids have attempted [taking their own lives]. LGBTQIA+ kids are twice as likely to experience moderate to severe depression.”
“We need to protect LGBTQIA+ kids, and to quote a governor I rarely agree with, Utah’s GOP governor Spencer Cox: ‘I want them to live’ – he said this while vetoing anti-trans in sports legislation in Utah. Unfortunately, his veto was overridden by Utah’s state legislature.”
Rhian’s story resonated with a lot of folks, garnering over 126,000 likes with 35,100 retweets
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Image credits: rhiankatie
Rhian also wanted to pass on her friend’s—the aforementioned man’s—words, who wished to stay anonymous in the matter:
“Like any group, we seek equal opportunity, mutual connection, and communal safety. From Frank Kameny to Marsha P Johnson and James Baldwin, we are patriots, scientists, scholars, & activists who have left an indelible mark on American History. No bill will take that Pride away.”
She also concluded her interview with a plea directed at adults to be safe, to fight such bills, to be kind, to vote, and to “do something”. While for the LGBTQ+ kids possibly reading this, she says this:
“I’m sure you’re feeling alone and scared right now. I’m sorry that there are adults who are actively harming you and your right to exist. There are many people like me who will fight for you and stand with you. Please don’t forget that. I hope you can find a safe adult, but if you can’t right now, remember you will grow up and turn 18 and you will be able to leave whatever state/situation you are in and move to a safe place. You will get to choose your family if yours isn’t supportive of you. You will find brothers and sisters in the community. Hold tight. It gets better.”
You can check out the tweet in context here, as well as give Rhian a follow on Twitter here. But before you go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on Rhian’s story or the whole “Don’t Say Gay” issue in the comment section below!
What do you think ?
D20 Games 2 years ago (edited)
To everyone reading, the author is correct. We are out here if you need us. I do care who, what, where, why, or how you are, you are loved and not alone. I stand with you. I will go full mama Bear for you.
K Witmer 2 years ago
Tennessee republican senator praised hitler yesterday on the senate floor. Florida is now actively banning books that say anything about black people under the guise it discriminates against white people. Massachusetts school is being sued along w teachers bc they kept a queer kid safe from their abusive parents. Texas arrested a woman for murder bc she induced a miscarriage w abortion pills bought online. They dropped the charges 3 days later but she was in prison and the damage was done face plastered all over the media while her abusive husband told personal details about her health along w her hipaa and civil rights being violated. I could go on w what the republicans are doing. Desantis might be our next President he's worse than trump bc he's the same but a much smarter grifting fascist. Republicans will probably win the primaries in November we are all in trouble.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago
As someone on the outside looking in it all seems so insane and so unreal. It seems certain Americans are intent on turning back time while so much of the rest of the world are moving forward. My brother lives over in America and I worry so much about it, and what kind of environment my nieces and nephew will grow up in. It was worrying enough before with all the school shootings that happen but now there's so many more worries - what if they are gay? Or transgender? What if one of my nieces ends up pregnant and either isn't ready, or the baby won't survive, or her life is in danger and she needs safe access to an abortion? Very scary
Load More Replies...
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
I am so happy that this has a happy ending, but there is so much more to do. My oldest brother was gay, and even from the age of 5, I knew. This was in 1961, and he was 28. We never discussed it, but I cannot imagine the Hell he went through in the Air Force. He died last year at 88, but he and his partner of over 60 years married. I also have 2 gay nieces. Fortunately no judgement in our family.
Raven DeathShade 2 years ago
Hi. I am a teenager who has survived feeling like I wanted to die, who used to fall asleep each night hoping not to awake in the morning. I used to not trust myself around knives, and even rope sometimes. I am here for you. I will protect you, and I am here to listen. I want you to live. No matter who you are or who you love. You need to survive. If not for any other reason than because I said so.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago
My sons partner came out as non binary about a year ago but didn't tell their mum or Gran as they're very religious. They finally told them about 2 months ago and it didn't go well. So, they stayed here for a bit until the dust settled and they worked out a way to Co-exist. It isn't great, their mum won't respect that they've changed their name etc, but I hope they'll all find a better path. In the meantime my house is always a safe space.
Ellis Tamura 2 years ago
I have no idea why you were down-voted. You are absolutely correct and I was in the position of your sons partner once to!
Load More Replies... 
Miguel justino C 2 years ago
Let’s start a chain of families who are willing to adopt and treat these children how they should. Any advice for my idea? Let me help some LGBTQ teenagers and defend them against bigotry. I’m sure these foul mouthed dads wouldn’t mess with me. They know they’re weak and have little mmm, egos.
KT 2 years ago
So sad people hate gay people at all. two of my half brothers are gay, that doesn't change a thing for me. Always accepted them as they are. my father didn't and made life very horrible for them, it broke the family the way he was, he HATES anyone thats not striaght or white
Tobias Reaper 2 years ago
it makes no sense to me my auntie is gay and she has been with her partner since before i was was born and as far as im concerned she is my other auntie
Load More Replies...
J D 2 years ago
I seriously don't understand why people keep trying to make other people's lives their problem. I have enough things to deal with to worry about who is with who and what everyone is. Treat me with respect and let me know if i accidentally overstepped a boundary and I will treat you the same way. Kids need to be exposed early so they can learn that LGBTQ+ are human like us and deserve the same respect and treatment as everyone else.
Alex M 2 years ago
We are here. We will fight for you. We've been fighting. For you, for us, for the whole of the LGBTQ community. I started high school the year the author graduated. Things were bleak. I myself was in a situation where I faced constant verbal and emotional abuse from my family because I'm queer. I'm neither cis nor het and come from a religious family. I didn't feel safe going home. I actually had an escape plan in place with several of the adults in my life to get me to an older cousin in a different state should things at home become imminently and physically dangerous. I dealt with severe depression and at my lowest points I wanted to die. I'm here because of my friends and teachers. I was extremely politically active during Prop 8, DOMA, and DADT, since by that point I was on to college and no longer living in fear all the time. We're there, we see you, we've been where you are. Please hold on; it DOES get better. And please reach out if you need us. We're here if you need us.
GoGoPDX 2 years ago
To the people who keep saying that there are only 2 sexes, and men are men and women are women, you have no idea what you are talking about. Please educate yourself about Intersex. It is actually much more common then you might think, and it is very real.
J F 2 years ago
Being intersex has nothing to do with being transgender, less than 2% of the world population is intersex and they can be straight gay bi etc, out of that 1.72% over 90% have an obvious sex either male or female, saying that because some people are born with a genetic eror does not mean there are two sexes is as silly as saying, some people have one leg so we are not a bipedal species...
Load More Replies...
Kimi Tomminello 2 years ago
💖💖💖💖 my daughter's non binary friend came to stay with us on and off for years. Just got their first apartment 2 months ago through the same program that helped me with my emancipation. Love the kid to pieces and hate their parents for throwing them away the way they did. I always love reading these stories.
Miguel justino C 2 years ago
Keep being awesome Kimi! There needs to be better escapes for these kids besides nightclubs and community safe spaces. We can do more. I said in the comments above how do we make emancipation and adoption more available. Your 16 and your parents hate you and you can’t escape the torture, what do they do?
Load More Replies... Miguel justino C 2 years ago
I know lots of childhoods are messed up by their past. I was Dumb and thought all adults were squared away because my family and the ones around me were. Real world came and my first job taught me the opposite. I can’t believe “adults” act this way! Couldn’t imagine being mean to my child for being their own self. Anger!
Toothless Feline 2 years ago
A really important point about the trending legislation that this only implies: allowing an individual's parents to have sole control of what they can be or do, when that control is inconsiderate, abusive, and/or cruel, is objectively WRONG. All these bills granting parents the right to stifle teachers are built around the false assumption that the parents are always right.
Charles Rogers 2 years ago (edited)
Why does she state that it was "inappropriate" to say "you're gay, right?" It's not at all inappropriate. It's just a question. 🤷
QueenShannon Mardell 2 years ago (edited)
On behalf of Unique Woman's Coalition, a black trans-led organization who is celebrating 25 years of service to the TGI community. We thank you for your acknowledgement!!! Your donations help keep resources active like our food pantry, self-defense kits, advanced health directives, emergency housing assistance and creating safe spaces/events for community. We appreciate you. Please follow us on social media @theuwcofficial or www.theuwc.org
Tracey Hinton 2 years ago
So the whole land of the free stuff is only for white straight people? Glad I don't live in the USA!
It's Me 2 years ago
“Land of free” is about wealthy white men. No one else has freedoms.
Load More Replies...
Fabian Bartsch 2 years ago
i came here to laugh... not to cry... This was probably the most whole- and awesome thing i've read in a long time
Miguel justino C 2 years ago
I’m gonna use the language he is thinking and not typing. “These faggots are indoctrinating our kids, they need to be god fearing Christians and respect only my opinion, I don’t care if the f**s are loving and helping humanity, I don’t care because kids should be in an orphanage if it’s not a cis couple
QueenShannon Mardell 2 years ago
On behalf of Unique Woman's Coalition, a black trans-led organization celebrating 25 years of service to community. We thank you for acknowledgment.
Tamra Stiffler 2 years ago
Literally no one here said that sexual abuse of young kids is "okay", in fact, I can safely assume everyone here would find it abhorrent. Not sure what you're even talking about.
Load More Replies...
XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago
But the thing is, sexuality is everywhere, the problem is that it's only ever one: Heterosexual. Why is that the default?
Load More Replies...
D20 Games 2 years ago (edited)
To everyone reading, the author is correct. We are out here if you need us. I do care who, what, where, why, or how you are, you are loved and not alone. I stand with you. I will go full mama Bear for you.
K Witmer 2 years ago
Tennessee republican senator praised hitler yesterday on the senate floor. Florida is now actively banning books that say anything about black people under the guise it discriminates against white people. Massachusetts school is being sued along w teachers bc they kept a queer kid safe from their abusive parents. Texas arrested a woman for murder bc she induced a miscarriage w abortion pills bought online. They dropped the charges 3 days later but she was in prison and the damage was done face plastered all over the media while her abusive husband told personal details about her health along w her hipaa and civil rights being violated. I could go on w what the republicans are doing. Desantis might be our next President he's worse than trump bc he's the same but a much smarter grifting fascist. Republicans will probably win the primaries in November we are all in trouble.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago
As someone on the outside looking in it all seems so insane and so unreal. It seems certain Americans are intent on turning back time while so much of the rest of the world are moving forward. My brother lives over in America and I worry so much about it, and what kind of environment my nieces and nephew will grow up in. It was worrying enough before with all the school shootings that happen but now there's so many more worries - what if they are gay? Or transgender? What if one of my nieces ends up pregnant and either isn't ready, or the baby won't survive, or her life is in danger and she needs safe access to an abortion? Very scary
Load More Replies... HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
I am so happy that this has a happy ending, but there is so much more to do. My oldest brother was gay, and even from the age of 5, I knew. This was in 1961, and he was 28. We never discussed it, but I cannot imagine the Hell he went through in the Air Force. He died last year at 88, but he and his partner of over 60 years married. I also have 2 gay nieces. Fortunately no judgement in our family.
Raven DeathShade 2 years ago
Hi. I am a teenager who has survived feeling like I wanted to die, who used to fall asleep each night hoping not to awake in the morning. I used to not trust myself around knives, and even rope sometimes. I am here for you. I will protect you, and I am here to listen. I want you to live. No matter who you are or who you love. You need to survive. If not for any other reason than because I said so.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago
My sons partner came out as non binary about a year ago but didn't tell their mum or Gran as they're very religious. They finally told them about 2 months ago and it didn't go well. So, they stayed here for a bit until the dust settled and they worked out a way to Co-exist. It isn't great, their mum won't respect that they've changed their name etc, but I hope they'll all find a better path. In the meantime my house is always a safe space.
Ellis Tamura 2 years ago
I have no idea why you were down-voted. You are absolutely correct and I was in the position of your sons partner once to!
Load More Replies... Miguel justino C 2 years ago
Let’s start a chain of families who are willing to adopt and treat these children how they should. Any advice for my idea? Let me help some LGBTQ teenagers and defend them against bigotry. I’m sure these foul mouthed dads wouldn’t mess with me. They know they’re weak and have little mmm, egos.
KT 2 years ago
So sad people hate gay people at all. two of my half brothers are gay, that doesn't change a thing for me. Always accepted them as they are. my father didn't and made life very horrible for them, it broke the family the way he was, he HATES anyone thats not striaght or white
Tobias Reaper 2 years ago
it makes no sense to me my auntie is gay and she has been with her partner since before i was was born and as far as im concerned she is my other auntie
Load More Replies... J D 2 years ago
I seriously don't understand why people keep trying to make other people's lives their problem. I have enough things to deal with to worry about who is with who and what everyone is. Treat me with respect and let me know if i accidentally overstepped a boundary and I will treat you the same way. Kids need to be exposed early so they can learn that LGBTQ+ are human like us and deserve the same respect and treatment as everyone else.
Alex M 2 years ago
We are here. We will fight for you. We've been fighting. For you, for us, for the whole of the LGBTQ community. I started high school the year the author graduated. Things were bleak. I myself was in a situation where I faced constant verbal and emotional abuse from my family because I'm queer. I'm neither cis nor het and come from a religious family. I didn't feel safe going home. I actually had an escape plan in place with several of the adults in my life to get me to an older cousin in a different state should things at home become imminently and physically dangerous. I dealt with severe depression and at my lowest points I wanted to die. I'm here because of my friends and teachers. I was extremely politically active during Prop 8, DOMA, and DADT, since by that point I was on to college and no longer living in fear all the time. We're there, we see you, we've been where you are. Please hold on; it DOES get better. And please reach out if you need us. We're here if you need us.
GoGoPDX 2 years ago
To the people who keep saying that there are only 2 sexes, and men are men and women are women, you have no idea what you are talking about. Please educate yourself about Intersex. It is actually much more common then you might think, and it is very real.
J F 2 years ago
Being intersex has nothing to do with being transgender, less than 2% of the world population is intersex and they can be straight gay bi etc, out of that 1.72% over 90% have an obvious sex either male or female, saying that because some people are born with a genetic eror does not mean there are two sexes is as silly as saying, some people have one leg so we are not a bipedal species...
Load More Replies... Kimi Tomminello 2 years ago
💖💖💖💖 my daughter's non binary friend came to stay with us on and off for years. Just got their first apartment 2 months ago through the same program that helped me with my emancipation. Love the kid to pieces and hate their parents for throwing them away the way they did. I always love reading these stories.
Miguel justino C 2 years ago
Keep being awesome Kimi! There needs to be better escapes for these kids besides nightclubs and community safe spaces. We can do more. I said in the comments above how do we make emancipation and adoption more available. Your 16 and your parents hate you and you can’t escape the torture, what do they do?
Load More Replies... Miguel justino C 2 years ago
I know lots of childhoods are messed up by their past. I was Dumb and thought all adults were squared away because my family and the ones around me were. Real world came and my first job taught me the opposite. I can’t believe “adults” act this way! Couldn’t imagine being mean to my child for being their own self. Anger!
Toothless Feline 2 years ago
A really important point about the trending legislation that this only implies: allowing an individual's parents to have sole control of what they can be or do, when that control is inconsiderate, abusive, and/or cruel, is objectively WRONG. All these bills granting parents the right to stifle teachers are built around the false assumption that the parents are always right.
Charles Rogers 2 years ago (edited)
Why does she state that it was "inappropriate" to say "you're gay, right?" It's not at all inappropriate. It's just a question. 🤷
QueenShannon Mardell 2 years ago (edited)
On behalf of Unique Woman's Coalition, a black trans-led organization who is celebrating 25 years of service to the TGI community. We thank you for your acknowledgement!!! Your donations help keep resources active like our food pantry, self-defense kits, advanced health directives, emergency housing assistance and creating safe spaces/events for community. We appreciate you. Please follow us on social media @theuwcofficial or www.theuwc.org
Tracey Hinton 2 years ago
So the whole land of the free stuff is only for white straight people? Glad I don't live in the USA!
It's Me 2 years ago
“Land of free” is about wealthy white men. No one else has freedoms.
Load More Replies... Fabian Bartsch 2 years ago
i came here to laugh... not to cry... This was probably the most whole- and awesome thing i've read in a long time
Miguel justino C 2 years ago
I’m gonna use the language he is thinking and not typing. “These faggots are indoctrinating our kids, they need to be god fearing Christians and respect only my opinion, I don’t care if the f**s are loving and helping humanity, I don’t care because kids should be in an orphanage if it’s not a cis couple
QueenShannon Mardell 2 years ago
On behalf of Unique Woman's Coalition, a black trans-led organization celebrating 25 years of service to community. We thank you for acknowledgment.
Tamra Stiffler 2 years ago
Literally no one here said that sexual abuse of young kids is "okay", in fact, I can safely assume everyone here would find it abhorrent. Not sure what you're even talking about.
Load More Replies... XSpooky_Mint 2 years ago
But the thing is, sexuality is everywhere, the problem is that it's only ever one: Heterosexual. Why is that the default?
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