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“AITAH For ‘Ruining’ My BF’s Birthday Dinner Because I Didn’t Accept To Pay For Everyone?”

“AITAH For ‘Ruining’ My BF’s Birthday Dinner Because I Didn’t Accept To Pay For Everyone?”

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Dinner dates allow couples to spend quality time together, especially during special occasions. The worst thing anyone can do during such events is to invite friends to join in, a costly mistake that some people still commit. 

This happened in today’s story, where a woman wanted to treat her boyfriend to a nice dinner for his birthday. The man, however, decided to reciprocate the sweet gesture by having two of his friends tag along. Worse, he had the audacity to call her out when she refused to foot the bill. 

The incident made the woman contemplate a break-up, as she asked the AITAH subreddit for advice. 

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    Dinner dates are for couples to spend quality time together

    Image credits: Jep Gambardella / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    A woman wanted to take her boyfriend out to dinner for his birthday, but he decided to invite two friends to join

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    Image credits: KoolShooters / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    When the entire party ordered a ton of food and friends, the woman refused to pay for the whole bill 

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    Image credits: Jessie McCall / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Her actions caused a strain in her relationship, as her boyfriend accused her of ruining his birthday

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    Image credits: dreamingblondie

    Couples are encouraged to devote time to going on dates

    Relationship experts constantly stress the importance of spending quality time together. For one, The Gottman Institute advises allotting two hours a week on date nights to stay connected to each other. 

    Spending alone time with each other has massive benefits for the relationship. According to licensed couples counselor Kari Rusnak, MA, LPC, CMHC, it’s a way to build positive interactions to “store your emotional bank account.”  

    As Rusnak explains in an article for Psychology Today, couples must maintain a 5-to-1 ratio of positive and negative interactions to maintain a good perspective on the relationship. 

    “Date nights can be an opportunity to boost that ratio and have a good time together,” Rusnak wrote. 

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    Most importantly, it allows couples to have fun together and keep the spark alive. As Rusnak points out, it’s a way to balance the relationship and the stress from daily obligations. 

    The woman likely wanted a fun night out with her boyfriend to celebrate his birthday. However, he decided to ruin it and blamed her for not paying for the expenses she had not planned for. 

    Difficult conversations should not be swept under the rug

    The woman says her boyfriend has been avoiding talking to her after the incident as she mulls over a possible end to their relationship. It may be a difficult discussion, but experts advise against avoiding them. 

    “Make it a rule in your relationship that you both won’t avoid the uncomfortable stuff,” therapist and counselor Dr. Kurt Smith told HuffPost

    This is where transparency also plays a role. It’s a way for couples to build an emotional and authentic connection. As licensed professional counselor Priya Tahim, MA, LPC, NCC, said in the same HuffPost interview, the ups and downs collectively strengthen these bonds. 

    “Relationships don’t exist off only positive connections. In fact, it’s the negative experiences that often bring two people closer together,” Tahim explained. 

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    According to the author, she had been trying to reach out to no avail. She even wanted to apologize for something she shouldn’t. If her efforts remain futile, perhaps breaking off the relationship would be her next best move.

    Most readers sided with the author, as many advised her to proceed with the breakup

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    However, a few people somehow found fault in her 

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

    Read less »

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Rugilė Žemaitytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, my favorite part of the job involves browsing the web for the cutest cat pics, the funniest memes and eye-catching illustrations to brighten up your day!

    What do you think ?
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    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    3 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It's rude to invite poeple and not to pay for their dinner"...Dude, YOU were the one who invited them, so go ahead and pay for them, you colossal moron!

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    3 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow! She was THE BOSS refusing to pay for the freeloaders... then ruined it by still being with someone whose gaslighting her. She sounds like she's reluctant to dump him, even though he's still treating her like sh*t. The OP isn't the AH, but she needs to imagine what life will be like if she sticks with this nasty POS.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he changed a date dinner to a friend's dinner without telling you and expects her to pick up the bill? I don't like any of this, definitely would not be paying for people I didn't invite and would have a talk about communicating with him.

    Load More Comments
    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    3 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It's rude to invite poeple and not to pay for their dinner"...Dude, YOU were the one who invited them, so go ahead and pay for them, you colossal moron!

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    3 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow! She was THE BOSS refusing to pay for the freeloaders... then ruined it by still being with someone whose gaslighting her. She sounds like she's reluctant to dump him, even though he's still treating her like sh*t. The OP isn't the AH, but she needs to imagine what life will be like if she sticks with this nasty POS.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he changed a date dinner to a friend's dinner without telling you and expects her to pick up the bill? I don't like any of this, definitely would not be paying for people I didn't invite and would have a talk about communicating with him.

    Load More Comments
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