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Sometimes our brains just stop functioning and we do some seriously bizarre stuff. Probably all of us have heard of or experienced 'brain farts' or 'brain.exe stopped working,' and the results of the phenomena are usually pretty strange and hilarious. That is why after this Redditor asked: "What is the most bizarre thing you've caught yourself doing after your brain's autopilot misfired?" it resulted in some amazing and engaging stories.
People shared loads of amazing examples about this topic, from leaving things in the fridge, to getting ready for high school when they're all grown up. Do you have any brain farts to share? Please do so in the comment section below! And if you're interested in more of this type of content click here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Cup of coffee in left hand, phone in the right hand. Go to my room, take a sip of my phone and throw coffee on the bed.
We talked to Dr. Gleb Tsipursky about this topic and he gave some amazing insights: "Researchers have discovered that we have, roughly speaking, two systems that determine our mental processes: the 'autopilot system' and 'intentional system.' The autopilot system corresponds to our emotions and intuitions. This system evolved to help us survive in the ancestral savanna environment and mostly relies on the amygdala, the older part of the brain. It guides our daily habits, helps us make snap decisions, and reacts instantly to dangerous life-and-death situations. The snap judgments resulting from intuitions and emotions usually feel 'true' and 'right' precisely because they are fast and powerful. We feel very comfortable when we go with them. Decisions arising from our gut reactions are indeed often right in those situations that resemble the ancient savanna."
#2
Turned around and went back home because I forgot my car keys.
I was driving.
#3
I used to work at McDonald's drive-thru. 5 days a week, 8hrs a day; so I had been hard-wired to say, "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I help you today?" Every single time I heard the headset beep. Straight-up Pavlovian.
One day there was a particularly wily fly that was always just a second ahead of me. I became very focused on killing this fly.
I don't know how many times I said it before a coworker finally stopped laughing long enough to tell me, but it turns out I'd been saying "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I kill you today?" To every car in the drive-thru.
Not one customer even paused or acknowledged the fact that Ronald McDonald threatened them with murder. They just wanted their goddamn nuggets.
However, Dr. Gleb shared that the 'autopilot' isn't really necessary anymore: "Unfortunately, in too many cases they’re wrong. Our modern environments have many elements that are unlike the savanna. With growing technological disruption, ranging from teleconferences to social media, our modern world looks less and less like our ancestral environment. The autopilot system will therefore increasingly lead us to make disastrous decisions, in systematic and predictable ways, which are called cognitive biases."
#4
I sat there at an intersection in suburban Palo Alto at 11PM, patiently waiting for the stop sign to change.
Kate Haslam 1 year ago
Drunk drivers will run through a stop sign; stoned drivers wait for it to turn green.
unfilteredCigarette73 1 year ago (edited)
Well we kinda wait for everything to turn green...also please don't drive if you're high as the space station
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Full of Giggles 1 year ago
I’ve done something similar. I was stopped at a stop sign and my eye caught the traffic light a few blocks ahead. I waited for it to turn green. I didn’t realize my error until a police officer tapped on my window to ask why I wasn’t moving.
AVGucky 1 year ago
Oopsie! Hope police was nice. I'm taking good care of my drivers license as I'm disabled and caring for three rescued kitties and couldn't carry the tons of food they want or cat litter without having my own car! Never driving when I shouldn't! But stupiding while driving though: waiting for the garage door to open, but it's not electric. After waiting for the green light, staring at it instead of driving until the green is gone again (Nobody behind me who would honk me to the moon). Best fails are to suddenly forgetting how to windshield wipers, how to gear shift, how to winker, how to handbrake (put and release), how to fuel tank cap, or which foot to use to brake! After doing all this automatically since almost 28 years!
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Auntriarch 1 year ago
I did nearly drive through a red light because a new supermarket had just been opened on the intersection and it's logo was the same green as a go light. I don't know if anyone else did, but within the fortnight, they had moved the logo away from the corner near the lights
sturmwesen 1 year ago
I once waited at a blinking yellow light - if they blink it means they wont turn green or red but you have to watch out and drive if it's free
Sto Cristian 1 year ago
I once ran a red leaving my gf place at 3 am. It was a rail crossing with two matching lights on both sides and kind of forgot about the first.
Jamie 1 year ago
I stopped at a red light, looked both ways and went through. I'd just come from downtown where there were tons of stop signs, so it was pure autopilot. Bad part is the car behind me did the same thing and got t-boned. I still feel guilty, even though it's been 20 years.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Or like I did. At night when coming home from work, flashing red starts at 1000. When I get out earlier, functioning signal. YUP! clear traffic, went through a functioning signal. Got a block away before it dawned on me.
Ansel Carr 1 year ago
Do you need to go to Starbucks buuuut if you want the stop sign to turn green PAINT IT
Whitey Black 1 year ago
Were you at Rudys Pub on University Ave shortly before doing this? I certainly hope not....
Bob La Capra 1 year ago
While out on a walk I often see cars stop at intersections with no lights or signs
Pensive_Panda 1 year ago
Driver's are supposed to do this for safety reasons
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#5
When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep. So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat's bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.
Dr. Gleb explains the intentional system in our brains that contrasts the autopilot: "The intentional system, by contrast, reflects rational and analytical thinking. It centers around the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that evolved more recently. This thinking system helps us handle more complex mental activities, such as managing individual and group relationships, logical reasoning, abstract thinking, evaluating probabilities, and learning new information, skills, and habits. While the automatic system requires no conscious effort to function, using the intentional system requires a deliberate effort to and is mentally tiring. Fortunately, with enough motivation and appropriate training, you can learn to turn on the intentional system in situations where the autopilot system is prone to make systematic and predictable errors."
#6
As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.
My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"
BoredPanther 1 year ago
"One side of nuggets pls" "that’ll be $4.99” “Ok now say the blessing pls” “Welcome to McDonald’s. How can I kill you today?"
#7
I took the metro home then realized i drove to work.. that was a long night.
John Olpenda 1 year ago
hahahaha same! I went home commuting late at night even though I used my motorcycle at morning going for work.
"We tend to think of ourselves as rational thinkers, usually using the intentional system. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The autopilot system is by far the more powerful of the two systems, determining 80-90 percent of what we do, think, feel, and decide. Our emotions often overwhelm our reason. Moreover, our intuition and habits dominate the majority of our lives. We’re usually in autopilot mode. That’s not a bad thing at all, as it would be mentally exhausting to think through our every action and decision. However, it’s bad when this system makes the same errors, again and again. Fortunately, you can use your intentional system to interrupt these errors. You can change your automatic thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns to avoid mental blind spots."
#8
I made the best ever chicken stock, lovingly simmered for 24 hours. Then, without thinking, I put the colander in the sink and tipped the stock down the drain, saving the scraps. I cried.
all 4 paws 1 year ago
I would cry too, although i cry over more things than i should. "No use crying over spilled milk" BUT WHAT IF IT SPILLS ON MY LAPTOP
#9
Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.
I high-fived him.
Turns out he was hailing a taxi.
All in all, both of these parts of our brain are quite important: "It’s crucial to recognize that these two systems of thinking are counterintuitive. They don’t align with our conscious self-perception. Your mind feels like a cohesive whole. Unfortunately, this self-perception is simply a comfortable myth that helps you make it through the day. There is no actual 'there' there; your sense of self is a construct that results from multiple complex mental processes within the autopilot and intentional system. When I first found that out, it blew my mind (every part of it). It takes a bit of time to incorporate this realization into your mental model of yourself and others, in other words, how you perceive your mind to work. Bottom line is that you’re not who you think you are."
#10
1. Unwrap candy.
2. Throw candy in trash
3. Stare at wrapper
#11
I woke up from a deep sleep having the feeling that there was an earthquake going on so naturally I call to my wife who I realized was in the living room reading and asked her if everything was okay and she asked why? I said there was just an earthquake is everything okay she said no you just farted in your sleep and woke yourself up. I went back to bed....
We also spoke to Instagram account Psychology Facts (we made an article about them which you can check out by clicking here) and they also shared their insights on this topic: "The human brain's autopilot system, also known as the default mode network, can sometimes lead to bizarre or unexpected behavior. The default mode network is a group of brain regions that are active when an individual is not focused on a specific task. It is thought to play a role in self-reflection, planning, and daydreaming. When the default mode network is active, an individual may find themselves engaging in behaviors that seem unusual or unexpected to others, as their brain is not fully focused on the present moment."
#12
I dropped my pants when going through TSA....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane...
I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual. Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants.....uhhh Nope damnit. Put them back on and WTFed for a moment as I finished up in security. Luckily not *that many* people fly at like 430am.
Jodi Rinker 1 year ago
I bet if you'd just kept going, real casual and folded them up and just continued in your underwear, somebody would've potentially followed suit thinking security has just updated to be stricter yet again
#13
Tapped a picture in the newspaper hoping to see the full article. Took me a good 5 seconds to realize where I messed up.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
I once clicked a video pause button… in a damn photo in a book
"For example, someone might find themselves absentmindedly walking into a room and forgetting why they went there, or getting lost in thought while driving and missing their turn. These behaviors can be a result of the brain's autopilot system misfiring, as the individual's attention is not fully on the task at hand."
#14
Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.
The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "F**k, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.
BOTW PANDA 1 year ago
Once my brother put his shampoo on his shower towel, then proceeded to shower, without washing his dusty hair, and it was hilarious. Came out smelling for all he's worth like shampoo.
#15
Drove to work and realized when I got to the parking lot that I forgot to drop the kids at school. The kids knew too and stayed quiet thinking they'd get to miss school. Love those sneaky little devils.
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
A bit like the woman who left her toddler in the car instead of dropping her off at daycare and didn't realise it until she heard a little voice say "Yay I get to go to work with Mommy!" (She realised how badly it could have ended if the kid hadn't spoken up, and sensibly took it as a warning to take some time off and get more sleep).
They also shared their own personal experience with autopilot: "The most bizarre thing I’ve caught myself doing after my brain’s autopilot misfired was when I was still in high school. I was in a classroom and everyone was dead silent because we were working on our homework, and most of us wore earbuds and listened to music while working. I remember listening to 'Black and Yellow' from Wiz Khalifa, which I apparently found an incredible song as a 12-year-old, because I remember that out of nowhere, I started singing along loud and clear with the chorus. I did this for around 5 seconds before I noticed everyone was staring at me, and I should probably stop distracting the rest of the class."
#16
Night before last, I went to the back yard to bring the dog into the house. Autopilot moved my feet 10 or so steps out the door, telling the "dog" to come in. My brain then caught up and remembered the dog was in bed and I was indeed approaching a black bear that was eating watermelon rinds from the trash can.
#17
I had a very long day of computer drafting, think +12 hours sitting and staring at .5mm lines, and got really lost so I asked the person next to me what the hell I did wrong because they seemed like they would absolutely have the explanation. I got most of the way through the answer before I realized not only had I asked my frazzled reflection a question, but I also calmly and matter-of-factly responded. I went home after that.
"It's important to note that the default mode network serves important functions in the brain, and it is not always a negative thing when it is active. The human brain's autopilot system serves a number of important functions in the brain that help to support mental health and well-being. It allows individuals to take a break from the demands of the outside world and engage in activities that support self-reflection, planning, and creativity. While the default mode network can sometimes lead to unexpected or bizarre behavior when it causes an individual to become disengaged from their surroundings, it serves important functions in the brain and is not always a negative thing when it is active."
#18
The two that come to mind are while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.
The other one happened the other day. Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the middle of my shift and I hadn't left to go home, but just go buy a drink.
Purplescales 1 year ago
That second one is my nightmare, when I am home, there is no leaving for work until the next day.
#19
Once I was laying in bed very tired watching tv. All the characters on the show piled into a car together, and I thought for a second "s**t I forgot to put my seatbelt on" before realizing I was safely in bed and no where near a car.
BoredPanther 1 year ago
HAHAHAHA dude its1:30 an and Im trying to laugh quietly so I don’t wake up everyone else
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#20
I was playing guitar and reached to grab a cracker, then I ate my pick.
#21
Jumped out of bed frantically. Put my clothes on. Brushed all the s**t on my floor under my bed..paused. And realised its 3am in the morning and I don't have school. I'm 23.
#22
My sister had a brain fart and left the water running in the kitchen.
I went to turn it off, and flipped the kitchen light switch. Repeatedly. Then started cussing when the switch wouldn't cut the water off. Then got my tool box and started taking the faceplate off the light switch so I could see why it wasn't cutting the water off.
At that point my other sister, who witnessed all of this, kindly pointed out that I had lost my ever loving mind and cut the water off herself.
#23
When I was around 13 or 14 I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room, and thought to myself: I need to go home before my parents realize I'm not home. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I had been in my own room and just thought what the hell am I doing. So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird
#24
After an 8 hour day of cashiering at Target(which has so many robotic-small talk conversations), I stopped at the dollar store. The conversation went something like:
Cashier: Hi, how are you?
Me: Good, how are you?
Cashier: I'm good, thanks.
Me: That's good. Did you find everything okay today?
That conversation was had to the effect of everyone in line and the cashier looking at me like I was psycho.
edit: I'm glad I'm not the only one who's done awk things on cashier autopilot! And thanks for the gold! <3
#25
I once got my car impounded via brain-autopilot.
I lived across the street from a gas station and didn't drive very often. Once I was filling it up, went inside to buy something, forgot I was getting gas, and walked home.
A few days later I reported my car stolen since I couldn't find it in the apartment garage. About a month later I get a call from the police, saying my car had gone up for auction and only then was it discovered it had been reported stolen. I had to pay about $1500 in impound fees to get it back.
Definitely one of the dumbest things I've ever done.
Roland Nijveld 1 year ago
Don't they try and contact the owners of the car first before they auction it?
#26
There was a 6.0 earthquake at about 3 am so i was asleep. The quake lasted 20 seconds and I woke up about 16 seconds in standing in the hallway hugging a vase. What the f**k.
Ambitious Potato 1 year ago
NOT THE VASE! YOU MAY TAKE MY OTHER BELONGINGS, O FURIOUS AND MIGHTY EARTHQUAKE, BUT NOT MY VASE
#27
The night before my very first day at work where I have to bring my own lunch. I got all the ingredients out to make my sandwich for tomorrow and immediately after I made it I walked into the living room turned on the tv and ate it.
#28
Tried to turn the sun off.
Bad hangover, opened my back door, feeling for the light switch.
No light switch, the light was day.
#29
Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you.
Today though... I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of "hey what can I get you... here's your total... do you want a receipt?" and so I lean over the counter like a drunk, lock my sleep-starved, unfocused googly eyes on this poor lady, and blurt out-
"your dog. Who is he" and then expectantly stare at her like that was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kinda vomited at her. She kinda stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said but it was definitely not an improvement on the situation. It may not have even been a coherent sentence.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
Sleep deprivation does wonderfully disastrous things to people
#30
Let's just say that now whenever I'm looking for my phone, the first thing I check is to see if it's currently in my hands.
#31
I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just plopped it in the toilet.
#32
Walked into the bathroom at work to pee, and instead of unzipping my fly, I unbuttoned my dress shirt, took it off, then took off my white undershirt as well. Then realized I was standing shirtless at a urinal and wtf'd.
#33
Put cat food in the coffee maker. 10/10 would not recommend.
all 4 paws 1 year ago
I am curious- did the cat enjoy it?? You did give it to the cat... right???
#34
Trying to get into a random person's car because I thought it was my friend's. The person whose car I was attempting to break into was very terrified.
BoredPanther 1 year ago
dude. I would’ve been terrified if some weirdo started trying to get into my car
#35
Grabbed milk from the fridge
Grabbed a dinner plate from the cupboard
Began tilting the gallon jug toward the dish
Was about to pour myself a plate of milk when my mom walks by and asks what the f**k I'm doing
#36
Applying deodorant on my armpit with my shirt still on.
#37
I was trimming a raw chicken breast and saw a spider in my kitchen. I screamed and immediately threw the chicken breast at the spider and embedded it in the meat. Whoops.
Edit: to those asking if I ate the chicken breast afterwards: I forgot to mention that the spider was on the floor.
#38
I picked up my toothbrush to brush my teeth but I also had the urge to p**s, so I obviously toss my toothbrush into the toilet.
#39
Swished my mouthwash for a solid 30 seconds and then just spit it on the floor where I was standing.
#40
I tried to mail my buddy a check, and it had been a while since I mailed anything. Long enough to forget how mail works apparently. What I did was I wrote my name and address in the center, and his name in the upper left hand corner. The letter then got returned to me. But still, my first thought wasn't, whoops, I failed at mailing this check. Instead it was, well I guess this stamp is old, and the price of stamps went up. So I put another stamp on it and sent it again, to myself, again. My mailman must think I'm r******d.
#41
Drove 20 min to my old house after I moved..was just zoning out
#42
Vigorously picking my nose while holding a cigarette and driving; crammed lit cigarette up my nose.
#43
Turned up at work with the landline phone and my toddler's lunch.
#44
I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it.
#45
Painting a picture, take a drink from the paint brush water instead of my coffee.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
Done that before. 57000000/10 would not recommend. Especially if you actually *swallowed* it
#46
I was making ramen noodles and a pitcher of crystal light at the same time. Berry flavored ramen is....not good.
BOTW PANDA 1 year ago
My dad told me a story of him putting deodorant on his pizza, not recomended.
#47
I found myself taking a bath with all my clothes on.
Never told anyone. Just went back to sleep.
#48
I am currently at university and live on the fifth floor of a dormitory. All the floors are identical other than the colors of the paint on the wall. One day I was taking the elevator up to the fifth floor and I was sending a text to my mother. When I arrived at my floor a person I had never seen before got on the elevator. I consciously noted that it was weird because I knew everyone on my floor, but I walked to my room and walked in. My living room seemed slightly off and then a girl walked into the living room and casually goes, "what are you doing in my room." That's when I realized I had gotten off on an earlier floor and I just absentmindedly walked into someone else's room. Needless to say I got out of that room really fast after realizing what I had done.
#49
Leaving work, I had my hat in one hand and cell phone in the other. Something misfired and I put the cell phone on my head and hat in my pocket. There was a flashing realization that something wasn't right while standing their holding a phone to my bald spot and sporting a look of bewilderment.
I wish someone had seen it.
Joséphine Godwin-Sens 1 year ago
My mashed potato brain thought you wrote “cat” instead of hat,sat on my couch for five minutes without realizing
#50
it was 2am and way past bedtime, and I'd pulled an all nighter the previous night too. while finally clearing the table I was playing video games on, I decided to put all the water bottles away that had been out for days and days. I tossed the empty ones but my cat was being rambunctious and trying to open the trash can, so I picked her up.
I was holding my cat and putting some unfinished water bottles back in the fridge. she struggled free and hopped onto the counter but I was too tired to scold her so I continued grabbing huge amounts (6 or 7 at a time, both hands) of half-full water bottles from the counter and into the fridge
I pick them up, I put them in the fridge, I pick them up, i put them in the fridge, I pick her up. I put her in the fridge. I close the fridge. I take two minutes to finish up the dishes. I turn off the kitchen light. I hear faint mewing. I wake up. I open the fridge. she is so cold, but she is okay.
now every time I open the f*****g fridge she climbs in. sometimes I don't notice her and she's trapped for a moment until I hear mewing. and I know it's all my fault.
(edit to clarify that I don't just start new water bottles halfway thru. it's over days and days)
What do you think ?
Kim Kermes 1 year ago
I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.
RedMarbles 1 year ago
Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.
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Bernd Herbert 1 year ago
Woke up, went into the bathroom. Back then the basket for dirty laundry was in the bathroom too. Again, woke up went in there, socks and underwear from previous day in my hand. Opened the toilet lid and threw my underwear in there, thinking it was the laundry basket...
Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago
Lol...I hope you didn't then proceed to open the laundry basket thinking it was the toilet!!
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Ryan-James O'Driscoll 1 year ago
I've had a few. One time while WFH my alarm went off in the morning and I simply obeyed the alarm, got up, made tea and logged into my laptop. I worked for about half an hour, wondering where all my colleagues were, before I realised the office was closed. Another time I was hunting for my glasses, getting very frustrated that I could not see. I had become so fixated on the search, having lost any sense of what I was actually looking for, that when I found them I put them on to make the search easier. I searched for another 15 minutes before I realised the thing I was looking for was literally on my face.
AVGucky 1 year ago
My brother told me: after peeing he was desperately searching the thingy of the zipper fly, fiddling around for a good three minutes, swearing because he couldn't grab it, wondering how he's been able to open the fly at all ... until he noticed that he's wearing button fly-pants.
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BannedFromABoatShow 1 year ago
Needed a glass of water. Grabbed my cat’s pill to give to her. In the time it took to walk to the living room I realized I was holding both water and a pill so I probably needed to take it. That was an embarrassing call to poison control.
AVGucky 1 year ago
Did it harm you? Hope it didn't! You made me laugh tho 🤭 Recently I misunderstood myself when talking to myself. Confused myself and forgot what I've been talking about... Still can't think of it without starting to cry laughing 🤣 but not telling details 🫣 too embarrassed!
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Devil's Advocate 1 year ago
Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?
Gwyn 1 year ago
It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc
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Brechje Geutjes 1 year ago
I'm 37 years and since a half year I've got my drivers license. So my entire life I was the passenger, not the driver. When I finally had my own car it happened more than once, that I opened the car and took place on the passenger seat, just waiting an invisible driver will drive me home. I guess, lol.
AVGucky 1 year ago (edited)
Hahaha! Better than my friend who had the license since many years and the car too. She sat down on the backseat - puzzled because there was no steering wheel! No joke, but when she told me we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes!
Load More Replies... Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago
Went up to the cashier at CVS one time to pay for my items, and was having a little Convo with her about how I had spent like 40 minutes ripping apart my house before I left for the store trying to find my eyeglasses. I never found them which is why, I told her, that I was wearing my old, taped up, broken pair. She smiled at me and proceeded to tell me that my good, missing pair were on top of my head. Nice.
Alex Martin 1 year ago
When my company moved me to Texas to open a shop they let me use a white Chevy truck while I worked out getting my stuff shipped down from my old house. This truck had keyless entry. In south Texas, a white truck is the most common vehicle. I could never find this truck when I went shopping. I'm at Target getting stuff for work load it up and head out to the lot. Find my truck, unload the cart in to the back and climb in the truck. I'm sitting in the truck confused, trying to figure out when my windshield got cracked and why there is a baby seat in the back. Oh c**p. I quickly dismount the vehicle, get my stuff from the back of what is clearly not my truck, and gtfo of there. This is Texas and you'll get shot getting in another person's truck. My truck has keyless entry, theirs just had unlocked doors. My loaner truck now has a batman license plate frame and several company stickers on the back window.
DuchessDegu 1 year ago
Me making coffee. Put the water in the machine, turn it on. Came back a few minutes later to clear hot water in the pot. "oh you idiot, you forgot the coffee!". Empty the pot of hot water in the sink, put it back back in the machine, made absolutely sure I put the ground coffee in the filter, turn the coffee machine on. Came back after a few minutes and the pot was empty. I forgot to put the water. Got my partner to make the coffee.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
The hardest part about the morning is making the coffee.
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kath morgan 1 year ago
A couple of years ago my uncle and aunt arrived at a party, sat on the sofa made small talk etc. then my other aunt called him and asked where they were. “You said you were at the door 10 minutes ago!” They had arrived at the wrong house and crashed a neighbour’s party. The amazing thing to me is that they were let in! You just have to have the confidence of someone who really thinks they know what they are doing I guess
mcborge1 1 year ago (edited)
Back in the 90's I was in a Cantonese restaurant in Soho. It was a multi level restaurant and I went to find the toilets on the ground floor, I got to the stairs, they were split stairs (go down a few steps, turn, go down some more) and I went down the first few steps to the flat part to find someone coming towards me. I said excuse me, then stepped to the left, this other person stepped to their right, I stepped to the right, this other person stepped to their left. I looked up to make eye contact with this idiot messing with me only to realise it was me! Yes the back wall of the stairwell was mirrored, and yes other people noticed, lol. :D
Whimsical Duckling 1 year ago
When i was a kid, i woke up, wanted to wear a specific pair of green leggings, put them on, and promptly forgot that i had. I had looked all over the house for 20 min, then i asked my twin if he had seen any green leggings. He said, "um, the ones you're wearing?"
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
This one happened just the other day. I was at a certain fabric shop - the first one in the franchise to open in my area. While chatting with the cashier I said "this is so much more convenient! You know, before this outlet opened, you used to have to go all the way out to [the suburb this outlet is in, in which I'm currently standing]!"
Petra Schaap 1 year ago
thanks for the good laugh :-D I was making oatmeal, and got a glass of apple juice. Ended up pouring applejuice in my oatmeal. It was surprisingly good. Also poured applejuice into my coffee once instead of milk. Was also nice.
James016 1 year ago
Many years ago I put my dinner in the oven and set the timer as normal. Once the timer beeped, I opened the oven to find it empty. I could not figure out for the life of me what had happened as I clearly remembered putting the tray in the oven. After a few moments I went to get something from the fridge and ta da. There is my dinner. In the fridge, not in the oven
Okiedokie 1 year ago
Half of these are from people who are overworked & under-rested. Something has to be done about the hours people have to work to make even a halfway decent living :(
JMC5003 1 year ago
I was looking to see if someone would post this! For those who aren't overworked and underslept, mindfulness meditation is specifically designed to help with these types of problems. I haven't actively practiced it in years, but after my responses to these posts, I'm realizing I need to start again. It really does help with staying focused and in the moment, but nothing except rest will cure overworking and/or undersleeping.
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Oerff On Tour 1 year ago
Dutch comedian: "I woke up one morning, took a p1ss, got out of bed, and thought *this was in the wrong order*"
lauralett50 1 year ago
We of the brain fog ,brain fart society salute you. It's great to be a human, ain't it.?
Bob La Capra 1 year ago
1. Coin op laundry...took the clothes from the washer, tossed them in the dryer followed by my softener sheet and 4 quarters. 2. Couldn't find the spray cleaner because it was in the refrigerator. 3. Seemed to be running out of dinner plates. They were in the oven. 4. Holding a bag of shredded lettuce in one hand while removing lettuce with the other. Look into the bag and see a severed thumb. Then realized the bag was clear and the the thumb was mine...and still attached
Rick Seiden 1 year ago
I was standing at a urinal at work, doing my thing, and I heard the distinctive click clop of high heels. I start to panic. "Did I go into the ladies' room?" I decided to just face the wall and finish up at the urinal--that had to be in the mens' room.
Seedy Vine 1 year ago
A coworker put a plastic jug of iced tea on the coffee pot warmer where it melted and spilled all over. My dad wore my work shirt, which was from a well-known grocery store chain, to his own job. I got confused once in grade school and went home during mid-day thinking school had ended, but not before laughing and making goofy faces from the school hallway at my classmates who were still in class, because I thought they were all in detention and staying late. A family member drove to my location to pick me up and drove off without me. Having a religious background, I have genuflected in a movie theatre more than once.
Dan Flo 1 year ago (edited)
Was desperatly trying to find the button that folds the front seat so I could get out of the car. All my friends who had succeeded in getting out of the car where all standing outside watching me, untill one of them opened the rear door and asked what the heck I was doing. I had somehow forgott it was a 4-door car...
Bear Family 1 year ago
Did that too on a friend's car once. Geez man, you car is impossible to access the rear seat. Finally got seated, noticed the arm rest and door handle as found in a four door car. WTH???
Load More Replies... Just_for_this 1 year ago
I love my sleep, am a very deep sleeper and take ages to wake up. This one time as a 16yo i was working weekends with my father (plasterer). After this particularly hard day i was exhausted and crawled to my room and fell asleep on the bed. The next morning dad shouts up, I don't hear him properly and just assume its time to get up for work. i stumble into the shower and take a few to wake up. during this process dad has come up to find out where i am and I start to come round to the fact im still fully clothed, in the shower and its not actually the next morning but still the evening and he was calling me to dinner!
Fuzzy bunny feet 1 year ago
While driving I felt like my car was weaving because of the wind. It didn’t look windy so I rolled down my window and stuck my hand out to see if it the wind was blowing. It was blowing about 65 Mph
NatalieC 1 year ago
We had a litter of puppies one time and I was sooo tired. It's a 24/7 job. So I'm kind of falling asleep on the couch and I hear them start squeaking (which means time to feed them) and I absent-mindedly picked up the TV remote and tried to shut them off. Another time I drove 30 miles to work and didn't realize it was Sunday until I parked the car and wondered why the lot was empty.
--- 1 year ago
I was leaving highschool with a group of colleagues, when we passed a small kid at one of those private neighbourhood gates. I said "Good afternoon" to that kid, for no reason, and she said the same thing to me, without looking. I guess I saw her with her backpack and remembered how I used to salute teachers when I was her age
Katy Cordeth 1 year ago
Many years ago I'd been playing Super Mario 64 for three days straight. In the morning I decided I needed a break so took a walk to my local newsagents to get a paper and some provisions. As I got near an intersection a car was approaching so I broke into a run fully intending to leap into the air and somersault over it, landing safely on the opposite pavement. I came to my senses at the last millisecond, otherwise it might be a ghost posting this comment.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
I've had two. One of them I was doing dishes, putting them in the sink. I saw a cup mostly filled with juice, grumbling about what a waste it was, and rather than pour old juice down the drain, simply emptied it on my kitchen counter. I just stared at it before going to watch TV for a bit. Apparently my sleep deprived brain needed a reset.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
I had one many years ago that I cannot believe hasn't been brought up before. I woke up, walked to my door, and freaked out because the door didn't go where I thought it went. I thought I was in another house for some reason and began freaking out. My mom trying to console me through the door didn't register.... till I woke up fully and realized I had walked into my closet instead. Gratefully mom was the only one home and never told anyone that story because she must have realized it would be humiliating but she laughed so hard.
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Greg Warren 1 year ago
When I was in the Navy standing watch, at 4am a shipmate comes up to the Quarterdeck and reports "some a*****e" is sleeping in my rack. He said he told the guy to get out and was told F** off! Either I do something or he's going to get a beating. I wake up the Duty Master at Arms who takes along a couple of friends and they extricate the person. Turns out he's assigned to the ship across the Pier. Right berthing assignment, just wrong ship. The previous watch had just let the drunk dude aboard.
Via Hawk 1 year ago
Multiple times I’ll see a random object and think it’s an animal. One time I was so tired and didn’t catch myself and asked my professor “what? Why do you have a duck? Is that for an experiment?” It was a scarf. He was carrying a scarf to the lost and found. He looks at me and says “do you need stronger glasses or something?”
Bear Family 1 year ago
Was working huge hours and sleeping about four or so hours a night. Woke up before my alarm one night. Switched it off, dressed, bathroom/shave, bowl of cereal and drove over to pickup my friend who carpooled with me. Friends' house was very dark, as we're all the houses. Hardly any traffic. Switched on the radio and realized not only was I three hours early it was also a day off. Drove home and went to bed. Bought a watch that day....
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
I have the day off from work today so I went to brunch with my cousins. After leaving the restaurant, I drove to work. Once I got there, I sat in the parking lot wondering why sonething seemed off before I realized I should have gone home instead. Btw, this brunch involved no drinking!
Ivo H 1 year ago
I have one good one. A year back, when my sons were young enough they needed formula during night, I woke up veeeeery badly, went to the kitchen, warmed up a water and suddenly the water was gone. Formula was prepared in bottle, but the I just couldn't find the water... Angrily I heated up new water, finished the formula, gave it to my wife and went back to sleep. In the morning I found out what happened. I just poured the water right into (newly opened) package of formula. It cost me $20.
Monday 1 year ago
These always remind me of the time I caught myself about to squeeze toothpaste onto my razor with the intent of brushing my teeth....
pineapple87 1 year ago
I was once making myself toast for breakfast. When the toaster pops, I stare blankly at the empty toaster for a while before realizing that I hadn't actually put bread in.
Shelby Jackson 1 year ago
A few years ago I worked for a bank branch and went to work. Waited for an hour and non of my coworkers show up. Text my manager asking if anyone was coming in. He said "dude it's Sunday". He was the best boss.
Whitey Black 1 year ago
I once was using voice-to-text while driving. In the middle of the text I sent to a girl I had just met it read: "pick a lane you stupid twat!"
CosmcCookie 1 year ago
I'm sitting at my desk reading this on my tablet that's leaned against my monitor and tried scrolling with my mouse
Candi Cabaniss 1 year ago
I am a teacher. One morning I was trying to get into my classroom, mentally cussing because the door would not work. Then I realized that instead of using my class' key I was pressing the unlock button on my vehicle's key.
That guy Nic B. 1 year ago
I was making lunch while watching studio c and I put my food in the fridge instead of the microwave
Elisa 1 year ago
When I was in 3rd grade, I sat in the front left corner of the room, returning from recess I walked into the wrong classroom and I was confused to why all the kids from the other class were in my classroom because they both looked the same. I walked to the front left corner desk and sat down the girl who was meant to be sitting there came in just after and asked why i was sitting in her seat and to please get out of her seat. I said it was my seat and then it clicked. I apologized left. When I was about ten my mums car crashed and we had to rent one for about a week. So we rode that car somewhere and parked in a parking lot. When we were coming back there were three cars that looked similar to it all next to each other. tried to open the wrong car's door I was like OH NO and ran to the next car and which I thought was the rental, but it wasn't so panicking, I ran to the next car and luckily that one was the right car but I got it wrong twice lol.
Elisa 1 year ago
Oh also one time my brother ate a bunny poop thinking it was a raisin
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HistoryLover 1 year ago
I almost took a drink of my valve oil once. Thank god for child safety locks or I would be dead(for non brass instrument players, valve oil is dangerous if ingested and can be fatal). Here’s the whole story. I had my Pepsi bottle right next to my valve oil when I was practicing baritone. I put the oil bottle to my mouth, WITH THE LID ON, and realized nothing was coming out, so I proceeded to try and take the lid off. I do this occasionally with my drinks where I forget to take the lid off first, so that didn’t faze me, but I was really confused why it was suddenly so hard to open my Pepsi. It wasn’t until I looked down at my hand that I realized I just tried to poison myself. Shout out to the inventor of child safety locks. They protect adults sometimes too.
Kar Red Roses 1 year ago
This is why I habitually look _both_ ways before crossing a *one way* street… 😅 we could all maybe use some more sleep to help with our focus
ObsidianAce_ 1 year ago
My dog had passed away recently, and I hadn’t quite gotten used to it yet- I dropped a piece of ham on the floor making a sandwich. I shouted “cleanup!” Expecting to hear a dog rush down the stairs and come eat it. I wander off looking for him, because he *always* comes for cleanup. My mother comes in to find a half made sandwich and a piece of ham on the floor.
MadamGreenIce 1 year ago
Once I went to a public toilet in a mall. Entered one cubicle and noticed the seat was up but didn't think much of it. I did my business and got out only to find urinals attached to the wall. My shortcircuit brain had lead me to gents toilet (I'm a woman).
Danni 1 year ago
I had some xmas icicles outside my house. one evening, they were tapping on the window in the wind, so my half asleep brain, got up, turned them off at the plug, then came back into the room, asking my partner why they were still making the noise when i had turned them off. i got laughed at a lot that evening!!
Michael P. 1 year ago
I can be absent-minded sometimes so I have my moments. From walking into a room to get something and then wondering why I went into this room as soon as I enter to burning frozen pizzas because I forgot that I had put something in the toaster oven.
(Un)Inspired Aspiring Author 1 year ago
I love these kinds of posts! They always have my laughing until I cry
Kim Kermes 1 year ago
I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.
RedMarbles 1 year ago
Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.
Load More Replies... Bernd Herbert 1 year ago
Woke up, went into the bathroom. Back then the basket for dirty laundry was in the bathroom too. Again, woke up went in there, socks and underwear from previous day in my hand. Opened the toilet lid and threw my underwear in there, thinking it was the laundry basket...
Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago
Lol...I hope you didn't then proceed to open the laundry basket thinking it was the toilet!!
Load More Replies... Ryan-James O'Driscoll 1 year ago
I've had a few. One time while WFH my alarm went off in the morning and I simply obeyed the alarm, got up, made tea and logged into my laptop. I worked for about half an hour, wondering where all my colleagues were, before I realised the office was closed. Another time I was hunting for my glasses, getting very frustrated that I could not see. I had become so fixated on the search, having lost any sense of what I was actually looking for, that when I found them I put them on to make the search easier. I searched for another 15 minutes before I realised the thing I was looking for was literally on my face.
AVGucky 1 year ago
My brother told me: after peeing he was desperately searching the thingy of the zipper fly, fiddling around for a good three minutes, swearing because he couldn't grab it, wondering how he's been able to open the fly at all ... until he noticed that he's wearing button fly-pants.
Load More Replies... BannedFromABoatShow 1 year ago
Needed a glass of water. Grabbed my cat’s pill to give to her. In the time it took to walk to the living room I realized I was holding both water and a pill so I probably needed to take it. That was an embarrassing call to poison control.
AVGucky 1 year ago
Did it harm you? Hope it didn't! You made me laugh tho 🤭 Recently I misunderstood myself when talking to myself. Confused myself and forgot what I've been talking about... Still can't think of it without starting to cry laughing 🤣 but not telling details 🫣 too embarrassed!
Load More Replies... Devil's Advocate 1 year ago
Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?
Gwyn 1 year ago
It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc
Load More Replies... Brechje Geutjes 1 year ago
I'm 37 years and since a half year I've got my drivers license. So my entire life I was the passenger, not the driver. When I finally had my own car it happened more than once, that I opened the car and took place on the passenger seat, just waiting an invisible driver will drive me home. I guess, lol.
AVGucky 1 year ago (edited)
Hahaha! Better than my friend who had the license since many years and the car too. She sat down on the backseat - puzzled because there was no steering wheel! No joke, but when she told me we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes!
Load More Replies... Julie Ann Al buzbeba 1 year ago
Went up to the cashier at CVS one time to pay for my items, and was having a little Convo with her about how I had spent like 40 minutes ripping apart my house before I left for the store trying to find my eyeglasses. I never found them which is why, I told her, that I was wearing my old, taped up, broken pair. She smiled at me and proceeded to tell me that my good, missing pair were on top of my head. Nice.
Alex Martin 1 year ago
When my company moved me to Texas to open a shop they let me use a white Chevy truck while I worked out getting my stuff shipped down from my old house. This truck had keyless entry. In south Texas, a white truck is the most common vehicle. I could never find this truck when I went shopping. I'm at Target getting stuff for work load it up and head out to the lot. Find my truck, unload the cart in to the back and climb in the truck. I'm sitting in the truck confused, trying to figure out when my windshield got cracked and why there is a baby seat in the back. Oh c**p. I quickly dismount the vehicle, get my stuff from the back of what is clearly not my truck, and gtfo of there. This is Texas and you'll get shot getting in another person's truck. My truck has keyless entry, theirs just had unlocked doors. My loaner truck now has a batman license plate frame and several company stickers on the back window.
DuchessDegu 1 year ago
Me making coffee. Put the water in the machine, turn it on. Came back a few minutes later to clear hot water in the pot. "oh you idiot, you forgot the coffee!". Empty the pot of hot water in the sink, put it back back in the machine, made absolutely sure I put the ground coffee in the filter, turn the coffee machine on. Came back after a few minutes and the pot was empty. I forgot to put the water. Got my partner to make the coffee.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
The hardest part about the morning is making the coffee.
Load More Replies... kath morgan 1 year ago
A couple of years ago my uncle and aunt arrived at a party, sat on the sofa made small talk etc. then my other aunt called him and asked where they were. “You said you were at the door 10 minutes ago!” They had arrived at the wrong house and crashed a neighbour’s party. The amazing thing to me is that they were let in! You just have to have the confidence of someone who really thinks they know what they are doing I guess
mcborge1 1 year ago (edited)
Back in the 90's I was in a Cantonese restaurant in Soho. It was a multi level restaurant and I went to find the toilets on the ground floor, I got to the stairs, they were split stairs (go down a few steps, turn, go down some more) and I went down the first few steps to the flat part to find someone coming towards me. I said excuse me, then stepped to the left, this other person stepped to their right, I stepped to the right, this other person stepped to their left. I looked up to make eye contact with this idiot messing with me only to realise it was me! Yes the back wall of the stairwell was mirrored, and yes other people noticed, lol. :D
Whimsical Duckling 1 year ago
When i was a kid, i woke up, wanted to wear a specific pair of green leggings, put them on, and promptly forgot that i had. I had looked all over the house for 20 min, then i asked my twin if he had seen any green leggings. He said, "um, the ones you're wearing?"
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
This one happened just the other day. I was at a certain fabric shop - the first one in the franchise to open in my area. While chatting with the cashier I said "this is so much more convenient! You know, before this outlet opened, you used to have to go all the way out to [the suburb this outlet is in, in which I'm currently standing]!"
Petra Schaap 1 year ago
thanks for the good laugh :-D I was making oatmeal, and got a glass of apple juice. Ended up pouring applejuice in my oatmeal. It was surprisingly good. Also poured applejuice into my coffee once instead of milk. Was also nice.
James016 1 year ago
Many years ago I put my dinner in the oven and set the timer as normal. Once the timer beeped, I opened the oven to find it empty. I could not figure out for the life of me what had happened as I clearly remembered putting the tray in the oven. After a few moments I went to get something from the fridge and ta da. There is my dinner. In the fridge, not in the oven
Okiedokie 1 year ago
Half of these are from people who are overworked & under-rested. Something has to be done about the hours people have to work to make even a halfway decent living :(
JMC5003 1 year ago
I was looking to see if someone would post this! For those who aren't overworked and underslept, mindfulness meditation is specifically designed to help with these types of problems. I haven't actively practiced it in years, but after my responses to these posts, I'm realizing I need to start again. It really does help with staying focused and in the moment, but nothing except rest will cure overworking and/or undersleeping.
Load More Replies... Oerff On Tour 1 year ago
Dutch comedian: "I woke up one morning, took a p1ss, got out of bed, and thought *this was in the wrong order*"
lauralett50 1 year ago
We of the brain fog ,brain fart society salute you. It's great to be a human, ain't it.?
Bob La Capra 1 year ago
1. Coin op laundry...took the clothes from the washer, tossed them in the dryer followed by my softener sheet and 4 quarters. 2. Couldn't find the spray cleaner because it was in the refrigerator. 3. Seemed to be running out of dinner plates. They were in the oven. 4. Holding a bag of shredded lettuce in one hand while removing lettuce with the other. Look into the bag and see a severed thumb. Then realized the bag was clear and the the thumb was mine...and still attached
Rick Seiden 1 year ago
I was standing at a urinal at work, doing my thing, and I heard the distinctive click clop of high heels. I start to panic. "Did I go into the ladies' room?" I decided to just face the wall and finish up at the urinal--that had to be in the mens' room.
Seedy Vine 1 year ago
A coworker put a plastic jug of iced tea on the coffee pot warmer where it melted and spilled all over. My dad wore my work shirt, which was from a well-known grocery store chain, to his own job. I got confused once in grade school and went home during mid-day thinking school had ended, but not before laughing and making goofy faces from the school hallway at my classmates who were still in class, because I thought they were all in detention and staying late. A family member drove to my location to pick me up and drove off without me. Having a religious background, I have genuflected in a movie theatre more than once.
Dan Flo 1 year ago (edited)
Was desperatly trying to find the button that folds the front seat so I could get out of the car. All my friends who had succeeded in getting out of the car where all standing outside watching me, untill one of them opened the rear door and asked what the heck I was doing. I had somehow forgott it was a 4-door car...
Bear Family 1 year ago
Did that too on a friend's car once. Geez man, you car is impossible to access the rear seat. Finally got seated, noticed the arm rest and door handle as found in a four door car. WTH???
Load More Replies... Just_for_this 1 year ago
I love my sleep, am a very deep sleeper and take ages to wake up. This one time as a 16yo i was working weekends with my father (plasterer). After this particularly hard day i was exhausted and crawled to my room and fell asleep on the bed. The next morning dad shouts up, I don't hear him properly and just assume its time to get up for work. i stumble into the shower and take a few to wake up. during this process dad has come up to find out where i am and I start to come round to the fact im still fully clothed, in the shower and its not actually the next morning but still the evening and he was calling me to dinner!
Fuzzy bunny feet 1 year ago
While driving I felt like my car was weaving because of the wind. It didn’t look windy so I rolled down my window and stuck my hand out to see if it the wind was blowing. It was blowing about 65 Mph
NatalieC 1 year ago
We had a litter of puppies one time and I was sooo tired. It's a 24/7 job. So I'm kind of falling asleep on the couch and I hear them start squeaking (which means time to feed them) and I absent-mindedly picked up the TV remote and tried to shut them off. Another time I drove 30 miles to work and didn't realize it was Sunday until I parked the car and wondered why the lot was empty.
--- 1 year ago
I was leaving highschool with a group of colleagues, when we passed a small kid at one of those private neighbourhood gates. I said "Good afternoon" to that kid, for no reason, and she said the same thing to me, without looking. I guess I saw her with her backpack and remembered how I used to salute teachers when I was her age
Katy Cordeth 1 year ago
Many years ago I'd been playing Super Mario 64 for three days straight. In the morning I decided I needed a break so took a walk to my local newsagents to get a paper and some provisions. As I got near an intersection a car was approaching so I broke into a run fully intending to leap into the air and somersault over it, landing safely on the opposite pavement. I came to my senses at the last millisecond, otherwise it might be a ghost posting this comment.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
I've had two. One of them I was doing dishes, putting them in the sink. I saw a cup mostly filled with juice, grumbling about what a waste it was, and rather than pour old juice down the drain, simply emptied it on my kitchen counter. I just stared at it before going to watch TV for a bit. Apparently my sleep deprived brain needed a reset.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
I had one many years ago that I cannot believe hasn't been brought up before. I woke up, walked to my door, and freaked out because the door didn't go where I thought it went. I thought I was in another house for some reason and began freaking out. My mom trying to console me through the door didn't register.... till I woke up fully and realized I had walked into my closet instead. Gratefully mom was the only one home and never told anyone that story because she must have realized it would be humiliating but she laughed so hard.
Load More Replies... Greg Warren 1 year ago
When I was in the Navy standing watch, at 4am a shipmate comes up to the Quarterdeck and reports "some a*****e" is sleeping in my rack. He said he told the guy to get out and was told F** off! Either I do something or he's going to get a beating. I wake up the Duty Master at Arms who takes along a couple of friends and they extricate the person. Turns out he's assigned to the ship across the Pier. Right berthing assignment, just wrong ship. The previous watch had just let the drunk dude aboard.
Via Hawk 1 year ago
Multiple times I’ll see a random object and think it’s an animal. One time I was so tired and didn’t catch myself and asked my professor “what? Why do you have a duck? Is that for an experiment?” It was a scarf. He was carrying a scarf to the lost and found. He looks at me and says “do you need stronger glasses or something?”
Bear Family 1 year ago
Was working huge hours and sleeping about four or so hours a night. Woke up before my alarm one night. Switched it off, dressed, bathroom/shave, bowl of cereal and drove over to pickup my friend who carpooled with me. Friends' house was very dark, as we're all the houses. Hardly any traffic. Switched on the radio and realized not only was I three hours early it was also a day off. Drove home and went to bed. Bought a watch that day....
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
I have the day off from work today so I went to brunch with my cousins. After leaving the restaurant, I drove to work. Once I got there, I sat in the parking lot wondering why sonething seemed off before I realized I should have gone home instead. Btw, this brunch involved no drinking!
Ivo H 1 year ago
I have one good one. A year back, when my sons were young enough they needed formula during night, I woke up veeeeery badly, went to the kitchen, warmed up a water and suddenly the water was gone. Formula was prepared in bottle, but the I just couldn't find the water... Angrily I heated up new water, finished the formula, gave it to my wife and went back to sleep. In the morning I found out what happened. I just poured the water right into (newly opened) package of formula. It cost me $20.
Monday 1 year ago
These always remind me of the time I caught myself about to squeeze toothpaste onto my razor with the intent of brushing my teeth....
pineapple87 1 year ago
I was once making myself toast for breakfast. When the toaster pops, I stare blankly at the empty toaster for a while before realizing that I hadn't actually put bread in.
Shelby Jackson 1 year ago
A few years ago I worked for a bank branch and went to work. Waited for an hour and non of my coworkers show up. Text my manager asking if anyone was coming in. He said "dude it's Sunday". He was the best boss.
Whitey Black 1 year ago
I once was using voice-to-text while driving. In the middle of the text I sent to a girl I had just met it read: "pick a lane you stupid twat!"
CosmcCookie 1 year ago
I'm sitting at my desk reading this on my tablet that's leaned against my monitor and tried scrolling with my mouse
Candi Cabaniss 1 year ago
I am a teacher. One morning I was trying to get into my classroom, mentally cussing because the door would not work. Then I realized that instead of using my class' key I was pressing the unlock button on my vehicle's key.
That guy Nic B. 1 year ago
I was making lunch while watching studio c and I put my food in the fridge instead of the microwave
Elisa 1 year ago
When I was in 3rd grade, I sat in the front left corner of the room, returning from recess I walked into the wrong classroom and I was confused to why all the kids from the other class were in my classroom because they both looked the same. I walked to the front left corner desk and sat down the girl who was meant to be sitting there came in just after and asked why i was sitting in her seat and to please get out of her seat. I said it was my seat and then it clicked. I apologized left. When I was about ten my mums car crashed and we had to rent one for about a week. So we rode that car somewhere and parked in a parking lot. When we were coming back there were three cars that looked similar to it all next to each other. tried to open the wrong car's door I was like OH NO and ran to the next car and which I thought was the rental, but it wasn't so panicking, I ran to the next car and luckily that one was the right car but I got it wrong twice lol.
Elisa 1 year ago
Oh also one time my brother ate a bunny poop thinking it was a raisin
Load More Replies... HistoryLover 1 year ago
I almost took a drink of my valve oil once. Thank god for child safety locks or I would be dead(for non brass instrument players, valve oil is dangerous if ingested and can be fatal). Here’s the whole story. I had my Pepsi bottle right next to my valve oil when I was practicing baritone. I put the oil bottle to my mouth, WITH THE LID ON, and realized nothing was coming out, so I proceeded to try and take the lid off. I do this occasionally with my drinks where I forget to take the lid off first, so that didn’t faze me, but I was really confused why it was suddenly so hard to open my Pepsi. It wasn’t until I looked down at my hand that I realized I just tried to poison myself. Shout out to the inventor of child safety locks. They protect adults sometimes too.
Kar Red Roses 1 year ago
This is why I habitually look _both_ ways before crossing a *one way* street… 😅 we could all maybe use some more sleep to help with our focus
ObsidianAce_ 1 year ago
My dog had passed away recently, and I hadn’t quite gotten used to it yet- I dropped a piece of ham on the floor making a sandwich. I shouted “cleanup!” Expecting to hear a dog rush down the stairs and come eat it. I wander off looking for him, because he *always* comes for cleanup. My mother comes in to find a half made sandwich and a piece of ham on the floor.
MadamGreenIce 1 year ago
Once I went to a public toilet in a mall. Entered one cubicle and noticed the seat was up but didn't think much of it. I did my business and got out only to find urinals attached to the wall. My shortcircuit brain had lead me to gents toilet (I'm a woman).
Danni 1 year ago
I had some xmas icicles outside my house. one evening, they were tapping on the window in the wind, so my half asleep brain, got up, turned them off at the plug, then came back into the room, asking my partner why they were still making the noise when i had turned them off. i got laughed at a lot that evening!!
Michael P. 1 year ago
I can be absent-minded sometimes so I have my moments. From walking into a room to get something and then wondering why I went into this room as soon as I enter to burning frozen pizzas because I forgot that I had put something in the toaster oven.
(Un)Inspired Aspiring Author 1 year ago
I love these kinds of posts! They always have my laughing until I cry
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