It means a lot to the happy couple if their loved ones can make it to their Big Day—their wedding. Understandably, sometimes life gets in the way. Not every guest can make it. However, some reasons for not showing up are a tad… questionable, to say the least. They can lead to a lot of hurt feelings down the line.

One redditor turned to the AITA online community for their take on a very sensitive situation in her family. The OP, who is a mother to two boys, explained that she was planning on skipping out on her sister’s wedding because the event would be child-free. Many readers were absolutely shocked by this decision. Scroll down for the full story and to see what the internet had to say about everything.

Some couples choose to throw child-free weddings, where only adults can attend

Image credits: Shardayyy Photography (not the actual photo)

One woman refused to go to her sister’s Big Day simply because her two children weren’t invited

Image credits: Dmitry Zvolskiy (not the actual photo)

Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Throwaway_Reddeddit

The author felt that her family criticized her for no good reason

Image credits:  Felipe Cespedes (not the actual photo)

There are always two sides to every story. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that all choices are created equal. The fact of the matter is that some situations require more diplomacy and tact than others.

Sometimes, in order to maintain the relationships we care about in the long term, it makes sense to compromise on tough issues in the present, even if our first instinct is to defend our boundaries at all costs.

The author of the viral Reddit post shared that the reason why she decided not to attend her own sister’s wedding was because it was child-free. That meant that the OP would have to have left her kids behind at home, with a babysitter. The redditor shared how much family means to her in her post. Somewhat ironically, this only seemed to extend to her children, but not to her sister.

Many AITA community members were utterly appalled by how the OP handled the entire situation. As one reader pointed out, kids do not have to be a part of every single thing and event that happens.

Hiring a babysitter for just one night could have helped avoid the huge fight

Image credits: Lina Kivaka (not the actual photo)

Other redditors noted that only going to events where your kids are invited might leave you with few relationships further down the line. After all, no matter how wonderful (and challenging!) raising kids might be, parents are far more than just that—parents. They’re adults with lots of different goals and ambitions. And there are many relationships that are worth nurturing in life.

The obvious solution would have been to hire a babysitter so that the OP could attend her sister’s wedding. It’s not a random family dinner that she was missing out on, this decision carried a lot of significance. It’s something that the author’s sister—along with her entire family—would remember for a long time.

Let’s be clear here, naturally, the OP is free to choose what to do. However, all choices have consequences. The author is free to prioritize her kids over her sister. At the same time, her sister is perfectly within her rights to be upset that her own sibling couldn’t spend a single night away from home, to show that she cares about her.

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Having children at formal functions completely changes the atmosphere

Image credits: Taha Samet Arslan (not the actual photo)

Kerri Sackville, a columnist for The Sydney Morning Herald, hit the nail on the head when she wrote that the presence of kids at a wedding completely changes the energy of any event. There are pros and cons that come with the decision to include children at weddings.

“It’s true, kids can change the energy in delightful ways. […] But kids can also change the energy of a function in ways that are loud and chaotic,” she pointed out that it can be quite a hassle to keep everyone in line if things get out of hand.

It’s only natural for kids to get tired, and bored, and look for ways to entertain themselves during weddings. While some marrying couples embrace this low-key chaos, others might want a different kind of function. It’s only fair to follow along with the happy couple’s wishes, especially if they’re extremely transparent about what the event is going to look like.

Meanwhile, child-free weddings can actually be a small blessing in disguise. They offer parents the opportunity to take part in an ‘adult’ event without constantly having to worry about their munchkins. It’s a date night in disguise. And it might be exactly what some parents need, in order to unwind and remind themselves that there’s more to life than just work, chores, childcare, and homework.

Most readers couldn’t understand the woman’s perspective. Here’s what they had to say about her decision

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Some internet users, however, thought the author was completely within her rights to skip out on the event

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