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Pregnant Woman Expects BF To Help With New Baby, He Claims His Hands Are Already Full With His Kids
Interview With Expert
Here’s a fun fact: few things send a guy into full-on panic mode faster than the word “pregnant”. One minute, he’s Captain Commitment, and the next, he’s rewriting the whole script like he didn’t get the memo. Funny how some people are all about “being ready for anything” until anything actually knocks on the door with a baby rattle in hand. That’s when the real test begins, and let’s just say, not everyone passes with flying colors.
One woman got a crash course in this reality when her “I’ll be there no matter what” boyfriend suddenly hit the brakes after finding out she was pregnant.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
An unexpected pregnancy can strain even the strongest relationships, if any of the partners is not all-in
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman learned this the hard way when her once supportive boyfriend changed his mind about having a baby, once the test was positive
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The 2 lovebirds have been dating for just 6 months, and the man always said he would support his girlfriend if she ever got pregnant, but changes his mind once it actually happens
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: WhatIsLife24
The woman asks her boyfriend to help her for 2 weeks after she has the baby, since she will need help after the surgery, but he says he has other kids that need him
Our two lovebirds live about an hour apart and haven’t even introduced their kids from previous relationships yet. Sounds like they were still cruising in that breezy dating phase, when you’re debating who snores louder and whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza. But then, boom! Baby news drops, and suddenly, what was a distant “maybe someday” conversation becomes a very real and very now situation.
The OP’s (original poster) boyfriend, who once swore he’d be there 100%, is now humming a different tune. Apparently, he thinks not going through with the pregnancy might be “the best option.”
And here’s where things get sticky: he’s leaving the final decision in her hands but making it clear he’s not too keen on sticking around if she decides to keep the baby. Classic “I’ll support you…until it’s inconvenient for me” maneuver, right?
Naturally, the OP is feeling a little miffed. And who wouldn’t be? She’s only asking for two measly weeks of help post-birth while she recovers from surgery. But now he’s all concerned about being “fair” to his other kids and their mom. Excuse us, but this seems like the perfect moment to pull out the fatherhood card and, you know, reconsider those vacation days.
The OP is not asking for him to move in, pop the question, or rearrange his entire custody agreement. Just two weeks of paternity leave, which, by the way, is pretty standard stuff. But instead, he’s acting like she’s asking for the moon while he’s busy contemplating the delicate balance of life as a dad to his other kids. Meanwhile, she’s left feeling like she’s already doing this whole motherhood thing solo.
And here’s the thing: this guy’s managed to go on two-week holidays before without his kids blinking an eye. But being around for his new baby? Suddenly, he’s got a full calendar.
According to experts, this could be a sign of emotional immaturity. When faced with real-life curveballs like an unplanned pregnancy, some people show their true colors. They might talk a big game about stepping up, but when push comes to shove, their actions (or lack thereof) speak volumes.
Translation: it’s easy to say you’re ready when it’s hypothetical, but when the reality kicks in, it turns out they’re not quite equipped for the heavy lifting.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Having an unsupportive partner can add an extra layer of stress, especially in moments when you need them the most. To find out more on this topic, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist and author of the book Am I Lying To Myself? How To Overcome Denial and See the Truth, for some comments. She told us that it’s crucial for people to be upfront about their emotions, particularly if they are feeling let down by the shift in their partner’s attitude.
Trying to understand the reasons behind their change of heart might give you insight into their thoughts and allow them to hear your perspective, which may encourage them to reconsider their stance.
We asked Dr. Greer what advice she would give to a woman whose partner is unwilling to compromise on short-term commitments to help her during a critical time such as childbirth. Greer shared that if your partner refuses to adjust their short-term plans, it may be a good moment to reassess the relationship and ask yourself if this person is dependable enough for a long-term commitment.
“If they can’t show up in the short run, how will they handle challenges in the long run? Life has its speed bumps, and their inflexibility and focus on their own needs rather than yours could indicate an inability to truly consider and prioritize you,” Greer explained.
We wanted to know how common it is for a partner to change their stance on pregnancy after initially agreeing to be supportive, and what might cause this shift. She explained that it’s not unusual for partners to change their mind about pregnancy after initially showing excitement. Often, both individuals get swept up in the moment, and the idea of having a baby can seem thrilling in the heat of passion.
However, the reality of pregnancy and raising a child can be overwhelming. Sometimes, the excitement of the idea clashes with the actual responsibilities that come with parenthood, leading to second thoughts or fears that cause them to rethink their initial support.
The real question now is, will the mom-to-be tango on solo or will she find a partner who’s ready to dance the whole routine, not just the easy steps? One thing’s for sure—this woman has more than earned the right to be annoyed. Hormones or not, her boyfriend’s response might be the sign she needs to start questioning what kind of future they really have.
What do you think of this story? Is this boyfriend giving off red flags or is this just a case of cold feet? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.
People in the comments say that the woman would probably have to raise the baby by herself if she decides to keep it, as it seems the boyfriend is not going to step up
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What do you think ?
Libstak 3 months ago (edited)
I don't understand why this is still happening. There is this thing called the morning after pill if you get over amorous and neglect contraception. Getting pregnant and having a child isn't an oh well, accidents happen life event. It is a serious life is forever changed event. I can't fathom a reasonable excuse for 2 people who both already have children to continue to be this freaking careless, it's downright utterly stupid.
Katchen 2 months ago
That’s how they both ended up with children in the first place.
Load More Replies... Becca not Becky 3 months ago (edited)
Wow. Two adults with kids from their exes don't understand the importance of safe sex. Sounds to me like he just didn't want to wear condoms and she didn't want to be on BC and expected things to just work out. Something tells me that both of these people have a long history of poor decision-making.
TribbleThinking 3 months ago (edited)
The commentary from the OP sounds very considered and measured. However, it seems to have translated into muffled unintelligible Charlie Brown teacher style talk to OH, who has then responded with "Yes, yes, I'm a really nice guy who will be there for you in every way, can we have unprotected s*x now please?"
Libstak 3 months ago (edited)
I don't understand why this is still happening. There is this thing called the morning after pill if you get over amorous and neglect contraception. Getting pregnant and having a child isn't an oh well, accidents happen life event. It is a serious life is forever changed event. I can't fathom a reasonable excuse for 2 people who both already have children to continue to be this freaking careless, it's downright utterly stupid.
Katchen 2 months ago
That’s how they both ended up with children in the first place.
Load More Replies... Becca not Becky 3 months ago (edited)
Wow. Two adults with kids from their exes don't understand the importance of safe sex. Sounds to me like he just didn't want to wear condoms and she didn't want to be on BC and expected things to just work out. Something tells me that both of these people have a long history of poor decision-making.
TribbleThinking 3 months ago (edited)
The commentary from the OP sounds very considered and measured. However, it seems to have translated into muffled unintelligible Charlie Brown teacher style talk to OH, who has then responded with "Yes, yes, I'm a really nice guy who will be there for you in every way, can we have unprotected s*x now please?"
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