Love ‘em or hate ‘em, weddings often come with a whole slew of intrigue, drama, and joy, so it’s no surprise that many a story features one at some point. And, as it so often turns out, real life manages to be stranger than fiction.

A bridesmaid and her family discovered that the bride had pocketed the money everyone had sent her for her rather expensive bachelorette party. So she decided to dig a little deeper and found a whole web of lies and double-dealing. Later, she detailed the entire story of investigating, gathering evidence, and confronting the bride. We got in touch with dorkvader23  to learn more.

Weddings often cost quite a bit of money if you are covering all your bases

Image credits:  Igal Ness / unsplash (not the actual photo)

But one bridesmaid discovered that the bride was pocketing money they had given for the bachelorette party

Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Elina Sazonova / pexels (not the actual photo)

Later, OP shared a few juicy updates

Image credits: Kelli McClintock / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: tracy truhan / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: dorkvader23

OP shared a few more details

Bored Panda got in touch with dorkvader23 and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. Since posting the story and its many updates, there have even been a few more events. “Most of the other bridesmaids are on board with going on the trip to have our own mini-vacations instead of participating in the bachelorette party. A few of us (myself included) are considering bringing our husbands/significant others down as well! We were forced to book this ridiculous beachfront mansion so we may as well enjoy it! The bottom line: we won’t be celebrating the bride on this trip or contributing to any future part of her wedding. Additionally, we have all backed out of hosting/paying for the bridal shower. The mother of the bride is livid about all this – I’m going to let some time pass to get a good update, and I will add more to the post after my trip.”

“I think the bride felt she could get away with it because of the toxic maximalist culture that surrounds western weddings today. I really feel that she believed we would all be happy to support her Ice Swan purchase solely because “it’s her special day.” As someone who has been in probably 8 weddings by now – there is nothing I dread more than being asked to be a bridesmaid. I don’t even blame the brides (most of the time!) I blame society. We tell brides that in order to have an acceptable wedding, they need 8-10 girls to essentially take on a part-time job that requires hours and hours of our time and thousands of dollars. There’s usually the engagement party, the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding day, and the post-wedding brunch. Some even go as far as requiring certain themes/outfits/dress codes for each event, plus a million other expenses that no one but the bride actually cares about. It’s just. Too. Much. And it all falls on the bridesmaids. (Btw where are the groomsmen during all this ?!),” she shared with Bored Panda.

“I want to add that I am not jaded/bitter/or hate weddings. I just hate THESE kinds of weddings. I’ve been to tons of great weddings hosted by great people. I also got married this year and made my focus on ensuring guests had an awesome time and didn’t have to break the bank in order to do so. I think people are pressured to outdo each other on social media, and this applies to weddings. I believe that’s why so many people are willing to have these massive, ridiculous weddings that they can’t afford. SIL’s wedding already costs more than my house, for example.”

Getting married often ends up costing a pretty penny

Image credits: Luis Tosta / unsplash (not the actual photo)

If one was going to have a wedding with all the fixins’ including the bachelor and/or bachelorette parties, a big ceremony, decorations, a reception party, and so on, it only makes sense that the price would end up being quite high. The Knot believes that the average wedding, in the United States, costs somewhere between $16,000 and $46,000, which is a pretty penny for what amounts to a party or two over a couple of days.

Because some couples are insistent on a sizable wedding, there is even an entire wedding loan business out there for people who are truly desperate. It works like any other loan, assessing your creditworthiness, income, and debt history. However, like in so many cases, it’s often better to borrow from the family who are likely to be more understanding and less likely to repossess your possessions as payment.

It’s normal to get family to help pay for your wedding

This is why, perhaps, the parents who were paying for a lot of it didn’t even mind, at first. After all, everyone knows weddings are expensive, but who would hold money back from what might be the most important day of your children’s lives? As with so many things in life, the real issue was the fact that she lied to multiple people, including the folks bankrolling the entire event, like an ice-sculpture-obsessed ‎Elizabeth Holmes.

Unfortunately, the result of one massive wedding after another, is that many people have started to think it’s normal and, at best, absolutely normal and necessary. As OP noted, $650 a head for the Airbnb is excess, but she still paid it as part of the bridal party. If you take a step back, how many events would you be willing to fork over that much money for?

In general, this bride has a lot of ideas with little means to execute them

Image credits:  Álvaro CvG / unsplash (not the actual photo)

However, having a big, expensive wedding is one thing, misleading people to just pocket their money is significantly worse. Even when caught, the bride still tried to weasel her way out of returning the money, something which most commenters argued should have been the breaking point where OP reveals that the jig is up.

In a previous post, which OP alludes to in the comments (some of which can be found below) it becomes clear that this particular bride has an appetite that excessively exceeds her means. Even without “scamming” them, the bride was asking for quite a bit from the bridesmaids, for the cost of dresses, makeup, hair, gifts and God knows what else. The fact that she had the gall to ask for more, and then pocket it is too much to stomach.

It’s worth noting that many of these obsessions appear to be the brides alone, from the bachelorette to the decorations, as the groom had much more down-to-ideas planned, which can also be found below, in the comments section. On that note, be sure to share your own thoughts and ideas below and look through OP’s discussion with some of the readers for more context.

Readers gave OP their own suggestions

Others shared their reactions and thoughts

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