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Humor is arguably Britain's finest export. It's bold, witty, and full of puns, and can knock you out almost instantly. In fact, hands down the funniest person I know is from Manchester, England. (He also wrote for Bored Panda, so if you've been reading us for long enough, you might even know who I'm talking about.)
So let's take a closer look at the culture that molds it. Spanning across multiple social media platforms, British Memes is an online project that paints a vivid picture of what everyday life looks like in this corner of the world.
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#1
Pandaroo 3 years ago
I would be in either antarctica or deep space by then:D
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Mary Peace 3 years ago
I was the taxi driver. I did offer to just drive round the block and drop you off, but you insisted you wanted to go to the airport, so it's your choice.
Monday 3 years ago
Of course they insisted. If they stayed there's a chance they'd make eye contact with you again one day and you would remember and you would KNOW what really happened. They could not take the chance.
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Markus Holstein 3 years ago
Former workplace of mine had automatic doors with really badly adjusted sensors, so you had to wave your hand at them to get them to open. Directly in front of the door was a playground, and one day a little boy (maybe four years old) thought I was waving at him and waved back. It was so adorable
Hugh Cookson 3 years ago
I randomly wave at people in cars coming the other way ..... it's very satisfying ...
RELATED:
#2
Edward Monks 3 years ago
absolutly, the later the better. Post lunch me doesnt want to be sat working for hours and hours after eating
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
Most of my fellow employees took their lunch from Noon to 1. I took my 1 to 2. I had TWO HOURS away from them every day! (and vice versa) And it made for a short afternoon.
English comedian Ricky Gervais, who co-wrote, co-produced, and starred in the hit BBC series The Office, which was on air for two years and adapted for a U.S. series for eight seasons, thinks that a good way to describe British humor is to juxtapose it to its American counterpart.
"It's often dangerous to generalize, but under threat, I would say that Americans are more 'down the line,'" Gervais wrote in TIME. "They don't hide their hopes and fears. They applaud ambition and openly reward success."
#3
Adam Belaire 3 years ago
I read that in Wallace's voice (from Wallace and Gromit for those who were curious)
Nizumi 3 years ago
Plunked myself down on the 271 bus next to a man who turned to me and said, in a tired Irish brogue, "I don't like Mondays." As it was actually a Monday, I responded with "Tell me why."
Memere 3 years ago
That only applies at home. Never in public, at least for me.
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#4
Andrew Gibb 3 years ago
Never go on the Chunnel on a Motorbike- you have to sit on it the whole time so that it doesn't fall over
#5
Night Owl 3 years ago (edited)
I can try that but I don't think the owners (or renters) of said doors and the adjected rooms would agree with our reasoning
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G R 3 years ago
Ohhhh. The other day I was sitting in a cafe and a couple stood in front of the door for a looooong time trying to get it to open, before I felt I had no choice but to go up and explain that it wasn't an automatic door, just a regular door that you have to, you know, push. (To be fair it's an exit only door with no handle and it does look sorta like an automatic door.)
Sir Beer Korma 3 years ago (edited)
Or slides (making star trek sound effects is mandatory)
Load More Replies..."Brits are more comfortable with life's losers. We embrace the underdog until it's no longer the underdog. We like to bring authority down a peg or two. Just for the hell of it," Gervais explained.
"Americans say, 'have a nice day' whether they mean it or not. Brits are terrified to say this. We tell ourselves it's because we don't want to sound insincere but I think it might be for the opposite reason. We don't want to celebrate anything too soon."
#6
Monday 3 years ago
yeah well realising is spelt with a "z" so I'm guessing this bloke isn't British.
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Cappy 3 years ago
Realize spelt with a z. Chips not crisps. Watching "tv"... I'm guessing this isn't British after all
Dazza The Jazza 3 years ago
This isn't British surely? The spelling and the word "chips". Great idea though!
Kayjunmoon 3 years ago
This is not British unless by chips you mean hot fried potatoes, otherwise it's crisps so why is it here?
#7
respulero 3 years ago
that "figure of speech" also exists in spanish. And many other languages I'm afraid
BadCat 3 years ago
LOL I get this. Not British but I've had some of my common sayings misunderstood on here. Like when I say "a bit", "kinda", "maybe". It's out of sarcasm, and Canadians get teased for it. Like the meme "I'm a little upset".
Aussie panda 3 years ago
I think Canadian maybe sounds a little bit like Australian. Don’t you think it’d be a bit better if your country was named Canadia?
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AnyOtherName 3 years ago
Ha reminds me of when I said " alright" to my Canadian mother in law and for some reason she was mortally offended and said it "hurt her heart" I'd speak to her so, until I explained it meant hello, then she said "I do not know the ways of your people" still makes me laugh
#8
Lorna Anne Skinner Emmons 3 years ago
I guess I raised my daughter as a Brit and didn't know it.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
Those thoughts you have randomly abt how you were made..
#9
Nick Jeffery 3 years ago
For me, you put the divider down after your shopping to ensure nobody else's stuff is on your bill, not to help the person behind...
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Kayjunmoon 3 years ago
Why would he be expected to say thank you? It also stops the woman's groceries getting mixed up.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
I'm in the UK, and I find most people move the divider for the next customer, and most people say thank you.
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Highwaytozen 3 years ago
Here in Sweden it's considered rude not to put a divider down after you've put all your items on the conveyer belt
Memere 3 years ago
I do this in the U.S. unless there's no one behind me.
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Ninette T 3 years ago
Over here it's more like, if you can't be bothered putting down a divider, it's assumed you don't mind paying for the groceries 🤷🏼♀️
BadCat 3 years ago
But who puts it down when? I put down a divider for my stuff. When someone comes up behind me with one thing and I'm already at the debit machine and they just put down their item next to mine and the cashier thinks it's mine that doesn't mean I'm not straightening out the error.
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PaxScientia 3 years ago
You don't put down the divider for the next person. You put it down so the cashier knows where your purchase ends and you don't end up buying someone else's food.
Alex Boyd 3 years ago
FFS, The divider isn't for the person behind you; it's for the cashier, so she doesn't have to guess what each of hundreds of individual customers any given day might consider the appropriate-size gap to leave between their order and the one before!
CindyLouWho1209 3 years ago
It also indicates that the person behind you can begin loading their groceries on the conveyer belt.
Load More Replies... Gervais thinks Brits see failure and disappointment lurk around every corner. This is due to their upbringing. While Americans are raised to believe they can be the next president, Brits are told, "It won't happen for you."
The comedian also pointed out that while irony shows up in the smarter US comedies, Americans don't use it as much socially as Brits. "We use it as liberally as prepositions in everyday speech. We tease our friends. We use sarcasm as a shield and a weapon. We avoid sincerity until it’s absolutely necessary," he said. "We mercilessly take the piss out of people we like or dislike basically. And ourselves. This is very important. Our brashness and swagger is laden with equal portions of self-deprecation. This is our license to hand it out."
#10
Mary Peace 3 years ago
School in the UK starts around 9, or 8.45. I know it starts early in the U.S. I think that was the point.
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Roe Rainrunner 3 years ago
All the tests, all the pressure to fail, all that bullying, all that teenage-stuff... nope, thank you
Winter ️ 3 years ago
at work you at least get payed (although not much) for suffering and you don't have to do homework
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
Also, technically you can quit if you don't like it. With school, you were stuck
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Moosy Girl 3 years ago
You can still live that dream my friend, 6 of our teachers and 2 principals just quit, send in your application now! ;)
#11
Chewie Baron 3 years ago
What’s this shouting? We’ll have no trouble here! This is a local shop for local people.
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Aisling Raye 3 years ago
Not Facebook but on my neighborhood NextDoor - "suspicious newer model white sedan seen driving around the neighborhood several times a day. May be canvassing for homes to break into." Neighbor replies "I have a baby and she'll only nap if I'm driving around. I am not trying to rob you" After that post the neighbor driving around with her baby made a vinyl decal for her car that said "not a robber, just a mom." It's been almost 7 years and I still laugh when I think about it.
Sir Beer Korma 3 years ago (edited)
In our local crime and theft FB group today there was clear CCTV of someone shining a torch at a house. Lots of comments suggesting suitable punishment. Then the OP sheepishly revealed they had contacted the police, who were able to confirm it was a plain clothes policeman responding to reports of intruders and trying to find the right house number
Susan Thomas 3 years ago
OMG. That was legit on our local Nextdoor app in North Carolina the other day.
#12
Alex Schroeder 3 years ago
Just did, and I'm a dude who wouldn't wear makeup in public for a hundred bucks.
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Solidhog 3 years ago
You want her to a picture of her nipples while in Boots and then bring it to you? Kinky, but I like your style.
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Cara G 3 years ago
I'm just going to swatch my current lipsticks on my nipples to see if I already own this shade.
Weed in the Garden 3 years ago
THAT explains all the security cameras in the cosmetics department....
Sir Beer Korma 3 years ago
Any tips for getting a couple of lipstick spots off the front of my shirt?
#13
Daycare Attendant Sun 3 years ago
Night: I'm going to wake up early and get so much done! | Morning: I can get another hour and thirty-seven minutes of sleep.
Lazy Panda 3 years ago
"Tomorrow I'm going to get up as soon as my alarm gets off to exercise!"
This, Gervais has found, is sometimes perceived as nasty by the 'recipients' who aren't used to such customs, but he reassured everyone that it isn't. "It’s play fighting," he explained. "It's almost a sign of affection if we like you, and ego bursting if we don't. You just have to know which one it is."
"I never actively try to offend. That's churlish, pointless and frankly too easy. But I believe you should say what you mean. Be honest. No one should ever be offended by truth. That way you'll never have to apologize. I hate it when a comedian says, 'Sorry for what I said.' You shouldn't say it if you didn't mean it and you should never regret anything you meant to do."
#14
Luna Lovegood for Justice 3 years ago (edited)
Ummm.. sorry not British so sorry but I do not get it?
#15
Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
Ever since they started using those camo print cups...
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#16
Firstname Lastname 3 years ago
Ditto, but yelling HONK because I don't have a horn earns me strange looks.
Alex Taylor 3 years ago
I have 2 personal bug-bears: people who get to the top of (1) a moving staircase/escalator, and (2) through a door and then stop dead.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
I don't stop on the pavement but I do walk rather slowly these days. Why do people walk right behind me, then act so surprised when they knock into me?
DrGirlfriend 3 years ago
Set your phone to a big A*s Mac truck horn and long press that little thing until they run with fear. I'd be outta there so fast if I heard that as I bent over. I run off without shoes on if I heard that I'd just go away.
Pat Fowler 3 years ago
I always thought I was from another planet. Now I know I am originally from Britain.
Sharron Lindsay 3 years ago
Come on over. Just don't cross the channel in a dingy or you'll end up in Rawanda
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#17
Deborah Harris 3 years ago
It's a Peaky Blinders thing, the hairstyle is banned from schools in Wales lol
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Laugh or not 3 years ago
Do they also all go to the same hairdresser ? Is that cut mandatory at their school??
Sandra Moon 3 years ago
It, sadly, is the favourite haircut for Manchester boys
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That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
I want to go to parklife at some point, it looks fun and I live a train ride away from it!
Another thing that the rest of the world may not know is that in the UK nothing and nobody is off-limits, so you will regularly see politicians being ridiculed and anybody in the public eye, including the Royal Family, is fair game.
No wonder satire is so popular in the UK. As Gervais briefly mentioned, Brits love humbling people when they get too arrogant and there have been many comedy shows dedicated to exactly this type of humor, including Have I Got News For You and Weekly Wipe.
#18
Joybug 3 years ago
"hello, police, yeah, I get followed around. It's really creepy."
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Zack Podany 3 years ago
If you cut me off, you better not be going to the same place, or the back of your head will get the most passive-aggressive stare of your entire life.
#19
Debbie Barnes 3 years ago
Love island is awful. It's the kind of show that makes having root canal treatment a pleasure. Nothing to do with love and everything to do with getting a job in TV or getting a modelling career off the ground.
Miss Kat O 3 years ago
It's quite a commitment to watch too... a whole hour every day
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Sir Beer Korma 3 years ago
I thought Chlamydia was the name of one of the participants.
Load More Replies... James016 3 years ago
Fun fact, I live round the corner from the studio where they film Love Island After Sun. It may as well be Pretty Little Thing's Next Top Model
Fraxinus excelsior 3 years ago (edited)
And non of them have an ounce of fat on them,all have perfect beach bods,no wonder kids have body dismorphia, and the contestants are usually as shallow as a petri dish. But someone loves it, cos they keep producing the show.
#20
jon gilbertson 3 years ago
it took me over a year to get my dream body. ok, it took me a year to learn Photoshop.
#21
Hiram's Friend 3 years ago
And Mexican Coke is infinitely better than what's sold in the U.S. They still sweeten with sugar.
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Emma Dakin 3 years ago
Is it just me that goldilocks the cola?...Bubbles in a 2ltr bottle are too big, bubbles in a small bottle are too small but bubbles in a can are just right.
But the UK has also had a number of hit sitcoms where pretty much nothing happens apart from everyday life. There are no knee-slapping moments but a lot of cringey situations when you cannot believe someone has done or said what they have.
These sitcoms are subtle but absurdly funny and ones worth watching are Gavin and Tracy, I'm Alan Partridge, and The Royle Family.
#22
Blackheart 3 years ago
Our local hotdog restaurant calls hotdogs with just a hotdog and a bun "sad dogs." They call hotdogs with chili and a bun, but no hotdog "girl dogs."
#24
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
Tip of mans what? Nose? Thumb? Ear lobe? Nose hair?
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Aileen Grist 3 years ago
I knew a - not very bight - guy. The judge gave him 3 months and he said 'I can do that standing on my head'. The judge then gave him another 3 months to get him back on his feet.
#25
Chris D'Asta 3 years ago
My sister, in North Yorkshire, says she see's him in Stratford on Avon all the time.
#26
Memere 3 years ago
That was my first thought too, then I wondered how anyone could see the spaghetti.
Load More Replies... Aisling Raye 3 years ago
Even with many courses, this looks sad and incredibly unappetizing. If you're going to do this sort of thing, at least don't serve what looks like spaghetti with ketchup. FFS the bare minimum would be to plate it in a way that is somewhat presentable.
Memere 3 years ago
Definitely should have been served on smaller plates. And that is some pitiful spaghetti.
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Makajha Banjjjak 3 years ago
It's so you don't get stuffed on spaghetti, when another 15 courses is coming. Typical on Italian wedding for example (and definitely not my way of eating and digesting food, but Italians seem to enjoy it)
Susan Thomas 3 years ago (edited)
They know how her friends eat to keep “their figure,” so thought they’d avoid wastage.
#27
Laurence Thomas 3 years ago
I hope they have good hygiene standards for preventing covid, otherwise on your last day, you'll be leaving a little hoarse.
Weed in the Garden 3 years ago
Laurence - you need to see yourself out....
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Memere 3 years ago
That was my first thought - I grew up on a farm & mucked out a few stalls. That's NOT a smell I want where I'll be sleeping!
Load More Replies... Andrew Gibb 3 years ago
If you hear the theme tune to 'The Godfather' don't go rummaging in your bed.
Andrew Gibb 3 years ago
It is real! https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/45379296?source_impression_id=p3_1655214114_FXn2lBPT6K7TbJM2
Marlene Ricker 3 years ago
My sister would be in heaven with a horse sleeping in her room. Me, not so much.
#28
Rustella 3 years ago
Feel free to call me an idiot, but how exactly is that made? Looks so delicious.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
It's bread toasted, then covered with cheese and put back under the grill/broiler to get bubbly and brown. The difficult bit is covering the toast neatly so that you don't burn the edges when grilling the cheese
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#29
Analyn Lahr 3 years ago
But...but...my nibling was born in 2002 and I swear they're only like two...F**K!
Slim 864 GVG 3 years ago
Lol, I was born in 1973 and my daughter was born in 03, but it still seems like they should only be 10 or 11. Ugh, where did all of those years go?
Joseph Haines 3 years ago
Time and age are the same thing from different perspectives, Age is a state of mind, so therefore time is as well. Conclusion; time is fake actually and we’re all immortal.
#30
Brandi Delph 3 years ago (edited)
My dad - who could barely fix canned soup- invited me over to share in a butterscotch pie he had made himself. He was so very proud that he had made a pie! I get there, it's instant butterscotch pudding in a pre-made graham cracker crust topped with Cool Whip. But he had made pie!
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
I can bake and cook just about anything I try from scratch. Mousse, puddings, custards, creme Brule, all these no problem at all but I can't for the life of me get instant pudding to set. I'd be pretty proud too.
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Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
It looks delicious. I'd be proud of that too. And it does make quite an attractive screen saver.
#31
Alex Taylor 3 years ago
That's not a spade. It's a shovel. (Sorry, I've got my pedantic head on today.)
Dan Padgett 3 years ago
You aren't wrong. Raised sides, meant for moving stuff, not digging :)
Load More Replies... El Dee 3 years ago
This is a shovel. I think this is a reference to steam-train drivers who would cook food on the shovel they used for putting coal into the boiler thing..
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Oh yes. Maybe it's the 'Railway Station Cafe'. Am I on the right track?
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Sir Beer Korma 3 years ago
Yup, I would refuse and watch them cook fresh and serve on a plate.
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Mary Peace 3 years ago
The beans are in a bucket becos the juice wouldn't stay on the shovel. When I have a breakfast (on a plate) I sometimes ask for the beans in a dish. I don't like soggy hash browns.
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#33
No Fox Given 3 years ago
I once taken my cat to the vets. I was worried as she kept howling the house down when we came home from work. This went on for a couple of hours. Paid £150 to be told she was faking being ill for attention! My cat faked being in pain for attention!!!!!
RedPandasStandUprightWithPawsUpToLookIntimidating 3 years ago
This happens when dogs have been in water, not because they were happy, but rather because they use their tail as a "rudder" and the unusual activity strains the muscles that are also used for wagging. If no water involved, then probably too much wagging.
Ruby 3 years ago
This happened to my dog except the end of her tail split open and was bleeding everywhere. Basically just imagine a bloody tail being whipped at the speed of light constantly spraying little blood droplets. Our house looked like a crime scene
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
My dog had a small cut on the tip of his ear and did not appreciate the damp feeling on his ear so constantlyshook his head; we too had free crime scene decorations. And for those thinking it, no a bandage did not help because it would fly off or be pulled off his floppy ear
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#34
Cat Palmer 3 years ago
I looked it up (I'm sick and have nothing better to do): they're red spider mites and are considered a pest as they kill plants, so I guess they've been killed off with insecticide. Thanks for occupying my brain with something other than how ill I'm feeling for a few minutes!
censor 3 years ago
maybe as we're older we don't crawl aroundon the edges of swimming pools anymore... plus our eyes can't see s**t close up anyway.
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Chad Valentine 3 years ago
Funnily enough, I was in Madrid last week and saw some of these on a window sill and thought "I havent seen them in years!"
#35
ToGo 3 years ago
Lugging letters and parcels around in the heat for hours (then the snow/rain/ice in winter), worried if Tyson the territorial rottweiler will actually get one of your fingers this time.... No thanks.
RatherLoopy 3 years ago
In the U.S., the phrase "going postal" has somewhat less placid connotations.
Lizzy Crit 3 years ago (edited)
My babysitter lost her husband in the first incident. Had to get a new sitter as she had to return to full time work.
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Donnie Mc00 3 years ago
i did a year in the post office, ive never met such a group of angry people in my life.
Eat Dirt Crow 3 years ago
I managed to last 4 years. We had one carrier that came in looking angry all the time. Turns out he was always hung over from the heavy drinking every day. A good chunk of my office were discharged Marines, maybe that had something to do with it?
Load More Replies... Mary Peace 3 years ago
The posties I see are walking fast, becos they have to cover a lot of ground. Sometimes they have to do extra, still working at 6pm. And you can't just do the job for the summer months -- do you get Christmas cards in the post?
#36
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Full fat coke is the proper coke not the diet or sugar free options.
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Charl Marx 3 years ago
To be honest the "full fat" thing grates on me. My parents always call regular coke that. It's bloody sugar, not fat. And yep, my teeth definitely feel furry after drinking it!
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
Ooooh. Ok thanks for saying furry because I didn't quite understand the ugg reference. My mind was like what like a pimp in a gold cap wearing uggs? Literally imagined a gold tooth in a pimp hat and uggs. But yeah, definitely furry feeling on the rare occasion I drink it
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Edda Kamphues 3 years ago
Sugar makes your teeth feel furry. UGG boots are Australian sheepskin-lined slippers.
Lizzy Crit 3 years ago
Regular sugar filled coke, because it makes the drinker fat.
Load More Replies... #37
DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
British culture. Idk anyone talking about drinking cider, maybe stolen liquor or beer though.
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
Cider is an alcoholic drink in the UK, not just apple juice - it's stronger than beer most of the time.
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Starbelly Eleven 3 years ago
Mad Dog 20/20 and Boone's Farm could be considered bad cider if you squint just right.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
We used to go gnome nicking, except we'd actually move lawn ornaments to the garden next door. The neighbour would suddenly have gnomes and stuff in their lawn they'd previously only seen next door. I'm sorry, I still think this was hilarious. Fight me.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
Only front gardens this is, we didn't go into anyone's back garden. Ahaha.
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Marianne 3 years ago
In the US, it is illegal to drink in public and also the drinking age is 21, so this scenario is much wilder in the US than in the UK I guess.
Okiedokie 3 years ago (edited)
It’s not illegal to drink in public but if you’re so sloshed you’re being a terror then yes you will probably get arrested in the U.S. edit: apparently it is prohibited depending where you are, sometimes by state sometimes by local municipality. Weird. It’s not heavily enforced in most areas, I’ll say that for sure.
Load More Replies... Spankathon 3 years ago
I used to steal the bus stop posters and sell them
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Lesley Relph 3 years ago
In the US, cider is non alcoholic - unless it's 'hard' cider. I think...
Memere 3 years ago
Yep. Plain cider isn't alcoholic & hard cider is alcoholic.
Load More Replies... K O 3 years ago
I used to be able to down a liter of old english in under a minute and then boke it all up 5mins later. I would shout 'waterfall time' and every one would stand there watching me boke haha good times
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
And you seriously wonder why your cozntry voted BoJo into office?
Load More Replies... Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
We sing the songs that remind us of the good times..
Load More Replies... #38
Deborah Harris 3 years ago
What's stopping her is that the lowest amount you can withdraw at a cashpoint is £5.00 :D
Fraxinus excelsior 3 years ago (edited)
Only if the cashpoint has fivers, only one or two in my town have them. So you're stuffed if you only have £9.99 in the bank.
Load More Replies... #39
jon gilbertson 3 years ago
what do you consider snacks? I'm in the Midwest US. we do popcorn, chips (crisps), beef jerky. curious to what other cultures snack on.
Deborah Harris 3 years ago
Crisp multipacks, sausage rolls, chocolate, haribo sweets, microwave burgers :)
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Lorna Anne Skinner Emmons 3 years ago
If your in America go to a Dollar Store $1.25. It's loads cheaper that grocery stores
April 3 years ago
I was actually just talking about this a few weeks ago. The snack options from other countries always seem better and more interesting than ours even though we in the states probably have the most variety. And judging by Mr. Kiplings cherry bakewell tarts, I can say that the quality is definitely much higher.
Holly Benedict 3 years ago
TIL I don't know what snacks are. I want them but I never leave the store with any. Why are you in my fridge low fat yogurt? I didn't even want you.😮💨 And you lettuce, why do you go all wilty the day before I finally decide to have that salad?😒Does edemame count? 😔
#40
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
I knew a guy who was always 23 minutes late. We ended up telling his to be places 25 minutes earlier than we were due to start. It made a serious difference, and we could start things on time.
censor 3 years ago (edited)
didn't he find it sus when you said "pub crawl at 5:25?" instead of "at six"?
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Marla Singer 3 years ago
It's not necessarily a moral failing. People suffer from a variety of conditions that can cause poor time management, ADD among them.
Alex S 3 years ago
That's an explanation, not an excuse. It's your job to manage your conditions so they don't negatively impact other people. If you leave me sitting waiting for you for half an hour every time we meet up, I'm going to stop hanging out with you. It's disrespectful and rude.
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Sareaesque 3 years ago
I have a chronic problem of 'oh, I have 20 minutes, that means I can get something done' and then severely overestimating how much I can get done in that 20 minutes
Holly Benedict 3 years ago
I am rarely on time for anything, not on purpose but few things ever go according to plan. The depression and anxiety don't help, sometimes it takes more time and effort than i have available to get myself moving.
Linda Redenbaugh 3 years ago
My friend is Mexican. She told her friends her wedding started three hours earlier so they would be on time. This is serious stuff. Wouldn’t you want to be on time for your friend’s wedding!?
#41
kate h 3 years ago
You still need to take the base apart to clean the rubber ring and the blade base thoroughly. Even after blending soapy water, bacteria remains between those two components. Also, wash the rubber ring by hand. The dishwasher will harden it over time and you'll need to replace it.
#42
#43
Stymied Egan 3 years ago
Sadly I think about food all the time. What is there to eat? What do I feel like eating? Is it a grab and go or will I need to cook it? Do we have this or that? Dealt with this my whole life you'd think there was a time when food wasn't available to me and that is not the case.
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
Small town, southern USA here. Every event, holiday, or occasion is about the food and nothing but the food. We are completely foodcentric.
#44
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
The first one was great fun. The next couple were okay. The rest are, as the British would say, shite.
Stymied Egan 3 years ago
It was a big deal when they first came out. Nothing like it before etc. They didn't age well compared to what is out there now.
#45
Cherreka Wirth 3 years ago
So my daughter's name is an "adult" name. And everyone got mad at me when I named her that. "That's such an old lady name, not a cute little girls name". My response "I seriously hope my daughter spends more time as an adult than as a cute little girl, because names like cherreka (yes that's actually my real name) are really cute in a 4 year old, not so much in a 34 year old"
Mary Peace 3 years ago
At what age can Barry start using his name? And fashions in names go round full circle, just like in everything else. Let the baby be Barry, and he's a trend-setter.
#47
#48
censor 3 years ago
isn't that the queen's portable toaster that she's dropping those chocs into?
Cat the rat queen 3 years ago
This is funnier to me due to having watched the jubilee 3 times 1st was the actual thing 2nd was on the news and 3rd was ‘cause my mum and dad missed it
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#49
Adam Zad 3 years ago
In New York, I found the street crossings very rude. I got to the intersection and pressed the button to cross the street, and the system asked me how much I weighed! Really! It said, "Weight." I glowered at it and said, "About 275, not that it's any of your business!" And the street crossing said, "Wait."
Lorna Anne Skinner Emmons 3 years ago
It was saying don't go yet. Love your answer here. (American as a Native( Native American Indian humor))
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#51
Mary Peace 3 years ago
But I want some. Actually I only want the cherries.
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#52
Jessica Wood 3 years ago
I'd spend all day sitting on my front porch in a deckchair just to f**k with them.
Debbie Barnes 3 years ago
How can anyone be this stupid?.. Yep, you're banned from the street, the shops, going to A&E... Oh my god.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
You do what you want, so long as you don't expect any chicken. But next time you post something, please can you read it back first?
Lem Johnson 3 years ago
Mary it's Reddit, they're not being graded, no one gives a shite if they spell a word wrong.
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#53
#54
Lem Johnson 3 years ago
You do realise that you're relatives don't stop being your relatives by dying, right?
Load More Replies... #55
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
I love it when boomers are all 'yeah, you with your flat screen TV's'........alright Gavin, tell me where I can buy a working TV which ain't a flatscreen and I'll oblige...
#56
#57
#58
#59
#60
Deborah Harris 3 years ago
worse ... people who don't use gravy browning ... white gravy ...blurgghhhh!!!
#62
#63
#64
Mary Peace 3 years ago
That's why my hobbies include: walking, stop and buy a coffee to drink in, maybe read newspaper or chat to someone before walking some more. Enough coffee for one day.
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#65
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
Hate parents who thinks you owe them something just because they're doing their duty as parents.
#66
Gaspode the Wonder Dog 3 years ago
We dressed as Tudors and had to sit on the grass eating bread and cheese while the teacher's pets got to be Nobles and eat chicken with vegetables and cake,at this huge outdoor table. That is literally all I took from that experience,that and how to make a hanging orange with cloves in it to make the kitchen smell nice.
Cat the rat queen 3 years ago
No my school was normal and just went to the zoo every 2-3 months
#67
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Why is this blurred but readable? I know some people hate the censoring, but do it or don't.
Scagsy 3 years ago
They do that to trick people into thinking that their glasses have temporarily gone faulty.
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James016 3 years ago
If I had my way, I would have blackout curtains and no visible light at all.
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
Had that when I lived with my ex, totally f****d up sleep schedule, no matter the alarms. The brain just refused to wake up because it was dark af. Woke up all hours of the day, missed appointments, school and such because it was too damn dark. Doesn't matter if I got up to open the curtains, my head wanted to sleep. It sucked.
Load More Replies... Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago
I bought these little black out stickers that cover those dots up. They are so bright to me that you can read by them!
#70
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
This should be considered a hate crime. The chips are the whole point of going to the chippy.
#71
Weed in the Garden 3 years ago
The difference between being a connoisseur and just stuffing yer hole.
Load More Replies... Gaspode the Wonder Dog 3 years ago
I also want to know if she wears them on her fingers like rings
#72
Ton Kroon 3 years ago
Not at all. That's your introduction scene in their movie! Make it epic.
#75
Vanessa Richardson 3 years ago
Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today? Sheesh.
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#77
#78
Debbie Barnes 3 years ago (edited)
They're all exhibitionists.. This programme has given them a stage to go naked on live TV.
#80
#82
nooneimportant 3 years ago
you are just a little ball of sunshine; aren't you?
Load More Replies... Deux 3 years ago
I've avoided Sainsburys since the day I got banned from a branch. All I did was buy a bottle of water for work on the first day of lockdown. Staff had the cheek to tell me water wasn't an 'essential item.' I made them realise how stupid they sounded whcih resulted in them being embarrassed and banning me for making them look ridiculous.
#83
Fenchurch 3 years ago
No, brev. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brev
Load More Replies... #84
censor 3 years ago
you know the whole world is under the impression the uk has terrible food, and you are not helping.
Niamh Nomen 3 years ago
Everything on that plate is just a darker or lighter version of baby poo yellow.
Mooooooooooooooooooo 3 years ago
That looks lovely! (And I'm British, and I'm being totally serious)
Sandra Moon 3 years ago
Had pizza with the family after my wedding. 4 kids, dil, my mum. That was the sum total of our guests and no, thie wasn't in covid. Perfect wedding
Paul Harris 3 years ago
Looks like it has an example of every type of poo from the Bristol Stool Chart
Simon Chen 3 years ago
Thats why you meet british people in the remotest places in the world. They are hungry
#85
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 3 years ago (edited)
No orange is better. But pineapple and Mango are the best 2
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
It broke my heart when I became allergic to apples because damn that juice is good.
#86
Andrew Gibb 3 years ago
That is forever going to look like your passenger had explosive diarrhea. No matter how much you scrub.
#87
#88
Donnie Mc00 3 years ago
my family all do the same!! heres the full video for anyone who hasn't seen it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilsiCOYexuk
Gaspode the Wonder Dog 3 years ago
Thank you for posting that,never seen the video before,it's hilarious!
Load More Replies... #89
CaptainDinosaur 3 years ago
As an American, I would like to formally apologize to my British cousins for us not putting that turd back inside his mom when he was born.
#90
censor 3 years ago
*kerb. Curb = verb, to stop a behaviour. Kerb = edge of road. Yes, they come from the same source, it's just to differentiate them.
PVR 3 years ago
I reckon the post may be American. Kerb is curb in American.
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#91
ToGo 3 years ago
I was thinking the same. Tbf though, it's that tinned spaghetti with little sausages.
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Lem Johnson 3 years ago
That's the joke you miserable c**t. You need to lighten up, you're all up and down this thread being the Voice of Doom, it's the internet, take the stick out of your arsehole and chill.
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#93
censor 3 years ago
Hate to break it to you but it's the same everywhere. We're all wage slaves.
#95
#96
Missykai 3 years ago
Dundee 1993 £33k, Fife 1997 £32k. So yeah, up north.
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Anonymous Female 3 years ago
I just realized I was old when I realized someone in the late 90s is old enough to have kids. However, not kids old enough to make a post like that.
#97
USMCFelicia 3 years ago
Did anyone else lick their lips while reading this to check the level of dryness?
#98
#99
#100
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What do you think ?
Sir Beer Korma 3 years ago
This appears to be a list of random content with an unconnected title.
Wandaluzt 3 years ago
This is a clickbait site that steals it's content from other sites. I wouldn't be surprised if I were you.
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bill marsano 3 years ago
All in all, a very poor collection, the result pf poor editing. Very few of the examples are particularly British. Also, the headline is a grammatical blunder. Loved the toasted cheese, though.
Sir Beer Korma 3 years ago
This appears to be a list of random content with an unconnected title.
Wandaluzt 3 years ago
This is a clickbait site that steals it's content from other sites. I wouldn't be surprised if I were you.
Load More Replies... bill marsano 3 years ago
All in all, a very poor collection, the result pf poor editing. Very few of the examples are particularly British. Also, the headline is a grammatical blunder. Loved the toasted cheese, though.
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