In an ideal world, planning a wedding would be a thrill. An absolute blast. Something people would spend $40K on and walk away with no regret, just beautiful memories. But the reality is much more mundane. Stuff like creating the guest list, choosing a venue or trying to find the perfect wedding dress can make anyone stressed. And although disagreements are normal when dealing with something this big, sometimes they are really irrational.

One Reddit user u/AITA__return2021 shared her story on r/AITA about how her fiancé demanded she returns a $400 wedding dress that she bought with her own money. After the woman refused, he said that “only smart brides save money instead of blowing it all on… a dress.”

As you can guess, that did not go down well with the bride-to-be, who just wanted to look her best on this special occasion. Scroll down to read the whole story below and be sure to share your thoughts on whether you think the author was right or wrong.

A woman shared how her fiancé demanded that she would return a $400 wedding dress because she bought it without consulting him

Image credits: Tom Pumford (not the actual photo)

Wife-to-be is asking if she did the wrong thing, even if the boyfriend called her irresponsible and childish

The redditor’s post received quite a bit of attention, collecting almost 15K upvotes in just four days. Not to mention the 3.7K comments from the AITA community who decided that it’s the fiancé who’s being unreasonable.

When the bride-to-be finally found the perfect wedding dress, the first question from her fiancé was: how much did it cost? And $400, as the user said, is not considered a great deal where she lives. However, it sparked an argument between them. According to the author, her fiancé is often overdramatic when it comes to financials.

Well, conversations around money are not the most pleasant ones. Talking about finances is often draining and might be an emotional trigger that leads to conflicts. One explanation is that people look at money differently and it’s often because of how we were raised. If you spent it freely, you might have pleasant feelings towards it. But if you’re used to a household with a strict budget, you might see it as exhausting.

Stress in America did a study in 2014 to measure attitudes and perceptions of stress among the general public. The survey was conducted online and had 3,068 recipients who reside in the U.S. The results show that stress about finances is spread nationwide. Regardless of the economic climate, money has consistently topped the list of stressors since their first survey in 2007.

Nearly three-quarters of adults report feeling stressed about financials at least some of the time and nearly one-quarter say that they experience extreme worry about it. And it does not seem to get better since the majority of the recipients said that the level of stress about money has remained the same or increased in the past year.

Also, almost a third of spouses and partners say that money is a major source of tension in their relationship. If spouses argue about money quite often and the disagreements remain unresolved, it could get problematic. The researchers said that because of the pressure people feel, “41 percent of adults who are married or living with a partner say that they lost patience or yelled at their spouse or partner due to stress in the past month.“

However, it is possible to discuss financials without any drama or conflict. Patrice Washington, personal finance expert, and author of Redefine Wealth for Yourself: How to Stop Chasing Money and Finally Live Your Life’s Purpose shared three rules on how to talk about it with your partner.

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First, understand financial blueprints. By this, Washington means figuring out your and your partner’s background and feelings towards money. It’s all about listening and reflecting which could lead to a quicker conflict resolution in the future.

Second, try to figure out common ground. Now that you know each other’s financial blueprints, you should move the conversation further and ask: “What is our way?” This is the part where you negotiate because the answer should be a win-win for both of you.

Lastly, quit nagging and start leading. Both people in the relationship need to be respectful and understanding of each other. Complaints fill the environment with resistance and resentment and such feelings do not belong in a healthy relationship. Remember that finding the right way for both of you might take weeks, months, and sometimes years. But it does not mean you should not at least try.

Redditors were unanimous and saw boyfriend’s behavior as controlling

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