Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin’s Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her
No matter what, family always has your back. Except when they don’t.
Just a few days ago, a now-deleted Reddit user submitted a story about her wedding to the ‘True Off My Chest’ community, which invites people to speak their minds when no one else listens to them.
In it, the woman explained that her cousin had a thing with her new husband, and, feeling bitter, decided to wear a red dress to their wedding to inform everyone about it.
However, the bride came up with an idea of how to protect her big day from becoming a scandal.
This woman learned that her cousin had a fling with the man she was marrying and was planning to wear a red dress to their wedding to let everyone know about it
Image credits: Joeyy Lee (not the actual photo)
So she devised a plan to outsmart her
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Credits: anon
It’s not entirely clear how widespread the whole red dress equals infidelity thing is. But many industry experts dismiss it.
For example, Lisa Burton, aka The Bridal Consultant, who has two decades worth of experience in planning weddings abroad and currently focuses on throwing ceremonies in Greece and Italy, didn’t even know it existed.
“I’ve been planning weddings for just over 20 years and I can honestly say that I’ve never heard anything negative about wearing red to a wedding,” she told Bored Panda. “In fact, at Chinese weddings, red represents joy and celebration and is a very popular choice with Chinese brides.”
“The only color I’m aware of that has any type of ‘taboo’ to it would be all white, which traditionally is reserved for the bride.”
“I think I might even have worn red myself at one time. Red is widely worn by guests of all ages so I dare say there is very little truth to this unless the groom is a very busy man,” Burton explained.
Meredith Stoeklein, the founder of bridal label LEIN, also advocates for wearing red to a wedding because it is often associated with love and passion, and has an extensive palette. According to her, red attire for a guest should ideally have a muted shade and elegant undertones such as burgundy, berry, or rust. If the look is subtle and tasteful, a red ensemble is wedding-appropriate.
You could say that the whole mess could’ve been avoided had the bride just uninvited her cousin, but that’s a really complicated process. “I had a bride that once uninvited her chief bridesmaid due to arguments about the style of bridesmaid dress,” Lisa Burton recalled. “The situation escalated to a few nasty conversations over text which eventually led to the bridesmaid being ‘fired’ and the invitation being revoked completely, and more sadly, the end of a long, close friendship. I dare say there was more to it than this, because losing a friendship over a style of dress seems incredibly sad.”
“Most situations with difficult guests tend to be in the close bridal party, or at least these are the ones I hear about,” Burton said. “And mainly due to falling out, so the way the guest is disinvited is often quite abrupt and not in the nicest way. However, is there a way to nicely uninvite a guest? I don’t think so, considering it’s often due to unpleasant circumstances.”
Luckily, the author of the story seems to have found the perfect solution that prevented all the family drama that could’ve come in case she demanded the cousin stay away from the ceremony.
Unfortunately, though, sometimes you just feel you have no choice.
If you feel it’s impossible to avoid, Burton suggests “to do this verbally over the phone, or even better in person. Emails and texts can be misconstrued and they might portray the wrong intention.”
The wedding planner feels a verbal conversation is more personal and you can better communicate your reasoning, no matter what it is. “It’s also the hardest way, and takes courage, but for the sake of future relations, I’d say it’s worth the effort,” she said.
People had a lot to say after reading what happened
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Share on FacebookHas anyone one heard of this 'red' tradition? If so, can you say which area/culture you have come across it?
I did a quick Google search; apparently it's a Southern US thing? Red is in reference to being "a scarlet woman," or so one article said. Weird.
Load More Replies...LOL!! It makes me want to wear red to every wedding I ever attend now just to stir the pot lol
Load More Replies..."I'm not inviting her because she wants to brag to everyone she slept with the groom. Whoever feels uncomfortable because of it is welcome to skip the wedding, too." There.
I agree. She could have just disinvited her and had a nice day. By doing what she did, no matter how satisfying it was, it sort of gave the other girl exactly what she wanted which was to take attention away from the bride on her wedding day and made it all about her. The bride's memory of the day will never not have that mixed in with it because it was a big part of the day, and included a lot of people and pictures, etc. SO... I mean, I get the girl was a jerk but simply uninvite her and move on with your life.
Load More Replies...I've never heard of the "wearing red means you slept with the groom" thing before. Must be something cultural I guess. The only reason why it's not always advised to wear red is that you risk outshining the bride as it's a very strong color. But still, what a weird family. That aunt should be ashamed. OP didn't "steal" anyone. Humans aren't property and OP and her husband are two consenting adults who are in love and should be allowed to celebrate that. And they definitely shouldn't have to break up because of some fling he had back in the day. Just because he slept with her cousin 8 years ago and then dumped her doesn't give her any claim to him at all. Instead of being angry at OP the aunt should be angry with her own daughter for PLANNING to ruin someone's wedding just because she's jealous.
I actually think it comes from the movie “Gone With The Wind” because Scarlett had a thing for Ashly Wilkes, who was married to Melanie. Scarlett was throwing herself at Ashly and Rhett caught her and made her wear a garish red dress to Melanie’s birthday party. It was quite scandalous
Load More Replies...LOL my wedding gown was scarlet red so guess this tradition applied “true” I slept with the groom 😂
I always thought it was for the bride. White is I'm still vigin. Red = couldnt contain myself.
Load More Replies...I am confused with the "its gross" comments. How can this be gross? it is not like it was happening at the same time...
The only thing that I have ever heard of against wearing red to a western (assuming this is a western wedding) wedding is "too bright will take away attention from the bride". Only others I have heard is in Chinese and Indian weddings because red is a bridal colour. No one else seemed to take issue with wearing red.
I have a feeling that this cousin might be the only person in the world who knows about this "tradition" and most guests, seeing her in a red dress, would think nothing of that. She'd have to carry a banner.
No in Louisiana its a known thing and there's would have been whispers. She definitely would have stood out but im glad the bride cut her out that way... Priceless!!
Load More Replies...I believe she did the best she could here. By asking her mom what would happen if she uninvited the cousin shows that the family is already prone to drama, since she had to guage the extent of the fallout. Secretly switching the color scheme allowed the bride to avoid embarrassment and being made to feel uncomfortable on their wedding day (as anyone should be able to) and still permitted the cousin to do the spiteful thing she wanted to do. The only difference is the cousin's act of be-redding herself didn't produce the outcome she clearly desired. I'd call that 3 for 3. ⚡
Additionally, keeping the change a secret prevented the cousin from discovering her plan had been foiled and concocting one even more dastardly that no one else knew about.
Load More Replies...Wow! Imagine red being the harlot's color in the southern USA. Someone should inform the cousin the Handmaid's Tale is fiction not a guidebook.
It more likely would have been associated with the Scarlet Letter (if actually a thing, which it all but isn't) but still
Load More Replies...The aunt claiming the bride stole her cousin's man is just hilarious. I assume the aunt is the cousin's mother so she probably didn't get the real story. Some guy you randomly hook up with once at a party is in no way your man. The cousin clearly never got over him.
Uhhh my fall wedding's colors were gold and cranberry, all my bridesmaids wore a shade of red... 🤣
I'll bet the cousin would have been sure to tell everyone why she was wearing red if given the chance. I'm another who never heard of that.
I suspect the red "message" was something the cousin saw in a book or movie; sand believes it's a thing. Just like she apparently believes a drunken one night stand means a "happily ever after". Cousin must have exhibited some of her true colors back then. And the groom obviously dodged a bullet. Cousin needs some therapy to get past her imaginary relationship with the groom.
Load More Replies...I have never head of this "Tell" and the cousin and the aunt sound like a piece of work. WHY was this cousin invited to the wedding in the first place?... she is a b***h. Brilliant move on the Bride's part inviting one and all to wear red. Just because someone is family doesn't mean they get to be part of your life if they have such rude motives.
White only became traditional because people wanted to copy Queen Victoria in 1840. We need to go back to more colorful gowns; me I wouldn't look good in all white, darker shades suit me better.
Wow, fruit doesn't fall far from tree, if her mom acts like that! Petty... 🙄
This is not a tradition I am aware of. I do understand bright red to be an attention grabbing color so avoided by many. On the other hand my brother in law just got married to a Mexican woman and she let us know red will be something the ladies in her family will wear. We had a brief conversation about her family customs. Just enough for me to let her know I’m generally down for having a “ respectfully good time.” Meaning simply that I want to respect her traditions and share in the good times.Some ladies in her family wore red. They looked amazing but they still let her shine. The rest wore neutral business attire with comfortable but cute shoes. They also looked lovely. I didn’t see any stop sign red. Honestly I don’t think anyone really would have batted an eye. The bride looked stunning.
Next you'll be telling me that wearing white means that the bride is a virgin. These newfangled traditions have got to stop!
Isn't that what it was supposed to have meant initially? Also, the fact that we have never heard of the wearing red tradition, does not mean it is a new one. It could be an old one that we have simply never heard about.
Load More Replies...All of this is so incredibly straight I don't even know where to begin. EIGHT years ago your cousin has a fling and she and you are both weird about the fact that your husband wasn't a total virgin before meeting you?? People have lives before marriage. Cousin was wrong but OP pls chill. You're not gross. Your husband's sexual history is not something it is reasonable to judge him for at all. And don't judge yourself either?? Like damn purity culture relaly out of control at this point. Straight people y'all okay? Please relax.
It's much more about his d**k being inside a family member before than his d**k being inside just anyone before her. It is kind of weird to think of going to bed with someone who you know for a fact has had relations with family, especially close family. Not gross, not something to judge about, but I see how it could feel odd.
Load More Replies...Your cousin is just jealous that you got a better man than she’ll ever get his stupid jerk. You don’t care about her at all or your aunt for that matter you go girl.
8years ago... and she's still caught up on him??? Ffs cousin needs to get lost. And so does her mother.
If I was the OP: OP [talking to aunt]: "Your daughter tried to create drama at my wedding, and you're blaming ME for taking countermeasures?!"
The “red dress means you slept with a groom” isn’t a thing so I imagine this attention-seeking tart was hoping to go “aren’t you guys wondering why I’m wearing THIS dress?” With her reason followed by a “everyone totally knows this” to get people to assume they themselves hadn’t heard that fact.
So, if wearing red is such a well-known sign that you've slept with the groom - which seriously the majority of us only heard about while reading this - surely all and sundry wearing red must have made it look like the groom really got around. Or. The majority of people at the wedding have never heard of it either and so her cousin wearing red wouldn't have mattered at all. That's a whole heap of oddness.
This was a BRILLIANT solution on the bride's part and that sounds petty, vindictive, and not worth a friendship at any level. I suggest therapy--and I mean that kindly. Holding onto that much resent for 8 years is not healthy and suggests underlining issues.
I don't understand why it "was gross" she had a one night stand with the groom YEARS ago. This is really stupid and petty, in the end there is still drama, but at least it wasn't on the wedding.
52 yr old, live in the south, never heard of this. not sure where this is from
The fact that your cousin (and you, lowkey) seems to think you're 'gross' for... ::checks notes:: your boyfriend not being a virgin when you got together? That's weird OP. Also why are her panties in a twist? EIGHT years ago she and the groom had a one-night stand and he clearly communicated with her and y'all BOTH hung up on this still? Wtf. Are straight people okay???? damn. anyway bride you did the right thing your cousin can boil her head. But stop s**t shaming yourself and your husband also??? Like people do exist before getting married and they have lives and stuff. Damn.
It's much more about his d**k being inside a family member than his d**k being inside just anyone before her. It is kind of weird to think of going to bed with someone who you know for a fact has had relations with family, especially close family. Not gross, not something to judge about, but I see how it could feel odd. Pretty sure the assumption that she's upset about his non-virginity is incorrect lol.
Load More Replies...I think it’s hilarious. The cousin is an idiot. She wanted to wear red to the wedding to let everybody know that she had a one night stand. Hooked up with a guy she just met. Is that something to brag about? Quite frankly, it’s just kind of slutty.
Kudos to the bridge for having a healthy conversation with her groom and moving forward in a creative way to handle family drama.
Well, no one mentioned this when I chose red for my wedding colors and had the bridesmaids and FLOWER GIRLS in red dresses and the groomsmen in red vests (including my husband's own brother lol) and my brother wore a red shirt and my mom even wore a darker reddish burgundy to go with our colors so I think it is safe to say this is not a very widespread or well known thing. Red looks amazing on so many people and it made my white dress and his black tux stand out so nicely. In fact, David's Bridal offers all of their bridesmaid's dresses in the color Apple Red.....well they did 20 years ago when I was planning my wedding, just had our 18th anniversary....but I assume they still offer the color even if the dress styles have changed.
ok, that definitely is fake. An aunt sends an email to a bride to tell her that she is a b.. because [checks notes] hurting her cousin by not letting her be petty on her wedding. There is no way anyone in real life does that.
I’m from New Orleans and have never heard of this. I’m 71 and have to quite a few weddings! But I think your cousin needs therapy. I won’t even ask if she’s single!
Never heard of the red dress thing, now wondering if I've ever worn red to a wedding.......
A one night stand does not make him someone's "man" as the aunt put it. The cousin seems to have pangs of jealousy or something.
So one microscopic area of the world and this is claimed to be a thing everyone knows about 🙄 Given the area involved they've probably had most of the family too 😂😂😂
It says a lot about your cousin that she would want to brag about being so 'easy', and rejected as well! I would have let her.
The "you are gross because you are going to marry a guy I hooked up with once" gives me " virgin " vibes. I mean, double standards, that someone is gross for not being pure.
I highly doubt that's the case. I'm surprised people think that's the issue, but they are cousins, so obviously it's a matter of smashing the same person as your family member did, nothing to do with virginity.
Load More Replies...So she basically salty that she rejected 8 years and somehow she has claims if op dates or married him. He not object he clearly rejected and she see him as her because she sleep with him and " had" him frist. It actually kind of creepy. She should moved onto some one who actually want be relationship with her but instead she acting like child that didn't get her way to a thing that happened 8 year ago...
Wearing red indicates you’ve slept with the groom? What are they 12?
Never heard about the red dress thing. In China people wear red wedding dresses and white for funerals. Meanwhile your cousin makes me sad. So very sad. Maybe get an out of state friend sent her an anonymous list of therapists in her area. Or help her self esteem yourself. If you want the to stop BTA. Tell her despite everything she looked damn good in her dress.
I'm with the group that had no frkn idea or heard of this 'red dress' meaning. I'm 60 and besides my own I think I've been in about 14. No mention of it anywhere. Most were in the United States but also 6 'overseas' to include Sicily, Rome, London and The Philippines.
Never heard of the red thing and I'm old enough to be retired. OP, well played. Very well played. I strongly suggest to cut Cuz right out of your life for that stunt. She's as toxic as a Superfund site. Your aunt and any other family member who are buying Cuz's story are suspect too, IMHO.
Good job on the red dresses. Congrats on the marriage and putting your cousin in the corner....🤗🤗
Well Hubs and I had a Christmas wedding last year, everyone was in red and green and every other Christmas color. All the brides maids were in green the groomsmen were in re-.... uh oh..... lol J/K This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And hold up, you stole her man but that happened 8 YEARS before you met him?! (obsessed much???) Here, I thought my family was effed up.
The cousin is the gross one. She was just a one night stand. Jealous much.
My wife and I are from the south and all of our bridesmaids wore red. We definitely have never heard of this.
I feel so bad for OP. First her cousin wanted to take away the attention from the bride on her wedding date. When her petty action was rebutted back to not let her ruin a wedding. She leaves early upset because her pettiness. Then the aunt calls out the bride for pettiness? I really don't understand the nosy meddling aunt doing that. I find her cousin a psycho, petty person that if pushed to the brink can become dangerous. In a way of f*****g up people's lives and mental health. She should really block her from her life.
The wedding expert that referenced red in Asian weddings needs to do some research. Wearing red at a Vietnamese wedding is seen as an attempt to take attention away from the bride.
Actually, in some Asian cultures, like china, the bride apparently wears red to signify good omens. People only started wearing white dresses after queen Victoria started it.
Load More Replies...My daughter's wedding. https://www.rocknrollbride.com/2021/12/red-yellow-blue-cardiff-covid-wedding/
60 years ago I attended a wedding at a Catholic church. All of the bridesmaids wore red and the church was decorated with red and white roses. I was told it was a "Sacred Heart" wedding.
The bride should tell her cousin that people who play stupid games, win stupid prizes! Brides have every right to choose what ever color scheme they want for their wedding! Cousin lost, bride won!
Hubbies d!$k game must be magic for her to be still pining away after nearly a decade
Relax, you can freely wear a red dress to a wedding – it’s a stupid, crazy MYTH that it means you’ve slept with the groom. Think about it! Why would there exist such a tradition?🤦♀️ Up until some decades ago and still in many countries a woman flaunting she’s had unmarried sex with the groom would be shunned by the wedding party as well as by her own family. Please STOP spreading this myth. Red means joy, happiness, love and courage – a lovely way to celebrate the couple getting married. It’s unreasonable it would stand for betrayal. Also, this post sounds made up. A slight variation on “my horrible MIL decided to wear white on our wedding day, so I wore a pink wedding dress and all bridesmaids and my mom wore white.” Also a bit strange cousin holding grudge efter 8 years, couple getting married after such a long time, the cousin’s mother’s reaction etc. Not impossible, but many slightly “off” things with the story. I think some Redditor made it up.
When my daughter got married she was VERY EXPLICIT about me not wearing a fuddy duddy "mother-of-the-bride" dress. She chose a sleeveless, vibrant red lace jump suit with a mandarin collar and flare pant legs. Her bridesmaids dresses were red satin.
Sounds to me like you have some pretty toxic relatives who need to be cut out of your life. I would go as low-contact as I could without causing your own parents difficulties. If it doesn't cause them any trouble, I'd go no-contact. They sound like awful people, and you don't need those kind of people in your life.
My only reference comes from Miss Manners: it is/used to be considered wearing red at a wedding as racy; therefore, it indicates questionable taste on behalf of the wearer.
I've always heard if the bride wore red on her wedding day, she would wish herself dead. And if she wore black she would wish herself back. I've never heard if anyone else wore a specific color. So many silly superstitious!
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My mom asked everyone to come in white or cream, she wore purple and dad was grey. Break the system, do what you want, but don't be a a*s and intentionally ruin a day of celebration..
I've heard of the tradition of the bride wearing red being a poor omen. Also the cousin sounds like a spoilt brat. If I was the bride and I had heard about this, instantly uninvited. She would be relegated to the reception.
Actually, in China, brides wear red and it is a symbol of good omens. Red is a big part of Chinese culture.
Load More Replies...Ok, first of all u aren't petty, and second, ur cousin got rejected, he wasn't hers in the first place, damn
Fake/clickbait. First red dresses mean nothing of the sort, and if this was real at all then the bad (red) apple cousin simply gets banned from the wedding
Umm I wore red to a wedding and I didn't sleep with the groom!! I have never heard of this!!! But also I was told it was Christmas theme so I wore red!
So she basically hook 8 years ago and he rejected her and then op met months later? How gross she dating/marrying him? She just salty she was rejected and seems she mentally that because she sleep with him frist, she owns him and ties salty girl mom calming " she stole him". The groom isn't a f*****g object he Clearly wants to be with op and the fact she still salty when this eight years is really sad, she should moved on from this rejection and just find someone who actually wants to be relationship with her.
First of all I Never heard of such thing about wearing a red dress but that was a good move you made with having them all to wear Red, don't worry about your cousin or aunt getting mad, as long as you're Happy everything is great you don't have to sleep or deal with them at all 👍👏
I wore a red gown(not a bright red shade; it was cranberry)in my sister's wedding, but never heard of this meaning. It was many years ago, anyway.
True she doesn't own the guy, but let's keep it real. Thirsty beotch couldn't dig for her own dic, hundreds of men all around and she's secretly checking for sloppy seconds. Jus sayn. Guessing she and her relative must not be close or didn't grow up together and were like distant strangers, cuz in my family we don't suc the same dix. Doesn't matter if she had em in highschool, college or whatever. That creates friction. And family ties last forever, n lot more important than some fly by dix. Especially with high divorce rates these days. Just my opinion based on my own family members. Years ago one of my old sisters old boyfriends tried to talk to me. Lol I laughed in his face cut em off. Told him look don't ruin our friendship with this nonsense. And I'll give u an hour to let her know. But that's it, one hour before I call her. He thought was joking at first, then he realized I wasn't when I reminded him clock was ticking. Told him we don't share dic. Diff type guys 2
i’ve never heard of this red thing, and i wore a red dress to my aunt’s wedding. (to be fair, the girls in my mom’s family wore red, and the girls in my aunt’s family wore blue) also, when i was trying to get a slice of cake, i accidently knocked it over😂 (don’t worry, it was already destroyed by other people getting cale very poorly)
Why does every bord panda article I open reload to this page? Think the editors bother to read the comments?
He chose not to purse a relationship from EIGHT years ago & she's still upset? Honey, no one "stole your man". It sounds like he dodged the crazy bullet. (Or maybe he just decided you were a sl*t? and took a pass). I've never heard of the red dress thing either, but I love how the OP ruined her cousin's plan to ruin her wedding. That's a level of petty immaturity I've never seen before.
To summarize: The malignant narcissist left early, and her mother got the petty cure.
The aunt had to be misinformed (or she's as crazy as her daughter), but EVEN giving her that benefit of the doubt still makes it hard to understand where she gets off calling the bride "petty" for letting others wear red at her wedding instead of letting only the cousin wear a special color at someone else's wedding...like, what?!?
As a reader I do not know the full scope of anyone's family neither will I pretend to. With that said I must acknowledge that the cousin was classless and anyone who was in support of her gesture was also classless unless this is some diehard tradition which must be upheld and even so it's foolish. If she was always apposed to the relationship then why was she invited? If she was apposed to the relationship then why go to the wedding?After those 2 major questions are answered I find it tasteless to want to make a statement at someone else's wedding. I feel she can make a statement by finding someone to marry her.
Apparently it's southern US thing. I was raised with basic etiquette in the NE US and the only place you're not supposed to wear red is a funeral because it's disrespectful.
Not a southern thing as we all keep on trying to say. Clearly it's a made up story. Whoever wrote it was trying to be clever but it backfired on them.
Load More Replies...Never heard of this. Not southern but in Missouri. Personally I would of let her wear it. It would of only embarrassed her anyways. If anyone even got the reference (and judging by the comments unless she sent out a family wide email nobody there would of either) it would just show that she was apparently not good enough for him and he chose the better person. Imo
I’m 63 yrs old never heard of such a thing so ? if the entire bridal party wears a red dress …. ? ☺️
If this toxic person is someone you call "one of your closest friends," no offense but you should seriously consider raising your standards. A true friend would keep the drama out of it and make an effort not to ruin your special day with her tasteless choice in wardrobe. Showing up the bride on her wedding day almost never ends well. Best wishes.
Why would you deliberately wear a red dress for that purpose? Sounds like a $hitty friend.
I'm petty. I'd have said some cr*p like "I didn't steal him. Its not my fault your pu**y couldn't keep him".
Has anyone ever heard of GIRL CODE OR MORALS OR FAMILY VALUES. Why do you want someone your cousin slept with and I know I don't believe this story especially if the Aunt got into it. There's a lit more to it. I definitely don't want anyone who knows what my sister cousin or best friend or any friend for that matter v- jayjay look smell taste or feel like. Heffas are desperate
it's still funny to me that people think they can't cut off family when they are toxic just because "they are family" trust me cutting negative people out of your life will only improve your way of living.
Your cousin was hurt you went out with someone that probably hurt her deeply. If she was being petty its because she was reacting from a place of pain and anger. She probably doesnt like the guy but your her family. Had you been a good cousin you would of spoken to her first (not because it was “her man”) but because you need to considered her feelings. Its called respect and LOVE. Why not go apologize and let her know you love her and your sorry for making her feel hurt all over again. Your hubby probably owes her an apology too for the way he hit and ended things. JUST SAYING 🤷🏻♀️
My father and mother got divorced before my father remarried my cousin and my mother married the sidepiece she was banging for the last five years leading up to their divorce. Lady, you have no idea what "gross" means.
I would have dis-invited her from the get go. Anyone who announces their intent to sabotage a wedding needs to go... brides maid or not.
Didn't I read this a few months ago but that time it was white? Lol, I guess nothing is wrong with using left overs
No lie cousin sleeping with a guy before I started dating him would probably stop me from marrying him
Red is anciently (medieval times) the color of martyrs. Jilted lovers of high societal standing (at royal courts) often wore red as well as a nonverbal protest, a reminder to the gent, followed by outrageous flirting with his perceived court rivals, hence the whole "dangerous" vibe to the red dress. This could have been a thing at weddings at one time but is less likely because of the church's long standing emphasis on purity (for women) and the cultural degradations that followed for unrepentant sinners in those days. Black dresses as wedding attire for women is also anciently associated with a wish to 'curse' or bring disaster to the marriage, and plans for weddings were carefully planned and even postponed to avoid having attendees appear in black due to the year of mourning for deceased loved ones.
Stupidest "problem " I've seen so far. Red dress means she likes red..nothing more, nothing less.
The fact that the aunt called and was upset, tells us exactly why the cousin is an a*s; she got it from her mama! If she was so upset that her cousin is marrying this man, why not just stay tf home?! The OP shouldn’t have invited the cousin AT ALL but I’m happy her wedding wasn’t ruined and she’ll have a funny story to tell.
Trying to think back on how many times I wore red and to who's wedding🤔😨😝
Okay, I too was today years old when I found out about this "red" thing. My MOH wore a red/burgundy dress to my wedding, and had maybe met my husband a handful of times before (we were in a LDR). Oopsie :D I gotta tell her, I'm LMAO
I have a beautiful red dress that I also already have worn to weddings... It's a dark red, whine red, though. And I've never slept with anyone's husband 😅
Lesson #1- if you have a family that would *start a war because you didn't invite a whore of a cousin who insisted on attempting to ruin one of the best days of your life"- maybe, perhaps, just a thought, flip em the bird and don't worry about what anyone else thinks about what makes YOU happy. FFS.
F**k that cousin and f**k that aunt. Now we know where she gets it from. Go no contact.
Since when has wearing a red dress meant that someone slept with the groom?
Honestly this was a lesson in you having better boundaries. Why invite someone then gossip about their bad behavior when you knew it would be dicey. Boundaries.
The only reason that I have ever known for not wearing red to a wedding is the connection to the "wound and the winding sheet". In that it symbolizes sickness, harm and death (think dead bodies in a shroud)
I would have uninvited the slutty cousin and told rest of family to get over it, that’s not a family it’s a drama clan!!! They don’t deserve to be in your life, let alone tell you how to orchestrate your wedding. Good for you for showing them that you smarter than they are!!
Jesus what's wrong with pll and colors of their dress on the wedding. Soo much color drama
i dont understand this "damage done" mentality. people arent allowed to have a life prior and post someone ? this is ridiculous. neither is this woman gross, nor is there any damage done just because they went to bed before they met.
Moral of the history: don't be an a*s&(le with your relatives because of human being -_-
Many years ago, when I was young & lovely, my sister bought me a designer dress for Christmas that was bright red, but not glitzy, backless, or strappy- it was very modest in style, but bright-red with a bright sky-blue belt. I wore it to many weddings (I had never heard anything about it meaning the wearer previously having sex with the groom!) I had never heard of it until reading reading this post (I am from Indiana, by the way.)!!
I had a bf, Ex now who's SiL HATED ME, Anyway 1 day she sends her husband to tell me NOT 2 WEAR GREEN as she DOESN'T want me looking like I'm in the wedding party. So I tell him to tell her that I'm going to wear RED from Head to Foot! So after I let That sink in, I did 1 BETTER! I went and bought this INCREDIBLE DRESS But in Black! Now ladies we All know know, We zip up the dress, Turn around Take a look and Then Buy it Right? Well that's What I did, Matched it With FISHNET Stayup Stockings AND Stiletto Heels ALL BLACK! Now Here's Where HER, MY NOW SiL's Karma Kicked in 4 being such a Mean Witch When I got in the car I realized 1 little problem. That beautiful black dress with tiny embroidered flowers Had NO GIVE! To Move, To Sit Down To Get Up I Had 2 HIKE THE DRESS UP + SHOWING OFF MY FISHNET STOCKINGS!! As I was Going up some stairs 1 waiter collided With another!! SCREW U MARISABELL I WOULD HAVE NEVER WORN THAT IF U WERE NICE!!
I am confused that a) a red dress means that but we have weird customs here, too, b) anyone sane would want to brag about having slept with the groom or bride at their wedding c) instead of just disinviting such a weirdo, the solution of the bride is to make the groom look like a totally insatiable womanizer, who had sex with half the wedding party?
Wow. Imagine red being a harlot's color in the southern USA. How very Handmaid's Tale.
Whatever happened to just being able to tell people like your cousin to fk off? Ah, right, we live in a country where half of the people voted for the Klansman Biden. After that, nothing else that lame is any more impressive. White people problems are funny sometimes.
It sounds like someone made up a story so that they could make this “red dress” a new thing. I call BS on the whole thing.
This story is BS. It's the second such story I've read here. Bottom line, if a cousin was so petty as to insist on wearing red to indicate she slept with the groom previously, then you just don't invite her. Why would the family be cool with the cousin being petty by insisting on the dress, but go to "war" if the OP didn't invite her? Such phoney nonsense.
Actually some families are very what's the word.. Entitled. They think they are entitled to do everything with everyone and others actually just decide to go with it
Load More Replies...Um, no, the story is real, first of all, you cannot just say that someone else is making something up and tell everyone else that you're right and they're wrong, and second of all, the cousin wouldn't be happy at all because she was trying to do something petty by standing out with that sort of meaning, but because everyone wore red, she didn't stand out and it ended up seeming like she was going with the red theme. Also, what in gods name do you think that OP would gain if she had made up the story?
Load More Replies...I reckon ignorance and assumptions, the source? You.
Load More Replies...wow, misogynistic much? have you even been outside?
Load More Replies...Has anyone one heard of this 'red' tradition? If so, can you say which area/culture you have come across it?
I did a quick Google search; apparently it's a Southern US thing? Red is in reference to being "a scarlet woman," or so one article said. Weird.
Load More Replies...LOL!! It makes me want to wear red to every wedding I ever attend now just to stir the pot lol
Load More Replies..."I'm not inviting her because she wants to brag to everyone she slept with the groom. Whoever feels uncomfortable because of it is welcome to skip the wedding, too." There.
I agree. She could have just disinvited her and had a nice day. By doing what she did, no matter how satisfying it was, it sort of gave the other girl exactly what she wanted which was to take attention away from the bride on her wedding day and made it all about her. The bride's memory of the day will never not have that mixed in with it because it was a big part of the day, and included a lot of people and pictures, etc. SO... I mean, I get the girl was a jerk but simply uninvite her and move on with your life.
Load More Replies...I've never heard of the "wearing red means you slept with the groom" thing before. Must be something cultural I guess. The only reason why it's not always advised to wear red is that you risk outshining the bride as it's a very strong color. But still, what a weird family. That aunt should be ashamed. OP didn't "steal" anyone. Humans aren't property and OP and her husband are two consenting adults who are in love and should be allowed to celebrate that. And they definitely shouldn't have to break up because of some fling he had back in the day. Just because he slept with her cousin 8 years ago and then dumped her doesn't give her any claim to him at all. Instead of being angry at OP the aunt should be angry with her own daughter for PLANNING to ruin someone's wedding just because she's jealous.
I actually think it comes from the movie “Gone With The Wind” because Scarlett had a thing for Ashly Wilkes, who was married to Melanie. Scarlett was throwing herself at Ashly and Rhett caught her and made her wear a garish red dress to Melanie’s birthday party. It was quite scandalous
Load More Replies...LOL my wedding gown was scarlet red so guess this tradition applied “true” I slept with the groom 😂
I always thought it was for the bride. White is I'm still vigin. Red = couldnt contain myself.
Load More Replies...I am confused with the "its gross" comments. How can this be gross? it is not like it was happening at the same time...
The only thing that I have ever heard of against wearing red to a western (assuming this is a western wedding) wedding is "too bright will take away attention from the bride". Only others I have heard is in Chinese and Indian weddings because red is a bridal colour. No one else seemed to take issue with wearing red.
I have a feeling that this cousin might be the only person in the world who knows about this "tradition" and most guests, seeing her in a red dress, would think nothing of that. She'd have to carry a banner.
No in Louisiana its a known thing and there's would have been whispers. She definitely would have stood out but im glad the bride cut her out that way... Priceless!!
Load More Replies...I believe she did the best she could here. By asking her mom what would happen if she uninvited the cousin shows that the family is already prone to drama, since she had to guage the extent of the fallout. Secretly switching the color scheme allowed the bride to avoid embarrassment and being made to feel uncomfortable on their wedding day (as anyone should be able to) and still permitted the cousin to do the spiteful thing she wanted to do. The only difference is the cousin's act of be-redding herself didn't produce the outcome she clearly desired. I'd call that 3 for 3. ⚡
Additionally, keeping the change a secret prevented the cousin from discovering her plan had been foiled and concocting one even more dastardly that no one else knew about.
Load More Replies...Wow! Imagine red being the harlot's color in the southern USA. Someone should inform the cousin the Handmaid's Tale is fiction not a guidebook.
It more likely would have been associated with the Scarlet Letter (if actually a thing, which it all but isn't) but still
Load More Replies...The aunt claiming the bride stole her cousin's man is just hilarious. I assume the aunt is the cousin's mother so she probably didn't get the real story. Some guy you randomly hook up with once at a party is in no way your man. The cousin clearly never got over him.
Uhhh my fall wedding's colors were gold and cranberry, all my bridesmaids wore a shade of red... 🤣
I'll bet the cousin would have been sure to tell everyone why she was wearing red if given the chance. I'm another who never heard of that.
I suspect the red "message" was something the cousin saw in a book or movie; sand believes it's a thing. Just like she apparently believes a drunken one night stand means a "happily ever after". Cousin must have exhibited some of her true colors back then. And the groom obviously dodged a bullet. Cousin needs some therapy to get past her imaginary relationship with the groom.
Load More Replies...I have never head of this "Tell" and the cousin and the aunt sound like a piece of work. WHY was this cousin invited to the wedding in the first place?... she is a b***h. Brilliant move on the Bride's part inviting one and all to wear red. Just because someone is family doesn't mean they get to be part of your life if they have such rude motives.
White only became traditional because people wanted to copy Queen Victoria in 1840. We need to go back to more colorful gowns; me I wouldn't look good in all white, darker shades suit me better.
Wow, fruit doesn't fall far from tree, if her mom acts like that! Petty... 🙄
This is not a tradition I am aware of. I do understand bright red to be an attention grabbing color so avoided by many. On the other hand my brother in law just got married to a Mexican woman and she let us know red will be something the ladies in her family will wear. We had a brief conversation about her family customs. Just enough for me to let her know I’m generally down for having a “ respectfully good time.” Meaning simply that I want to respect her traditions and share in the good times.Some ladies in her family wore red. They looked amazing but they still let her shine. The rest wore neutral business attire with comfortable but cute shoes. They also looked lovely. I didn’t see any stop sign red. Honestly I don’t think anyone really would have batted an eye. The bride looked stunning.
Next you'll be telling me that wearing white means that the bride is a virgin. These newfangled traditions have got to stop!
Isn't that what it was supposed to have meant initially? Also, the fact that we have never heard of the wearing red tradition, does not mean it is a new one. It could be an old one that we have simply never heard about.
Load More Replies...All of this is so incredibly straight I don't even know where to begin. EIGHT years ago your cousin has a fling and she and you are both weird about the fact that your husband wasn't a total virgin before meeting you?? People have lives before marriage. Cousin was wrong but OP pls chill. You're not gross. Your husband's sexual history is not something it is reasonable to judge him for at all. And don't judge yourself either?? Like damn purity culture relaly out of control at this point. Straight people y'all okay? Please relax.
It's much more about his d**k being inside a family member before than his d**k being inside just anyone before her. It is kind of weird to think of going to bed with someone who you know for a fact has had relations with family, especially close family. Not gross, not something to judge about, but I see how it could feel odd.
Load More Replies...Your cousin is just jealous that you got a better man than she’ll ever get his stupid jerk. You don’t care about her at all or your aunt for that matter you go girl.
8years ago... and she's still caught up on him??? Ffs cousin needs to get lost. And so does her mother.
If I was the OP: OP [talking to aunt]: "Your daughter tried to create drama at my wedding, and you're blaming ME for taking countermeasures?!"
The “red dress means you slept with a groom” isn’t a thing so I imagine this attention-seeking tart was hoping to go “aren’t you guys wondering why I’m wearing THIS dress?” With her reason followed by a “everyone totally knows this” to get people to assume they themselves hadn’t heard that fact.
So, if wearing red is such a well-known sign that you've slept with the groom - which seriously the majority of us only heard about while reading this - surely all and sundry wearing red must have made it look like the groom really got around. Or. The majority of people at the wedding have never heard of it either and so her cousin wearing red wouldn't have mattered at all. That's a whole heap of oddness.
This was a BRILLIANT solution on the bride's part and that sounds petty, vindictive, and not worth a friendship at any level. I suggest therapy--and I mean that kindly. Holding onto that much resent for 8 years is not healthy and suggests underlining issues.
I don't understand why it "was gross" she had a one night stand with the groom YEARS ago. This is really stupid and petty, in the end there is still drama, but at least it wasn't on the wedding.
52 yr old, live in the south, never heard of this. not sure where this is from
The fact that your cousin (and you, lowkey) seems to think you're 'gross' for... ::checks notes:: your boyfriend not being a virgin when you got together? That's weird OP. Also why are her panties in a twist? EIGHT years ago she and the groom had a one-night stand and he clearly communicated with her and y'all BOTH hung up on this still? Wtf. Are straight people okay???? damn. anyway bride you did the right thing your cousin can boil her head. But stop s**t shaming yourself and your husband also??? Like people do exist before getting married and they have lives and stuff. Damn.
It's much more about his d**k being inside a family member than his d**k being inside just anyone before her. It is kind of weird to think of going to bed with someone who you know for a fact has had relations with family, especially close family. Not gross, not something to judge about, but I see how it could feel odd. Pretty sure the assumption that she's upset about his non-virginity is incorrect lol.
Load More Replies...I think it’s hilarious. The cousin is an idiot. She wanted to wear red to the wedding to let everybody know that she had a one night stand. Hooked up with a guy she just met. Is that something to brag about? Quite frankly, it’s just kind of slutty.
Kudos to the bridge for having a healthy conversation with her groom and moving forward in a creative way to handle family drama.
Well, no one mentioned this when I chose red for my wedding colors and had the bridesmaids and FLOWER GIRLS in red dresses and the groomsmen in red vests (including my husband's own brother lol) and my brother wore a red shirt and my mom even wore a darker reddish burgundy to go with our colors so I think it is safe to say this is not a very widespread or well known thing. Red looks amazing on so many people and it made my white dress and his black tux stand out so nicely. In fact, David's Bridal offers all of their bridesmaid's dresses in the color Apple Red.....well they did 20 years ago when I was planning my wedding, just had our 18th anniversary....but I assume they still offer the color even if the dress styles have changed.
ok, that definitely is fake. An aunt sends an email to a bride to tell her that she is a b.. because [checks notes] hurting her cousin by not letting her be petty on her wedding. There is no way anyone in real life does that.
I’m from New Orleans and have never heard of this. I’m 71 and have to quite a few weddings! But I think your cousin needs therapy. I won’t even ask if she’s single!
Never heard of the red dress thing, now wondering if I've ever worn red to a wedding.......
A one night stand does not make him someone's "man" as the aunt put it. The cousin seems to have pangs of jealousy or something.
So one microscopic area of the world and this is claimed to be a thing everyone knows about 🙄 Given the area involved they've probably had most of the family too 😂😂😂
It says a lot about your cousin that she would want to brag about being so 'easy', and rejected as well! I would have let her.
The "you are gross because you are going to marry a guy I hooked up with once" gives me " virgin " vibes. I mean, double standards, that someone is gross for not being pure.
I highly doubt that's the case. I'm surprised people think that's the issue, but they are cousins, so obviously it's a matter of smashing the same person as your family member did, nothing to do with virginity.
Load More Replies...So she basically salty that she rejected 8 years and somehow she has claims if op dates or married him. He not object he clearly rejected and she see him as her because she sleep with him and " had" him frist. It actually kind of creepy. She should moved onto some one who actually want be relationship with her but instead she acting like child that didn't get her way to a thing that happened 8 year ago...
Wearing red indicates you’ve slept with the groom? What are they 12?
Never heard about the red dress thing. In China people wear red wedding dresses and white for funerals. Meanwhile your cousin makes me sad. So very sad. Maybe get an out of state friend sent her an anonymous list of therapists in her area. Or help her self esteem yourself. If you want the to stop BTA. Tell her despite everything she looked damn good in her dress.
I'm with the group that had no frkn idea or heard of this 'red dress' meaning. I'm 60 and besides my own I think I've been in about 14. No mention of it anywhere. Most were in the United States but also 6 'overseas' to include Sicily, Rome, London and The Philippines.
Never heard of the red thing and I'm old enough to be retired. OP, well played. Very well played. I strongly suggest to cut Cuz right out of your life for that stunt. She's as toxic as a Superfund site. Your aunt and any other family member who are buying Cuz's story are suspect too, IMHO.
Good job on the red dresses. Congrats on the marriage and putting your cousin in the corner....🤗🤗
Well Hubs and I had a Christmas wedding last year, everyone was in red and green and every other Christmas color. All the brides maids were in green the groomsmen were in re-.... uh oh..... lol J/K This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And hold up, you stole her man but that happened 8 YEARS before you met him?! (obsessed much???) Here, I thought my family was effed up.
The cousin is the gross one. She was just a one night stand. Jealous much.
My wife and I are from the south and all of our bridesmaids wore red. We definitely have never heard of this.
I feel so bad for OP. First her cousin wanted to take away the attention from the bride on her wedding date. When her petty action was rebutted back to not let her ruin a wedding. She leaves early upset because her pettiness. Then the aunt calls out the bride for pettiness? I really don't understand the nosy meddling aunt doing that. I find her cousin a psycho, petty person that if pushed to the brink can become dangerous. In a way of f*****g up people's lives and mental health. She should really block her from her life.
The wedding expert that referenced red in Asian weddings needs to do some research. Wearing red at a Vietnamese wedding is seen as an attempt to take attention away from the bride.
Actually, in some Asian cultures, like china, the bride apparently wears red to signify good omens. People only started wearing white dresses after queen Victoria started it.
Load More Replies...My daughter's wedding. https://www.rocknrollbride.com/2021/12/red-yellow-blue-cardiff-covid-wedding/
60 years ago I attended a wedding at a Catholic church. All of the bridesmaids wore red and the church was decorated with red and white roses. I was told it was a "Sacred Heart" wedding.
The bride should tell her cousin that people who play stupid games, win stupid prizes! Brides have every right to choose what ever color scheme they want for their wedding! Cousin lost, bride won!
Hubbies d!$k game must be magic for her to be still pining away after nearly a decade
Relax, you can freely wear a red dress to a wedding – it’s a stupid, crazy MYTH that it means you’ve slept with the groom. Think about it! Why would there exist such a tradition?🤦♀️ Up until some decades ago and still in many countries a woman flaunting she’s had unmarried sex with the groom would be shunned by the wedding party as well as by her own family. Please STOP spreading this myth. Red means joy, happiness, love and courage – a lovely way to celebrate the couple getting married. It’s unreasonable it would stand for betrayal. Also, this post sounds made up. A slight variation on “my horrible MIL decided to wear white on our wedding day, so I wore a pink wedding dress and all bridesmaids and my mom wore white.” Also a bit strange cousin holding grudge efter 8 years, couple getting married after such a long time, the cousin’s mother’s reaction etc. Not impossible, but many slightly “off” things with the story. I think some Redditor made it up.
When my daughter got married she was VERY EXPLICIT about me not wearing a fuddy duddy "mother-of-the-bride" dress. She chose a sleeveless, vibrant red lace jump suit with a mandarin collar and flare pant legs. Her bridesmaids dresses were red satin.
Sounds to me like you have some pretty toxic relatives who need to be cut out of your life. I would go as low-contact as I could without causing your own parents difficulties. If it doesn't cause them any trouble, I'd go no-contact. They sound like awful people, and you don't need those kind of people in your life.
My only reference comes from Miss Manners: it is/used to be considered wearing red at a wedding as racy; therefore, it indicates questionable taste on behalf of the wearer.
I've always heard if the bride wore red on her wedding day, she would wish herself dead. And if she wore black she would wish herself back. I've never heard if anyone else wore a specific color. So many silly superstitious!
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My mom asked everyone to come in white or cream, she wore purple and dad was grey. Break the system, do what you want, but don't be a a*s and intentionally ruin a day of celebration..
I've heard of the tradition of the bride wearing red being a poor omen. Also the cousin sounds like a spoilt brat. If I was the bride and I had heard about this, instantly uninvited. She would be relegated to the reception.
Actually, in China, brides wear red and it is a symbol of good omens. Red is a big part of Chinese culture.
Load More Replies...Ok, first of all u aren't petty, and second, ur cousin got rejected, he wasn't hers in the first place, damn
Fake/clickbait. First red dresses mean nothing of the sort, and if this was real at all then the bad (red) apple cousin simply gets banned from the wedding
Umm I wore red to a wedding and I didn't sleep with the groom!! I have never heard of this!!! But also I was told it was Christmas theme so I wore red!
So she basically hook 8 years ago and he rejected her and then op met months later? How gross she dating/marrying him? She just salty she was rejected and seems she mentally that because she sleep with him frist, she owns him and ties salty girl mom calming " she stole him". The groom isn't a f*****g object he Clearly wants to be with op and the fact she still salty when this eight years is really sad, she should moved on from this rejection and just find someone who actually wants to be relationship with her.
First of all I Never heard of such thing about wearing a red dress but that was a good move you made with having them all to wear Red, don't worry about your cousin or aunt getting mad, as long as you're Happy everything is great you don't have to sleep or deal with them at all 👍👏
I wore a red gown(not a bright red shade; it was cranberry)in my sister's wedding, but never heard of this meaning. It was many years ago, anyway.
True she doesn't own the guy, but let's keep it real. Thirsty beotch couldn't dig for her own dic, hundreds of men all around and she's secretly checking for sloppy seconds. Jus sayn. Guessing she and her relative must not be close or didn't grow up together and were like distant strangers, cuz in my family we don't suc the same dix. Doesn't matter if she had em in highschool, college or whatever. That creates friction. And family ties last forever, n lot more important than some fly by dix. Especially with high divorce rates these days. Just my opinion based on my own family members. Years ago one of my old sisters old boyfriends tried to talk to me. Lol I laughed in his face cut em off. Told him look don't ruin our friendship with this nonsense. And I'll give u an hour to let her know. But that's it, one hour before I call her. He thought was joking at first, then he realized I wasn't when I reminded him clock was ticking. Told him we don't share dic. Diff type guys 2
i’ve never heard of this red thing, and i wore a red dress to my aunt’s wedding. (to be fair, the girls in my mom’s family wore red, and the girls in my aunt’s family wore blue) also, when i was trying to get a slice of cake, i accidently knocked it over😂 (don’t worry, it was already destroyed by other people getting cale very poorly)
Why does every bord panda article I open reload to this page? Think the editors bother to read the comments?
He chose not to purse a relationship from EIGHT years ago & she's still upset? Honey, no one "stole your man". It sounds like he dodged the crazy bullet. (Or maybe he just decided you were a sl*t? and took a pass). I've never heard of the red dress thing either, but I love how the OP ruined her cousin's plan to ruin her wedding. That's a level of petty immaturity I've never seen before.
To summarize: The malignant narcissist left early, and her mother got the petty cure.
The aunt had to be misinformed (or she's as crazy as her daughter), but EVEN giving her that benefit of the doubt still makes it hard to understand where she gets off calling the bride "petty" for letting others wear red at her wedding instead of letting only the cousin wear a special color at someone else's wedding...like, what?!?
As a reader I do not know the full scope of anyone's family neither will I pretend to. With that said I must acknowledge that the cousin was classless and anyone who was in support of her gesture was also classless unless this is some diehard tradition which must be upheld and even so it's foolish. If she was always apposed to the relationship then why was she invited? If she was apposed to the relationship then why go to the wedding?After those 2 major questions are answered I find it tasteless to want to make a statement at someone else's wedding. I feel she can make a statement by finding someone to marry her.
Apparently it's southern US thing. I was raised with basic etiquette in the NE US and the only place you're not supposed to wear red is a funeral because it's disrespectful.
Not a southern thing as we all keep on trying to say. Clearly it's a made up story. Whoever wrote it was trying to be clever but it backfired on them.
Load More Replies...Never heard of this. Not southern but in Missouri. Personally I would of let her wear it. It would of only embarrassed her anyways. If anyone even got the reference (and judging by the comments unless she sent out a family wide email nobody there would of either) it would just show that she was apparently not good enough for him and he chose the better person. Imo
I’m 63 yrs old never heard of such a thing so ? if the entire bridal party wears a red dress …. ? ☺️
If this toxic person is someone you call "one of your closest friends," no offense but you should seriously consider raising your standards. A true friend would keep the drama out of it and make an effort not to ruin your special day with her tasteless choice in wardrobe. Showing up the bride on her wedding day almost never ends well. Best wishes.
Why would you deliberately wear a red dress for that purpose? Sounds like a $hitty friend.
I'm petty. I'd have said some cr*p like "I didn't steal him. Its not my fault your pu**y couldn't keep him".
Has anyone ever heard of GIRL CODE OR MORALS OR FAMILY VALUES. Why do you want someone your cousin slept with and I know I don't believe this story especially if the Aunt got into it. There's a lit more to it. I definitely don't want anyone who knows what my sister cousin or best friend or any friend for that matter v- jayjay look smell taste or feel like. Heffas are desperate
it's still funny to me that people think they can't cut off family when they are toxic just because "they are family" trust me cutting negative people out of your life will only improve your way of living.
Your cousin was hurt you went out with someone that probably hurt her deeply. If she was being petty its because she was reacting from a place of pain and anger. She probably doesnt like the guy but your her family. Had you been a good cousin you would of spoken to her first (not because it was “her man”) but because you need to considered her feelings. Its called respect and LOVE. Why not go apologize and let her know you love her and your sorry for making her feel hurt all over again. Your hubby probably owes her an apology too for the way he hit and ended things. JUST SAYING 🤷🏻♀️
My father and mother got divorced before my father remarried my cousin and my mother married the sidepiece she was banging for the last five years leading up to their divorce. Lady, you have no idea what "gross" means.
I would have dis-invited her from the get go. Anyone who announces their intent to sabotage a wedding needs to go... brides maid or not.
Didn't I read this a few months ago but that time it was white? Lol, I guess nothing is wrong with using left overs
No lie cousin sleeping with a guy before I started dating him would probably stop me from marrying him
Red is anciently (medieval times) the color of martyrs. Jilted lovers of high societal standing (at royal courts) often wore red as well as a nonverbal protest, a reminder to the gent, followed by outrageous flirting with his perceived court rivals, hence the whole "dangerous" vibe to the red dress. This could have been a thing at weddings at one time but is less likely because of the church's long standing emphasis on purity (for women) and the cultural degradations that followed for unrepentant sinners in those days. Black dresses as wedding attire for women is also anciently associated with a wish to 'curse' or bring disaster to the marriage, and plans for weddings were carefully planned and even postponed to avoid having attendees appear in black due to the year of mourning for deceased loved ones.
Stupidest "problem " I've seen so far. Red dress means she likes red..nothing more, nothing less.
The fact that the aunt called and was upset, tells us exactly why the cousin is an a*s; she got it from her mama! If she was so upset that her cousin is marrying this man, why not just stay tf home?! The OP shouldn’t have invited the cousin AT ALL but I’m happy her wedding wasn’t ruined and she’ll have a funny story to tell.
Trying to think back on how many times I wore red and to who's wedding🤔😨😝
Okay, I too was today years old when I found out about this "red" thing. My MOH wore a red/burgundy dress to my wedding, and had maybe met my husband a handful of times before (we were in a LDR). Oopsie :D I gotta tell her, I'm LMAO
I have a beautiful red dress that I also already have worn to weddings... It's a dark red, whine red, though. And I've never slept with anyone's husband 😅
Lesson #1- if you have a family that would *start a war because you didn't invite a whore of a cousin who insisted on attempting to ruin one of the best days of your life"- maybe, perhaps, just a thought, flip em the bird and don't worry about what anyone else thinks about what makes YOU happy. FFS.
F**k that cousin and f**k that aunt. Now we know where she gets it from. Go no contact.
Since when has wearing a red dress meant that someone slept with the groom?
Honestly this was a lesson in you having better boundaries. Why invite someone then gossip about their bad behavior when you knew it would be dicey. Boundaries.
The only reason that I have ever known for not wearing red to a wedding is the connection to the "wound and the winding sheet". In that it symbolizes sickness, harm and death (think dead bodies in a shroud)
I would have uninvited the slutty cousin and told rest of family to get over it, that’s not a family it’s a drama clan!!! They don’t deserve to be in your life, let alone tell you how to orchestrate your wedding. Good for you for showing them that you smarter than they are!!
Jesus what's wrong with pll and colors of their dress on the wedding. Soo much color drama
i dont understand this "damage done" mentality. people arent allowed to have a life prior and post someone ? this is ridiculous. neither is this woman gross, nor is there any damage done just because they went to bed before they met.
Moral of the history: don't be an a*s&(le with your relatives because of human being -_-
Many years ago, when I was young & lovely, my sister bought me a designer dress for Christmas that was bright red, but not glitzy, backless, or strappy- it was very modest in style, but bright-red with a bright sky-blue belt. I wore it to many weddings (I had never heard anything about it meaning the wearer previously having sex with the groom!) I had never heard of it until reading reading this post (I am from Indiana, by the way.)!!
I had a bf, Ex now who's SiL HATED ME, Anyway 1 day she sends her husband to tell me NOT 2 WEAR GREEN as she DOESN'T want me looking like I'm in the wedding party. So I tell him to tell her that I'm going to wear RED from Head to Foot! So after I let That sink in, I did 1 BETTER! I went and bought this INCREDIBLE DRESS But in Black! Now ladies we All know know, We zip up the dress, Turn around Take a look and Then Buy it Right? Well that's What I did, Matched it With FISHNET Stayup Stockings AND Stiletto Heels ALL BLACK! Now Here's Where HER, MY NOW SiL's Karma Kicked in 4 being such a Mean Witch When I got in the car I realized 1 little problem. That beautiful black dress with tiny embroidered flowers Had NO GIVE! To Move, To Sit Down To Get Up I Had 2 HIKE THE DRESS UP + SHOWING OFF MY FISHNET STOCKINGS!! As I was Going up some stairs 1 waiter collided With another!! SCREW U MARISABELL I WOULD HAVE NEVER WORN THAT IF U WERE NICE!!
I am confused that a) a red dress means that but we have weird customs here, too, b) anyone sane would want to brag about having slept with the groom or bride at their wedding c) instead of just disinviting such a weirdo, the solution of the bride is to make the groom look like a totally insatiable womanizer, who had sex with half the wedding party?
Wow. Imagine red being a harlot's color in the southern USA. How very Handmaid's Tale.
Whatever happened to just being able to tell people like your cousin to fk off? Ah, right, we live in a country where half of the people voted for the Klansman Biden. After that, nothing else that lame is any more impressive. White people problems are funny sometimes.
It sounds like someone made up a story so that they could make this “red dress” a new thing. I call BS on the whole thing.
This story is BS. It's the second such story I've read here. Bottom line, if a cousin was so petty as to insist on wearing red to indicate she slept with the groom previously, then you just don't invite her. Why would the family be cool with the cousin being petty by insisting on the dress, but go to "war" if the OP didn't invite her? Such phoney nonsense.
Actually some families are very what's the word.. Entitled. They think they are entitled to do everything with everyone and others actually just decide to go with it
Load More Replies...Um, no, the story is real, first of all, you cannot just say that someone else is making something up and tell everyone else that you're right and they're wrong, and second of all, the cousin wouldn't be happy at all because she was trying to do something petty by standing out with that sort of meaning, but because everyone wore red, she didn't stand out and it ended up seeming like she was going with the red theme. Also, what in gods name do you think that OP would gain if she had made up the story?
Load More Replies...I reckon ignorance and assumptions, the source? You.
Load More Replies...wow, misogynistic much? have you even been outside?
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