These YTA comments confuse me. They talk about how marriage is a compromise, but if the bride did give up her dream dress in favour of a blush one, it would just be the ML and husband getting their way. I mean, where's the compromise on their part?

I can only imagine these YTA people are unhinged patriarchs

Geez, I am a big fan of "as long as you shower and wash your clothes, wear what you want". I wore black to my wedding, my husband wore whatever he wanted and we and everyone there was happy for us.

The only mistake was marrying into that family.

I love how all these crazy YtA comments talk about "compromise", but at the same time are totally ok with MIL dictating what OP wears. I have a strong feeling that these commenters need to look up the word "compromise". Apparently it doesn't mean what they think it means. It certainly does NOT mean "I, as the woman, let the groom's family walk over me like a doormat". What if OP had said that she doesn't like blush dresses? Would MIL have steamrolled over that to get her will? And what kind of "tradition" is "we'll forever stick to the dress colour of the relative that didn't die right after the wedding" ?! Big fat YIKES. What else are these people superstitious about?

Don't get the YTA. Everybody should wear whatever they like and is in general fitting the occasion. Groom wears something he feels great in, bride wears something she feels great in. Either one does not discuss the others choice, thus compromise! But we don't know the cultural context here, in some countries brides are just not allowed an own opinion and when still making own choices, they get in real trouble.

The now husband is the worst of them all.

Curious as to if the tradition, the bride was of that family or if previous blushing brides were also marrying into it. And if those who had the bad luck were of that family or marrying into it. She may have not really broken any tradition at all.

This is stupid. It's the groom's family tradition, not the bride's, so she doesn't have to adhere to it if she doesn't want to. I get the feeling that the bride is meant to follow her in-laws ways now she has married rather than live her own life. She should proceed with caution.

I guess I'm siding with the "he should have worn it if it was that big a deal" crowd. It seems like a fine way to honor a tradition that's important to him, to me.

On a positive note, you've been married such a short time that you can get an annulment pretty quickly and easily. I wouldn't care what my MIL thought of me, but my own husband saying he was disappointed? Oh, hell no. You do not stay married when your brand new husband says he was disappointed seeing his bride come down the aisle. I would have turned around right there and then.

I wonder if they're still married

MIL is a nut!

"Traditions are peer pressure from the dead"

Brides traditions take precedence at weddings MIL is out of line

Big oof. Going through with that wedding seems unwise. You marry the family not just the spouse, though it definitely seems in this case the spouse is pretty spineless and a doormat for his mother.

Marriage is not about compromise, marriage should be about love. That family is already acting like you are to be their loyal devoted servant. Run, run far, run fast, get away from all of them.

What about her family traditions they take precedence on her choices for her wedding

How much of a tradition could it have if the marriages lasted? Having a specifuc wedding dress wasn't common until after WWII. So good for them, they bucked the white dress trend, but that's the MIL, her mother and at a stretch her great grandmother. They are simply claiming tradition just to get visual confirmation they have some control over the bride. Groom being disappointed seeing his bride walk down the aisle is going to be guilting her about other normal things before long.

Honestly to me it depends on the tradition

Who paid for the wedding? Money talks.

I'm a ESH. Both had ideas on what they individually decided, neither agreed before so Surprise everyone was unhappy. I am not saying who should have compromised, I am saying the conversation should have happened earlier.

This is bad communication on both sides. Noone deserves a free pass for having the 'right' gender here. The bride MUST have suspected her choice would have been an issue, or else she would not have kept it a secret. She has instead demonstrated she will take the initiative, and go forward with things she knows upset her new family. Avoiding a conversation, by keeping a secret, deprives communication from working.

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if this was the other way around, say: the bride asks the groom to please not wear a red tie because its a tradition in her family and he does it anyways, everyone would be screaming that he is TA. He should have listened to his bride! but somehow, brides are aloud to do what they want and no one is allowed to say anything. Bridezilla times! I dont understand it. I do think a wedding is all about compromise. Not about the bride. But yeah, they want to sell us those overpriced white wedding dresses and we keep on playing along, even if everyone would love to see you in another color that has some meaning for them.