I don’t think “upstaging” the bride was the intent. I think it was just to pìss her off, and sis never dreamed she’d be directly called on it. . . . “ My parents are mad, saying I should ve just ignored her because "it's only a dress,"” . Well, -there’s- your problem.

That older sister is a rank amateur if her aim was to steal the limelight and one up anyone else. Bright red sleeveless with a slit to the thigh would have been more "that's just her but she looks good" and less "I'm a nasty big sister and I look better in white, look at me".

I'm getting "golden child" vibes from this. OP'S sister is a major nuisance, and the parents are completely to blame. Good on OP for enforcing her boundaries with her obnoxious sister. Next comes the NC move, with parents following at a close second. Whatever happens, I hope OP doesn't allow her baby biche at her baby shower. The parents can attend on the condition that they do not bring the other one, have her on speakerphone, or even bring up anything concerning her sister. Break any of those rules, and it's buh-bye permanently.

Not wearing white isn't difficult. It isn't an imposition (unless maybe you are in a country where the national dress is white, maybe) - being asked to dye your hair pink and wear taupe to fit in with the brides vision is. If you feel you cannot possibly *not* wear white to someone else's wedding when asked then you are a monumental asßhole and should not attend.

I find the poll weird. No, I don't agree with the *tradition* that only the bride should wear white but it's never crossed my mind when attending a wedding to wear a white dress. While I think society adheres a little too rabidly to that particular tradition, I also very much think OP's sister was an åsshole (always has been, sounds like she will continue to be)

If she had said: I hit her repeatedly with a baseball bat the day after. I would still say NTA and advise her to do the same to anyone supporting her sister

"She's just like that" is not a valid excuse to tolerate someone who repeatedly disrespects you or your boundaries. Cut them out of your life. They are not worth your time or energy.

The family members telling the op to let it slide are the reason that the sister gets away with being an asshat. Op should got NC and have a great life without that toxic pos in her life. You can't choose your family...

Bwahaha! This has 'main character syndrome' on the part of the sis written all over it with the parents as enablers. This was not about a dress: this is about a woman who decides not to do as she is asked and then has to deal with the consequences. If I was the bride I would opt for LC. As for the parents, was this sis always their favourite?

She should have yelled at her parents for creating and enabling this monster.

Let's call it like it is. The sister is a narcissist and the parents enablers.

With family like hers, who needs enemies?!

If the bride specifically asked the guests not to wear white (or any other reasonable request actually) and you don't want to comply, do not attend the wedding, simple as that. Sister is a huge arsehole and so are the parents!

NC with sis, and never look back.

Clearly, your family does not respect you or your opinions. However, you are still feeding her ego everytime you question what you did. She did this to herself, you warned her and she did it anyway. Now let HER live with the consequences. IGNORE HER, IGNORE the comments made by your family. Anytime it's brought up change the subject or leave. Let your family know the subject is closed, you will no longer discuss it or listen to their unsolicited opinions regarding this. AND STICK TO IT.

The reason why some people are "Just like that" is because the cowards in their lives allow them to be.

I make a deal with brides. If anyone shows up in white, I spill a glass of red on them immediately.

Ive got a sister like this, and rhe exact reason she is is because for *decades* it's always been "take no notice, you know what she's like" I was the only one who ever called her out on it, and i was always told to let it slide. She's a heroin addict who hasn't had a job since she was 17, and that was for 3 days and she's in her 40s now. Nothing is her fault, and never will be. They *still* make this excuse for her. She's garbage, and going NC with her has made these last 5 years the most peaceful I've ever had

She should have let her sister in and make a fool of herself in front of everyone. Everyone knows only the bride ( and a few flower girls) wear white to a wedding.

Sister should be excised like the malignant tumor she so obviously is. Parents can choose between keeping this argument and any future grandchildren. Or just excise them too and move on.

When did weddings turned into such a perverted stuff? Ego, money, instagram, wedding planners, colour do's and dont's, etc etc etc? A few decades ago were just a nice party to celebrate an "i do".