The couple getting married are supposed to be the center of attention at their wedding. However, Reddit user IgnoredBride felt like her friend Anna had stolen the spotlight during hers.

She was devastated that the woman came to her big day proudly showing off her pregnancy, brought her handsome husband, and hit it off with the other guests.

So the newlywed made a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the A***ole?’ explaining the situation and hoping its members would share their unbiased opinions. Here’s what she wrote.

This woman had spent three years planning her wedding, but she was hugely disappointed on her big day

Image credits: Sincerely Media (not the actual photo)

And she blames her bridesmaid for it

Image credits: drachukandrii (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Marko Milivojevic (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ignoredbride

Most people don’t spend that much time planning their wedding

Couples spend different amounts of time preparing everything for their wedding, and while there can be some big challenges that prolong this period, it generally doesn’t take so long as it did for the author of this post.

“I would say the general consensus is one year in advance is enough time to plan your standard, local wedding,” award-winning planner Nicole-Natassha Goulding told Brides. This timeframe gives couples an ample window to book a venue, hire the necessary vendors, find a wedding dress, and take care of the rest of the necessities.

Image credits: Jeremy Wong (not the actual photo)

Still, stress is common

However, even if you plan out the details, your big day can still be full of surprises. Including unpleasant ones. In addition to the stress created by spending a huge amount of money and the expectations that go along with that, weddings can bring up a lot of family-related stress. After all, the bride and groom’s relatives may have very different visions for what they do and do not want to happen at the wedding, based on their personal preferences, values, religious beliefs, and even political orientations. There may also be disagreements within a family, and the bride and groom themselves are not going to agree on everything.

“Money and family conflicts aside, perhaps the most stressful aspect of wedding planning, and the one most likely to fuel ‘bridezilla’ moments, has to do with the pressure to be a beautiful bride and to look flawless on your big day,” Juliana Breines, Ph.D., who is a social and health psychologist wrote. “This pressure can lead women to starve themselves for months before the wedding so that they can fit into their too small dress, to spend countless hours and dollars on hair and make-up products and services, to overdo sun or tanning bed exposure, to worry so much about whether their skin will break-out that it breaks out worse than ever, and to feel chronically dissatisfied with their appearance.”

Breines said that all of this extreme focus on appearance can be harmful to remembering that what makes you beautiful on your wedding day is the joy and love you feel more than it is your dress, hair, and make-up. And it sounds like that’s exactly what happened to the Redditor behind the post. However, that doesn’t give her the excuse to vilify Anna.

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Image credits: Terje Sollie (not the actual photo)

When you’re celebrating love with your closest people, it’s important to stay grounded

In these situations when tensions start boiling, Braines believes that brides should start from within and can give themselves permission to be imperfect.

“With everything you’re likely already dealing with, the fear of coming across as a bridezilla does not need to be added to the list,” she explained. “At the same time, however, you can take an honest look at yourself and your behavior and figure out if it’s what you want—and try to change it if it’s not. Giving yourself a break doesn’t mean giving yourself permission to boss everyone around and refuse to compromise on anything.”

Of course, we don’t have the full picture, but maybe if the Redditor was feeling the same even after one and a half months, the falling out with her friend was inevitable and the wedding was just a catalyst?

Image credits: Fernanda Latronico (not the actual photo)

People weren’t sympathetic towards the author of the post and said that the woman should reevaluate her priorities

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