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Woman Barges Into A Couple’s House Uninvited With A Child, Shames Them For Being Intimate
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Woman Barges Into A Couple’s House Uninvited With A Child, Shames Them For Being Intimate

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Home is a place where we feel the most at ease. We can let go of a long day’s stress, cut loose, and do what we want without being judged. Unless something unexpected happens (gasps in telenovela).

Redditor Throwra6390 and his fiancée were both at home after a few drinks, with a locked door, starting to get steamy in their living room. Suddenly, they hear the rattling of keys and see their sister-in-law on their doorstep holding her baby. Realizing what she barged in on, she angrily left, shaming them for being indecent and threatening to never bring her kids there ever again.

Getting caught in the act isn’t something one dreams about

Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)

This couple were busted in their own living room and even got shamed about it

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Image credits: natalyaraeva / envato (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: throwra6390

Expert advises how to diffuse awkwardness when getting walked in on

Getting caught in the act (yes, that act) comes up quite high on the list of nightmares one doesn’t want to experience. Unfortunately, Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak isn’t an option, and all that’s left is to deal with the mortification both parties feel in real life.

Luckily, etiquette experts have covered almost every possible human situation to help us understand how to behave in them, including getting caught when in the mood. In such a scenario, experts advise focusing on manners. “Etiquette is about putting others at ease,” says lifestyle expert, Elaine Swann, to media outlet Women’s Health. And it’s especially applicable in these circumstances, as the other person will feel the opposite after what they just saw.

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She advises to be honest with oneself about how upset or possibly angry the observer will be. However, don’t automatically act like it’s something wrong (unless it truly is). If it’s a family member who walks in, this can trigger fears of being in trouble from the young days. But as adults, you can react to the situation like one. Give them space and time without making an immediate fuss or running after them with apologies.

If they’ll for sure be offended, saying a formal apology can help. Even though the thought of it makes your skin crawl, it’s important to do it together. At the same time, it can bring partners together because they’ll be working out the conflict as a team.

When a friend catches a couple mid-action, the treatment should be similar. “Give it some time so the embarrassment can subside, then tell her you’re sorry she had to see that,” recommends Swann. On the other hand, if it’s your wild childhood best friend, you can crack jokes as much as you wish. Making fun of it with parents isn’t the best idea, but it’s completely fine with a close confidant.

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The exception is if it’s a roommate who walked in on you during the act in a shared space. In that case, apologize and promise it will never happen again. Propose cleaning and disinfecting every surface touched by body parts as a peace offering, Swann says.

As for processing it within the relationship, it’s best to see it as a fun experience. Experts encourage couples to see the bright side and laugh it off. They can think of it as a great story to reminisce on when they’re all gray and old.

Commenters were on the couple’s side

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Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

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Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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Libstak
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Getting the key back is not enough, locks need to be changed and a doorbell camera would help.

Giraffy Window
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely the locks need to be changed. There's no guarantee she hasn't made "Just in case" copies. No one in their right mind let's themselves into another person's house to dump their child without calling ahead of time.

Load More Replies...
Trillian
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those insults are a bit rich coming from someone who had her first kid at 17.

SheamusFanFrom1987
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The audacity in telling people they cannot get it on in their own homes while trespassing! If OP, fiance and Ryan haven't burn their bridges with Erica already, now would be an o-key do-key time to start turning on the flamethrowers already (Ryan's case might be a bit hard because of the kids but OP and fiance should have zero problems doing so). SMH!!!

Penny Fan
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmmm, she was planning to leave the kid there without them knowing. They'd have woken up to a baby in the living room.

Ken Beattie
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or woken up at 3am when Erika snuck back in to collect the baby after whatever she was doing. Assuming this was the USA Erika was lucky they didn't shoot her.

Load More Replies...
Donna Peluda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cut it with her, she is using the kids to for emotional bribery. The fact that you baby sit 3 kids free is amazing in the first place. You brother needs to man up and face her. I would also que a paternity test cos it sounds like your brother has no balls.

ThatG
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Key or not, entering a property without permission is still breaking and entering… she should be arrested for trespassing.

Gwyn
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ok but I suggest there was some other reason why she was letting her self in the house in the middle of the night. Her explanation doesn't make sense. She was covering for being mad that she was interrupted in whatever her plan was. Does she know where you keep jewelry or money? Get a safe

DarkViolet
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Erica should be told in front of Ryan that she is NEVER to drop by again without calling first and asking permission. She also owes your fiancé an enormous apology for her atrocious behavior. Also, OP needs to have a private meeting with his brother about Erica. She is wreaking havoc and causing damage in his relationship with his family. Ryan really needs to stand back and seriously evaluate what has transpired up to this point. There are obvious red flags he's missed, but everyone else haven't.

Michelle C
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't believe y'all stopped!!! Just keep going, tell her to leave the child in the basket by the door...lmao

TheBlueBitterfly
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why nobody has a key to my house that doesn't already live here, and I have cameras all over my property. Call my partner names? How about that "unlawful entry" charge?

Tyke
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They should ask Erica what the hell she's doing taking a baby out at that time of night - why not just leave the baby with its Father?

Bewitched One
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She probably knows something that "it's father" doesn't, like that it isn't his. Why just the baby and not the other kids?!

Load More Replies...
Andrew Arons
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The most important question still needs to be answered: Did they manage to get back in the mood after the psycho girlfriend left?

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, she committed a criminal act. She stole your house key—you never gave her one. Then she used it to enter your home without your permission. You are absolutely NTA, and Erica sounds like a nightmare.

Andy Frobig
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if they'd been sitting watching TV, letting yourself into someone's house unannounced is more likely to get you shot than to get you free babysitting. That level of entitlement should lead to inpatient treatment

sharyn turnicky
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Change the locks, install security cameras without telling anyone you did ! Check if anything is missing or papers have been gone through. Erica doesn't sound like someone who would have a problem being a snoop or thief.

sheshark
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"fiancee" interjects calling Erica awful names, then is supposed to be the one who was doubtful? GTFOH

StarlightPanda!
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a horrible, dangerous, manipulative person, and should not be in their lives. And she's raising children? Good luck to them..

Cassie
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What even was her plan? If she expected they were home in any capacity to watch her child, why would she use the key to let herself in instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell?

Hey!
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apart from going into the house without permission (the key was taken without the brother knowing), it seems that they both drop their kids without asking first. That's a big no-no too. I would set rules before doing anything else for them. Also you don't just get the key back, you change your locks all over the house.

SillyPandaBunny
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Press charges against her for theft of the key and trespassing since she wasn’t invited to enter.

Paulo Leitao
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF MAN, how is this even a question ?! person who does not live in your home, goes into your home, with a stolen key, unvited, unanounced, and gets shocked that the home owners are having sex? and then remands an apology ?! WTF AM I EVEN READING HERE. she would NEVER be welcome again in my own home. this has to be in america, no ?

taylors version
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is their house!! if it was someone elses house it would be a different story, but its their house that they pay for, if they want to get it on in the living room, its perfectly fine.

Jaeger (Jaeger)
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok your brothers fiancée is a horrible person and GET THAT KEY BACK

UnknownFrost
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What would have been the strategy if they were upstairs? Would Erica have left the child on the living room floor and left, so the couple would awaken to a possibility crying child? Take the keys. Tell them to get wrecked. Erica is spiralling and nothing good will come out of giving in.

Helen Hoyle
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Change the locks and put a bolt on the door too! How dare she, late at night walk into your home unannounced!

CatLady
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I walked in on my 60-something year old parents. Ran out, horrified. Texted my sister to vent about the "ew" factor and how mortified I was. Unfortunately, I accidentally texted my dad, not my sister (similar names). So that made for a comfortable family dinner.

JP Purves
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So Erica and the brother are in an on again, off again marriage. She barged into your house at 11:30 at night to have you babysit an 11 month old child. Where exactly was she going that time of night? OP might suggest that the brother have DNA tests done to see if he is the father of some or any the three children.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
9 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Simba
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did the SIL have the keys to his apartment? No privacy in your own home! Stupid!

Lea S.
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is WILD. Do not watch those kids until she apologizes and admits she was in the wrong. Couples are allowed to do whatever intimate acts they want in the privacy of their OWN HOME (consensually of course). It is just beyond obnoxious that this other woman thinks she even has a leg to stand on. As far as your fiance goes - it's okay, sweetie. I get it. You just want to end the drama, she's gaslighting you, making you feel terrible. Don't do it. This woman is not right in the head. There's so much wrong here - walking into your apartment, expecting you to watch her kid without asking, insulting you. I've walked in on someone before, for like...a split second, I felt HORRIBLE. I felt like such an incredible a*****e, it happened years ago. The fact that she is insisting that she didn't do anything wrong is a HUGE red flag. I'd definitely be getting some extra security too, and if she doesn't call first, don't answer the door.

Giraffy Window
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only people that have a key to our house is my parents. The only reason THEY have a key at ALL is because we have pets. My sibling has no need to have access to our house, and we have no need to access theirs, no matter how well we get along.

Bewitched One
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. That way if we're out of town for multiple nights they can check in on them and make sure they still have food and water. My mom, bless her, did the few dishes in the sink and folded the laundry last time we were out of town (I was having a major surgery in another state). That was a good thing because it meant my fiancé could focus on helping me and I didn't have to worry about any mess!

Load More Replies...
Libstak
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Getting the key back is not enough, locks need to be changed and a doorbell camera would help.

Giraffy Window
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely the locks need to be changed. There's no guarantee she hasn't made "Just in case" copies. No one in their right mind let's themselves into another person's house to dump their child without calling ahead of time.

Load More Replies...
Trillian
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those insults are a bit rich coming from someone who had her first kid at 17.

SheamusFanFrom1987
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The audacity in telling people they cannot get it on in their own homes while trespassing! If OP, fiance and Ryan haven't burn their bridges with Erica already, now would be an o-key do-key time to start turning on the flamethrowers already (Ryan's case might be a bit hard because of the kids but OP and fiance should have zero problems doing so). SMH!!!

Penny Fan
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmmm, she was planning to leave the kid there without them knowing. They'd have woken up to a baby in the living room.

Ken Beattie
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or woken up at 3am when Erika snuck back in to collect the baby after whatever she was doing. Assuming this was the USA Erika was lucky they didn't shoot her.

Load More Replies...
Donna Peluda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cut it with her, she is using the kids to for emotional bribery. The fact that you baby sit 3 kids free is amazing in the first place. You brother needs to man up and face her. I would also que a paternity test cos it sounds like your brother has no balls.

ThatG
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Key or not, entering a property without permission is still breaking and entering… she should be arrested for trespassing.

Gwyn
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ok but I suggest there was some other reason why she was letting her self in the house in the middle of the night. Her explanation doesn't make sense. She was covering for being mad that she was interrupted in whatever her plan was. Does she know where you keep jewelry or money? Get a safe

DarkViolet
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Erica should be told in front of Ryan that she is NEVER to drop by again without calling first and asking permission. She also owes your fiancé an enormous apology for her atrocious behavior. Also, OP needs to have a private meeting with his brother about Erica. She is wreaking havoc and causing damage in his relationship with his family. Ryan really needs to stand back and seriously evaluate what has transpired up to this point. There are obvious red flags he's missed, but everyone else haven't.

Michelle C
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't believe y'all stopped!!! Just keep going, tell her to leave the child in the basket by the door...lmao

TheBlueBitterfly
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why nobody has a key to my house that doesn't already live here, and I have cameras all over my property. Call my partner names? How about that "unlawful entry" charge?

Tyke
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They should ask Erica what the hell she's doing taking a baby out at that time of night - why not just leave the baby with its Father?

Bewitched One
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She probably knows something that "it's father" doesn't, like that it isn't his. Why just the baby and not the other kids?!

Load More Replies...
Andrew Arons
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The most important question still needs to be answered: Did they manage to get back in the mood after the psycho girlfriend left?

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, she committed a criminal act. She stole your house key—you never gave her one. Then she used it to enter your home without your permission. You are absolutely NTA, and Erica sounds like a nightmare.

Andy Frobig
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if they'd been sitting watching TV, letting yourself into someone's house unannounced is more likely to get you shot than to get you free babysitting. That level of entitlement should lead to inpatient treatment

sharyn turnicky
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Change the locks, install security cameras without telling anyone you did ! Check if anything is missing or papers have been gone through. Erica doesn't sound like someone who would have a problem being a snoop or thief.

sheshark
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"fiancee" interjects calling Erica awful names, then is supposed to be the one who was doubtful? GTFOH

StarlightPanda!
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a horrible, dangerous, manipulative person, and should not be in their lives. And she's raising children? Good luck to them..

Cassie
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What even was her plan? If she expected they were home in any capacity to watch her child, why would she use the key to let herself in instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell?

Hey!
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apart from going into the house without permission (the key was taken without the brother knowing), it seems that they both drop their kids without asking first. That's a big no-no too. I would set rules before doing anything else for them. Also you don't just get the key back, you change your locks all over the house.

SillyPandaBunny
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Press charges against her for theft of the key and trespassing since she wasn’t invited to enter.

Paulo Leitao
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF MAN, how is this even a question ?! person who does not live in your home, goes into your home, with a stolen key, unvited, unanounced, and gets shocked that the home owners are having sex? and then remands an apology ?! WTF AM I EVEN READING HERE. she would NEVER be welcome again in my own home. this has to be in america, no ?

taylors version
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is their house!! if it was someone elses house it would be a different story, but its their house that they pay for, if they want to get it on in the living room, its perfectly fine.

Jaeger (Jaeger)
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok your brothers fiancée is a horrible person and GET THAT KEY BACK

UnknownFrost
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What would have been the strategy if they were upstairs? Would Erica have left the child on the living room floor and left, so the couple would awaken to a possibility crying child? Take the keys. Tell them to get wrecked. Erica is spiralling and nothing good will come out of giving in.

Helen Hoyle
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Change the locks and put a bolt on the door too! How dare she, late at night walk into your home unannounced!

CatLady
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I walked in on my 60-something year old parents. Ran out, horrified. Texted my sister to vent about the "ew" factor and how mortified I was. Unfortunately, I accidentally texted my dad, not my sister (similar names). So that made for a comfortable family dinner.

JP Purves
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So Erica and the brother are in an on again, off again marriage. She barged into your house at 11:30 at night to have you babysit an 11 month old child. Where exactly was she going that time of night? OP might suggest that the brother have DNA tests done to see if he is the father of some or any the three children.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
9 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Simba
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did the SIL have the keys to his apartment? No privacy in your own home! Stupid!

Lea S.
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is WILD. Do not watch those kids until she apologizes and admits she was in the wrong. Couples are allowed to do whatever intimate acts they want in the privacy of their OWN HOME (consensually of course). It is just beyond obnoxious that this other woman thinks she even has a leg to stand on. As far as your fiance goes - it's okay, sweetie. I get it. You just want to end the drama, she's gaslighting you, making you feel terrible. Don't do it. This woman is not right in the head. There's so much wrong here - walking into your apartment, expecting you to watch her kid without asking, insulting you. I've walked in on someone before, for like...a split second, I felt HORRIBLE. I felt like such an incredible a*****e, it happened years ago. The fact that she is insisting that she didn't do anything wrong is a HUGE red flag. I'd definitely be getting some extra security too, and if she doesn't call first, don't answer the door.

Giraffy Window
Community Member
9 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only people that have a key to our house is my parents. The only reason THEY have a key at ALL is because we have pets. My sibling has no need to have access to our house, and we have no need to access theirs, no matter how well we get along.

Bewitched One
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. That way if we're out of town for multiple nights they can check in on them and make sure they still have food and water. My mom, bless her, did the few dishes in the sink and folded the laundry last time we were out of town (I was having a major surgery in another state). That was a good thing because it meant my fiancé could focus on helping me and I didn't have to worry about any mess!

Load More Replies...
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