Couple Breaks Up After Bride Changes Her Mind About Making The Bridal Party Bleach Their Hair
Some people have a “dream wedding” in their head that they plan to execute, regardless of the circumstances. There is nothing wrong with going all out for your special day, but there is a point where one’s vision starts to interfere with someone else’s literal bodily autonomy.
A bridesmaid asked the internet for advice after her refusal to bleach her hair for a wedding caused some drama. The bride would not take no for an answer and was ready to argue over the bridesmaid’s hair. We reached out to the brunette in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
A big, themed wedding might sometimes be more trouble than it’s worth
Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich / pexels (not the actual photo)
Drama ensued when a bridesmaid refused to bleach her natural hair just for a weddings aesthetic
Image credits: Emma Bauso / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Black Star / pexels (not the actual photo)
The bridesmaid gave a few more details in her post
Image credits: bleachdyeproblem
Brides are often demonized for wanting things done a certain way
The term “bridezilla” gets thrown around a lot, normally unjustly. After all, unfortunately, brides do tend to perform most of the work when it comes to planning and organizing weddings. It’s not hard to see how this can end up causing some amount of entitlement and resentment. After all, a wedding is a big undertaking, not just emotionally, but also financially and logistically. Sometimes, no matter how much you try, your guests will end up just doing their own thing.
However, as entitled as a bride might feel, there have to be limits, and another person’s body is a pretty clear one. The term bridezilla, a combination of the word bride with the suffix “-zilla”, as in Godzilla, was coined in 1995, by Boston Globe writer Diane White. She was writing about, you guessed it, brides who had unreasonable demands.
This can be a difficult knot to disentangle, as often women end up demonized for wanting their own wedding to be a certain way. After all, it is supposed to be a very special day, one that theoretically will never be repeated, so you can’t exactly blame someone for having a vision for it. But it’s also always important to temper one’s expectations. After all, no matter how much you plan, things can always go awry, as various stories on the internet have shown.
Image credits: Terje Sollie / pexels (not the actual photo)
Being picky and demanding isn’t necessarily a bad thing
So one should hesitate before rolling your eyes and calling someone a bridezilla for being picky. That being said, while asking someone to bleach their hair might be a tad much, the real issue was just how defensive this bride became when she was told no. It’s hard to imagine guilt tripping someone who is ostensibly your friend with phrases like “you will ruin the photos” when they don’t want to change their body for you.
To put things into perspective, this might not be the worst “bridezilla” story out there. For example, a few years back, there was a bride who decided to set up an entrance fee for her guests. The price? A cool $1500. Perhaps not shockingly, when the guests refused, she not only called off the wedding but the entire marriage. Bridezilla indeed.
That particular bride might be an outlier, but some brides do have way too many demands of their bridal party. For example, we’ve written before about a bride who wanted her bridesmaids to fork over hundreds of dollars for hotel rooms, one-time use shoes and custom dresses. Asking your bridal party to do these things is still in the realm of acceptability, but getting angry when they refuse is taking it too far.
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / pexels (not the actual photo)
Fortunately, this story seemed to have a happy ending
In this case, we simply have a bride who is perhaps too stressed out to really see just how far fetched her ideas are. Altering one’s hair and wearing contacts just for the photos goes beyond “dream wedding” and veers into the territory of obsession. It might look good for her, but most people wouldn’t care at all when looking at your wedding photos, so it’s questionable if this is worth ending a friendship over. Particularly when the photographer might not even show up.
Fortunately, the brunette shared an update later, which can be found below. Fortunately for all involved, the bride made the decision to scale back her expectations. So perhaps her wedding won’t look exactly how she wanted, but instead she will have a wedding with her friends present, which seems like a good deal, all things considered.
Image credits: Eko Agalarov / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some readers were surprised and wanted more info
Most thought she was in the right to refuse
The bridesmaid later shared an update
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: bleachdyeproblem
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
This was a rollercoaster, and included that rare unicorn - a bridezilla who realised how messed up her demands were. Sucks that the wedding is off now, but the ex-fiancee sounds like a douche, with a numpty of a best man.
"One of us looks terrible, so now six others have to also look terrible" is the kind of drunken logic that's as weak as "hey it's 1AM let's bleach our hair now"... Clearly Mr Orange can be quickly painted back to brown/black!? When you're faced with the reality that it looks horrible, why multiply the problem!? Bullet dodged!
Load More Replies...Reading the last update, I think she's done the bride a favour in the long run. A groom as stupid & demanding as this is NOT going to make a supportive and caring husband. She can do better.
How far is he going to take the "eye-for-an-eye" revenge?? "Kid, you insisted on seeing Santa and then started crying because he's scary. Just for that, I'm not getting you any presents. C'mon, stop crying and suck it up, you thought Santa was real??"
Load More Replies...Giving your wedding party instructions on what to wear is fine. Requiring them to make changes *to their actual bodies* is not. Also, that last update was a rollercoaster!
To me the biggest and best part of this was when the bride understood her error, owned it, and made amends. This is very human situation that played out well (until the last update where the wedding was called off). The internet showed a great example of real life that rarely makes it to social media. People really can be decent.
Wow, that was quite the plot twist. I thought the groom was going to find out how crazy demanding his bride to be was and call off the wedding. Instead she is the good guy that can listen, learn, and move forward. Hopefully Zoe can keep moving forward without a douche like Frank.
When I read " at first it seemed reasonable" and I read what OP as reasonable refers to I realized that weddings in the US have become more and more out of touch with reality.
If photos and videos are more important than her friends, why doesn’t she just hire actors or models?
And if someone's hair color is going to screw up the whole MARRIAGE (you know, the long-term mundane part that comes AFTER the whole princess/empress extravaganza Instagram shoot), that says some very bad things about maturity levels and the relationship between the couple.
Load More Replies...That was insane. I would not bleach my hair or wear contacts for someone's wedding. F**k that noise. Bride sounds very superficial.
As soon as I hear about a bride's "vision" I see red flags. If you want to cosplay a princess go ahead, but don't expect me to play along with that nonsense.
I hope the two with RED hair - the strawberry blonde and the redhead - stand up to this bride. So many things can go TERRIBLY wrong when natural redheaded people mess with hair coloring/bleaching. I say this as the daughter of a beautician AND a redhead.
Isn‘t strawberry blonde just blonde? A ginger is a redhead
Load More Replies...Your drunken dude bro is upset his hair is orange because he's an idiot? And the groom is upset to the point of losing his mind over this? Sounds like she dodged a bullet.
In which world would an 80+ y old couple care about hair colour at a wedding!?!
In which world would 4 men agree to bleach their hair for some other dudes wedding? Had they switched the bride and groom roles in this fable, it just might've been believable.
Load More Replies...Had someone told me I need to bleach my hair to be in her wedding, I’d have said, “Great! And you hafta get face tattoos for my wedding! It’s a win/win!” I was relieved to read in the update that it was all off the table and the bride realized what a monster she’d been, but then when I got to the part about the groom saying “Because my drunken best friend is an idiot, the bleaching is back on!” and just threw my hands up. These people aren’t adult enough to marry.
I don't understand this thing that bridesmaids should have the same eye/hair colour/length/height/build etc. the same dress, sure. but if you want them all to look the same, rather than to be the friends you supposedly care about and want to share your day with, then hire them from a casting agency. get married with strangers as bridesmaids. have fun. if your friends hair colour, eye colour, weight, tattoos etc. will "ruin" your wedding photos, then you probably aren't their friend. if you find their appearance so disgusting. any reasonable person will look at those photos, and want to see their friends, LOOKING like their friends, who were there to celebrate with them and support them. not a line up of identical models.
The only thing it shows is that the groom and the groomsmen aren't smart. If they don't know how damaging and stupid it is to home-bleach, frankly I don't think it's a good idea to marry a person who lacks common sense. Oh and what the groom said also shows he's an a**. Op should be happy for Zoe- she dodged a bullet and op helped.
Nope. If bride wants her to have bleached blonde hair she can buy her a wig. Solved.
If the OP's refusal to change her hair color truly led to the split, she should take comfort. If it weren’t the stupid quarrel about hair, something else would have happened to break this couple up as both seem too immature to be marrying anybody.
I've got the blue eyes but I've tried multiple times and my black hair just doesn't bleach. It maybe goes slightly dark brown in places but not enough to be a snow queen or a good nazi!
The Groom had a 'Suzy Sorority Titty Fit'? Sounds like poor Zoe dodged a Big Bullet! Feel sorry for the fool who thought it was a great idea to home bleach while he & his buddy were drunk (" seemed like a good ideer at the time!") But this whole fiasco was a train wreck ready to happen.
So, the girls knew what the outcome would be and stood firm. The bride caught up all is well but then the boys did a drunken stupid thing (ok, partly due to their lack of experience with the product) and now everyone has to do the drunken stupid thing so they wont stand out? Proof that the brides are not the only ones going overboard. Sorry for the bloke with orange hair.
Wow that ending. Glad the bride saw the light and no one but the drunken idiot best man and former husband-to-be arr the ones that ruined everything and are to blame not OP and not the former bride. Sounds like she dodged a bullet there.
I was told I had to get a perm when I was a bridesmaid to my aunt aged 15; I refused and for once my mum stuck up for me saying it's my hair, my choice. It never happened so I guess my aunt backed down. No one has the right to ask you to make big changes to parts of your body just for their wedding day. It's crazy!
This was a rollercoaster, and included that rare unicorn - a bridezilla who realised how messed up her demands were. Sucks that the wedding is off now, but the ex-fiancee sounds like a douche, with a numpty of a best man.
"One of us looks terrible, so now six others have to also look terrible" is the kind of drunken logic that's as weak as "hey it's 1AM let's bleach our hair now"... Clearly Mr Orange can be quickly painted back to brown/black!? When you're faced with the reality that it looks horrible, why multiply the problem!? Bullet dodged!
Load More Replies...Reading the last update, I think she's done the bride a favour in the long run. A groom as stupid & demanding as this is NOT going to make a supportive and caring husband. She can do better.
How far is he going to take the "eye-for-an-eye" revenge?? "Kid, you insisted on seeing Santa and then started crying because he's scary. Just for that, I'm not getting you any presents. C'mon, stop crying and suck it up, you thought Santa was real??"
Load More Replies...Giving your wedding party instructions on what to wear is fine. Requiring them to make changes *to their actual bodies* is not. Also, that last update was a rollercoaster!
To me the biggest and best part of this was when the bride understood her error, owned it, and made amends. This is very human situation that played out well (until the last update where the wedding was called off). The internet showed a great example of real life that rarely makes it to social media. People really can be decent.
Wow, that was quite the plot twist. I thought the groom was going to find out how crazy demanding his bride to be was and call off the wedding. Instead she is the good guy that can listen, learn, and move forward. Hopefully Zoe can keep moving forward without a douche like Frank.
When I read " at first it seemed reasonable" and I read what OP as reasonable refers to I realized that weddings in the US have become more and more out of touch with reality.
If photos and videos are more important than her friends, why doesn’t she just hire actors or models?
And if someone's hair color is going to screw up the whole MARRIAGE (you know, the long-term mundane part that comes AFTER the whole princess/empress extravaganza Instagram shoot), that says some very bad things about maturity levels and the relationship between the couple.
Load More Replies...That was insane. I would not bleach my hair or wear contacts for someone's wedding. F**k that noise. Bride sounds very superficial.
As soon as I hear about a bride's "vision" I see red flags. If you want to cosplay a princess go ahead, but don't expect me to play along with that nonsense.
I hope the two with RED hair - the strawberry blonde and the redhead - stand up to this bride. So many things can go TERRIBLY wrong when natural redheaded people mess with hair coloring/bleaching. I say this as the daughter of a beautician AND a redhead.
Isn‘t strawberry blonde just blonde? A ginger is a redhead
Load More Replies...Your drunken dude bro is upset his hair is orange because he's an idiot? And the groom is upset to the point of losing his mind over this? Sounds like she dodged a bullet.
In which world would an 80+ y old couple care about hair colour at a wedding!?!
In which world would 4 men agree to bleach their hair for some other dudes wedding? Had they switched the bride and groom roles in this fable, it just might've been believable.
Load More Replies...Had someone told me I need to bleach my hair to be in her wedding, I’d have said, “Great! And you hafta get face tattoos for my wedding! It’s a win/win!” I was relieved to read in the update that it was all off the table and the bride realized what a monster she’d been, but then when I got to the part about the groom saying “Because my drunken best friend is an idiot, the bleaching is back on!” and just threw my hands up. These people aren’t adult enough to marry.
I don't understand this thing that bridesmaids should have the same eye/hair colour/length/height/build etc. the same dress, sure. but if you want them all to look the same, rather than to be the friends you supposedly care about and want to share your day with, then hire them from a casting agency. get married with strangers as bridesmaids. have fun. if your friends hair colour, eye colour, weight, tattoos etc. will "ruin" your wedding photos, then you probably aren't their friend. if you find their appearance so disgusting. any reasonable person will look at those photos, and want to see their friends, LOOKING like their friends, who were there to celebrate with them and support them. not a line up of identical models.
The only thing it shows is that the groom and the groomsmen aren't smart. If they don't know how damaging and stupid it is to home-bleach, frankly I don't think it's a good idea to marry a person who lacks common sense. Oh and what the groom said also shows he's an a**. Op should be happy for Zoe- she dodged a bullet and op helped.
Nope. If bride wants her to have bleached blonde hair she can buy her a wig. Solved.
If the OP's refusal to change her hair color truly led to the split, she should take comfort. If it weren’t the stupid quarrel about hair, something else would have happened to break this couple up as both seem too immature to be marrying anybody.
I've got the blue eyes but I've tried multiple times and my black hair just doesn't bleach. It maybe goes slightly dark brown in places but not enough to be a snow queen or a good nazi!
The Groom had a 'Suzy Sorority Titty Fit'? Sounds like poor Zoe dodged a Big Bullet! Feel sorry for the fool who thought it was a great idea to home bleach while he & his buddy were drunk (" seemed like a good ideer at the time!") But this whole fiasco was a train wreck ready to happen.
So, the girls knew what the outcome would be and stood firm. The bride caught up all is well but then the boys did a drunken stupid thing (ok, partly due to their lack of experience with the product) and now everyone has to do the drunken stupid thing so they wont stand out? Proof that the brides are not the only ones going overboard. Sorry for the bloke with orange hair.
Wow that ending. Glad the bride saw the light and no one but the drunken idiot best man and former husband-to-be arr the ones that ruined everything and are to blame not OP and not the former bride. Sounds like she dodged a bullet there.
I was told I had to get a perm when I was a bridesmaid to my aunt aged 15; I refused and for once my mum stuck up for me saying it's my hair, my choice. It never happened so I guess my aunt backed down. No one has the right to ask you to make big changes to parts of your body just for their wedding day. It's crazy!
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