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People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

exhaggerated_imagine Report

#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

benphillip Report

As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#3

Griefcase

Griefcase

malonza_muli Report

#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

meme_mayezster Report

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#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

2Apples3 Report

r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#6

He’s My Biological Dog

He’s My Biological Dog

Gooooats Report

#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

doenerzwerg Report

#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

KatieOldham Report

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People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

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The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

Adm1sty Report

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qwerty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. I know that there will be people who disagree, but no sex offender should ever be given a second chance.

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222T111
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My neighbor was a nurse in Ohio at one of the prisons that house mostly sex offenders for 34 years. I asked her if she thinks they can be rehabilitated. With no pause she screamed “NO!” 32 years with the worst of the worst and she said she never met one she thought had a chance.

Alex K
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because they make money without paying taxes, and government doesn't like competition

Fluffy Griffin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only rapists I would consider worthy of a short sentence (or no sentence) would be the "statutory rape" that is between two consenting teenagers that are very close in age. (Like an 18 and 17 yo)

Shinomi Chan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All Rapists and Pedophiles should be put into one big deep pit, and leave them there. See what happens until they all die.

Maria Wallace
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rapist and pedophiles should have their thumbs and big toe cut off

Frankenfrog
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't want either. Don't want a rapist and don't want someone who wrecks people's lives and put them in danger

Kai Wee Toh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because drug dealers destroy many many many lives. Not just that of the addicts, but also the lives of the ones closest to them.

Mark Kelly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Drug kingpins orders murders. I'd like to see all those and rapists get stiff sentences.

Karen Lyon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well: it's an interesting point. I mean this as no disrespect to anyone out there who has been a victim of sexual assault, and I can't speak to the trauma to other family members when someone they love is sexually assaulted. I have seen the effects of addiction, though -- on parents, on siblings, on the children of the addicted. I think drug dealers ruin more lives than rapists.

Tara B.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having worked extensively with some pretty gruesome sex offenders (prison psychology), I can confirm that for 99.9% of them, rehabilitation is a farce. They parrot the material and say all the right things, then go out and reoffend. It’s sickening. So yeah bruh. Sell your pot, and give the rapist 25 years.

Susan Williams
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can make a drug dealer stop dealing. Once a sex offender, always a sex offender. Leaving a trail of traumatized girls who grow up into traumatized women.

surprised pikachu
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Mickie Shea
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cause smoking is bad for the lungs of the smoker, especially. The law is not equitable, it's more absurd.

backatya
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Terrorist and traders get 10 yrs or less. They should serve life if not executed

Ambar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS NEEDS TO BE ON BILLBORADS! TV SHOWS EVERYWHERE!!!!!

Pasion Jones
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

facts! as long as he not cooking up nothing we good!!! lmao dont need any Walter Whites

Paul Aguilera
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i wish all of america had the death penalty, it would solve so many problems if we just kill off the bad apples

Melissa Nunya
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as Pablo the plug isn't making meth, I have an aversion to having my house blow up

ayupama
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about the white collar criminals? They would never affect you. So, should they be free? Please, be more coherent!

humdrum
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'll have Randy the rapist, then. I wouldn't expect either one of them to respect women, but Pablo will attract idiots at all hours and Randy will sneak out quietly every night.

AnonymousBtch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But Randy would rape you. Youd just have idiots next door if it was Pablo. Youd have the fear of being raped if it was Randy.

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John Topper
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Because rich white people like to rape. Honestly it's a wonder rape is illegal at all when you take that into account.

Melvin Dragvelk
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Well the Rapist generally leaves his house to commit his crime, whereas the drug dealer has hundreds of criminals coming to his house. And how do the druggies get money for drugs? Robbing people, like your house next door.

Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not everyone who does drugs is a criminal, or even addicted to drugs. Some people do them for fun on the weekends after work. Also most people who buy drugs would not be stupid enough to rob the house beside their dealer, because their dealer would not put up with that s**t at all. That's a good way to get on the bad side of a drug dealer.

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#10

Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

ShinigamiDady Report

#11

Lesbians To The Rescue

Lesbians To The Rescue

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#12

We Drove Out The Lubrication

We Drove Out The Lubrication

theredditanator Report

#13

How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?

How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?

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#14

Happens To The Best Of Us

Happens To The Best Of Us

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Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars

Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars

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#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

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#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

reddit.com Report

#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

highway_40 Report

#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

notsofancymum Report

#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

Matelord99 Report

#21

“Festering...”

“Festering...”

Octo-bird Report

#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

kevinowdziej Report

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#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

yoyoha Report

#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

karenvideoeditor Report

#25

World Changer

World Changer

ronnui_ Report

#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

ShinigamiDady Report

#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

lindsaybauer36 Report

#30

Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!

Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!

EnlightenmentAddict Report

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#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

praaany Report

#32

Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind

Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind

kevinowdziej Report

#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

SwipingNoSwiper Report

#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Lemightyman Report

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The Eyebrow Spectrum

The Eyebrow Spectrum

reddit.com Report

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Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

#37

Julius In The Coolius

Julius In The Coolius

VA2M Report

#38

You Are One Of My Sims

You Are One Of My Sims

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#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

Daniel_Min Report

#40

Whatever Works

Whatever Works

UltraThicc42 Report

#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

reddit.com Report

#42

Anon Knows The English Language

Anon Knows The English Language

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#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

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#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

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Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

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#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

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Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

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#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

UnculturedYam Report

#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

MartinniTheJawa Report

#50

Snarrot

Snarrot

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#51

Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

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#52

If You Don't Find Waldo He's Gonna Stab You

If You Don't Find Waldo He's Gonna Stab You

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#53

Huh?

Huh?

deepzeke Report

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Not A Squirrel

Not A Squirrel

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#55

Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank

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"Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

"Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

LotG Report

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American Horse Pirates

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My_Memes_Will_Cure_U Report

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“Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”

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Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

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Some Day

Some Day

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Birds

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Cursed Kebab

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Magic Skeleton

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I Love Biology Facts

I Love Biology Facts

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#65

Translation Please

Translation Please

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#66

The Wet World Is A Bad Place

The Wet World Is A Bad Place

VA2M Report

#67

He Should At Least Be Vibing

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#68

A Guy Ate A Bat And Now I Am Unemployed

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Naanderson2022 Report

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Steve Irwin’s Wario

Steve Irwin’s Wario

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Mainstream Consonants Ugh

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Escape Proof Wiener Bun

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#72

Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist

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Thedepressionoftrees Report

#73

When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees

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We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise

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#75

Great, Whimsical Little Flying Blisters Of Plague

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Perks Of Being An Immortal Being

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GilCisnerosCloneOrgy Report

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“Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

“Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

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It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks

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#80

Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

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#81

"Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

"Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

yosemite78atreddit Report

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I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

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#83

Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt

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#84

In The History Of Children

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“A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”

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Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby

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Virtual Cowboy

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Scared Horse. I Am Shooketh

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Dog Villains

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Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?

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Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons

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That Good Ol Southern Drawl

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#96

A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community

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Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death

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Very Specific

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How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans

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Horseback Jesus

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Primitive Urges

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#102

Yogurt

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#103

"The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

"The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

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#104

I’m An Asparagus

I’m An Asparagus

JDBROWN37 Report

#105

Hmmm Yes

Hmmm Yes

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Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him

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The Vegans Of Gaming

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#108

My Elementary School Locker Combination

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lord_tachanka43 Report

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Wrestling With A Bobcat

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Emergency Hotdog

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It’s Time To Kill Space

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#112

He Ain't Wrong

He Ain't Wrong

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If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?

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Moon’s Haunted

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Get Down Jeezy Boy

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Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend

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#118

Inspiration : 100

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#119

Well That’s A Pivot

Well That’s A Pivot

napqueen1 Report

#120

Circumcise Me, Captain!

Circumcise Me, Captain!

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#121

Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will

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#122

Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest

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See Ya Later

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Makeup Brand New Lexicon

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#125

When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?

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Don’t Be A Fool

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Diet Autism

Diet Autism

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Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama

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Being Medium Ugly Is Lit

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Y'all Ever Just...

Y'all Ever Just...

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#131

Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

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#132

Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me

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Icy

Icy

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This Scholarly Film Reviewer

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#135

Checkmate, Aethiesm

Checkmate, Aethiesm

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#136

Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

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#137

I Want To Move To New Jersey

I Want To Move To New Jersey

A_Mei_Zing39 Report