“We Are Absolutely NOT Allowed To Wear Coats”: Bridesmaid Stresses About Her Health After Bride Bans Coats From Her Winter Wedding
If it’s cold outside, you put on a sweater, or a coat, or wrap your favorite extra-big sweater around you. It’s common sense. However, some people, who are about to get married, might focus a bit more on aesthetics and creating a certain image of themselves than the welfare of their nearest and dearest. Some even go as far as banning warm clothing entirely. In winter. In Northern England!
Redditor u/Due-Resolve4835, a bridesmaid, shared how her dear friend had decided to ban them all from wearing coats because it might “ruin the photos.” At sub-zero temperatures, mind you. When she brought up the issue, there was a spot of drama, which was why the woman turned to the AITA online community to get their take on the situation. Reddit was very supportive.
You’ll find the full story, and how various internet users reacted, as you scroll down below. Once you’re done reading, we’d love to hear what you think, dear Pandas. What would you have done in the OP’s shoes? Have you ever been to a winter wedding before? At what point does doing stuff “for the photos” cross the line? Drop by the comments to share your opinions and experiences.
Bored Panda reached out to u/Due-Resolve4835 via Reddit, however, she declined to comment on the situation. Meanwhile, Bored Panda got in touch with Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society for a quick chat about feeling good and looking stylish no matter the weather, as well as how to broach difficult topics with the bride-to-be (if at all!). You’ll find their comments below.
One bridesmaid ran into a pretty unique situation. Her friend, who was having a winter wedding, decided to ban coats
Image credits: Photography Maghradze PH (not the actual photo)
The woman shared the story online and asked the internet whether she was wrong to raise the clothing issue at all
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
She was overwhelmed by the support (and witty comments) that the others shared with her
Image credits: Due-Resolve4835
Anna, from The Wedding Society, told Bored Panda that guests should “definitely choose layers!” when dressing for a wedding in the cold.
“This allows you to avoid big bulky items of clothing that may look or feel a little more dressed down than you’d like, and it allows you to add or remove layers to suit the various rooms and areas you’ll be in throughout the day and night,” she explained that versatility and flexibility are key here.
Bored Panda wanted to get The Wedding Society’s take on how bridesmaids might voice unpopular suggestions in the final stretch before the weddings.
Here’s what Anna told us: “Honestly? Unless it is truly warranted, try to avoid raising suggestions with the marrying couple, especially in those final few weeks. They will have been peppered from every direction by every person they know with suggestions about every aspect of their day,” she noted.
“They’re probably seriously over it. And when all is said and done, it is their day. They’re free to choose what they want and their guests can either come or not. Cut the couple a lot of slack in those final stages before the wedding—the stress can get overwhelming and they need support love and understanding from their loved ones.”
Some of the signs and symptoms of hypothermia include shivering, exhaustion, confusion, and memory loss. Drowsiness, slurred speech, and fumbling hands are also indications that you may need to seek medical help.
It is absolutely essential to get warm as soon as possible. Drink warm liquids, but avoid alcohol. Use dry blankets to warm the person up. Be sure to remove any wet clothing beforehand. And be sure to contact a doctor.
The vast majority of the AITA subreddit’s members thought that the OP did absolutely nothing wrong by bringing up the whole coat issue with the bride. It really is common sense. It’s cold in winter. You don’t want to ruin your health. And, frankly, you want to enjoy yourself since you’re invited and all. It’s a bit hard to do that when you’re so cold, you can’t feel the champagne glass in your hand.
The last thing you want to do is spend an entire day with blue lips and chattering teeth—anyone who sees you might think you’re a White Walker, and they’ll end up calling the rangers of the Night’s Watch to investigate.
Yes, it’s a celebration of love for the happy couple. And most guests are willing to sacrifice their time and money to share that special day with them. But hypothermia is where most people ought to draw the line.
There are many ways to solve a similar situation. If it’s important for the bride for everyone to look great in the wedding photos, everyone could agree to wear matching coats, scarves, and gloves. The wedding date isn’t exactly a secret: you can prepare for the seasonal cold in style well in advance.
Another potential solution would be to have a quick photoshoot before anyone really gets super cold, and then everyone could warm up inside. It might even be fun!
Something else to consider would be wearing very discreet space-age thermal clothing underneath all the fancy dresses during the (hopefully, very brief) photoshoot.
But at the end of the day, open and honest communication is what helps solve these types of problems. You shouldn’t be afraid to raise important issues—diplomatically and very, very subtly of course—just because it’s someone’s wedding and everyone else is too scared to speak up. However, you have to consider whether raising the issue is worth the added stress for the happy couple: they’re dealing with dozens, if not hundreds, of different details.
If you’re a bridesmaid, it means that the happy couple trusts you and values your input. Though, sometimes, the stress of all the preparation can be so huge, the bride might snap even without wanting to.
The happy couple can check in with their closest family and friends to see if they’re being reasonable with their requests. If they’re open to feedback, then the wedding is bound to be a success.
When all is said and done, it’s the atmosphere of the wedding and the feel of the day that you’ll remember, not the minute details. Focus on what’s most important. And dress in layers!
Here’s what some people had to say about the entire situation. Meanwhile, the author of the post shared some more details in the comments
Yeah, I would simply inform her that I'll be wearing a coat, and if she would like me to bow out of being in the wedding party, I understand. Bride can decide whether she wants to look for a new attendant last-minute.
Load More Replies...I saw pictures of someone who had a December wedding once (this was in NW Ontario, too so it can be very, very cold) she had a wintery-looking dress (like white with white fur) and a coat that was made to go with the dress. I assume the bridesmaids had something similar for any outside photos.
I saw a wedding at the Icehotel once, the bride was wearing an ordinary strapless gown. One of her guests had the job of whipping off her coat for the photos and quickly wrapping her up again. I mean, didn't she know what -20 means in practical terms? I would have grabbed the opportunity to go full on faux fur ice queen.
Load More Replies...Yeah, I would simply inform her that I'll be wearing a coat, and if she would like me to bow out of being in the wedding party, I understand. Bride can decide whether she wants to look for a new attendant last-minute.
Load More Replies...I saw pictures of someone who had a December wedding once (this was in NW Ontario, too so it can be very, very cold) she had a wintery-looking dress (like white with white fur) and a coat that was made to go with the dress. I assume the bridesmaids had something similar for any outside photos.
I saw a wedding at the Icehotel once, the bride was wearing an ordinary strapless gown. One of her guests had the job of whipping off her coat for the photos and quickly wrapping her up again. I mean, didn't she know what -20 means in practical terms? I would have grabbed the opportunity to go full on faux fur ice queen.
Load More Replies...
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