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Man’s Affair Wrecks Family, Is Shocked New Wife Won’t Be Invited To Daughter’s Wedding
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Man’s Affair Wrecks Family, Is Shocked New Wife Won’t Be Invited To Daughter’s Wedding

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Organizing a wedding is overwhelming enough as it is, and the happy couple certainly doesn’t need any additional stress. However, some family drama is almost inevitable if there are folks whom you don’t want watching you walk down the aisle.

An anonymous bride-to-be took to the AITA forum to ask for advice about her upcoming wedding. She shared that she refuses to invite her stepmom because of the way that she’d previously broken up their entire family after starting an emotional affair that turned into a physical one. Read on for the full story and the internet’s reactions.

When couples envision their wedding day, they probably imagine themselves surrounded only by their loved ones

Image credits:  Alexander Mass (not the actual photo)

A bride-to-be asked the internet for some advice after explaining why she categorically refuses to invite her stepmom to her Big Day

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Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

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Image source: [deleted]

Nobody should feel like they’re forced to invite guests who they utterly loathe to their wedding

 

Image credits: Leeloo The First (not the actual photo)

At the end of the day, no matter how you spin things, it’s the happy couple that’s responsible for the guest list. If you’re paying for the entire wedding out of your pocket, it’s only fair that you get to decide who comes to cheer you on.

If it’s a small wedding with a very limited budget, it makes sense that you invite only the people closest and dearest to you. If you’re more flexible with the size of the celebration and finances, you can consider inviting your third cousin’s family, your colleagues, and your lukewarm acquaintances.

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Meanwhile, if some of your relatives are financing the wedding (whether in full or just in part), they do have at least some say in who gets invited. The guest list then becomes a discussion and you might need to have some flexibility.

Whatever the case might be, though, if there’s someone whose presence would actively ruin the joyous mood of your Big Day, it’s best not to invite them. This can pose a bit of a conundrum if they’re a relative’s partner.

If someone doesn’t have your best interests at heart and refuses to communicate, you don’t owe it to them to extend an olive branch

Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual photo)

That being said, you would assume that your relatives would have your interests at heart and would be mature enough not to force some haphazard reconciliation with the problematic individual. If someone doesn’t care about you, doesn’t communicate with you, and doesn’t give a damn about you being seriously ill—they don’t deserve a wedding invite. As simple as that.

They haven’t proven that they care about you. Nor have they even attempted to bridge the gap by personally reaching out.

Unfortunately, we were unable to reach out to the author of the viral story for an update because she deleted her account. Hopefully, she’ll be able to stand her ground and focus on what makes her happy, instead of compromising all of her interests just to keep the peace.

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It’s not just physical affairs that can damage a relationship. Emotional cheating is corrosive, too

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Emotional affairs can be just as devastating as—if not more than—physical affairs. The former refers to situations where a person is emotionally intimate with another individual without this leading to sex. Not all emotional cheating leads to physical intimacy, but this is not an excuse to engage in it.

TechReport states that for 88% of women, emotional cheating is worse than a physical affair. Furthermore, men are more offended than women when their significant others engage in emotional affairs.

Meanwhile, 91% of women admitted that they’ve had an emotional affair, compared to 77% of men. Most emotional cheating (60% of cases) starts in the workplace, where there’s regular contact between people who spend a large chunk of the day around each other.

What would you do if you were in the story author’s shoes? Would you give in and invite someone you would hate to see at your wedding? Or would you stand your ground and stick to your vision of the Big Day? Tell us how you’d handle the situation and what advice you’d give the bride-to-be in the comments.

The internet was overwhelmingly on the author’s side. Here’s what they told the woman

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Ieva Pečiulytė

Ieva Pečiulytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

Read less »

Ieva Pečiulytė

Ieva Pečiulytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

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sharkeydsc avatar
Aline
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't invite either, clearly family is still too upset. Dad is the bad guy. Yeah, shame on her for sleeping with a married man, but he's the one who betrayed his wife and family. If you're still at the point where you can't handle his aide, why would you invite him?

byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are so upset about the affair, why invite Dad? Seems inconsistent. Just don't invite either of them clearly they don't really care about marriage vows.

otelib avatar
marcelo D.
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some cultures are very hard on the way that children have to "respect" and "love" their parents no matter what, so that brings weird feelings and obligations. not that hard to understand

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james_croft avatar
Nimitz
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, that's a very positive attitude from the dad. No push back on not inviting the step-mom, just a polite and healthy request to talk about any remaining feelings and the hope to connect in the future. That's about as positive as it gets. Marriages are complicated and most of them end before death. Sounds like it's up to the kids to decide how to move forward.

joebloe avatar
Joe Bloe
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it looks like the kids decided it was her fault their parents divorced, and hate her ever since, without giving her a chance, even when OP had a good relationship with her before... OP should listen to her dad and talk with him. So many people are ready to live a life of hate for no reason, without even trying...

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sharkeydsc avatar
Aline
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't invite either, clearly family is still too upset. Dad is the bad guy. Yeah, shame on her for sleeping with a married man, but he's the one who betrayed his wife and family. If you're still at the point where you can't handle his aide, why would you invite him?

byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are so upset about the affair, why invite Dad? Seems inconsistent. Just don't invite either of them clearly they don't really care about marriage vows.

otelib avatar
marcelo D.
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some cultures are very hard on the way that children have to "respect" and "love" their parents no matter what, so that brings weird feelings and obligations. not that hard to understand

Load More Replies...
james_croft avatar
Nimitz
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, that's a very positive attitude from the dad. No push back on not inviting the step-mom, just a polite and healthy request to talk about any remaining feelings and the hope to connect in the future. That's about as positive as it gets. Marriages are complicated and most of them end before death. Sounds like it's up to the kids to decide how to move forward.

joebloe avatar
Joe Bloe
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it looks like the kids decided it was her fault their parents divorced, and hate her ever since, without giving her a chance, even when OP had a good relationship with her before... OP should listen to her dad and talk with him. So many people are ready to live a life of hate for no reason, without even trying...

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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