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“To Test Me In The Worst Way Possible”: Bride Kicks Sister Out Of Her Wedding Over Her Dress
Interview With Author
Weddings usually have one classic rule: the bride wears white. According to Brides magazine, 83% of brides chose to wear white in 2018. The percentage might be lower in 2024, but it’s still the most popular color.
This bride explicitly asked all the guests to her wedding not to wear white; that color was reserved for the bride only. Still, her own troublemaker sister didn’t adhere to that one rule and came wearing a white dress. Naturally, drama ensued, resulting in family members taking sides. So, the bride went to look for unbiased opinions online: was she a jerk for kicking out her sister?
Bored Panda got in touch with the bride, u/AshleighBarkley, and she gave us some updates about the story and her life. Read our short chat with her below!
RELATED:
A woman blatantly ignored her sister’s request not to wear white to her wedding
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
So, the bride unceremoniously kicked her out of the festivities
Image credits: maxbelchenko (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AshleighBarkley
The OP isn’t thinking about her sister at the moment; she’ll soon have a new baby to worry about
Today, almost two months after she first posted the story on Reddit, u/Ashleigh Barkley has some good news. She told Bored Panda that she’s expecting a baby! As for her sister, the netizen says she hasn’t talked to her much. “I don’t really need her there to ruin this too,” she admitted.
The Redditor also told us that the sister wasn’t the only person who hurt her that evening. Her parents’ reaction stung as well. When her parents told her “It’s just a dress,” u/AshleighBarkley says she felt completely disregarded. “I was stunned that my mother of all people didn’t even support my perspective.”
Ultimately, the Redditor is happy she posted this story, as the opinions from strangers gave her some perspective. “If I learned anything from the comments, it’s that my sister is a little entitled and that she isn’t in the right mindset,” she told us.
“Setting boundaries with her isn’t something I’ve had to do yet because she hasn’t tried to contact me yet ever since the wedding. But, if we speak again, I’ll definitely have a heart-to-heart with her,” the Redditor declares.
Wearing white when the invitation asks you not to is without a doubt rude
Upstaging a bride at her own wedding is never a good idea. Wedding industry professionals say that this is the most common number one rule. “Not wearing white is the most obvious guideline that falls under this umbrella, as white attire competes with the bride’s gown (if she’s wearing white, and if she’s wearing a gown),” bridal style expert Shelley Brown told Coveteur.
“And avoid light pastel colors that can look white in flash photography unless otherwise requested,” she added. In fact, many wedding planners recommend guests leave all shades of white to the bride even if there was no official rule in the invitation.
Event planner Megan Seaton told Martha Stewart that there’s only one time there’s an exception to this rule. “It is OK to wear white if, and only if, the couple has specifically requested that white attire be worn. In this case, the attire will be specifically mentioned in the invitation. If it’s not on there, don’t risk it.”
Okay, but what if a guest already came wearing white, like the sister in this story? What is the bride to do then? Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts says there are two ways to deal with such a fashion faux pas.
The first one is to discreetly ask one of the members of the bridal party to offer the guest a jacket, shawl, or something else to cover up. The goal is to add some color to their outfit so that they’re not as noticeable.
The second solution is to simply let it go. “Don’t let a minor wardrobe mishap overshadow your day,” Grotts suggests. She recommends focusing on the big day and not letting someone else ruin it with their attention-seeking shenanigans.
Image credits: Terje Sollie (not the actual photo)
Some people may be opting for something new, but many still want to adhere to old wedding traditions
It’s one thing to accidentally wear white to a wedding. When the dress code emphasizes that only the bride will wear white and you come dressed in a white, floor-length gown — that’s intentional maliciousness. The sister tried (poorly) to defend the decision to don a white dress, saying that nobody has traditional weddings anymore.
While it’s true that many couples nowadays deviate from wedding traditions, many Americans still perform many of the classic wedding traditions. A 2021 YouGov poll surveyed already-married people about their opinions on which wedding traditions should stay and which need to go.
Surprisingly, 50% of the respondents said they think brides should wear white to their wedding, and only 24% were against it. People also would like to keep traditions such as the first dance, thank-you notes to the guests, the exchange of rings, and the bride tossing her bouquet.
However, many experts say that more and more millennials are choosing elopement over lavish, traditional weddings. The founder of New York-based elopement service Eloping Is Fun Jenny MacFarlane says that her business almost doubles every year.
“My company does maybe 60, 70 [weddings] a year, so it’s significant,” she told Glamour in 2017. “From what I know about millennials, things are tough financially. That’s one of the big reasons, in general. People just want to start their life. They don’t feel like they have to follow any sort of traditional norms anymore.”
Image credits: Jeremy Wong (not the actual photo)
“You set a clear boundary for your wedding”; people in the comments believed the bride had every right to throw her sister out
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What do you think ?
Sand Ers 1 month ago (edited)
I don’t think “upstaging” the bride was the intent. I think it was just to pìss her off, and sis never dreamed she’d be directly called on it. . . . “ My parents are mad, saying I should ve just ignored her because "it's only a dress,"” . Well, -there’s- your problem.
Mark Childers 1 month ago
Any time someone deliberately goes against a simple request that costs nothing, they are doing it to make a point, and that point is aways negative. People who care about you would respect a simple request like that. And most people know not to wear white at weddings.
Libstak 1 month ago
That older sister is a rank amateur if her aim was to steal the limelight and one up anyone else. Bright red sleeveless with a slit to the thigh would have been more "that's just her but she looks good" and less "I'm a nasty big sister and I look better in white, look at me".
Sand Ers 1 month ago (edited)
I don’t think “upstaging” the bride was the intent. I think it was just to pìss her off, and sis never dreamed she’d be directly called on it. . . . “ My parents are mad, saying I should ve just ignored her because "it's only a dress,"” . Well, -there’s- your problem.
Mark Childers 1 month ago
Any time someone deliberately goes against a simple request that costs nothing, they are doing it to make a point, and that point is aways negative. People who care about you would respect a simple request like that. And most people know not to wear white at weddings.
Libstak 1 month ago
That older sister is a rank amateur if her aim was to steal the limelight and one up anyone else. Bright red sleeveless with a slit to the thigh would have been more "that's just her but she looks good" and less "I'm a nasty big sister and I look better in white, look at me".
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