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People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

exhaggerated_imagine Report

#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

benphillip Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

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As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

meme_mayezster Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

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#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

2Apples3 Report

r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

doenerzwerg Report

#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

KatieOldham Report

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I want cake
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

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People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

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The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

Adm1sty Report

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#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

Blackpanther786110 Report

#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

reddit.com Report

#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

highway_40 Report

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A B C
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

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#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

notsofancymum Report

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Gandalf the Pink
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

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#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

Matelord99 Report

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

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#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

kevinowdziej Report

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#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

yoyoha Report

#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

karenvideoeditor Report

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Auntriarch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

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#25

World Changer

World Changer

ronnui_ Report

#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

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bryguy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

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#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

ShinigamiDady Report

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I I
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

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#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

lindsaybauer36 Report

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#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

praaany Report

#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

SwipingNoSwiper Report

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Mazer
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

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#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Lemightyman Report

#36

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

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#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

Daniel_Min Report

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elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

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#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

reddit.com Report

#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

drnkchineseboi Report

#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

CrimsonComet777 Report

#45

Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

RyckandMorti Report

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

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#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

markedly Report

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Friday
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

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#47

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

genius23sarcasm Report

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

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#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

UnculturedYam Report

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

MartinniTheJawa Report

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#51

Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

Round_Rock_Johnson Report

#53

Huh?

Huh?

deepzeke Report

#55

Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank

Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank

synthgrrl Report

#56

"Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

"Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

LotG Report

#58

“Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”

“Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”

ttlai Report

#59

Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

afrid_ali Report

#63

Magic Skeleton

Magic Skeleton

Pasghettipourn Report

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the child
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

didn't expect motivation among the wondrous gobbledegook in this article but thank you

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#64

I Love Biology Facts

I Love Biology Facts

bonelazo Report

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This rule is only true for land predators. Most fish and birds have eyes facing to the sides, because they have to navigate through a 3 dimensional medium.

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#66

The Wet World Is A Bad Place

The Wet World Is A Bad Place

VA2M Report

#69

Steve Irwin’s Wario

Steve Irwin’s Wario

smok000 Report

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#71

Escape Proof Wiener Bun

Escape Proof Wiener Bun

trulygreg67 Report

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Michelle Brandt
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can you imagine this little cutie running off to grab his hotdog bun because he knows he needs it to go outside? Middle of the night "Mom I gotta potty!" *drops costume on your face* OMG that's adorable!

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#72

Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist

Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist

Thedepressionoftrees Report

#73

When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees

When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees

bigtimeyikes Report

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Deborah B
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You realise that this makes just as much sense as the human version of capitalism.

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#74

We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise

We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise

Thedepressionoftrees Report

#77

“Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

“Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

trish-from-HR Report

#78

It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks

It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks

Octalgulfweed560 Report

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Lillukka79
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not quick, easy or free when the closest river is 5km away.

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#79

Gay Insider Trading

Gay Insider Trading

_mach Report

#80

Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

VyceVictus Report

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Jo Johannsen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your burgeoning existential crisis has moved me. Go forth and meltify.

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#81

"Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

"Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

yosemite78atreddit Report

#82

I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

AmazingScallion Report

#83

Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt

Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt

jp_1896 Report

#84

In The History Of Children

In The History Of Children

BlanketMage Report

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Annamagelic
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And yet it turns out children have been about 10000% better at following the rules and minimizing the spread of covid than adults.

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#85

“A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”

“A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”

Dxj_R Report

#86

Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby

Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby

Un_FaZed211 Report

#87

Jenga Tower Of Blood

Jenga Tower Of Blood

floridatastic Report

#88

Virtual Cowboy

Virtual Cowboy

ApXv Report

#90

Dog Villains

Dog Villains

norro58 Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The one in purple is the meanest one, and she is the big sister of the other one who is less evil but who obeys because he is wary of her.

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#91

Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?

Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?

Howard_duck1 Report

#92

Spring Rolls Are Unpredictable

Spring Rolls Are Unpredictable

BillDixonish Report

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kristy sickles
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked at a restaurant and DMX came in one day and bought a Heineken and a burger I personally cooked for him and he ordered another one to go and gave me a hug so I guess he liked it lol. He was very nice and yes I kept that beer bottle! RIP my friend!

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#93

Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons

Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons

Livid_Jeweler612 Report

#94

That Good Ol Southern Drawl

That Good Ol Southern Drawl

treesmithmusic Report

#96

A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community

A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community

lilsadb*tch69 Report

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K Witmer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have Elvis pez dispensers in unopened boxes that are 33 years old. Someone offered 800$ for them. I have 3. I did not know there was a pez community but now I must be a member

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#97

Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death

Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death

Udzu Report

#98

Very Specific

Very Specific

theOG-Larrymenta Report

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Mac
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so f*****g funny oh my god the last part😂

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#99

How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans

How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans

Dresslerj1 Report

#100

Horseback Jesus

Horseback Jesus

reddit.com Report

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A B C
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha yeah, in my hometown in the early 2ks, that was the "a*sf**k guy". It was a hobo, probably with some sort of mental deficit, just rambling around town yelling stuff about a*sf**king all day long.

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#101

Primitive Urges

Primitive Urges

jkpianocomposer Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a pond with tadpoles in my backyard... I am having weird urges right now...

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#103

"The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

"The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

why-am-i-sad Report

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#105

Hmmm Yes

Hmmm Yes

kaploov Report

#106

Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him

Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him

Devioustuna247 Report

#107

The Vegans Of Gaming

The Vegans Of Gaming

c4jina Report

#108

My Elementary School Locker Combination

My Elementary School Locker Combination

lord_tachanka43 Report

#109

Wrestling With A Bobcat

Wrestling With A Bobcat

megahornet Report

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Charity Amante
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like having to pee when you've been swimming- pulling up the ole one piece is torture

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#112

He Ain't Wrong

He Ain't Wrong

Briskey Report

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Shelp
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never understood why the Americans started using "daddy" in a sexual way. That's beyond me

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#113

If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?

If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?

Juj_88 Report

#114

Moon’s Haunted

Moon’s Haunted

TheAlphaOmega21 Report

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A B C
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that seems to be the US way of solving things. Just bring guns.

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#115

Hottie Hot Take

Hottie Hot Take

nividdesai Report

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Rita Shapiro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where do the multitaskers go? I suppose if we adopted your new system they could commandeer the specially-marked mandatory trans bathrooms in Alabama, but that's too far to drive for most of us.

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#116

Get Down Jeezy Boy

Get Down Jeezy Boy

TtTwichy21 Report

#117

Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend

Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend

spoonboyforkman Report

#119

Well That’s A Pivot

Well That’s A Pivot

napqueen1 Report

#120

Circumcise Me, Captain!

Circumcise Me, Captain!

bitchyswiftie Report

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Mazer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s so hard not to react to those little gems, once you do, you have lost years of hard won ground

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#121

Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will

Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will

Fanfic_Galore Report

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Luigi was only necessary for Waluigi's generation. Now the ritual is complete.

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#122

Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest

Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest

Photmaus Report

#123

See Ya Later

See Ya Later

harrygill1991 Report

#125

When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?

When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?

ThisIsOmeySalvi Report

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Troux
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Turtle sang in Three Amigos, turtle gonna sing in real life.

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#126

Don’t Be A Fool

Don’t Be A Fool

Spacemann7 Report

#128

Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama

Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama

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#129

Being Medium Ugly Is Lit

Being Medium Ugly Is Lit

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Marcia Cash
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

boyfriend told me "You're not beautiful, but your cute. That's great! Beauty fades, but cute is forever."

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#131

Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

chrsandersson Report

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Sarah
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haven't heard that version, but considering the meaning behind the original, there's no way that song works with "Santa Buddy."

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#132

Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me

Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me

wholelottabread Report

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Troux
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you take it off after the shower or just put on a form fitting shirt and wait for queries?

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#133

Icy

Icy

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#134

This Scholarly Film Reviewer

This Scholarly Film Reviewer

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#135

Checkmate, Aethiesm

Checkmate, Aethiesm

Shorya12 Report

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Troux
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fits just as well around the body of a cobra. There's even room for two hands. Go with God.

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#136

Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

Sleuthin___ Report

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#137

I Want To Move To New Jersey

I Want To Move To New Jersey

A_Mei_Zing39 Report

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Donkey boi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's wrong with the old one? This is a terrible throw-away society!

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