Join the Fun!

#2

Bushy Convo

Final score:

216points

POST

Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

There are bugs between your legs? No, but for real, where the hell did that question come from

52points

#3

Seems Reasonable

Final score:

208points

POST

Noname 1 year ago

I was enamored by the offer of the McDo dollar menu...

14points

#4

I Only Matched So I Could Send This

Final score:

147points

POST

Kimberly Alison 1 year ago

Hilarious.

37points

#5

You Know, I Expect So Little And Yet I’m Still Disappointed. I Regret Complimenting Him

Final score:

140points

POST

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

It would be tears of laughter when she sees him naked

14points

#6

Sir, I Believe You Should Put That 6 In Front Of That 2

Final score:

140points

POST

Awesome At Being Autistic 1 year ago

Yeah, okay Brad, I'm sure your high school football record is very impressive. Now back to reality.

85points

#7

After A Full Day Of Talking And Getting To Know Each Other, I’m Hit With This

Final score:

137points

POST

BitchinintheBurgh' 1 year ago

ahhhh...the old Menage a trois that i forgot to mention

42points

#8

I Give Up

Final score:

136points

POST

the_harbringer_of_doom[s/t/h] 1 year ago

good for her

58points

#9

He Unmatched Me

Final score:

135points

POST

Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

Coherent at least lol

36points

#10

Why Are Men?

Final score:

131points

POST

Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

I sometimes wonder if some people are really human or just worms pretending to be one

72points

#11

Me Trying To Get To Know Someone And Their Bio Is Like

Final score:

128points

POST

Hawkmoon 1 year ago

I sense there's some contradictions here, but it's really hard to tell.

104points

#12

Do You Have A Dog?

Final score:

124points

POST

CrazyCatLady 1 year ago

I don’t find tgis that bad. He doesn’t want to say he owns a living being, what’s the problem?

30points

#13

Oofda; Was I Too Harsh?

Final score:

123points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Dude, if someone gave me the opportunity to nerd out I would take it with great joy!

74points

#14

He Really Just Mansplained Me My Vagina You Can’t Make This Up

Final score:

122points

POST

The Chronic Insomniac 1 year ago

I love it when people without vaginas try to tell people with them how they work. Apalling. The amount of unmitigated gall is staggering.

13points

#15

Sometimes You Just Gotta Say It

Final score:

112points

POST

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

great response. sheesh some people.

37points

#16

And I’ve Officially Deleted Bumble

Final score:

105points

POST

Adam Chang 1 year ago

Her-"First thing you asked is if I have big boobs?!?!?" Him-"No" Her" Oh thats alright then."

19points

#17

I Thought I’ve See It All

Final score:

96points

POST

Lama 1 year ago

Daaaaaaaamn. Keep it to yourself Netflix and chillboy.

133points

#18

1 Hour On Bumble.....i'm Done. I'm Happier Single. I Just Wanted To Know About The Avocado

Final score:

95points

POST

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

hey man, don't mess with back pain. once your back goes you never get it back. blowing someone's back out is not manly or sexy.

57points

#19

Idk How Should I Take This

Final score:

89points

POST

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

That to me comes across as "Hi chubby! Feeling desperate?"

85points

#20

Am I Sensitive Or Is He Just Lowkey Racist??

Final score:

88points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

She handled that MUCH better than I would’ve.

106points

#21

Thanks For The Prompt Bestie It Was Really Helpful

Final score:

85points

POST

Lady Miss Pie Premium 1 year ago

Ask me about my half-price specials!

2points

#22

Sometimes Bumble Is As Much Of Use As Laser Guns In Hands Of Takeshi's Castle Finalists

Final score:

83points

POST

SCP 4666 1 year ago

At least she`s not wristing his time

9points

#23

Imagine Being This Self-Important

Final score:

79points

POST

Lama 1 year ago

I have no life. You have no life. Let's have no life together!

121points

#24

First Day On Bumble, Going Well

Final score:

78points

POST

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

so basically you just want to feel wanted since your bf doesn't give you enough of that?

43points

#25

I Like How He Went From No Hard Feelings To I’m Pushing The Age Limit

Final score:

77points

POST

A B C the Third 1 year ago

What a douche.

62points

#26

No Red Flags Here

Final score:

75points

POST

Jill Rhodry 1 year ago

At least he has the decency to wave his red flags I guess.

138points

#27

Why Type Lot Letters When Few Letters Do Trick?

Final score:

73points

POST

Fantastic Mr Fox 1 year ago

I honestly don’t understand why people still write like this. It made sense 20 years ago in the days of texting with an old Nokia.

137points

#28

No Noah Noooooo. It Kept Getting Worse

Final score:

71points

POST

Shelli Aderman 1 year ago

Oh my…

39points

#29

There’s Zero Effort, And Then There’s This

Final score:

69points

POST

CrazyCatLady 1 year ago

Just responding to everything, isn’t as bad as the others

58points

#30

Same Thing, Right? 🫠

Final score:

69points

POST

The Idaho Potato 1 year ago

Men: calm the bloody down about your d***s.

74points

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#31

Creepy Bumble Guy Doesn’t Know What Boundaries Are

Final score:

33points

POST

Vicky Phenny 1 year ago

I love how casually they admit they routinely overstep everyone's boundaries. Oof.

16points

#32

Dude Can’t Leave Elementary

Final score:

31points

POST

Kimberly Alison 1 year ago

I think it’s hilarious.

4points

#33

That Didnt Answer My Question

Final score:

30points

POST

Persephone hates Pomegranate ️ 1 year ago

Orangutan, because i would be able to block in free time to practice my sword fighting skills. Fighting a chicken everytime I leave my house would be impractical, because I would have to leave earlier then I have to. However, do we know when the Orangutan fight is happening? Because that would be some must need information.

5points

#34

She Doesn't Seem Very Pleasant

Final score:

29points

POST

Lama 1 year ago

Why would you even still answer this weirdo?

30points

#35

Without The Mark Of The Devil

Final score:

29points

POST

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

I was unsure about having a tattoo, so the tattoo artists suggested a nice temporary one. We both agreed that tattoos don't work on me, so I paid him £300 to do a bunch of temporary tattoos as practice. He was a fun dude!

3points

#36

Found An Absolute Winner

Final score:

27points

POST

Take me to dinner first 1 year ago

Damn it went downhill so quickly

13points

#37

Sooo Tempted!!

Final score:

27points

POST

Old Roadie 1 year ago

That's not a trust issue, darlin' ... it's a Delusional Disorder, Persecutory Type.

3points

#38

So, What Age?

Final score:

26points

POST

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

Are those ages her lottery numbers?

18points

#39

Had A Typo On My Profile That Said 5'2 But I Learned Today That Short Guys Aren't Allowed To Be This Good Looking. Come On Ladies, It Can't Be This Bad

Final score:

26points

POST

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

There are a lot of these women around. If she asks your height, ask her weight. If she is offended, it ends there. My neighbours' daughter is obese, and her boyfriend is a dwarf. They are one of the happiest couples I have met. Plus, they have a dirty sense of humour and are hilarious to hang around with. Never heard them argue

32points

#40

What In The Fresh F**k Is This

Final score:

26points

POST

Christos Arvanitis 1 year ago

Incel alert...

28points

SCP 4666 1 year ago

or QAnon alert

4points

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Old Roadie 1 year ago

My eyebrows crawled so far up my forehead my wrinkles disappeared...

5points

Rosie Red 1 year ago

LOL thanks for the laugh

1point

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago (edited)

The incel is strong in this one.

4points

Ample Aardvark 1 year ago

Lots of words there for "never touched a woman"

4points

A B C the Third 1 year ago

I mean, I'm not native, but isn't he actually right as far as that basically only incels call women "females"? So I think he's proven two points at once.

3points

CrazyCatLady 1 year ago

Wtf

2points

Andy Calumet 1 year ago

Bruh

0points

Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago

You mean I'm actually a guy? GASP! I've been transitioned!

0points

Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 1 year ago

Um ...

0points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago

Ok this is funny

0points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago

...it has to be a joke... Right

1point

Load More Replies...

#41

Sometimes I Really Wonder Why Certain People Use Dating-Apps

Final score:

24points

POST

Shelli Aderman 1 year ago

Not wrong, though…

38points

#42

Who Uses Excel Willingly?!

Final score:

24points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

🚩Creeper alert 🚩

15points

#43

She Unmatched Me After This, Don’t Feel Like I Missed Out On Much

Final score:

24points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Sorry I got to go, by back is really hurting from the weight of carrying this conversation.

12points

#44

Ahh The Smugness, The Irony, Divine

Final score:

24points

POST

SCP 4666 1 year ago

Never heard of the specific ocean

2points

#45

Didn’t See That One Coming

Final score:

23points

POST

Chexmy Licks 1 year ago

ask his grandpa to wake up and give him a blow lmao

2points

#46

Man I'm Done With This Online Dating

Final score:

23points

POST

Awesome At Being Autistic 1 year ago

Do you even understand the concept of dating apps?!

18points

#47

Oh

Final score:

22points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

At least he’s honest?

3points

#48

Thanks For The Heads Up, I Guess?

Final score:

22points

POST

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

Why waste all that camo? No one is going to look at him with that in his profile

27points

#49

At Least He's Honest?

Final score:

21points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Size does matter… if it’s really big it’s uncomfortable and hard to do some stuff, according to some friends.

2points

#50

After 4 Dates. That Was Enough For Me Not To Even Respond

Final score:

21points

POST

Shelli Aderman 1 year ago

huh.gif

10points

#51

My Man Has No Game At All

Final score:

21points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

And they say chivalry is dead…

6points

#52

Should I Just Unmatch Him Or What?

Final score:

21points

POST

Noname 1 year ago

My friend would check her cell phone all day waiting for a reply from some guy she had just met, and if they didn't reply promptly to her messages, she thought they were playing her, when they were probably at work and couldn't reply in a timely manner. Then she'd send them a scathing message stating that she was entitled to prompt responses from them, and they'd ghost her. Oddly, she never replied promptly to any text messages I sent her, but then, I don't have a dork.

2points

#53

And We Were Getting On So Well

Final score:

21points

POST

#54

Dating Apps Are A Real Struggle In Japan

Final score:

20points

POST

A B C the Third 1 year ago

"let's eat grandpa." - punctuation can save lives.

8points

#55

New Day, Same Old

Final score:

20points

POST

that 𝕤𝕒𝕡𝕚𝕠 planet 1 year ago (edited)

Okay but who doesn't like them (/j)

2points

#56

How You Gonna Tell Me I Taste Wrong

Final score:

19points

POST

Awesome At Being Autistic 1 year ago

Tl;Dr: I have no ideas other than alcohol for how to get women to sleep with me.

5points

#57

My Experience On Bumble So Far

Final score:

19points

POST

Adam Chang 1 year ago

so relatable

5points

#58

Nearly Every Guy On This Sub: “Put Some Effort Into Your Openers, I Hate When Women Just Say Hey, Blorghy Blah Blah.” And I’m Telling You As Someone Who Never Says Hey, This Is Pretty Typical Non-Engagement

Nearly Every Guy On This Sub: “Put Some Effort Into Your Openers, I Hate When Women Just Say Hey, Blorghy Blah Blah.” And I’m Telling You As Someone Who Never Says Hey, This Is Pretty Typical Non-Engagement

Final score:

19points

POST

Emma S 1 year ago

I'd have to go with the year in Europe. That was I could stay at home in England and pocket the money.

17points

#59

Online Dating Is Weird

Final score:

19points

POST

Emma S 1 year ago

I don't understand what she said to sound bitter. 😕

10points

#60

I May Call - But Only Because I’m Not Jewish

Final score:

19points

POST

Shelli Aderman 1 year ago

Hi, your racism is showing… 🤦🏽‍♀️

15points

#61

Dont U Ladies Love Going For Walks With Strange Men At 11:30 Pm On A Sunday? F*cking Hell

Final score:

18points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

hahaha lol

4points

#62

We Were Having Some Nice Banter And Then Hit A Wall With This... Feel Like I Dodged A Bullet

Final score:

18points

POST

Lama 1 year ago

As a woman, I like splitting bills. It makes sure there are no expectations or any feeling of "owing" something. (Even though obviously it shouldn't work that way in the first place!)

49points

#63

Um…. Does This Approach Work For Anyone??

Final score:

18points

POST

Awesome At Being Autistic 1 year ago

🤮

4points

#64

Will Report Back

Final score:

18points

POST

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

intelligence. haven't found it yet.

3points

#65

I Guess I Should Just Go Back To “Hey How’s Your Week Going?”

Final score:

18points

POST

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

that's honestly a really great opener and I'd love to reply to it myself. super fun.

13points

#66

He Said This After He Asked Me Out. I Feel Like They Might Be Overreacting, But My Friends Are Telling Me To Just Block Him On Everything

Final score:

18points

POST

Christos Arvanitis 1 year ago

I don't think this guy was being literal and serious... maybe just a sarcastic sense of humor and trying to be playful? This is kinda sorta how we talk in the Boston area. I dunno about this one...

7points

#67

Who The F*ck Does This?

Final score:

18points

POST

#68

I Don't Even Know Anymore Bruh

Final score:

17points

POST

Cyber Returns 1 year ago

Still celebrating I see

5points

#69

Classy

Final score:

17points

POST

Sinnsyk Jakte 1 year ago

...I don't need a leash, but a walk has made many an adventure for me. You just want dinner, you hungry B? Just fetch your dog bowl.

1point

#70

Our Solidified Plan Was To Grab Coffee At 10am And Go To The Museum. 3rd Date M33, F32. I Woke Up At 8am To This

Final score:

17points

POST

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

Ok I literally call people for a living and I don't like making calls before maaaaybe 8:30 or so for this very reason. 6:50 is far too early to expect a response like this. Also! they literally tried to change the plans and then used the excuse to not go because they "didn't have a solid plan." looks like they just didn't want to go.

11points

#71

He Asked How I Liked The App, I Told Him It Was Frustrating….then He Became Another Example As To Why

Final score:

16points

POST

Ace 1 year ago

This guy needs to be on an Incel group, not a dating app.

11points

#72

I Was Hoping Bumble Would Be Different

Final score:

15points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Honestly, not too bad, just not the right match. I respect people that are up front about just wanting sex.

9points

#73

Dodged A Bullet

Final score:

14points

POST

Old Roadie 1 year ago

Judge Mental. Sounds like a Stallone film.

17points

#74

I’ve Had Some Bad Attempts At Conversations, But This Takes The Cake

Final score:

13points

POST

Katie Andrews 1 year ago

My response, "SUPER happy to be post-menopausal and childfree!" How incredibly super gross.

6points

#75

Am I The Problem?

Final score:

12points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Whaasup?

7points

#76

"I'm The One Looking For Something. But Also, You Should Be The One To Convince Me Of Your Worth"

Final score:

11points

POST

SCP 4666 1 year ago

`the hell is this - some kind of job interview?

4points

#77

I Said I Was From Asia, Not The Zoo

Final score:

11points

POST

#78

My Shoulders Hurt

Final score:

10points

POST

Shelli Aderman 1 year ago

He’s not wrong…

9points

#79

Didn’t Know Suggesting A Date Venue Was Mansplaining, And I Don’t Have A Screenshot But She Also Accused Me Of Being Racist For Saying I Wasn’t A Huge Fan Of Hamilton

Final score:

9points

POST

Christos Arvanitis 1 year ago

Why is sending a link to something that first person said they liked mansplaining? Sure, she knew about it but that seems like a strong reaction.

17points

#80

Ummm…. Thoughts On Opener And Response?

Final score:

9points

POST

Katarzyna Drozd 1 year ago

Run, this response screams "my self-esteem is below zero"

4points

#81

Merry Sexual Christmas? Is This A Thing?

Final score:

9points

POST

$fracarr avatar$

François Carré 1 year ago

You didn't get it, if they say "merry sexual christmas" you just answer "le tits now".

3points

#82

This Is Really Fun

Final score:

8points

POST

SCP 4666 1 year ago

Yes my liege. I shall speak now

0points

#83

I Don’t Even Know What To Say To This

Final score:

7points

POST

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Honestly this could be worse. I’m ace and demiromantic so if I ever decide to try out the dating thing I’d want to be friends first.

13points

#84

🚩 “I’m Poly, My Husband Isn’t” 🚩

Final score:

3points

POST

A B C the Third 1 year ago

So? A friend of mine is poly, too, his wife is not. She knows about everything and is fine with it. It's a concept I do not understand, but as everyone is cool with it, who am I to judge?

20points