Music is an integral part of celebrations, and weddings are no exception. Musical choices on such a special occasion have the power to affect the mood and set the overall atmosphere of the event. And this can look very different, depending on the couple’s preferences. 

This bride picked fast-paced songs for her special day to energize the guests. However, the grandparents-in-law thought it would be nice to request their wedding track, which was much slower than she liked. The moment this melody reached her ears, the bride came rushing to shut it down. Such behavior didn’t sit well with her husband’s family, causing a whole ordeal. 

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with wedding and event lead planner Kathleen Swift and wedding DJ Matthew Reate, who kindly agreed to tell us more about song requests at special celebrations.

Couples may consider allowing song requests at their wedding. However, this bride was completely against it

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

The moment her perfect wedding playlist was disturbed by a slow song, she came rushing to shut it down

Image credits: Sarah Noltner (not the actual photo)

Most couples want more control over their music

To learn more about the music scene at weddings, Bored Panda reached out to wedding and event lead planner Kathleen Swift and wedding DJ Matthew Reate. According to Reate, allowing guests to request songs depends on the couple. “Some don’t mind at all, while others, especially in NYC with high-earning clients, can be quite particular. They often have a “do not play” list, which is crucial for me to follow. I’m there to balance their needs with the vibe of the party, using my judgment as needed.”

Meanwhile, Swift says, “Requesting a song is usually fine at weddings, as long as guests are respectful! Some couples will even ask guests for their song requests on the invitation or through their wedding website to ensure everyone has something fun to dance to.

Whether the couple asks or not, it’s generally ok for guests to request a song from the DJ once the dance floor is open. As a guest, you know the couple pretty well if you’re invited to the wedding, so use your best judgment if you think this would bother them. If I were a plus one for a wedding where I did not personally know the couple, I would refrain from requesting a song in that case.”

Now, to have a no-song request policy at such a celebration, the bride and groom really have to know their guests as well as their musical tastes. If they decide on a playlist that the guests will appreciate, then there’s really nothing wrong with that, as everyone will likely have an opportunity to get on the dance floor at some point or another. 

However, when this isn’t the case, guests may be more eager to take their suggestions to the DJ, which may clash with the preferences of the couple and stir up some unwanted disagreements. 

Image credits: Thomas AE (not the actual photo)

There are a few things  wedding guests should know before requesting a song

In cases where guests do have the liberty of expressing their musical preferences, they might want to know a couple of things before anyone finds their requests infuriating or rude. 

If you wish to hear your own special or wedding track, Reate recommends checking in with the couple first, as these suggestions are usually very specific. Meanwhile, Swift says, “If it is a song that holds a special memory for you or is an inside joke, it should only be requested if the couple is part of that memory/joke and there are enough other guests involved that it won’t empty the dance floor.”

However, she emphasizes, “Never request a song that is going to focus attention on yourself or someone other than the couple. The goal of the night is to celebrate the two people who just got married, so any song requests should be something that they enjoy! Never embarrass the couple or try to upstage them.”

To remain on the DJ’s good side, you may also want to be flexible and understanding. Reate notes, “A request doesn’t always mean it will be played. Between keeping the event on schedule and managing moments like the cake-cutting, it’s easy to miss some. The main focus is on the flow of the event and the guests’ enjoyment.

Swift also reminds guests to respect the person playing the music. “Only request a song once. If your song isn’t played after that, drop it. As a guest, you don’t know what instructions the couple gave the DJ. They may want to stick with a certain vibe or have a list of “Do Not Play” songs that the DJ is following.

You can be sure that the couple hired a professional they trust, so the DJ has the final say on the songs, and you can trust that they have a reason for playing or not playing each song. Please do not harass them if they are not playing your song request!”

She concludes by saying, “The DJ has put a lot of time into curating a playlist based on the couple’s preferences, so spend some time on the dance floor enjoying yourself!”

Image credits: Mitchell Orr (not the actual photo)

Commenters saw the bride as the one who was in the wrong

Later, the author provided an update

Image credits: itwasmywedding

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