Growing up, your birthday was likely your favorite day of the year. But your friends’ birthdays could have been in your top ten as well. Because even though you weren’t the center of attention, you got to celebrate your besties with a party, eat delicious cake and, if you were lucky, go home with a fabulous party favor.

It’s pretty easy to keep kiddos satisfied during a party, but according to one mom, it’s also surprisingly easy to derail the entire event. Below, you’ll find a story that this mom shared on Reddit, detailing how a Build-a-Bear birthday took an unexpected turn, as well as a conversation with Amy Morrison, founder of Pregnant Chicken.

This mom attended a Build-a-Bear birthday party for her daughter’s friend

Image credits: Phillip Stewart (not the actual photo)

But when it was revealed that the kids would not get to keep their creations, the partygoers were not happy

Image credits: buildabear (not the actual photo)

Later, the mom provided an update after speaking to the birthday girl’s mother

Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)

Image source: namenerd77

Birthday parties can be huge expenses for parents

Image credits: Rahel Daniel (not the actual photo)

Being a parent is never easy, but planning special events, like kids’ birthday parties, can bring much more stress than the average day. Moms and dads want to ensure that their little ones have the most special days possible, while also creating a fun party for friends and ensuring that they spoil the birthday boy or girl without breaking the bank.

According to MarketWatch, parents tend to spend over $500 on their children’s first birthdays, and the average birthday party for a child costs parents around $400, excluding the cost of any presents they may buy. And in the UK, research has found that parents typically spend almost £5,000 on birthdays between the ages of 4 and 11.

As far as what costs parents the most when it comes to celebrating their little ones, catering, hiring entertainment, paying for activities and ordering a cake are the most expensive aspects of throwing a birthday party. And while it may be cheaper to host the soiree at home, parents noted that home is actually the most stressful place to throw a party.

“Birthday parties celebrate a milestone in a child’s life, but also serve as teaching moments for being a good host and acting with grace”

Image credits: Dushan Hanuska (not the actual photo)

We reached out to parenting expert and founder of Pregnant Chicken, Amy Morrison, to hear her thoughts on this story, and she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. First, we wanted to know if Amy believes having a Build-a-Bear birthday party implies that kids will get to take home their creations. “I sure do. Anytime I’ve been to a child’s birthday party where there has been an activity for the kids to do – whether it’s ceramics, baking or building a stuffed animal – the kids take home their creation,” she explained.

We also asked the expert if she thinks this party was a good idea in the first place. “I think it’s important to step back from the idea and ask yourself what everyone is getting out of this,” Amy shared. “To me, a birthday party is for someone to celebrate with the people they care about. Perhaps for others, it’s only to celebrate the person. What’s the message you want your child and their friends to take away from the celebration? Regardless of how this was communicated, I think it would be a hard sell to take away the bear that a kid’s been thoughtfully building during the party.”

As far as what makes a successful birthday party, Amy says her main goal is ensuring everyone has a good time without too much stress, including herself and the other parents. “I always appreciated parents who threw a low key ‘cake and chips’ party where the kids just got to hang out and play a few games or watch a movie,” she shared.

“Birthday parties celebrate a milestone in a child’s life, but also serve as teaching moments for being a good host and acting with grace,” Amy added. “I think the parents throwing this party missed the mark on this one.”

While it can be tempting to spoil children, this can do them a disservice in the long run

Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)

When it comes to having a Build-a-Bear party, such as the one referenced in this story, Build-a-Bear does have their own party packages that parents can book via their website. They also note that, “Each guest creates the best party favor ever — their own furry friend to bring home and love!” We can’t know for sure why the parents decided not to have a Build-a-Bear led experience for their child. Perhaps it was because they wanted all of the bears to go to their daughter, or maybe they suspected it would be less expensive to do it on their own. But on Build-a-Bear’s website, they note that parties start at £14, or $17, per guest. Considering that most of their “furry friends” cost upwards of £20, or over $24, the party might have actually saved them money.

It’s understandable for parents to want to give their children the best memories possible when it’s their birthday. But there’s a fine line between throwing an enjoyable day for all involved and spoiling the child a bit too much. According to Verywell Family, parents who overindulge their kids can create self-centered, greedy children who aren’t willing to be accountable for their actions.

It may seem right in the moment to buy that expensive toy that your child wants or to allow them more screen time when they demand it, but this could be doing them a disservice in the long run. “Overindulged kids are less able to delay gratification, and that leads to materialism and ungratefulness,” Verywell Family explains.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this Build-a-Bear drama in the comments below, pandas. How would you have reacted if you had been in this mother’s situation? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing birthday party drama, look no further than right here!

Readers shared their shock in the comments, and the mother responded with additional information about the situation

Some even had similar stories of their own to share

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