What a rude, insensitive pig the sister's boyfriend is. He's lucky he didn't get a punch in the nose.

The only time humour is appropriate is when the woman in question repeatedly uses humour to deal with the challenges she faces. It’s never ok to assume that they are comfortable talking about it or people bringing everyone else’s attention to it. Would he want the woman in question to joke about him if he had testicular cancer and had one removed? I doubt it very much. FFS, be more kind!

My eldest sister went through breast cancer and watching her be sick, grey and tired all the time IS NO F*CKING JOKE. I don't think I would have been as calm. I would have flown across the table and attacked without even thinking.

This is what I call someone being a t***t. Make a joke you know it's clearly going to offend someone and it's not in good taste, person gets upset, then you just go "IT'S A PRANK BRUH!" and act like you're the victim.

Sister sees the worst in everybody? Hahaha, clearly not in her BF... And it's not "aggression" if the other starts. Hostile, yea; I'd hope you're hostile against invaders.

I've never had cancer but if some jack hole told me he could see one of my boobs was off or different I would be both embarrassed and angry. My husband, however, would rip him a new ahole and dare him to speak again. So dude, this guy should see you as a saint for not clocking him for speaking to your wife that way at all. You are a good man and most surely NTA. Your wife is lucky to have you (and vice-versa I'm sure). God bless.

Interesting that the wife is "soft" for leaving the room when she is upset, but the boyfriend is excused from leaving the entire gathering for *precisely* the same reason.

It’s always a good idea to ask them to explain the joke. Then they look like an AH when they can’t.

SO NTA!!! Both his sister and her boyfriend have the intellect and compassion of dead fruit flies.

You handled that perfectly and I applaud you for not breaking his nose or at least screaming and cursing at him and your sister. Cruel and whiny scum, the two of them. Lots of love to your wife, you and your mom, who is probably miserable to have a kid like sis.

Don't you just love how the boyfriend is such a coward, he just ditches the sister? And how she's so blinded, she doesn't stick up for someone who's been in the family for longer? They deserve each other, couple of pricks. The father is the worst here. He just let it happen, instead of telling the boyfriend to leave. And the sister and father have the utter GALL to tell the husband to apologize? Pathetic. You do not make fun of someone's illness or past unless they give the okay or do it themselves first. My family and I joke about my father's cancer all the time, but he's over it. I hope the best of luck for the mom, the husband, and the still grieving wife. The others? Eh. We don't tend to think about trash too much, do we?

F**k that! I'd have taken him outside right then. It would be bad enough if it were her family, but this guy didn't even know her. It's time to throw hands!

Not only is the sister's BF an Ahole, but the sister is too. She thought the wife was faking it when she got her cancer diagnosis?!?!?!?!? WTF

The sister and her boyfriend are vile, loathsome, scoundrels. Sister for thinking her cancer diagnosis was made up due to sister believing that she was attention seeking concerning her prior semi recent miscarriage. How disgusting can one person be, but then to keep piling it on, announces to her new bf at dinner with her family, upon introducing her, about her cancer diagnosis, leaving her to answer uncomfortable questions. Continuing to disrespect her by blaming her and her brother for the incident and continuing her cycle of abusive behavior towards her SIL. Sister's new bf is a real special individual, himself. Joking about someone's serious illness that caused them to lose a body part, one that can cause massive physical pain, but also emotional and mental difficulties dealing with the trauma surrounding the ordeal, but then not only won't apologize for it, but lies and drives away, whining like a petulant child. Sister is disturbing, they should cut their losses with her.

Did you really need Miss Manners to tell you not to meet a strange woman and make a "joke" about you creepy attention to one body part AND her cancer? It should become normal for everyone to call out people to explain why their "jokes" are funny. And new boyfriend should apologize. A simple, "I'm sorry."

I understand having someone joke about some health concern that is very serious. I have mental illness issues and my sister told all of our managers and the owner of the pizza place we work at. Two of the managers thought that it would be funny to do things to make my anxiety come out. One liked to stare at me even though my sister told him that this made me nervous. Thankfully he doesn't work here anymore.

Make even one insensitive joke about my childhood brain cancer and/or epilepsy diagnoses, and you and I can never be friends again. People don't choose to have cancer. Yes, I might joke about them every now and then, but it's never hurtful to me or anyone else, and it's one of my coping mechanisms.

See, this is how partners should be, for each other. Male, female, doesn't matter, but I am thrilled to see a good story about a husband.

Years ago, I had a hysterectomy due to advanced stage cancer, you would not believe the amount of "jokes" about now being an "it" and personal comments about how much "better off" I am without the female parts to cause problems later. It actually happened a few times with people I had never met before, so I was able to figure out who in the family and which friends were speaking out of turn and sharing my personal details without my knowledge or consent. Somehow though, only the missing parts make it into the story, not the battle to survive, when you've been told it may not be possible.

Hold on - the sister accused the wife of faking cancer because no-one was talking about her miscarriage anymore? What the hell is wrong with the sister?

I've heard of the tactic before where if someone tells a bad joke, you ask them to explain it as if you don't understand it. It'll make them realize their error. It was perfectly executed here, too bad the jerk boyfriend didn't use it as an opportunity to apologize.

The sister and her boyfriend sound like real gems. Cancer isn't a joking matter, unless you're specifically told by the person with the condition you can joke about it with them. The boyfriend couldn't even explain why it would possibly be funny, and it was a creepy joke even if the wife was okay with cancer-related humor. Also, I love the OP's faithfulness to his wife. He stayed with her through a miscarriage and cancer. That's true love.

Sounds like he needs to distance himself from his sister, and have an honest talk with his father. I praise his restraint for not physically getting in the boyfriend's face. I don't necessarily condone violence as a response to verbal hostility, but this would have taken some strength.

As someone who had a mastectomy 6 months ago, if some guy had said that to me, I would have slapped his face. As a stranger, he should have thought about what he was going to say, before he said it. The sister deserves him.

Only thing I wish the OP did, is after asking boyfriend 2 or 3 times to explain himself, OP should have said "huh, guess you can't" then blatantly changed the subject to something lame and/or excused himself to go to his wife. Still, great that he didn't just stand by.

What the actual F*CK. Cannot believe they're defending that POS of a bf. Your wife went through a life threatening situation and lost part of her body. A part that is a highly desirable sexual aspect in our society. You are an amazing husband for standing up for her that way, your family sounds incredibly insensitive and rude.

Sounds like Sister and BF are a match made in hell. They deserve each other.

Yeah, I don't get that "joke" either. But the guy may just be missing a filter, not truly AH. Give a 2nd chance. THEN never see him again.

Dude, f**k that guy. You should have straight up punched him in the face for that.

S**t, NTA. At that, I am swooning at this man's defense of his wife's honor and dignity. My husband would react the same, it would be ugly so fast... but luckily, I don't have anyone in my family nasty enough to have such an insensitive and arrogant ass around. Shoot, if by chance they did, they would have shut his mouth up, too! Not a genuinely good person, that sister. Pity.

Bath plug.

Jokes about cancer are NEVER funny! Just don't do it!!

If that was his first time meeting the family, he should know how to behave. That was s**t and he got s**t for it.

You. Have. NO. Obligation. To. Maintain. A. Relationship. With. Toxic. 'Family.' PERIOD.

My family and I survive by using humour, even dark humour. For us, laughter and ribbing each other is the best medicine. However, not everyone can handle that, not everyone deals with situations using humour. It's our responsibility as humans to know that we're all different. Those of us with dark humour have all learned that the hard way in some way or another. The thing is, if you say something that clearly upset the other person, you need to APOLOGISE. I feel like that could have all been solved if he said sorry and learned going forward. However, by him saying "it was just a joke, bro" shows that he's just an eejit prick. The sister sounds no better.

That kid that actually said that to his wife was a f*****g a*****e! The problem with the kids these days, is they all think they're cool badass rappers they all try to be oh I'm Mr Big I'm cool that's why I wear my pants halfway down my ass! They're nothing but pieces of s**t! He should be shot in the head for that comment! I know people with cancer and I have seen what happens to people with breast cancer it's not funny!

Oh no once again the r******d snowflake comments dont surprise me. Anything and everything can be joked about no exceptions if you disagree just kill yourself and make the world a more happy place with less hostility

First time meeting the family, talking about a heavy topic, some people respond badly. Absolutely he should have made it clear that it was inappropriate and not appreciated, but then just tell the guy "Not cool, you should apologize" and let it go. To drag it out and make it as uncomfortable as possible for everyone, what is the ultimate goal there? Make sure you never see the dude again or if he does stick around, making sure you always feel super uncomfortable at every family function for the rest of time. It was a bad joke made in a stressful atmosphere, it was not him killing your dog. I have had a few bad jokes made at my expense and if it was a one off you state your piece and let it go. Brother and sister both sound like they want to drag out drama and be angry.

Yeah I'm sure he just "asked" him to explain sounds like he tried starting s**t instead of just telling the guy how insensitive it was. And the crop oh they stopped bringing up out miscarriage.... oh you wanna talk about your baby who couldn't make it more? Seems real positive. Husband and wife sound like attention whores