It's a wonderful romanticized idea to live off the grid, convert your van into your home, travel the country, go with the flow... Also, how do you survive? Life won't just provide for you. It's a wonderful idea to be young and idealistic and free and travel and do all these things that everyone else who has a job and a home and pets and kids and responsibilities look at with a little bit of envy and just say wow, that would be interesting to try. So? Set him free. Like a dandelion poof, off you go. Make sure he doesn't get anything of yours including any of your money and hopefully, not your address or email or phone number either. Bye-bye. Go live your best life. Don't come crawling back to me when you need stability, a house, a shower, a meal....

"living off the grid" takes money. Who is going to buy the solar panels, storage batteries, hand powered water pump, etc. Does this guy have land or is he planning on squatting? Who will hunt, grow the food, preserve (drying canning, pickling, salting, etc) the food, who will hunt. This guy is a bum and wants to live his life as a bum; let him, and set him free. Good riddance.

I love how these anti-corporate off-gridders ignore the fact that every single item they use is a result of centuries of corporate industrialised society. Where do you think your camper van came from? Your computer, your books, your gun (cos I bet they have them) your food sources, your phone... and dog knows what happens when they get sick and have to get healthcare and d***s that exist as a result of decades of research by big corporations. Hypocrites, the lot of them.

Gotta love those people who think they should be handed land and the tools they need for shelter and food production and yet they contribute nothing to society. Then they claim capitalism is the problem.

If he doesn't want to work for "the man" - that's fine. But that isn't the issue, he doesn't want to WORK at all. He could become a nurse and work at non-profit hospitals - a vet tech, a social worker, a psychologist , etc. There are a many ways to WORK and hold onto your morals. Maybe if he tried that, then he would have the means to offer financial support if she wanted to quit and find another job.

I LOVE the IDEA of going off grid. Steadily building an area of land that can support mr and my family, farming, raising animals, becoming self sufficient, hmmm sounds like it needs serious investment, both financially and time wise, now where do I get the cash from? Who’s going to do the work when I get too old or injured? Yeah, I’ll stick to old fashioned capitalism, I don’t like it much but it’s the best we’ve got.

Really?!?! OP isn't sure if she should stay living in her apartment or if she should go live in the forest and eat bark the rest of her life? (I know what living off the grid is like, been there done that, it's not easy and OP will definitely be eating bark soon if there's no actual plan.)

I would have to hear the boyfriend, too, and check both of their bank accounts for the last year or so to know which one is the nutcase - if any. Because most likely, this is simply an example of a couple who doesn´t match. She might be completely right, he might have no plan and just a vague dream and, in essence, demanding that she abandon everything to be homeless with him, which doesn´t really sound like a good idea. However, I have come across cases in real life where somebody wanted to do something that either WAS unusual or just SEEMED unusual to the people who happened to be around him, and they thought it necessary to sneer on everything and everyone that was different to themselves, and needed to justify their own values and life decisions by devalidating others, and told that person that what he wanted was impossible, not thought through and downright crazy and it was absolutely necessary to know where you would be, what you would be doing, and how (continued in comment)...

Ultimatums are a hard no. And forcing someone to QUIT (unless what they're doing is unethical, but then, why did you start dating?) also a no. I have a boring corporate job in an office that's not my passion, while my boyfriend is a social worker helping the homeless. OF COURSE his job is socially better and I do envy him the satisfaction of doing something that matters. But in the end I don't hate mine and it pays the bills, so why would anyone care?

The real issue here is that he gave her an ultimatum! Controlling much? Be like meeeee!

I am that kind of guy who does not like working for MASSIVE companies, as I DO Think you are making someone else rich...If I am never in contact with the "final boss" then I don't appreciate doing that work... BUTTTT i did it anyway when I "had" to! Will do it again if I have to! and just for money money... I could not work a day in my life if I wanted to...for me it was work experience. (hidden privilege of the extremely disabled.) The idea that someone doing it is a slave? That they are wasting their time? What if they love the job? Want experience? Doing it to fun other projects and other sources of happiness? If he is not able to even ask those question and conceive of those possibilities, then he wont be able to survive "off grid" with his hustles. I will do something i should not and ASSUME she is paying MORE than half the time for everything and is trying to be humble about it... This dude is lazy and a leech...Many partners are sadly. Good on her for swatting the hand dragging her down!

That guy isn't a "free spirit". He's just aping people he heard of, uncritically subservient to an ideology he does not remotely understand. Someone with no original thought is never a "free spirit".

Swimming. In the ocean, from a beach is fun. In the ocean from a sinking ship is survival. In the ocean from a sinking ship when you could be in a lifeboat, stupid. Dollars to donuts the idiot doesn't understand what "Off the grid" entails. The Amish are off the grid. No electricity, no internet (the real grid) no personal banking transactions. I've done it, and it's much harder than it seems. You've got farm work, hunting and foraging, or starving.

We need to know more about these "friends". Are they living free and easy off the grid? I'm guessing NOT.

Lol, YTA definitely the bf. Bet that was posted from an iphone as well. Let him go, let him discover that living off the grid is actually really hard and that nobody will have sympathy when he tells them he needs help but the help he wants is paid for by being a soulless entity.