As a former meteorologist I wholeheartedly agree!

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

I wil start using this

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

Sad thing is that they will never get to the olive oil part.

I'm gonna use this with my cat. Lol

Brad! I is disappointed in you...

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

Sex offenders should never be released.

yes

Lesbians to the rescue. I'd watch that show

For some, it’s the same thing

Bitey McBiteface.

they get cold feet

Sing Easy..

Why...why can I relate?

Whoa

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

yep that's republicans

I actually choked on my own spit laughing at this one.

Oh. I'll have to remember that one.

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

It's kinda the same with car rides, except for the windows.

ugh, Dave the snitch

y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

Yes, yes they are.

It's the new "smell ya later".

See also: Normal Feminism or Circe wearing Groucho Glasses?

but its a cute potato

Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

Now that song is a wormhole infesting my brain! Will be singing it all weekend! 😁

Awww I live in Australia, a giant huntsman is great to have. It kills all the dangerous spiders. So we let them live!

When my cat is staring intently at the ceiling, I know joe is up there. (shudder)

I once worked in an 11th floor office (top floor) that had spiders drop down from the ceiling now and then. I used to wonder what the heck they were finding to eat up there.

Where did he come from, cotton eyed joe

This was funny!! I had a giant palm sized spider in my first apartment at 18. I lived alone, came out in the middle of the night to get water and he was on the dining room chair. I was so freaked out I didn't go home for two weeks. Finally go home and get water late at night. I turn on the lights and it's sitting on the floor. I tossed my college book on top of it. Killed it! I had to have a friend come clean it up. I'm totally freaked out by spiders. Anyways, this made me think of that

Why terminated?

*cotton eyed smoothie. Coffee would have splashed, and you can hear the fruit pieces squelch when terminating him with your shoe.

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind The answer is blowin in the wind.

Cruel, he was not harming you

Should've named it Sarah Conner.

Now she is The Terminator.

Cotton eyed joe needed his beer and look what happened Always buckle up kids 😎

Cotton eyed joe!! NOOOOOO!

FFFF

Noooo! Not cotton eyed joe, you monster!

Cotton Eyed Joe is a song about an STD

They suck you in, those furry wee bastards. Masters of manipulation.

how are your eyebrows?

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

Nero under zero!

DON'T USE THE POOL!!