so his father was a prick too , APPLE and tree and all that

Imagine what else he has done to girls all these years. He needs to be in serious therapy.

"Son, it's time for The Talk. Here is my only piece of advice to you on women. Gaslight them." *BARF*

That sucks so much. This is mental and emotional abuse. "Let me just destroy your self confidance and mental health so you don't realise you deserve better." So glad OP noped out. Hope that that guy gets counselling, and learns how to have healthy relationships.

Plot twist: The smell came actually from his mouth

To whoever was defending him and said that breaking up was too harsh when he was only doing what his dad taught him... that's B.S. - he's a grown man and doesn't need to do everything his dad told him to. If this guy really thinks that breaking a woman's self esteem is the way to hold on to her, she was right to break up. I don't even know why you'd want to "trap" your wife... in my marriage, I try to make sure my wife doesn't feel trapped so she is with me because she wants to be - most importantly, she has full access to all of our savings/retirement accounts, and we make sure she's got a good credit history by having half of household bills/loans in her name. When my uncle left my aunt, she had nothing in her name - not even a credit card, and it was very hard for her to build an independent life (she got alimony from him, but she couldn't qualify for a car loan, and had to have her daughter co-sign her apartment lease).

This is why I stay single. I’m a very simple person and don’t understand the mind games people play. At 30 years old, you know that’s not okay…. I think bad people and experiences teach us who not to be.

Never simply tolerate abuse from your SO. Talk about it immediately when it happens, don't wait! Otherwise resentment and insecurity will build. 9 times out of 10 it's not intentional or is some awful habit picked up from a family member. As for the 10th time when it IS intentional and not something they want to correct... Well, you just got out of a toxic relationship before it got really bad, so there is that!

If anyone is unclear on what gaslighting is in action and how abusive it can be well here you go. Dude gaslighted his Hopefully now ex girlfriend into thinking she has a medical issue.

Another male raised badly. I'm seeing a lot of Nurture over Nature with this stuff. 99% of the time when you know/meet a detestable human being with horrible attitudes/actions towards others, look at the parents and you'll find all the explanation you need.

Glad she dumped him, but the turmoil she endured and the “reasoning” behind it INFURIATES me.

Yeah, the father is wrong too, but anybody who hears this advice and says, "Hey, I'll try that" is going to have serious power issues in the relationship even if he quits doing this particular thing.

Omg I'm speechless. How one human being can do this to person with who you are in actual relationship? I'm so sorry she went through that, she should also know better about herself and not blindly believing this comment, while yes, sometimes you change deo and it triggers wrong sensors in your partner evoking bad smell, but normal person would approach it differently I think. Good you dumped him!

I'm glad she got away but I'm also worried about the guy's mom. Is she still alive? If both his parents are alive then mom is probably still going through this abuse.

It's negging and emotional abuse. Another technique my shitty abusive husband enjoys is that whatever observation I make about life, my day, etc. he'll say that it's wrong or that's not what happened. It's like gaslighting. Women, be smarter than me and leave the pathetic abusers!!!

The entire family needs therapy. Especially the father. I wonder how far back this goes? Maybe even dad was taught this. Abuse like this is often handed down and taught to multiple generations.

What a loser. I would dump his a*s in a hot minute.

Dad is a pitiful excuse of a human.. and that offspring is too. Honestly. He outright stated that this is a technique **TO MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL LOW**. Ignoring anything else, about it... What humane individual EVER thinks "make your loved one feel terrible" is an acceptable or 'good' piece of advice? So this alleged adult fully believes "make your partner feel horrible" is a good thing. What other messed up social ideals does he think are okay that no normal person would ever think is okay??? And who are the nutters who were like 'Give him another chance' - like... what the heck?? You are dealing with someone who thinks 'make your partner feel like garbage' is good advice. Bloody idiot.

Isn't that basically "gaslighting"? When you constantly tell someone something that you know to be untrue, you're being abusive & manipulative. He was an idiot, but his Dad is an absolute piece of sh*t. Glad she dumped him. That is NOT a family you want to be a part of. (And his poor Mom!)

The poster did the right thing. This guy deliberately manipulated her to make her feel bad for his own purposes. Put his crap on the curb and set it on fire! Change the locks first, tho.

What's extra sad is this guys mom and how she is/was treated. He witnessed this, which I assume didn't help him either.

I’m glad she still had the esteem left to leave him. Ugh emotional abusers are the worst, they all are but the way it makes you feel so crazy and alone. Terrible.

His dad is a d**k, He is a d**k, It IS emotional abuse, it is not ok to treat people like that, but, She stayed a year with a guy that daily told he she smelled bad... I think the dad was right, lowering her self esteem worked (at least for a while), and the next woman is in for a bad time because he'll do it again for sure.

I don't know whether this counts as body-shaming or just emotional abuse, but its both in my mind

G-D, YOU'RE LUCKY! I spent 13 years in a ''relationship'' like yours and I was too depressed to get out. He threw me out of the house and told his family I had abandoned him.

What a POS, like holy crap what a horrible thing to do to someone you like! So glad she dumped his toxic a$$

This seems like a perfect way to get someone to cheat on you

WHATTHEFUCKINGHELL?!?!

Holy crap this sounds like a terribly written sitcom! Some people absolutely suck.

What the actual f*ck

How dump do you have to be to think that telling someone they smell and denying them intimacy is ok?! Seriously?!

BP: FYI, your headline is wrong. He said "sure fire" technique, which means "certain to work," not just a "fire" technique, which is modern slang that a dad is unlikely to be using.

My husband said I smell bad because I forgot to put on deodorant after I took a shower and made me upset that whole day, I refused to talk to him and he apologized a lot. He didn't mean any harm, he just didn't want me to embarrassed myself. So now, imagine how this woman has felt by being told that she was smelly everyday.

And then you wonder why some people are single... That prick better be glad that PO didn't sue him for mental/psychological damage (if that is possible)

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I can't kiss anyone that has bad breath or smokes. I just can't. On a date, if I notice someone has bad breath I will offer them a mint after dinner or in the car or whatever. If they don't want one I generally just won't kiss them at the end of the date. They typically take that as meaning I didn't like them and that's the end of it. Really, I just can't bring myself to tell someone else they have really bad breath.

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I'm coming down heavily on the "his father is the bigger AH, doing his son a disservice". Being nearly 30 does not mean he understands relationships. What's nearly 30? Anywhere between 26 and 29 depending on who you ask - and I'd say very few 26 year olds are emotionally mature enough to have gotten relationships right, and by 29 it's still not a given. Witnessing other relationships doesn't prove anything either. Are you 100% certain that every couple you encounter is completely free of emotional abuse of some description? Now, I'm not for one second suggesting OP should have given him a second chance - he needs to know what consequences are - but to be that harsh to suggest he doesn't need some kind of help is commentary AH behaviour.

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I feel bad for both people. The guy was literally raised like this and doesn't know anything else. He needs help to unlearn what he had been taught all his life. And then the girl had to live with that situation. I don't think it's a black and white case of "this person is wrong, this person is right." (Edit - apparently it's wrong to think both people need help. Both people are in bad situations, and ignoring the guy isn't going to make his situation better. You can call him (and apparently me) all the names you want, but it's not going to make him unlearn the things that he was brought up being told.)