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35 Sarcastically Honest Slogans That Reveal The True Nature of Famous Brands, As Shared By Folks In This Online Group
Brands are mostly recognized by their logos but another important part of a company’s branding is their slogan. Brand slogans are usually short and catchy, they are a representation of the brand’s identity and makes them stand out among other competitors.
They should reveal the benefits of the products and also show the values of the company. But people believe that not all slogans that companies have are always that honest. So redditor night_howler_grt thought of asking, “If brands were brutally honest, what brand would have what slogan?” and people in the thread put all the wrong things that these companies do into one catchy phrase.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Tupperware: Have you ever wanted to throw away food, but just not now?
Raven Sheridan 4 years ago
Now with 43 spare lids, you can't find the matching containers for!
Calypso poet 4 years ago
I still have Tupperware from the 70's that was my moms. Perfect condition! The stuff I bought in the early aughts couldn't hold up to the dishwasher and microwave.
lara 4 years ago
Years and years ago when Phyllis Diller first showed up on TV she had a line that had me and my mom rolling on the floor. She said "have you ever opened up the refrigerator and found something that has been in there so long you have no idea what it is? And instead of throwing it away, you put it back? Why? Do you think it is going to get better?"
Monic Krugell 4 years ago
Ever wanted to get super mad if someone loses their super expensive lunch box?
RELATED:
#2
Seaworld: You'll enjoy it a lot more than the animals do.
#3
gucci: being expensive is literally our entire marketing strategy
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
"Pay for our overpriced products so we can use you for free advertising."
Linn Shonta 4 years ago
and not pay you for the “free advertising “ you are doing for us!! 😂😂😂😉🤔
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Dre Mosley 4 years ago
Never got the appeal. If I'm paying that much, it needs to also look better than the much cheaper stuff.
Dani Alexander 4 years ago
I can’t even believe gucci. You can get nicer clothes from target for like more than half the price, and better quality. I’m not saying everything is bad at gucci, but a lot of the time there just overhyped and overpriced.
Linn Shonta 4 years ago
we need to stop listening to what “society “ tells us is supposedly cool! usually it is just more expensive and so not cool!! Not to mention it is also the most ugly thing you will ever see in your life! why do we do this??!
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#4
BuzzFeed: because you’re too lazy to go on Reddit, and we’re too lazy to write original content.
Amy Pattie 4 years ago
Bored Panda: you want reddit content but don’t have the guts to be a redditor
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More Thinking Needed 4 years ago
Bored Panda has become a second home to hundreds of Reddit posts. Lazy Panda.
Joanna 4 years ago
BP has the added benefit of people responding as if the OP could see it.
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LiamTheBot 4 years ago
Bored panda on the others and “oh you think yours is stolen content well hold my beer and watch this”
#5
Coca Cola: It was better with a hint of cocaine, but type 2 diabetes will have to do.
Al Cook 4 years ago
If cocaine ever became legal, I wonder if they'd bring out an adults only "original recipe" version.
Josy Bannon 4 years ago (edited)
Coca cola killed, abducted and threatened a lot of union workers. This is a NY Times article from the 80s. https://www.nytimes.com/1984/07/10/world/guatemala-unions-watch-plant-feud.html These reports are informational also about other stuff they did: https://www.google.de/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://harbert.auburn.edu/binaries/documents/center-for-ethical-organizational-cultures/cases/coca-cola.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj-laq-svnzAhVG3KQKHfryBYoQFnoECA4QAQ&usg=AOvVaw2p2JFJpN-Qba4-3tKcF_I3 https://www.google.de/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://digitalcommons.law.seattleu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi%3Farticle%3D1448%26context%3Dsjsj&ved=2ahUKEwin0_-vsfnzAhUMMewKHV90AGoQFnoECAkQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2A7tfUOc6b58Np95iWyz_H I never buy Coca Cola because of this
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Bring back original Coke. Caffeine is a poor substitute for the Real Thing!
Droopsnoot 4 years ago
Bizarre if you think about it, you can easily get a permanent disease with much food, but softdrugs are a no no
Davo gifman 4 years ago
Ah yeah! The good ole days; back when the Coke ingredients was what it was
#6
Dove bar soap: because you'd never buy soap called pigeon
Andi 4 years ago
they really aren't. Poor pigeons get a bad rap - they carry no more diseases than other birds. But there are a lot of them (our fault for leaving food for them) in cities and they poo a lot - fair play.
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MyOpinionHasBeenServed 4 years ago
Dove and dove are pronounced different, mean 2 different things.
#7
Nature Valley: Crumbs everywhere
Aubrey B 4 years ago
the only way to not have nature valley crumbs on your pants
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MiddleEarth 4 years ago
Want to motivate yourself to clean a space? Simply open one of Nature Valley's instant mess bars! *Nature Valley is not in fault if customer is unable to actually motivate themselves
#8
TikTok: Because watching your daughters friends from the window is weird
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
"Want a boatload of mental health problems and wish to see the very bottom of the barrel of humanity?"
#9
Facebook: your privacy is our business
Night Owl 4 years ago
And Have You Ever Wanted To Know Which Of Your Distant Relatives Are Conspiracy Theorists Or Racist/Sexist Assholes?
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Al Cook 4 years ago (edited)
Don't post videos on social media, you can actually have your face realistically transferred onto another head in a video you might rather not be in. It's called a deepfake and it only takes a minute of real footage to be a victim. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/10/30/deepfaked-committing-crime-should-worried/
Robertas Lisickis 4 years ago
To be fair, that's not exclusive to Facebook -- many internet-based companies do this, but I guess someone had to get this.
Angelar 4 years ago (edited)
I see why you stepped in: "Tomas Banisauskas, Bored Panda’s founder, told me he expects to be profitable this year with $20 million to $30 million in revenue, mostly from the advertisements that appear on its website. Roughly 90 percent of its web traffic comes from Facebook, making the social network by far the biggest factor in Bored Panda’s success."... https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/30/technology/facebook-bored-panda.html
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Andonis600 4 years ago
Facebook: We’re now called Meta because your information is going to the metaverse!
#10
Amazon: come make that bald guy even richer while we treat our employees like s**t
Deja Katz 4 years ago
So true. The merchandise on Amazon has definitely gone to s**t
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Calypso poet 4 years ago
I like to think my years of being a Prime member helped Captain Kirk ride that space penis!
Akka Dakka 4 years ago
See, you all keep saying this stuff and then continue to buy from Amazon when it suits you. You can't say you don't,
Nubis Knight 4 years ago
Tried to avoid Amazon and bought from a German marketplace also it was more expensive - got big problems with the paying formalities and had to pay additional fees and needed three attempts till payment was successful. Now I'm back with Amazon, sry.
v 4 years ago
This slogan seems to be working fantastically! I've been hearing some version of it for the last couple of years and his wealth keeps increasing. I can only assume that the slogan is so effective that people can't help but hand their money over to him. There's a similar slogan around Walmart in the post Sam Walton years and they're still doing fantastic as well. I need to find a way to get people pissed at me so they'll just give me their money while bitching about it. I'll have to come up with a new and better slogan though.
Andonis600 4 years ago
You would think that with a s**t ton of money you could make a better quality of life for the employees instead of becoming a spaceman.
Thomas Turnbull 4 years ago
Bezos has donated 10 billion dollars to charity for climate control and has donated 178 million dollars to 16 climate change groups. nearly all the people reading these have bought high quality products from Amazon.
#11
Google: We finish your thoughts for you.
ChariotLee 4 years ago
I once said out loud to my sister that I'd like to know where the Hunger Games was filmed. Lo and behold, after I typed in "where" into the search engine, "was the hunger games filmed" was the first thing that popped up. Freaked me the heck out.
#12
YouTube: You dont matter to us now watch our double ads!
Requiem 4 years ago
I pay premium youtube and all it does is let you listen to music with the app away in the background. doesnt get rid of the f*****g ads
Sherbaan Naab 4 years ago
Get a browser that blocks adds. I use Brave. And use the browser instead of the app. Problem solved.
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Dani Alexander 4 years ago
I literally have been getting triple ads no skip till the last one. Ridiculous YouTube
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 4 years ago
And listen to our content creators inundate you with more ads of their sponsor ships for 5 mins.
Tom Spade 4 years ago
I quit YouTube. Most of my podcasts have their own sites, and I go there rather than put up with YouTube censorship and ad bombardment.
Requiem 4 years ago
youtube isnt for podcasts, your phone has a podcast app for android or iphone
Load More Replies... #13
And you thought you were weird. - Reddit
Requiem 4 years ago
Its barely above 4chan which is basically the incel dark web.
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Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Reddit: When you finish all of BPs content but you still don't want to go to bed
#14
Pepsi: "Is Pepsi OK?"
Manuel Delgado 4 years ago
Absolutely not. It tastes like coke with cinnamon...
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Adam Belaire 4 years ago
Pepsi was my go-to for many years. But as I get up in age, it's a treat. Stick with Zevia now. No sugar. But every now and then, gotta have me a Pepsi.
#15
Taco Bell: 57 Menu items, Six ingredients!
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Taco Bell:. When you want something that looks the same going in and coming out
#16
Target: The upperclass Walmart
Requiem 4 years ago
target tried in Canada and failed Hard. Could never find products or people working in the store. even when you hit the call button
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Kelly Hartle 4 years ago
At least you don't find as many people looking like they dressed down to come there.
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago
True. And at least they treat their employees like human beings.
#17
Microsoft. If there was a way we could force you into a yearly subscription for the very floor your computer sits on, we would
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
Microsoft: We can't install Update 20H2 on YOUR computer WE designed the OS for. Your fault.
Devil's Advocate 4 years ago
They designed it to work on EVERY computer, whereas macos fails on their own hardware
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#18
Taco Bell. You're stoned, we're stoned, so lets eat.
Davis the Un-Greatest 4 years ago (edited)
Taco Bell: you’ll end up with an empty colon and deep regret, but you’ll come back again
Leesa DeAndrea 4 years ago
I've eaten Taco Bell many many times over 30 years. Never once has it given me diarrhea. Upset stomach, yes. Diarrhea, no.
ThoughtsAreNotFacts 4 years ago
Crunchy, chewy, cheesy... Who could ask for more when you have $5
#19
La Quinta: Spanish for "next to Denny's"
Andrea S Cohen 4 years ago
I came up with this back in the 70s while in Jr. High School - got quite a few laughs LOL - it's still funny!
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago
Eh? Since when? I generally stay at La Quinta's because they're reasonably nice for the price and I don't recall ever seeing a Denny's nearby. But then, I haven't seen a Denny's in like a decade; do they even still exist?
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
They just tore down the last Denny's near me, and it wasn't next to La Quinta... TGI Fridays was =0)
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Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago
There really is a La Quinta close to a Denny's where I live, haha!
German Gargicevich 4 years ago
La Quinta is an "entry-level" franchised hotel. Nowadays, to get room service, you should stay in the top 5%, by rates (In Portland, OR, around $ 400 and up). And inquire first if the place has a kitchen operating 24 hours.
Load More Replies... #20
UPS: We know your you're probably home but ain't nobody got time for that!
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
USPS: We're too lazy to actually deliver your package, so here's an orange slip so you can drive to the post office and pick it up.
Zedrapazia 4 years ago
Props to my grandpa who always takes care of the tracking service and hides in the garden to jumpscare the delivery man if he doesn't even try to deliver the package.
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
I have nothing but love and respect for every single one of the people who have brought everything I needed right to my door all thru the pandemic. If I get Covid, I strongly believe that I will die. USPS, DHL, FedEx, UPS, all of them worked long hours and really hard so that I could stay at home and have everything come to me. Bless them. They have my undying gratitude.
Dawn Marie 3 years ago
What do you get when you cross UPS and FEDEX? ....................FEDUP!!!!!!!!!!
Caroline Driver 4 years ago
Or, we won't deliver goods you need for your business for 3 days, tough luck. And good luck with your suppliers getting through to us.
Dre Mosley 4 years ago
UPS once wouldn't leave a box of protein bars I ordered. Left one of those "Sorry We Missed You" notices on my door. I couldn't believe it.
#21
FedEx : our drivers take out their anger on your items.
Requiem 4 years ago
its a stressful job of people getting things delivered to a business but only having their name and the address onthe box; when it should say the business name so you can track it down easier. i worked for loomis for 6 months and everyone f***s up at their end but you get the s**t
Zedrapazia 4 years ago
I can't count how many times I filed complaints because FedEx squashed videogame vynil collectors statues i ordered. These things cost hundreds, get packaged with bubble wrap, styrofoam and other stuff like crazy, and the delivery people still manage to damage them somehow m
Calypso poet 4 years ago
Where do you people live? Our FedEx drivers have been amazing! The one even slowed down to wave when she saw me out after my foot surgery. Our UPS driver looks like he could be David Wallace's sexy brother.
Kelly Hartle 4 years ago
One time our hub actually delivered an elephant--let's hope the drivers didn't take their anger out on him!
NYSTXPHILIA 4 years ago
where i live fedex speeds by so fast, its kinda aggressive. 90mph in a neighborhood-
#22
Apple IPad: distracting your toddler made easy
earringnut 4 years ago
Not new technology but that's not why you bought it anyway.
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#23
RC Cola: we’re just happy to be involved in the taste test
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago (edited)
Dr Pepper is good. Also not a cola.
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Steve Fischer 4 years ago
When I was a kid RC cola came in 16oz bottles. At that age, more was better
DennyS (denzoren) 4 years ago
I haven't seen this drink in ages, I thought it was discontinued.
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
No, but it's a lot harder to find. When I was a kid, we all drank it because it was cheaper than "co-cola"
Load More Replies... #24
Facebook: it’s worse than you think.
Susan Williams 4 years ago
Changing names did not work for those criminals in the Big Boy prisons.
Kelly Hartle 4 years ago
Facebook: We had to change our name to distract you from all the bad press.
Forrest McCanless 4 years ago
We use an engineering document management system at work - WindChill. It's also far worse than it seems.
#25
Instagram: you'll never look this good.
lara 4 years ago
Setting unrealistic expectations since drawing was invented? Ever seen any "ugly" depictions of women or men from the past?
Load More Replies... Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Instagram : when you need to remember that everyone else is much better than you will ever be.
#26
Disney. Really, what other option do you have? We run the entertainment world
Moneythink 4 years ago
Disney World, the world's most advanced tourist trap. "Oh, look, the line's not that long". 3 hours of winding through a maze later.... Also, why would anyone visit Disney World during a Florida summer? 90 degrees and 200% humidity. Although, I actually enjoyed Epcot when I visited it back in the 20th century.
Jean Thompson 4 years ago
Americans know that visiting Disney World in the Florida summertime is a "no no", for the reasons given above. That's why Europeans are bombarded by Disney adverts to fly over there at that time, to push up visitor numbers! Advice to Europeans - make your trip to Disney World in early Spring or late Autumn when the weather conditions are so much better.
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Linn Shonta 4 years ago
Nope, never been there, never want to!! Worked at 6 Flags in younger days, saw what bs went on behind the scenes & lost desire to ever go to any of these amusement parks again!! You really don’t want to know what goes on in these places!!😈😈😵💫☄️🔥🔥🔥💥
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#27
Facebook: You are the product.
#28
Froot loops: they are all the same flavours
Sky Render 4 years ago
It's true! Do a blind taste test and you'll discover that they're all just citrus flavored. And their other nasty secret: Apple Jacks are just Froot Loops with a tiny alteration to flavor.
Carly Weber 4 years ago
Those and Cocoa Puffs where my fav as a kid. Sometimes I still think of buying Cocoa Puffs.
#29
Nestle: I killed people for this. Be grateful
Requiem 4 years ago
my family used to get the shits from drinking tap water in big cities. Weve owned a brita filter since they were created in the 90s
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Droopsnoot 4 years ago
That bunny in the photo looks like he ate the poor people's souls and now wants to eat yours. To poor people, from poorer people.
#30
Most fashion brands : from kids for kids
Marianne Saiso 4 years ago
Really? Ours is almost indestructible. Either our washing machines are different or the clothes from H&M we buy are different.
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Droopsnoot 4 years ago
Ah, tge way it is made... I thought the designers, but tgose are more spoiled teens
#31
McDonalds: Preserving our food for generations to come.
Jesse Schröder 4 years ago (edited)
mcDonalds: putting ingredients on your food while you specifically told us not to
Nazda Pokmov 4 years ago
McDonalds. Serving more silly putty every year and passing it off as food.
#32
Tinder: Pay extra to stop us from c**kblocking you.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
the only way to meet scam artists and catfishes, you mean.
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#33
EA: unlock this slogan for 500 gems
#34
Roblox: We’ve made so much money off your kids, we can’t believe it either…
Requiem 4 years ago
shitty game that barely works an crashes and people sell shittier images to put on your avatar for way more money than the entire game is worth
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
Roblox: Oh, you want to play something enjoyable? Have fun with that.
Unnamed Hooman 4 years ago
Roblox: We were too lazy to come up with a game, so we decided to let you do it.
Linn Shonta 4 years ago
Got to be careful on some of these games!! A lot let you do well on first 10 levels, get you hooked, then only to continue with game is by buying expensive “bundles”! I have deleted many app games because of this practice and tell my kids the same thing! It’s not a good game if you have to buy stuff for the game to get to the next level! I wish more people would realize this because I not here to support the lifestyle of app developers or designers!!
#35
EA: Go get your parents credit card
DennyS (denzoren) 4 years ago
FIFA was so much fun when you just bought the disk at the store and that was it...you could play to your heart's content.
#36
Red bull - I hope you like heart palpitations
Nazda Pokmov 4 years ago
Red Bull if you drink too many you WILL get wings from a heart attack.
#37
Nike: Just Screw It - Because you don't care how many kids die so long as you got cool shoes.
#38
Steam: remember that over 70% of your games are unplayed
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
Wanna hear BoredPanda's slogan? BoredPanda: W█ cut down ███ lists just ██cau██ we █an.
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Steffen Rehm 4 years ago
I am so boring, every Game in my libraries are played. Ok with one exception, never played the witcher 3, because i was so hyped, i watcht too much of it on youtube.
#39
Olive Garden: When you’re here, we hate you and your family
Nazda Pokmov 4 years ago
Olive Garden for those who enjoy waiting forever to be served and get their food.
#40
Reddit - post , repost, rinse repeat
Not a Made up Name 4 years ago
So true, same old post, different headline
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Marco Hub-Dub 4 years ago
Ironic that this very list here we’re reading was lifted directly from Reddit. As is 80% of BP (with Twitter, Buzzfeed, FB & IG making up the rest)
Marco Hub-Dub 4 years ago
Isn’t BP just a readers digest of other sites lists, namely and foremost, Reddit? In other words, they’re important enough that BoredPanda wouldn’t exist without them.
Load More Replies... #41
H&R Block, because getting f****d by yourself just ain’t no fun.
Requiem 4 years ago
BULL S**t. i GET 3Ggrand back every year thanks to H&R and they take like 70 bucks, boo hoo
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 4 years ago
Where are you where you're only paying $70? They charge me $200 for a simple tax return.
Load More Replies... lara 4 years ago
Here is a "Catch 22". They, the IRS, says you should save your tax information for at least 7 years. BUT, they can challenge your taxes paid since you first started paying taxes to the IRS, they can go back twenty or thirty or fifty years and it is up to YOU to prove that you paid the correct amount of taxes. But, hello, you threw away all those papers after 7 years.
#42
Taco Bell- same food, different shapes
Janos Schumacher 4 years ago
TB is awesome. I've been eating there since it was Zantigo. It's food. Still better than Leeann Chin, which I also like. It doesn't ask for your respect, it's just a lot of food for cheap.
#43
Starbucks We serve you decaff if you're rude
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 4 years ago
Don't think there's a difference in taste. Either way, coffee isn't that much of an energy boost unless you have more than 2 cups in a sitting.
JustAnother Soul 4 years ago
I had a coffee from Starbucks once. It didn’t taste like any coffee I’ve ever had before and thats not a compliment.
#44
subway: eat frozen, prepackaged or chemically preserved
Nazda Pokmov 4 years ago
Subway. We use the best in floor scrapings to ensure you will get ill.
#45
Dasani. When you have no other choice.
Nazda Pokmov 4 years ago
Dasani when the other choice is the water in the toilet or the back of the toilet.
#46
Domino’s: You’ll F*****g Eat It
Dre Mosley 4 years ago
It's improved, but of the franchise pizzas, it's never my first choice.
Pat Bond 4 years ago
Domino's is garbage, Welsh rarebit is the best cheese on toast you'll eat.
Load More Replies... ZAPanda 4 years ago
it's ok, you are allowed to be objectively incorrect and stick to your guns.
Load More Replies... #47
Marlboro cigarettes aborting more babies than planned Parenthood
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Planned Parenthood US can't perform... Oh never mind. nobody cares about fact
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
luckily most states still respect women's reproductive rights, unlike Texas.
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#48
Toyota: We make immortal cars for civilians and terrorists.
James Tuttle 4 years ago
Q-Tip- We know you'll put it in your ear, but tell you not to so we can't be sued.
What do you think ?
XenoMurph 4 years ago
A good Brie, Munster, Roquefort, with a nice red wine, Merlot for me... awesome.
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Daniel Atkins 4 years ago
Twitter gang up and mentally terrorize a celebrity with other random people.
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GoddessOdd 4 years ago
The Chive: content lifted directly from BP and others, but with plastic ta tas and angry conservative white guys added
Davis the Un-Greatest 4 years ago
Demilked does the same thing. If you go to their website right now, you’ll see every article is from BP.
Load More Replies... Daniel Atkins 4 years ago (edited)
Pinterest tell your life story to someone who just wants your cookie recipe.
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RandomX123 4 years ago
Social Media: Either you suck at real-life interactions, or you're an iNfLuEnCeR
Don't read my username 4 years ago
Etsy: You want to buy a 50ft tall model of a poop? No? Well Tom is selling some, here's a recommendation!
XenoMurph 4 years ago
A good Brie, Munster, Roquefort, with a nice red wine, Merlot for me... awesome.
Load More Replies... Daniel Atkins 4 years ago
Twitter gang up and mentally terrorize a celebrity with other random people.
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 4 years ago
The Chive: content lifted directly from BP and others, but with plastic ta tas and angry conservative white guys added
Davis the Un-Greatest 4 years ago
Demilked does the same thing. If you go to their website right now, you’ll see every article is from BP.
Load More Replies... Daniel Atkins 4 years ago (edited)
Pinterest tell your life story to someone who just wants your cookie recipe.
Load More Replies... RandomX123 4 years ago
Social Media: Either you suck at real-life interactions, or you're an iNfLuEnCeR
Don't read my username 4 years ago
Etsy: You want to buy a 50ft tall model of a poop? No? Well Tom is selling some, here's a recommendation!
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