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Woman Upset She Can’t Be A Bridesmaid Because Of Bride’s OCD, Splits The Internet
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Woman Upset She Can’t Be A Bridesmaid Because Of Bride’s OCD, Splits The Internet

Woman Upset She Can’t Be A Bridesmaid Because Of Bride’s OCD, Splits The InternetFamily Starts Questioning Engagement After Man’s Sister And SIL Get Excluded From Bridal PartyWedding Traditions Cause Tension As “Controlling” Bride Refuses To Compromise“He Is NOT Happy”: Family Drama Erupts When OCD Bride “Fires” A BridesmaidBride Wants Groom’s SIL To Perform Bridesmaid’s Duties Without Being A Bridesmaid, She Refuses“Too OCD To Handle Uneven Numbers”: Woman Refuses To Do Bridesmaid’s Tasks After Not Being Chosen“The Bride Is Too OCD”: Woman Snubbed By Being Excluded From Wedding By A BridezillaBride Can’t Handle ‘Uneven Numbers’, Ends Up In Tears After Bridal Party ChaosWoman Is Confused Why She Can't Be A Bridesmaid After Bride's Tearful Breakdown
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While every wedding is a bit different, generally, the trend is to include the people who are important to you. This goes double for the folks closest to the happy couple. As a result, finding out that you have been “cut” from, say, the bridal party is no doubt a punch in the gut.

A woman shared her disappointment for not being included in the bridal party after the bride decided that she “couldn’t handle” uneven numbers. Readers shared their thoughts and debated the bride’s intentions. We reached out to the woman in the story via private message and we’ll update the article when she gets back to us.

Removing your partner’s family from the wedding is a questionable choice

Image credits: Sincerely Media / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But one woman was shocked to learn that the bride didn’t invite her simply because she didn’t like uneven numbers

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Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Complex-Variety-2442

Weddings end up being dramatic, one way or another

Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Like so many stories shared by netizens, there are a lot of unknowns here. While from the woman’s perspective, it would look like she is being purposefully cut out, it’s maybe not the best idea to immediately assume the worst. After all, the woman herself admits that she hardly knows the bride in the first place, so why should she assume she would be a bridesmaid. Expectations around what a guest thinks a wedding should look like are, unfortunately, the cause of a lot of drama.

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In general, the heightened emotions around a wedding often lead to folks making questionable decisions, as it can be hard to take a step back. A wedding, while important, isn’t the end of the world, life (and relationships) will go on afterwards, one way or another. Unless the woman in the story has actual evidence that her being excluded was an act of malice, it might not be the best idea in the world to take it so personally.

At the same time, it must still be disappointing to end up excluded from the wedding of someone close to you. In the year 2024, the idea of a groomswoman is not strange at all and this should have been the woman’s first choice. As some commenters noted (the full debate can be found below) it’s the bride’s wedding, she can really do what she wants. There are cases where it can be taken too far, particularly if in-laws feel like they are being discriminated against, but all in all, every case is unique.

It can be hard to know someone’s intentions, so it’s probably best not to jump to conclusions

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Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Others have suggested that the bride is, perhaps, too controlling and that the marriage is doomed from the start. Since we only have one perspective, from a person who themselves claims to not know the bride that well, it’s hard to discern the truth. The title of “bridezilla” is thrown around a lot, sometimes without merit. Some are true “bridezillas” who have fully lost the plot and don’t understand it, but wanting “the most important day of your life” to go a specific way is not inherently bad.

The idea that she is too OCD might be a lie created to hide a less-pleasant truth, although the woman is still by no means entitled to be a bridesmaid. At the same time, what is controlling to one person makes total sense to another, we can’t exactly pinpoint these actions as malice just based on this description.

It’s also worth noting that the woman seems to be struggling with the idea of the brother-in-law and his new wife moving out, which is a bit questionable. Most folks can love their friends without actually wanting them to live in the same place. Since there just isn’t enough information about these various relationships, it’s rather difficult to pass judgment on the entire thing, which is perhaps why there was such a debate in the comments section.

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People needed more information on the whole debacle

Most thought she was in the right

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A few thought the happy couple gets the ultimate decision

And some believed that everyone was to blame

Ic_polls

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

What do you think ?
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POST
madbakes
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OCD does not mean particular. People need to stop f*****g saying it like it is.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she's that controlling, what are you doing supporting the wedding? Neither OP or her husband should be in the weddings probably not even go. Have a heart to heart with BIL and help him see controlling behaviour is not ok and the abuse will get worse. Stop hemming and hawing about bridal party and look out for your family.

Alexandra
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's odd that the bride is replacing you and groom's sister by two of her friends. So it has nothing to do with numbers, but rather with whom she really wants as her bridesmaids. That's her prerogative of course, being the bride, but dragging OCD out as an excuse is deceitful. Has she been properly diagnosed by an expert? If not, chances are she's highly manipulative and this does not augur well for this marriage. I'm very skeptical about her OCD because mental illness is trotted out every which way now by many. No, you're not depressed if your weekend has not gone according to plan and you feel low. This is coming from someone who knows and has experienced mental illness and has been able to find her way to being a functioning person, but never a happy one.

Isa's left eye
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can we PLEASE stop using OCD as an adjective? It's a serious mental disorder that can be debilitating. It isn't just being picky.

Ken Beattie
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how many of the comments from reddit are made by people not reading the whole post? Some of the people claiming she's the AH seem to be commenting on stuff that just isn't in her post. Like claiming she wants to be a bridesmaid and have stuff to do when it sounds like it's the opposite.

Maisey Myles
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d Say, “sorry I can’t be at the wedding but I will be there for the divorce”

Justme
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It used to be common to ask an honored guest to perform a role in the wedding that is other than bridesmaid or groomsman. Guestbook, programs, etc.

Papa
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bride-to-be sounds like a handful, but so does OP. "If I can't be a bridesmaid I refuse to help with the wedding!"

Trillian
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don't really do this bridesmaid-thing here, can someone explain this to me? If she wears the same clothes (I understand the bridesmaids usually wear the same dresses) and does the same jobs, how would she NOT be a bridesmaid? What is even the point of these bridesmaids?

FluffyDreg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Biggest thing is photos, but theres also events the bridesmaids are expected to thow/participate. They are the ones standing upfront in the ceremony by the bride a groom. Long story short, all the responsibilities but none of the credit.

Load More Replies...
Marykay Klim
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the sexes of the people involved were reversed, the woman would be warned about this being an abusive man. It sounds the same way in this situation If she is making so many decisions for him, telling him what he can and cannot do, that's. manipulation and its abusive.

Max Fox
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll add my voice to the people saying just because the bride wants things Just So, doesn't mean that she's OCD. The bride sounds like a nightmare, though. I actually feel that the bride is trying to isolate the groom. The only real reason that I see the bride doing this is is to keep his sister away from him during the wedding, and the mother has already been sidelined. I also don't get the idiots that are saying that the OP is the a$$hole. The Bride first told her that she would be a bridesmaid and then told her that she wouldn't., but that she would do all the grunt work so the bridesmaids could actually enjoy the wedding. The Bride is also a huge AH, because she made it seem that SHE was the one who was suffering and needed to be comforted when she cut the OP out of the wedding party. How anybody cannot see what is going on is beyond me.

mindblank
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F***k the bride! OCD, eat c**p! She just wants a way to kick y’all out of the wedding! She is abusive and controlling, and you do not want her in your life!

David L
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd declined all responsibilities, step back and be ready to support your brother in law when the s**t hits the fan

Scott Rackley
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't worry, you can be a bridesmaid at BIL's next wedding. Maybe.

madbakes
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OCD does not mean particular. People need to stop f*****g saying it like it is.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she's that controlling, what are you doing supporting the wedding? Neither OP or her husband should be in the weddings probably not even go. Have a heart to heart with BIL and help him see controlling behaviour is not ok and the abuse will get worse. Stop hemming and hawing about bridal party and look out for your family.

Alexandra
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's odd that the bride is replacing you and groom's sister by two of her friends. So it has nothing to do with numbers, but rather with whom she really wants as her bridesmaids. That's her prerogative of course, being the bride, but dragging OCD out as an excuse is deceitful. Has she been properly diagnosed by an expert? If not, chances are she's highly manipulative and this does not augur well for this marriage. I'm very skeptical about her OCD because mental illness is trotted out every which way now by many. No, you're not depressed if your weekend has not gone according to plan and you feel low. This is coming from someone who knows and has experienced mental illness and has been able to find her way to being a functioning person, but never a happy one.

Isa's left eye
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can we PLEASE stop using OCD as an adjective? It's a serious mental disorder that can be debilitating. It isn't just being picky.

Ken Beattie
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how many of the comments from reddit are made by people not reading the whole post? Some of the people claiming she's the AH seem to be commenting on stuff that just isn't in her post. Like claiming she wants to be a bridesmaid and have stuff to do when it sounds like it's the opposite.

Maisey Myles
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d Say, “sorry I can’t be at the wedding but I will be there for the divorce”

Justme
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It used to be common to ask an honored guest to perform a role in the wedding that is other than bridesmaid or groomsman. Guestbook, programs, etc.

Papa
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bride-to-be sounds like a handful, but so does OP. "If I can't be a bridesmaid I refuse to help with the wedding!"

Trillian
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don't really do this bridesmaid-thing here, can someone explain this to me? If she wears the same clothes (I understand the bridesmaids usually wear the same dresses) and does the same jobs, how would she NOT be a bridesmaid? What is even the point of these bridesmaids?

FluffyDreg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Biggest thing is photos, but theres also events the bridesmaids are expected to thow/participate. They are the ones standing upfront in the ceremony by the bride a groom. Long story short, all the responsibilities but none of the credit.

Load More Replies...
Marykay Klim
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the sexes of the people involved were reversed, the woman would be warned about this being an abusive man. It sounds the same way in this situation If she is making so many decisions for him, telling him what he can and cannot do, that's. manipulation and its abusive.

Max Fox
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll add my voice to the people saying just because the bride wants things Just So, doesn't mean that she's OCD. The bride sounds like a nightmare, though. I actually feel that the bride is trying to isolate the groom. The only real reason that I see the bride doing this is is to keep his sister away from him during the wedding, and the mother has already been sidelined. I also don't get the idiots that are saying that the OP is the a$$hole. The Bride first told her that she would be a bridesmaid and then told her that she wouldn't., but that she would do all the grunt work so the bridesmaids could actually enjoy the wedding. The Bride is also a huge AH, because she made it seem that SHE was the one who was suffering and needed to be comforted when she cut the OP out of the wedding party. How anybody cannot see what is going on is beyond me.

mindblank
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F***k the bride! OCD, eat c**p! She just wants a way to kick y’all out of the wedding! She is abusive and controlling, and you do not want her in your life!

David L
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd declined all responsibilities, step back and be ready to support your brother in law when the s**t hits the fan

Scott Rackley
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't worry, you can be a bridesmaid at BIL's next wedding. Maybe.

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