I previously worked with DV survivors and "they've never been violent, though" is always a huge red flag for me. "Violent" is nebulous depending on the person and, usually, if it was bad enough to get to me it was BAD (whether there was physical violence on person or property of any kind or not)

People are taught women can't be abusers. Not to mention DV is usually framed as something violent, and if it *isn't* violent people are told they're overreacting or mistaken. So they learn to 'get out in front' of that by clarifying there was no violence.

This person is a narcissist, she's passive aggressive with controlling behavior and some type of personality disorder. She's mentally ill. She needs to be evaluated and treated appropriately. If she's been a victim of domestic violence, she's continuing the cycle, which can be par for narcissists. There's not enough detail but she closely resembles traits of a sociopath and I've lived two of them. One was my dad who was a narcissistic sociopath with a rage disorder and the second was my second husband who is a narcissistic sociopath. I'm a former nurse and mental health professional and I missed seeing it with my second husband but sometimes love blinds you but my dad is why I started studying psychology at such a young age, just for survival. It was his rage disorder that made him most dangerous.

To Ticci toasty, I'm a former mental health professional so I'm using language I'm used to and I have a a degree in psychology and nursing and I worked in the field, hand's on with clients on a daily basis, with all populations. I worked with children and adults who went from developmentally disabled to severely mentally ill and even the criminally insane, which we refer to as forensic clients as well as autistic children and adults and substance abusers because most have dual diagnoses. It's best if you know who you're talking to before you make any judgements. The language I used is general language most people know and understand.

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not what narcissist is you’re just describing abuse. just. use. abuser. stop trying to fearmonger a group of ppl where a majority of them are abused. you’re showing a huge lack of knowledge. cop shows aren’t psych classes.

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narcissistic abuse doesn’t exist this is just abuse stop throwing around b******t buzzwords to fearmonger a majority abused group of mentally i’ll people.

Narcissistic pd is literally proven by science, dear. Read some psychology textbooks or take a college course.

You raally haven't got a clue. I hope you never have to experience it.

Oof. Thanks for sharing the update, NsG.

There's a family guy episode where Meg bakes Brian a pie with her hair in it and says 'I'm inside you now" it makes me think of her 😱

If it had just been *hair* it wouldn't have been so bad 🤢

😵😵😵😵 what a horrible human being she is! I am so relieved you're away from that nasty person!!!

What happened at the family's house with food? Has he reported to the authorities and filed for a restraining order? If this is in the US he may be able to check into invoking Kevin's Law and have her petitioned if necessary and she will be forced to be evaluated for a 72 hour hold in a psychiatric facility and it will be decided what needs to be done after the initial evaluation.

I think he's from the UK, but this is great information & I hope it reaches someone who needs to see it!

I don't see how Kevin's law has anything to do with this... Were you thinking of the bakers act? Mandated psychiatric review? It's not available nationwide. Some states (Michigan as an example) forbids it.

Kevin's Law is a court ordered psychiatric hold for an evaluation of those displaying symptoms of mental illness and show symptoms of being a danger to themselves, others or may be likely to cause major damage to property due to the symptoms they're displaying. It's generally a 72 hour hold with an evaluation and a report to the court. It's currently active in Michigan. I've never used in any other state so I'm not sure if it's enacted in other states but I believe it's not just in Michigan. I went out on disability quite a while ago and a lot has changed but that law is still active because my niece is bipolar and we've had to use it, unfortunately. I'm no longer licensed in either career because I'm unable to work but I'm still volunteer as an advocate for children and innocents and anyone in need but unfortunately I have to work from home most of the time. There was a different Kevin's Law which was about food in restaurants but it never passed.

He's in the UK, guys, US laws don't apply here.

Can you tell us more? I want to know everything. One of the weirdest things I've ever read AND I'm worried about that kid...He could be anyone's son...I shudder to think I about it.

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Just curious as to where you're getting this information. I was following it on Newsweek but I haven't seen any updates. I commented that she had a form of mental illness and needed to seek treatment and he needed to be careful but I never saw any updates.

From the original post on Reddit

Damn. That b*tch is crazy. For narcissistic she's full blown sociopath

Thanks for the link, Caro Caro! There’s a lot to read, but I feel this bit suffices for us to conclude that she did it on purpose: "I pretended I wanted to move forward with our relationship, but only if she could give me some answers. I asked her why she felt the need to take a bite out of all my food in the lockbox, and if she thought it was a way of making us fall more in love (as some Redditors suggested here to me). She said no. She was angry at me and felt I couldn't tell her what to do and that is why she did it, and to pi* me off. The cake was also on purpose as she felt that I had been extremely rude up to that point in our relationship in terms of food sharing.*H explained that her father always lets her mother taste his food and that she felt that I rarely offered it to her. Therefore it was done to teach me a lesson. The fact that I was at her parents and begging her to come back (I never said that) meant I had learned my lesson. According to her I better start offering her

(cont.) ... offering her the first bite especially when we go out with her friends present."

I really hope this story is not made up as some weird form of culture bashing. This would not be considered normal in any culture!

What, is he supposed to read her mind? Communication is very important. Most people are not psychic! She going to end up being hospitalized for mental illness because she's just plain crazy.

Why would it be madeup? Don't you believe the victims? What a poor choice of words in Your comment.

Do you mean my comment, Victor Trejo? Some redditors were commenting that it "sounds made up", hence my comment that I hope it's not the case.

This is just lvl amber heard disturbed

Omigod! Can't believe I didn't see the correlation!

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sigh. y’all are so brainwashed by pointless celeb drama. if this is your way of addressing abusive situations maybe just. never interact with this stuff.

Did her father have his wife try the food first to see if it is poisoned?

Thank you.

I think what they were trying to get at is that it is never the victims fault. Saying someone should have seen it can be used as victim blaming, although I do not think that was the intention here... Just that she was capital C crazy, and in hindsight as an outsider, we can see that. It's much more difficult in the situation. We want to believe the best of our partners. It's one reason why it takes women* an average of 7 tries before they leave an abuser for good. I think we all readily agree that he has been victimized. The right decisions are often more visible in hindsight, but we can't use the information we have now to go back and beat ourselves up over decisions we made when we didn't have the information. Most of us do that, however. If you are in an unsafe situation and looking for resources, contact the YWCA (YW, not YM,) they have resources for all sexes. *I don't have the stats on other sexes, sorry!

Ticci toasty must be a narcissist I bet

Sociopaths and narcissists do tend to be abusive. Not necessarily all, but it has been many people's experiences.

Narcissists are almost always abusive. It's very rare to find one that isn't. There are many ways to be abusive, however, it just depends on what form they choose and many will choose multiple forms. Both psychopaths and sociopaths can be abusive, which is very common but the difference between the two is sociopaths tend to be very organized thinkers, very charming and charismatic quite often and very misleading and often more dangerous than a psychopath because you don't see it coming because they're very clever. It's usually only the closest to them that can see the signs while the signs of a psychopath are more apparent to others. I thought my second husband just had a detachment disorder and it wasn't until later that I realized he was a sociopath. I already figured out he was a narcissist but while I was battling a serious illness he told me he killed someone and gave me details but not enough to incriminate himself. He tried to kill me and I had to flee. He was like my dad.

One interesting thing about psychopathy that most people don't know is they actually don't anger as easily as the normal population. It's a fascinating trait because it takes so much to push their buttons typically, but when they go off, they REALLY go off.

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I don't think that is necessarily an accurate assessment. I would hesitate to try and diagnose her with such limited information. Also terrible behavior is not limited to someone who is ill. And even if she is, by 25 she would have learned what behavior is acceptable and to at least mimic emotional and social norms (if she was a sociopath.) Otherwise she would not have friends, job, etc. And people with antisocial person as little disorder (which is the actual term for sociopath,) know their behavior is wrong, they just don't care. Saying it's because she's ill not only excuses her behavior, but adds to the stigma of people with mental illnesses.

Yeah I was wondering the same thing??? I've literally never heard someone say that in my life 😂

Grace, did you not follow the Amber Heard trial...?

Any gender can be abusive. It has nothing to do gender, it has to do with personality flaws or history of seeing it or history of abuse. And there are many kinds of abuse as well, not just physical. There's sexual, mental, verbal, emotional and financial and I'm sure there are some twisted people out there who could think up others. My exes isolated me because I'm totally disabled and I don't drive, so I'm home bound and they moved me away from my family and off the grid into the middle of nowhere.

Women can be abusive, men can be abusive, non binary people can be abusive, kids can be abusive.