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In my home, it is impossible to pass by the cat without giving his head a little kiss. It’s also illegal to use a loud alarm in the morning when you can simply use the vibrating function on your smart watch instead. And if you’re taking bottles to the recycling station, the money you receive better go straight towards lottery tickets.

We all have unwritten rules in our households that might not make sense to anyone else. Whether they developed overnight with your partner or they’ve been passed down for generations, we’re talking about the rules that have become reflexes to follow at home.

Reddit users have recently been revealing the unwritten rules that they abide by in their households, so we’ve gathered the most amusing ones below. Enjoy scrolling through, and be sure to upvote the mandates that you wouldn’t mind implementing at home!

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#1

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) If someone is voluntarily doing a chore, no one shall tell them how to do it differently unless damage is going to be incurred. If unsolicited advice *is* given without the intent to actively roll up sleeves and help, the task then belongs to the giver of the unsolicited advice.

WeirdBogWitch , Polina Tankilevitch Report

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#2

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash.

BarbieeBee , Anna Shvets Report

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Rose the Cook
Rose the Cook
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A rule too often ignored in commercial kitchens. Take out the rubbish but leave replacing the bag for the next shift seems to be the policy.

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#3

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) If you have a cat on your lap and want something from the kitchen someone else has to get it for you. Cat must not be disturbed.

e2323 , Sam Lion Report

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#4

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) If you tell me you can’t find something after I’ve told you EXACTLY WHERE IT IS, and I walk over there and find it EXACTLY WHERE I TOLD YOU IT WAS, I get to hit you with it.

Shytemagnet , Liza Summer Report

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#5

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) The dinner table "Dumb Joke of the Day" rule.

When I was a child my father would tell a dumb joke at dinner every night. It was probably one of my best memories from an otherwise plain vanilla WASP suburbs childhood.

I did the same with my kids. Then when the internet was becoming more of a popular resource, I tasked each of my kids to take turns bringing a really dumb joke. It truly made dinner fun, because jokes are like potatoe chips - You can't have just one. :-)
And dumb jokes are frequently very funny in their own unique way.

Now many decades later these jokes have become a highlight of family gatherings as my adult children recall their favorites from the past 35 years.
They too do it with their kids!

They also still text me stupid jokes when they find them. It keeps them in touch in a nice way.

Goofy, but it really worked well in a huge way for us.

Airplade , Askar Abayev Report

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Phantom Phoenix
Phantom Phoenix
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No-one has ever managed to weigh a rainbow, but we all know they're pretty light

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#6

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) If a cat meows at you, you meow back. It's impolite not to answer.

Leeloo_Len , Susanna Marsiglia Report

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Sarah
Sarah
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Neighbor caught me barking back at his dogs. I just shrugged and continued on my way,

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#7

If you are going to use the kitchen tongs you must perform an OSHA approved test click to ensure that they are functional.

regular6drunk7 Report

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to double click tongs in order to switch them on. Activated tongs have 50% more tong efficiency.

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#8

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other.

BloossomCandyy , cottonbro studio Report

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#9

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) Bandit, our aged Great Dane, gets the cushion on the far right of the orange couch. No exceptions, no asking him to move, that’s his spot.

austingt316 , George Pagan III Report

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Darth Kittius
Darth Kittius
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Charli, my German shepherd/golden retriever mix, gets the ottoman. She is just a little baby

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#10

Where do you want to go for dinner? How about place A? If you say no, then you have to suggest another place. You can't just shoot down all the ideas.

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arthbach
arthbach
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A useful way to deal with this is the first person suggests three places to eat. The second decides from amongst those three. If they don't want any of them, they have to make three suggestions. This works with choosing DVDs to watch, but without the requirement of eating them.

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#11

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) When someone shows you the eggs the chickens laid today, you mist admire them and say ‘eggknowledged’.

Tinyfishy , Tabitha Favor Report

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#12

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) We mute all tv commercials.

sixsmalldogs , JESHOOTS.com Report

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#13

I (29f) live with three grown men (my partner and two roomies) and I guess ours is that no matter what happens the ship shall not sink. WiFi bill is due, who has the most money rn/is available to pay it. Dishes need to be done, who has the day off or has the energy to manage it. We all feed each other's pets, water each others plants 🤷 and there's a huge amount of emotional permanence. We can confront one another about any issue cordially and have discussion. There's almost never any yelling or hostility or pettiness.

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Lyone Fein
Lyone Fein
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. A system like this only works if there is a pretty equitable distribution of everyone picking up those loose ends. If things get out of balance for a while, it can lead to a lot of resentment. I admire people who can make it work.

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#14

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) Wash your hands upon getting home. The outside world be nasty.

purpleplazas , cottonbro studio Report

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Seedy Vine
Seedy Vine
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wash my face when I get home too. Germs are crawling all over it! I get way fewer colds and flus ever since I started doing this.

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#15

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) Sometimes, my cat will carry a ball toy into the room and meow loudly. As soon as she drops the ball, every human in the house must clap and go "Yaaayy!!" It is law.

bispecsual , Hanna Report

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Jennik
Jennik
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my cats does this several times during the night with her catnip mice - gratitude for being allowed to sleep on the bed (it used to be off-limits but she's scared of loud rain...). If I don't say thank you enough times (possibly because I'm ASLEEP) she drops the slightly damp toy onto my face and pokes me a few times. I live in fear of the time she brings me a live mouse. Or a weta (shudder).

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#16

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) When I was a kid, we had the "Bernie" rule. Whoever had the worst manners at dinner was "Bernie" (short for St. Bernard like the big messy dog) and had to do the dishes.

One time my brother farted at the table and my dad proclaimed, "You are Bernie. Nobody can take that from you tonight." So I decided to test that proclamation. I proceeded to put my feet on the table, and that night I learned that there could actually be *two* Bernies and we both had to clean the kitchen.

Diiiiirty , cottonbro studio Report

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#17

Do not touch the cat. If she comes to you, fine. But do not walk over to her or chase her. She's old and the cat has enough trauma from just existing. 


Not that anything bad has happened to her. She's just one if those cats that's extremely slow to trust and moving too fast gives her Vietnam flashbacks. .

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#18

Toilet lid ALWAYS CLOSED. (Except in use of course). Keeps the dogs and cats from drinking out of it.

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MushroomHead22
MushroomHead22
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also prevents all the bacteria from the inside of the toilet bowl from splashing all through the air in the bathroom (which should be the real reason you keep it closed. clean toilet water for the dog is OK).

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#19

Everyone at home must instantly drop what they are doing and run to the kitchen when groceries arrive. One person to help empty the car and everyone else starts putting stuff away. A text will be sent when the driver is close to home- all hands on deck!

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#20

Cleaning the kitchen means you wash the counters and stove too as well as washing the dishes that don’t fit in the dishwasher. Loading the dishwasher is not a “clean kitchen”.

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#21

I guess ours is everyone eats. If it’s meal or snack time, and we have visitors, they’re offered a plate. We don’t ask them to leave or eat in front of them. When I was growing up, my dad went to the mountains to work M-F. My mother then left M-F as well (to the bar, d**g den or whatever). I was so lonely, I’d try to hang at the neighbors. They would send me home at meal time knowing I had no food, and no parents. This was the late 70s- early 80s. If we don’t have enough, everyone eats less.

Present_Basis_1353 Report

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Spencer's slave no longer
Spencer's slave no longer
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have the same "rule" in my house, it's something I grew up with and my adult kids do it too. I also have another for all those "extra" kids, now adults, who can just pop in at random " if you're hungry, you know where the kitchen is" and I'll let them know if there's anything I don't want them to have.

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#22

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) My husband and I have a large mug that says “as I suspected I was right all along”. When one of us has an “I told you so moment” the other says “you get the mug tonight”. We love the laughs we have when one of us turns the corner with that big a*s mug lookin smug while the other has a regular “pity” mug haha.

TheEggieQueen , Away-String7572 Report

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#23

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) If you get ice from the freezer for whatever reason, you must pay the ice tax to the dogs.

Famous_Excuse4803 , Vidit Goswami Report

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#24

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) No sound on when using a device, phone / iPad etc, in the living room.

No exceptions. Visitors included. Both of our Mum’s are the most flagrant breakers of the rule and get a lot of stick from our kids (teens and older) when they do.

bungle_bogs , Sam Lion Report

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#25

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) When you use the last paper towel from the roll you have to take the cardboard tube and yell “do-ta-do” in it and then give it to the dog when he comes running so he can shred it!

KelMel8417 , lungstruck Report

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#26

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) The loud noise and I’m ok rules.

If you know you’re going to make a loud noise, say dropping a heavy bag down the stairs you had to yell “loud noise” to warn everyone that the noise was coming and planned

If you made a loud noise unplanned you had to yell “I’m OK” so no one came running or did come running I’d you were NOT ok. Side note this rule was created when grandpa dropped a toilet on his finger.

LeopardSpotDesign , Anna Tarazevich Report

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Sue Denham
Sue Denham
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

". . . when grandpa dropped a toilet on his finger,". I feel there is a story here.

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#27

If the cat stretches or yawns, you must say “ohhh big stretch/yawn”.

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#28

I don’t allow anyone, family or friends to wash dishes if I invite them to dinner. Best believe it’s because I’m gonna not wash a thing at their homes. Too many times the women are cleaning up while the men hang out.

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Boo
Boo
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2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to host a big family Xmas dinner. I would cook everything. The first year, after dinner I went to do dishes (by hand as we don't have a dishwasher and the kitchen was a bomb site lol) and clean up, my hubs and father-in-law got to the kitchen first and shoo'ed me out and did it. Every year after, it was always the same....."you spent the time cooking and baking, we clean up". RIP Bob, we miss you xx

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#29

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) When removing eggs from the carton, all remaining eggs must be arranged symmetrically. A pattern is preferred.

chachfinley , Leeloo The First Report

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David
David
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Picture is wrong. Arrange the eggs in the middle of the container. It's not 'cuz OCD'. It's because leaving them at one end makes the weight off balance. I've seen folks drop the carton because it surprised them all the weight was on one end and they were not holding on tight enough.

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#30

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) For us, the dog gets greeted before any human. no exceptions.

Inevitable_Kick_5014 , Samson Katt Report

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Daya Meyer
Daya Meyer
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, the dog is faster than anyone wiggling through legs and feet so the right to be greeted first is well earned.

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#31

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) When you’re sitting down and you’ve misplaced something small (phone, remote control, etc.) you must get up and check under your butt before asking anyone else if they’ve seen the thing.

raccoonhippopotamus , Steve Johnson Report

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#32

You have to choose the topic of your fortune cookie before you read it. "this is about my new job" many a big life decision has been made this way.

Inside spiders are named Franklin. Outside spiders are named Fronklin. They are all good boys.

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Laugh or not
Laugh or not
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Spiders are named Linda. Except the ones in the bedroom. Those ones are called suicidal.

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#33

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) No big light.

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#34

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) So growing up, there were the “better” seats in the living room. And if you had one, and got up, someone would likely grab it. So my siblings and I used to do this thing where we would say “X Save” and even draw out the imaginary X on the seat. But one day my brother pretended he had a fake eraser and erased the fake X. And took the comfy seat. So now we say, “X Save No Erase.” And til this day, it’s just very natural thing to do/say, when we are together

It has also passed on to the youngest generation. But oddly, we only do it at my moms house. And we have longtime friends who even do it when they come over. I know it is funny, especially to outsiders. But it seems just so natural to all of us now that we hardly even notice we do it.

Here we are, we’ll into adulthood. And on holidays, we are watching like hawks to see if someone gets up and forgets to say it. Which rarely happens. And there are plenty of seats. At this point, it’s more of a game.

Traditional_Age_6299 , Julia M Cameron Report

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Jay C.
Jay C.
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to always call out "Fives" which meant that seat was reserved for 5 minutes, after which it could be taken. you needed to call it before standing up and always needed to make sure you had witnesses because someone would always claim "I didn't hear it!"

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#35

REPLENISH!! Chilled drinks- if you take the last of a drink category from the fridge (soda, beer, snapple, sparking water), you must add more. Demonstrate courtesy for those who come after you.

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Papa
Papa
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why not add more when there are several left? That way there is always a cold one available.

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#36

Pet the bunny and give him a treat before you proceed.

Its his rule actually. He's very old so I let him go.

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#37

If you fail to check for toilet paper before sitting down to number two, I will get it for you, but it will be thrown through the door as hard as humanly possible. Multiple rolls, Ideally at your head.

My kids now do this to each other too. I smile inside every time I hear screams from the toilet downstairs.

I hope it becomes a tradition handed down over many generations.

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#38

The dog gets a seat at the table. After my grandad died, it was hard to see it empty. She saw her chance and took it, and now it’s officially her seat.

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#39

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) In our household, the unwritten rule is that you must perform a full interpretive dance routine to earn the right to use the TV remote. It keeps the peace and provides nightly entertainment.

Purplepunkkk , RDNE Stock project Report

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#40

If your turning on a light in a dark room that has an inhabitant you say “1 2 3 bright light” so the person can cover their eyes or prepare for the shock of light.

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Spidercat
Spidercat
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a comment on this post specifically but can I just say that the proliferation of 'Your' when the intended meaning is 'You're' has become so problematic, I'm starting to think it's a plot to destroy the English language.

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#41

If there is a fresh cardboard box on the house, one of the cats can claim it, like targaeryans claiming dragons.

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Cat Chat
Cat Chat
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

CatCat and my youngest fight each other for every Amazon box. She likes to do crafts with them. Sometimes it's all out war.

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#42

If anyone arrives home from an evening out later than they said they would, that person has to come in bearing snacks.

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Doozle bug
Doozle bug
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep the noise down if you are coming home with company. Leave the porch light on if your roomies are out at night.

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#43

Cooks don’t clean.

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Papa
Papa
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don't do this at my house. I like to clean as I go, but the kitchen looks like a war zone after my wife makes a sandwich.

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#44

If you are doing the ironing, control of the tv remote is yours for the duration. Watch whatever you want.

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Sarah
Sarah
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2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my house we're not allowed to purchase anything that needs ironing, dry cleaning, hand washing, or laying flat to drying.

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#45

If you take the last piece of food you have to wash the dish. This has left my brother to leaving 1 blueberry in the bowl, half a slice of pizza crust, and many more war crime activity .

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arthbach
arthbach
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2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother tried this, and was roundly castigated by my Mam. He learned very quickly not to be an arsé.

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#46

No trash goes in the bathroom trash can. That is, just tissues or wrappers q tips and such. No big stuff like packages, food, anything wet or sticky.

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#47

If one of the toddlers asks for knuckles (fist bump), you give knuckles.

We rinse sauces/dips off of the plate before setting it in the sink

If you see something on the floor pick it up and throw it away or put it where it goes

Mom (me) will not go into the children’s bedrooms to retrieve laundry. If you are big enough to dress yourself, you are big enough to make sure it goes into the hamper. If it is not in the hamper before bed it will not get washed that day.

hotmama1230 Report

Final score:
43points
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#48

If you go poop in the toilet, the toilet seat and lid must be closed before you flush.

ziplocholmes Report

Final score:
37points
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#49

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) Winner of a board game is charged with putting said game away.

cszack4_ , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
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#50

“What’s An Unwritten Rule In Your Household That Would Seem Bizarre To Outsiders?” (50 Answers) If an item in the kitchen has not been opened, YOU MAY NOT OPEN THAT ITEM. Only the person who purchase the milk, Oreos, pasta, cheese, &c may open the item. So ingrained to us as adults I am immediately alarmed seeing someone open things they did not purchase, and born out of years of my folks carefully crafting grocery lists and planning meals only to find the chips for nachos night have long since gone stale, the cream for potato soup is gone, and our lasagna will be mozzerellaless courtesy of the no-mercy children snacks.

Edit to add: once an item has been opened, it is now deemed to have served its purpose and is fair game to all.

brose_af , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
33points
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