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Communication is a superpower in any relationship. When used well and frequently, it helps keep you and everyone else on the same page. Simply sitting down and talking things out—openly, honestly, and without fear of judgment—is very powerful. One major issue that many couples deal with is worrying about money.
One anonymous woman, user TerribleAd4645, recently went viral on the r/tifu online community after opening up about how unsupportive she’d been when her boyfriend lost his job. Thankfully, everything ended with a wholesome twist. Scroll down for the full story and to see the advice the internet gave her. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
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Losing your job can be utterly devastating. Even if you’ll eventually find another one, the support your loved ones can give you is invaluable
Image credits: Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman opened up about how reacted the wrong way after learning that her boyfriend had been let go
Image credits: voronaman111 / envato (not the actual photo)
She later shared a wholesome update with everyone
Image credits: TerribleAd4645
Ideally, every couple should be able to talk about their finances so that they can get on the same page
According to Investopedia, couples in committed relationships ought to be able to talk to each other about their finances, habits, goals, and anxieties in a calm and honest way. They should also have similar expectations when it comes to the future, e.g., having kids, how they’ll be raised, and how they’ll pay for everything as parents.
What’s more, there shouldn’t be any financial ‘surprises’ waiting for either partner once they move in, get engaged, or get married. If you have any outstanding debts or struggle with impulse spending, you should definitely tell your partner about these things.
However, admitting to these things can be very embarrassing. That’s why it’s vital not to be judgmental. Instead of blaming each other, it’s best to look for a path forward with whatever cards you’ve been dealt.
Investopedia also warns that partners should avoid controlling each other’s spending priorities by staging power plays. When one partner has a job while the other is unemployed, or one earns significantly more than the other, there’s a vast difference in the power in the relationship. Despite this, the couple is supposed to be on the same side.
The author decided to look at the entire situation as a learning opportunity. She took some heartfelt advice from her dad, as well as the internet. Luckily, the couple made up after having a heart-to-heart conversation. They got on the same page. They even booked a small getaway to reconnect!
This shows the power of proper communication. Instead of shying away from having an awkward conversation, the couple sat down and addressed the issue. The boyfriend felt that, in this particular case, his girlfriend had her priorities backward. After he lost his job, she immediately started worrying about money instead of showing that she would support him no matter what.
Being honest, not judging each other, and making up after arguing all help keep the relationship healthy
Relationships require a lot of hard work. You consistently need to show your partner that you respect them, care about them, and have their back. But we shouldn’t assume that everyone knows how to ‘do’ relationships perfectly: we constantly learn new things about ourselves and our partners when we handle new situations. We might mess up. We might fail. But so long as we learn from our mistakes, there’s always hope for the relationship.
A huge part of this is being willing to be open and honest with your partner. When you sit down to address any issues, whether they’re minor quibbles or serious problems, you should be open to looking for a compromise. Remind yourself that you’re on the same team as your partner.
With that in mind, you don’t want to sound like you’re accusing them of anything. Nor do you want to drag every single mistake they’ve made in the past into the conversation. The last thing you want is to make them feel guilty. They’d only get defensive.
Instead, it’s best to focus on sharing how their behavior has directly affected you and made you feel. Try to look for ways how you can move past the problem. It might require a small shift in your mindset. However, some challenges might be so convoluted that they even require the guidance of a good couples counselor.
Previously, relationship coach Alex Scot explained to Bored Panda how couples can move past the ‘post-argument hangover.’
“I recommend physical touch in the form of a hug or a 6-second kiss,” she went into detail during an earlier interview with us. She noted that the point of this is co-regulation.
“[Co-regulation is] how we self-soothe as infants; a baby cries and a caregiver comes to cuddle and soothe the baby. As adults, co-regulation is very powerful and something we can use to our advantage. So even though you may not feel like hugging or kissing your partner post-argument, as soon as you can bring yourself to do so, go for it,” the relationship coach said.
“Your nervous system will thank you as it regulates with your partner’s nervous system by sensing their heart rate and breathing.”
A lot of internet users wanted to share some honest advice with the author of the post. She was willing to hear everyone out
Here’s how some other readers reacted when they read the viral story
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Some details that OP left out of her original post: OP is 23 and her boyfriend is 25. They are both very young.
Danni 7 months ago
Very young, yet very open to learning from her mistakes. Looking at her responses to people ripping her to shreds, she takes the advise, she takes responsibility and truly seems like she wants to grow and be better as a partner. I know enough 40 year olds. That still can't learn from their mistakes. Good for her.
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Apatheist Account2 7 months ago (edited)
I had a gf essentially leave me because I lost my job and couldn't spend money on her, even though she'd been earning 50% more than I was. I did a bit of freelancing and her first thought was for me to take her on holiday, not think about living expenses. She spent the last few months telling me how useless I was. I got a job 3 months after she left, ended up earning more than double what I had been, and worked for all but 2 months of the next 30 years, retiring 5 years early. So glad she left :)
RP 7 months ago
It's ok to be worried about paying the rent. It should not have been the first reaction, but reaction like that doesn't automatically mean that they only see their partner as a meal ticket. It just means that they panic about finances. There may be a history of poverty in the family that leads to this being the first reaction. They messed up but took responsibility for it. That's what makes a relationship strong in the long run. I just hope the couple are talking about splitting expenses equally now though because until kids are in the picture, they really should be splitting the essentials equally.
Ephemera Image 7 months ago
She had all the time in the world to remedy it. She left to see dad and had to be told what she did wrong,. Not a good look. Yes, she's young, but even at that age I knew enough (and cared enough!) to comfort my SO when that happened.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Some details that OP left out of her original post: OP is 23 and her boyfriend is 25. They are both very young.
Danni 7 months ago
Very young, yet very open to learning from her mistakes. Looking at her responses to people ripping her to shreds, she takes the advise, she takes responsibility and truly seems like she wants to grow and be better as a partner. I know enough 40 year olds. That still can't learn from their mistakes. Good for her.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 7 months ago (edited)
I had a gf essentially leave me because I lost my job and couldn't spend money on her, even though she'd been earning 50% more than I was. I did a bit of freelancing and her first thought was for me to take her on holiday, not think about living expenses. She spent the last few months telling me how useless I was. I got a job 3 months after she left, ended up earning more than double what I had been, and worked for all but 2 months of the next 30 years, retiring 5 years early. So glad she left :)
RP 7 months ago
It's ok to be worried about paying the rent. It should not have been the first reaction, but reaction like that doesn't automatically mean that they only see their partner as a meal ticket. It just means that they panic about finances. There may be a history of poverty in the family that leads to this being the first reaction. They messed up but took responsibility for it. That's what makes a relationship strong in the long run. I just hope the couple are talking about splitting expenses equally now though because until kids are in the picture, they really should be splitting the essentials equally.
Ephemera Image 7 months ago
She had all the time in the world to remedy it. She left to see dad and had to be told what she did wrong,. Not a good look. Yes, she's young, but even at that age I knew enough (and cared enough!) to comfort my SO when that happened.
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